Saturday, October 4, 2014

"Back in Black?"

Jen Smith sent in a comment on a Cyrsti's Condo post which went several different directions and ended up on wigs:

 Cyrsti, I *really* like how you look in the picture with the black hair!

With my my limited public exposure so far, I think I worry first about how my face is presenting, then the wig for sure is #2. 

But after I'm out in public, there isn't too much I can do to improve my makeup, so I found myself mildly obsessed with how my hair was looking. When we were out shopping I was constantly looking at reflections of myself in windows and store mirrors to see if it needed adjusting.

It's probably a lot worse for me as I've always kept my hair very short.

Excellent points Jen! (And thanks for the compliment!)  Ironically the wig colors were both very similar to my natural hair color, before the gray! On the other hand-my Mom's family was dominated by red heads.

I think becoming skilled enough to "match" my foundation makeup to my skin and then to a hair color was a very tough learning process.  Plus, as I started to go public more and began to build a stable feminine persona-switching wig styles and colors was not good for the process.

Like so many other cross dressers I too went down the "blond" route, which in itself is not bad.  Unless you try to go too blond like I did.  The "honey blond" which I will show you in an ancient picture worked well for me for years.

I too, did the mirror thing everytime I went out.  I did it for two reasons.  I was trying to reassure myself that was me in the reflection and did I look the best I could.  Many times I just gave up in disgust and went home-back to the drawing board.

Like you Jen, I kept my hair very short except for a brief time in the late 70's.  Growing up my brother and I always were subjected to crew cuts or burr hair cuts.  Even when I started college in 1968 at Muskingum and came home with hair touching my collar and ears the parents figured for sure I was a hippie. 

Combined with the blessing of having no male pattern baldness in my family, I think being forced to have short hair all those years benefits me now.  My hair has not had to endure a lifetime of being colored, styled, torched and permed like a genetic my age.

Finally Jen, indeed I may go back to the "darkside" this winter.  I still have those wigs around which Liz and I can judge the look.  One way or another, it's fun! Thanks again for the comment!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover today is Miranda Lombardo MISS TRANS NACIONAL MÉXICO 2014.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Can You Ever Go Home?

I have a very old friend and dare I say a bit frustrated at times with his life in the closet as a cross dresser on occasion. Then it is time to "chat" with me and try to pick an argument.

I use the "frustrated" word with him because he seems to delight in passing along stories of so called transsexuals who "went the distance" and completed SRS-only wanting to return as close as possible to their birth gender.

By trade he is a retired engineer and is the stereotypical "connect the dots" style thinker.  Although he won't come out and actually say it to me, he believes very few sex changes are needed and/or work.

It's an interesting concept and one neither of us or perhaps anyone has a true statistical answer which would satisfy him.

Personally, I think it is inevitable some gender dysphoric people maybe aren't that at all and really don't get a strong enough dose of living in the girls sandbox to see what it is about.

Plus then there is that pesky age thing which haunts the genetics as well as us too.  Being that "young pretty thing" is out.  So I tell him not to go making "hero's" out of these people who want to go back to their birth gender.  They just made a mistake, certainly a big one but in his engineering world does he toss out a whole project if one out of a hundred parts comes back as defective?

At the least, it's an interesting discussion and being an extremely "gray thinker", I am constantly taking him places he doesn't want to go.  For example HRT - another of his pet peeves. Paraphrasing: Why would anyone embark on such a potentially dangerous path with no concrete results. At that point I have to jump in for him and connect his dots.  Potentially undergoing hormone replacement therapy does have concrete results and has a positive affect on the very high number of suicide attempts in the transgender community.

I can never get him to admit he is talking about me and my decision to go down the HRT pathway. Or, is he a little frustrated he purged himself into the closet in the 80's never to see the light of day again.

Probably I will never know.  I just hope he can finally connect some of his own dots and quit counting how much money he has around.

Speaking for me, I never want to go home again.  If my medically monitored hormones take some time off my life, so be it.  The alternative was worse.


Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Confidence is the sexiest thing a girl can wear! Flaunt what cha got, Be Fabulous, Sorry not Sorry. ;)Before you tip toe cautiously out of the closet, just remember this!

Where Did You Get Your Wig?

In my continuing saga of answering Missy's questions about my MtF transition path, a few I get on a weekly basis, a couple, every other week and finally others which I get frustrated with because of their frequency.

It's OK though.  One of her fondest repeats is when she sees the different sides of me, it is still me.  I know it's tough to explain to someone who knew me for nearly 30 years in my guy life, that between my ears I was never him.

Yesterday, to try to clarify, I pulled out the "mirror theory".  In other words, I know who I am now and to live it easier, a feminized version of my body makes the process easier.  In other words, I'm reflecting woman back to the world. But, to confuse her even more, on occasion I'm more of a gender fluid person.  Especially when I have to pull out my guy self from behind the curtain and insert him back into the game. Not unlike a puppet. I just know some of you are waiting to use the ventriloquist and dummy cheap shot!

2010
At this point,  I think I'm making a little headway with her (until she asks the same question next week.) Plus, while I am at this magical point, I try to go further in-depth and explain the impact of not having to not wear a wig.  Probably the most the one biggest positive of my HRT.. Whichever hair "Goddess" gifted me with all of this wavy, to the middle of my back hair- I will thank forever.

During the last several years since I went "wig-less" only a couple women have asked where I got my wig and they knew me through my "wig" years. They commented how "real" it looked and of course I said it is!

The best wig story I have comes from when I was in a gay venue watching a drag show some time ago and one of the performing drag queens came up and said, "I love your wig, honey."  In one of the rare moments I have ever seen a drag queen at a loss for words was when I said, "How do you know it is a wig, girlfriend!"  To the left you will see a 2010 "wigged" me (wigged out!).  I had two dark long wigs, the other was very straight.  Both seemingly were an "all or nothing" proposition.  Either I could get them on my noggin in a fairly decent matter - or I couldn't. More than once, I spent a night feeling totally uncomfortable because of my wig.

This whole subject is just another matter we share with the genetics. On Twitter I read recently a brief exchange asking where the editor of the xoJane site telling an inquiring reader-no, that is not a "Morticia Wig" she was wearing-it was her own hair. OOOPs! I wondered briefly if that was like asking a woman "when she is due" and she is not pregnant at all. Plus, lets not forget the upkeep required for your hair.
 
To the right is the last  picture taken of me in a wig and coincidentally is the one I was wearing when the drag queen commented to me.

Look, I do know how fortunate I am to be able to have and wear the hair I do.

I also know great wig ideas for novice cross dressers and beyond are available on Femulate .  Stana's style surely goes from head to toe!




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Thursday, October 2, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Gender Blender"

Stav Strashko
Stav Strashko

Boris Aprel
Boris Apfrel
The pretty pretty boys are back in town!
























Halloween Comes in Many Flavors!

Over the years, I have approached Halloween from many different angles, many depended on my goals for the evening, where I was in my transition and who I was with.

The very first Halloween I went all out cross dressed was the one I have written about extensively here in Cyrsti's Condo.  It was 1974 in Germany, I was in the Army (of all places) and ended up with me coming up to several people as a transvestite not long after that.

Of course, wearing a short skirt in everyday Army life was not beneficial to earning a honorable discharge-so back I went into the closet.

During the next several years, I shied away from going to parties where I knew several people-opting for bigger venues.  I agonized for literally months on a costume that in my mind was sexy, somewhat passable and creative.  I was never as creative as Pat and  her "Monica Lewinski" costume.

Looking back at the "impossible dream", I think I made it a couple of times-that's it.  I'm not saying though I didn't have fun.

As I see it, here are a few of the Halloween party dividing points.
Will the cross dressed Sarah Palin please reveal himself?

  1. Are you going to a party at a friends or with friends?
  2. Do you want to be passable, comical, trashy or creative?
  3. Is your costume based on a current well known woman? Example, Lewinski, Sarah Palin, Elvira in her prime, etc.
  4. How "detailed" do you plan to be?  Shaved legs, nice wig, etc?
  5. Depending upon how "accomplished" you are-how will you handle comments? (Which will come.)
In later posts we will take a closer look at all of these!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day."

quotes about moving on - Google Search
From Stephanie Johnson via Google
Jumping off the gender cliff is terrifying, But....

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "OOOOPS!"

.My wife hasn't figured out my idea of a "girl's night out!"
Un- identified cross dresser-Pinterest

Well, un-fortunately, my wife and I weren't on the same page when she mentioned a "girl's night out" - without me!!!!

Breaking the Gender Chains

  Image from Arlem Lambunsky on UnSplash. For years and years I blamed myself for my transgender issues.  I did not have access to the prope...