Thursday, February 26, 2015

"Eye-Eye" Mamn

As Momma Fortune would have it, as I was beginning to write this Cyrsti's Condo post, I jumped over to Femulate  and read what Stana was up to. It turns out she had written a very interesting post about the concept of "passing".  I think it is very much a which came first "The chicken or the egg?" concept. Indeed, how much does attitude factor into navigating the world as a feminine person and does it come after one has achieved a certain level of knowledge of how to present one's self. 

How Stana's post worked into mine happened yesterday, as I mentioned briefly in my last post. Essentially, I was wrapping up a long day. After the therapist visit I made the 100+ mile trip down to Liz's in time to help take her 89 year old Dad to the Doc. We then got him home in time to ship a package at USPS before they closed and only then had a chance to stop and get vittles for dinner.

By this time of my day, I had had no time to touch up the make up I happening to still be wearing by the time we went into a close by regular big grocery store, close to Liz's house.  As we came through the front doors, I just happened to make eye contact with a nearby woman.  Normally anymore, my eye contacts with women are fleeting and without much reaction. This person was different in the fact she was nearly as tall as I am and happened to show up again in the checkout line next to ours.  By this time, I had alerted to Liz to take a look at her and see if we knew her.  She said no but Liz began to watch her as she watched me. 

I was just interested.  I am pretty much way past how peeps view me.  Sure I get looks but most of the time I am with Liz, so I am passing by default.  I am living my life and the world is living theirs'.

Like Stana (and so many of you) I work hard on the image I present to the public-because I want to and I have to. I do think the effects of HRT have helped me to quote "pass" but the added confidence I have from the shear amount of life "lessons" I have learned (and continue to)-probably helps me more.

Finally, I go back to one of my basic "passing" concepts: You can look as beautiful as you can in your mirror -or in a picture but as soon as you enter the world, it's a whole different gender universe- no matter if you identify as a cross dresser or a transgender woman.  One really has to act like she has been there before to "pass" and by the way-didn't the egg have to come first?

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