Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

So All "Pub" Is Not Good "Pub?"

By "Pub" I am referring to "Publicity", specifically transgender pub.

Michelle and Pat responded to our recent Cyrsti's Condo post on the rise of positive transgender role models and shows on TV.  Appropriately both mentioned we all still suffer from the negative story too and Michelle even looked forward to the day when we trans folk are not news simply when we walk on to a podium or stage.

On occasion, I can be a visionary and see it happening, on others, my vision is not so good.  I would suppose the process depends exactly where you live. Yesterday was one of those days I agreed with Michelle's hopes as it was my time to shine in the waiting room of my small local Veterans Administration clinic. I was there for my yearly therapist "check up" with the VA and I was deemed "so interesting" that I was essentially tag teamed. One was a "meds" specialist, the other "lifestyle."

I didn't set out to become, well- publicity.  In my local clinic-I still do my best to butch it up.  It is tough anymore because of my mane of long hair and HRT softened skin. Once I get to the staff, I'm not fooling anyone anyhow, I'm fairly sure all of the clinic's small staff (maybe 3 docs and 12 nurses etc) know of "me" and really have gone out of their way to respect my transition. I have heard "rumors" of other transgender patients in the Dayton, Ohio hospital center but of course I have never met one.

The patients in the waiting room are a different matter. The process at times gets to be rather humorous. I get looks from everyone, especially the generics. I think "get over my hair! Bitches!!!"

Fast forward the process to my therapist appointments.  Both went so far as to not use a first name with me at all when then called me in. Med therapist was predictably dry, but lifestyle therapist was interesting.  At one point she was even apologizing for Ohio's supposed resistance to LGBT culture in any form. (Outside of Columbus.)  I jumped into educational mode and told her about the advances in our part of the state in cities such as Cincinnati and nearby Dayton. Thankfully, all my visits went well and I left hoping I was able to leave as much positive "Pub" as I could for the cause.

I'm not naive enough to think we now we are not doing anymore than scratching the surface of transgender acceptance.  I equate the process to a version of urban guerrilla warfare, a door to door - person to person battle. We are just going to have to make sure we tip the good publicity scale to the max and win the battles and the war..

Trans Girls Night Out

I have a dear transgender woman friend I mention here in Cyrsti's Condo often. Lately we have been able to get together every other week or so.  Last night was one of those nights.

Naturally, the chance to interact one on one with another trans girl is special- period.  We share the unique bond of the lives we lead.  No matter what anyone else thinks of us (pro or con) we are living the life we so desperately wanted.

We always meet in a beer tap house/restaurant and sit at the bar and chat.  I've been a regular  for over seven years and have in many ways transitioned in front of a couple of their long term bartenders. In fact two of them remember me when I used to come in there as a guy with my deceased wife who used to work nearby. So meeting my friend there is a natural since I have been accepted for so long and now she is too.

She is significantly ahead of me in her transition in many ways and behind in others.  She is 40, I'm estimating on and off hormones for 15 years, tons of electrolysis, tall, slim and attractive. So attractive last night, the acoustical guitar singer playing was seriously flirting with her.  We even got a special mention to the "ladies at the bar" - we were the only ones.

The only transitional  area I believe she is behind me is she is finally putting full energy into being herself.  It's the place my partner Liz says I found myself in a year or so ago.  She says she found herself marveling at my feminine person coming out of her shell. Also,  I have been so fortunate to witness it in a transgender man friend I have. Of course I'm biased, but I don't see how even the biggest transgender detractors can ignore this.

Now my friend is working on changing her gender markers.  Drivers license done, except for a subtle screw job at the BMV when they added her very male middle name on a license marked "F".  Of course they did! I have no middle name on my male license at all.  Her next step, the legal name change, is in it's final stages.

Can't say I'm not more than a little envious and a much more than a ton frustrated. My plan still is to wait until I go through the turmoil of a final move in with Liz before I begin the gender marker journey. That kids, is a whole other story because you have to add the Medicare and Veteran's Administration systems to my markers, just to make sure I would have extra fun!

But real fun was what the two of us had last night.  I even volunteered to be her "wing girl"-if she buys the wings!

Dave, Darlene and Christmas

Darlene Love (New York Times Picture)

I feel a great loss coming.  In May, David Letterman is calling it quits.  Of all the late show hosts, Letterman represented to me - my generation.  I was too young for much of Johnny Carson, Jay Leno was OK, but Letterman who hails from neighboring Indiana, was just right.

I feel old when I think another of my generation is moving on but tonight, I will be sobbing like a baby girl as Darlene Love sings her "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) song for the final time tonight. Darlene Love is 73 and still can wail! The song is an original from a Phil Spector produced 1963 Christmas Album.


If you aren't in a place to see David Letterman's show, take the time to get on YouTube and watch Darlene Love put broken down pretenders like Mariah Carey in her Christmas dust!

Cyrsti's Condo OMG

Ian never really thought his sister would set him up on a blind date. He is downstairs waiting! Pull up those big girl panties!

Your Holiday Frock!

From Katie Glover, Editor of Frock Magazine :

The brand new Holiday issue of Frock Magazine is now available for desktop computer users at http://frockmagazine.com/frock/.

Read about the plight of a reader who came out and now has to live in her car!

Meet Olesia from Moscow and New York drag legend, Charles Busch.

Who are the 5 most influential trans people in the world today. Find out in this issue.

And meet The Trans Before Christmas plus heaps more. It's all in the new Holiday issue of your favorite free trans and drag mag - Frock! Please help us get this out there by telling all your friends! Now, it's time to hop into your Frock!

And! Don't forget my article "Frock of Ages"!!!!

Trans Visible Again?

Lately it seems, I'm increasingly writing about transgender women breaking the gender barrier and becoming more and more visible. The fact that several of the most visible right now are transgender women of color. Women such as Laverne Cox and Janet Mock are truly "out and proud" - but after listening to Laverne I learned life is still not as easy for her as most of us would think. As her Mom told her-her hands and feet were too big for a woman's-even though now she has her Mom's full support.

Now Best-selling author and transgender activist Janet Mock (left) has been named a special correspondent on in Entertainment Tonight. In her first appearance she delved into the issue of cisgender (nontrans) actors playing trans roles and a host of other topics in an interview with Transparent star Jeffrey Tambor. (More here.)  

Certainly, I am thrilled every time I see a positive transgender story and now even more thrilled when a trans person is actually involved in the process. (rare) I know the only persons who can truly understand my mtf gender transition are those friends of mine who are going through it too.

I do wonder how all of this "plays at home." I remember years ago when the transgender term was rare at best and most cross dressing images were characters up to "no good."  When my wife and I were watching one of these shows, the cross dressed character became the "elephant in the room." I did my best to not be too excited.  

I also wonder if this rush of transgender education and publicity helps those of you (in a relationship) considering playing in the girl's sandbox.  For women like me, I can only hope my friends and acquaintances think, "Hey! There is a person like Cyrsti!" 

The Trans "Big Three?"

Candy Magazine is marking it's 5th anniversary and  has revealed a fold-out spread which features 14 transgender role models and leading trans activists, including the gorgeous quartet of Laverne Cox, Janet Mock, and Carmen Carrera taking center stage.  For a closer look-go OUT-here

Not surprisingly, the Cyrsti's Condo post "Is Cross Dressing a Gateway Drug?" has brought in comments-and good ones!
I'm going to try to condense them in this post.

1. Paula GoodwinDecember 15, 2014 at 7:59 AM

   This is along the lines of "it's just about the clothes" the only way to find out is to do it, but the big question has to be why we enjoy the clothes, is it simply because we want to experience the clothes at a more intimate level than just looking, or is it because it's the way we can experience womanhood. ~ we can only work that out for ourselves, and part of that working out process involves the cross dressing stage.
2. 
   joanna SantosDecember 15, 2014 at 8:02 AM

   I can relate to this topic very much Cyrsti and it is not an obvious distinction to make. In fact the person themselves does not know where they fit into the spectrum until much reflection has been made. Perhaps the best thing is to let much time go by before committing to anything and find your comfort level as you go. Once you reach it you know where you can stop. After all this process should be organic.
   
   Joanna
3. 
   Pat ScalesDecember 15, 2014 at 12:35 PM

   Perhaps crossdressing is a gateway drug for some but not for others. I like being a CD. I can probably come up with a long list of things I like about being CD. I am also rather pleased with being a guy for the past 6+ decades and being happily married to a wonderful woman for the past 4+ decades. I know that there are multiple aspects to who I am, what I like, who do I relate with, how do I relate with them and how can I go about making the most of my situation and go about making life and experience with others bettter.
   I count myself as fortunate in that I can deal with my dressing and gender issues as being one part of who I am. I tend to try to avoid labeling myself and others since there are few labels that are one size fits all. Yes I am CD. Yes, I am a guy. I also work full time and have a work life and position that impacts many people.. I also drive a car and golf and occasionally ski. I do lots of things and try to think in terms of what I am doing rather than defining myself as what I may be.
   Pat

Well, I couldn't write it better than these three ladies did! Thanks to all!  As always though, I am going to take this all another step in a future post.