"Tis" The Season-Almost

As I look out the front windows here in Cyrsti's Condo, I see the trees donning their yellows and reds for fall fashion and- of course my mind wanders past fashion to Halloween.

Rightly or wrongly, Halloween has left indelible marks in my noggin.  When I was a kid and all the way through college to my Army days, I never dressed as a girl for parties.  Not to say I didn't want to desperately, just didn't have the courage to do it (which turned out to be my problem for nearly five decades.)

Unidentified Cross Dresser

Once I did begin to celebrate Halloween in all sorts of feminine costumes, quickly I learned two basics.  The first was I didn't want to wait a whole year to cross dress again in public.  The second was, beware of compliments.  It took me years to figure out I wasn't some sort of deity who could "make" a good looking woman and if I was indeed attractive was it because I was a guy cross dressing as a woman?

Looking back, the problem was, these experiences just were opening  a gender Pandora's Box. If you take one of the definitions literally, the phrase "to open Pandora's box" means to perform an action that may seem small or innocent, but that turns out to have severely detrimental and far-reaching consequences.  How true it was, those early Halloween adventures were detrimental to me because I spent years trying to learn and then conceal being transgender.  "Far reaching" speaks for itself.

On the other hand, I was able to have several incredible Halloween experiences. Many of which we will write about in October! And! I would love to write about yours too!

Who Is "Cassandra Cass?"

After posting a picture of Cassandra Cass as "Jessica Rabbit" I decided to to a little research here for us in Cyrsti's Condo and find out who she is:
From Wikipedia:

As an actress, Cass is known for Trantasia (2006), Wild Things (2010), and What's the T? (2012). Trantasia is a documentary that chronicles contestants as they take part in the first ever "World's Most Beautiful Transsexual Pageant."The documentary was featured on Tyra Banks's show, dedicating a whole show to talking about it. Wild Things was an eight-episode reality television series which featured three transgender women on a road-trip to earn money for a relative of one of the three women who was seriously ill.^[The reality show starred Cassandra Cass, Maria Roman, and Tiara Russell, three original characters from Trantasia.^[ The documentary What's the T? followed the lives of five trans women. Cass has also been on television shows and in other movies. 

She is also an established performer in San Francisco who does drag and lip-sync shows. And she has had a calendar put out over the last several years.

Well...OK!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day."

Cyrsti's Condo "Star Gazin"

Just a big ol "Lord have mercy!" the stars caught me right smack in the middle of my mirror this week! I hope I'm not catching you other Libra's in the same mirror!

Libra: (September 23-October 22): A slip of the tongue happens and if it’s coming from you, you need to warn others. You have a certain love of vagueness that can alarm many when they see how deep it runs in you. In fact, it runs so deep, you sometimes wind up roaming in circles. To help in clearing that fog, at least for others, work harder on your articulation and annunciation.

My only hope is my friends truly know my vagueness does run deep within me and that's because I am roaming in circles mentally! None of it is evil though and after 65 yrs, it's tough to fix!
 I have a very difficult time staying in the present which I sometimes wonder comes from my transgender past.  At any rate, don't worry about those alarms! (We can figure out later whose noggin they were really in!)

Our guest sign today is Aries: (March 21-April 19): No matter how disappointed you feel in someone’s inability to understand you, you will find the way to love them through that shortcoming. It’s the least you can do, as there are things about you that aren’t easy for the average person to grasp.  So, if you’re going to be upset about anything now, it’ll be that and not giving a rat’s ass on who sees your pain.

As always, if we didn't get to your sign, don't sit and "boo-hoo'!  Go here for yours.

Cyrsti's Condo "Crazy Wabbit!"

MtF transsexual woman Cassandra Cass as Jessica Rabbit

Cyrsti's Condo "Num-mers!"

Our feature cover today is

Thai transgender showgirl Nisarat (Num) modelling.

I "Know" You?

I'm going to mention"Trans Dar" only one more time here in Cyrsti's Condo (I promise-maybe!)

Over the past decade I had only really three opportunities tt meet and perhaps interact in a positive way with sisters I knew were cross dressers.

• The "matron"  in the mall.  I saw this person walking below me as I was standing on the "mezzanine" (2nd floor) of this mall I was in,. At first glance,  she was a tall matronly dressed older woman-until she passed me by and I saw the back of her head. The whole back of her very male neck was exposed by an extreme ill fitting wig.  I tried to get down an escalator to make eye contact and even say something.  I never saw her again as obviously she was moving at a very "un-matronly" speed.  I just wanted to re-arrange her wig!

The "grunge girl" in the mall.  I don't even know if "grunge" is the proper style description. I have added a non cross dresser picture to show you what I'm talking about. (left) At any rate, this younger CD was tantalizingly close to pulling off the look.  But- She was having a real difficult time with walking in the boots  and I thought was making novice cross dressing mistakes such as wearing every bit of her outfit too tight. I made no attempt to say anything and just followed along at a safe distance and watched how everyone else viewed her.  Truthfully , she took the "pressure" off of me.

•  "The lady in white" in Friday's. If you don't know, "Friday's" is a restaurant/bar chain in the United States.  Years ago, I was a regular in a couple nearby units and they always treated me with respect. One night I was at the bar and noticed a tall well dressed woman come into the bar area, order a glass of wine and go sit down behind me somewhere. I was 99% sure she was a cross dresser because she wasn't fluid like a woman, dressed too perfect and scared to death. I sat there for a bit giving myself a chance to gather up the courage to say hello.  I waited too long though and when I did look for her a short time later, she had downed her wine and bolted out of there. For months I looked for her, but never saw her again.

Well kids, there have been other times and other places where my "Trans-dar" was going crazy, but not for a long time.  I don't know I have a reason why. Perhaps the "luck of the draw" or I'm off in my own little world. I have an amusement park there!

Cyrsti's Condo "A Change of Plans?"

Hey Joe, this is Ian. I have a question to ask you BEFORE we meet up with the rest of the guys tonight for wing and beer night at the bar...

Cyrsti's Condo - "The Sunday Edition"

Good morning kids, ker plunk! another "fabtabulous" Sunday Edition is hitting your front porch.  I like to refer to this type of Sunday morning here in Ohio, USA as a soft Sunday.  It's mild, slightly overcast and quiet, except for the hot pot "o joe" brewing away in the coffee maker.

Page1.- The week that was-or wasn't.  For no particular reason (like so many other things in my noggin), last week we discussed interactions between transgender women and transgender men and even journeyed into the lesbian culture too.  I went into my theories on a very complex subject and received several thoughtful replies from your end.  Including this one from Diane Michelle Ryan:

Susan Herr

Hi Cyrsti
Love your Blog. I have never had an problem with older lesbians but younger ones can look at us with tuff looks. I live in the Bay Area & see a lot of FTM's out here.

hugs 
Diane

Thanks Diane!!!!  You are right and I think the younger butch's or "soft studs" are in a situation where they "out" and "feeling their oats" so to speak.  Perhaps the "tuff looks" we see are a reflection of that and the older lesbians have mellowed.  Several I know have worked through the "how you identify" stage into the "person you are" stage.

In no order of importance, came this comment which spoke to the possibility of trans guys and trans women interacting and growing with each other.  From Shelli Anne Mulka:

I'm a transwoman myself and know three transmen fairly well. One of them and I go out for a dinner and a movie every month or so and really enjoy being a "couple'. It gives us each a chance to "fine-tune" our image to the real world, and we often end up laughing about each of us "running in opposite directions and side-swiping each other". It gives us a feeling of mutuality which might even lead to romance some day, a concept that really doesn't bother me all that much ! We just may have as much in common as most couples, who can say? Peace & Love, Shelli Anne

Peace and love to you Shelli Anne!  I find it very interesting when you look into the dynamics of a trans woman/man relationship.  I have two friends who went on a very bumpy ride.  I think through no fault of their own, both were experiencing natural changes during their transition and will come out of the process as difference people than at the beginning.  Difficult to negotiate at the best!

Page 2.- Trans dar!  "Oh no she dident"- Go there again!  We indeed did go there again here in the Condo.  I asked the question, what would you do if you had the chance to speak to another cross dresser or transgender woman you had never met before:

Again, we received several quality responses including Jen Smith:   If my trans-dar goes off I do often glance casually her/his way, and if we make eye contact I just give a slight friendly smile as I would to anyone. 
I really just make the glance to see what I can learn (good or bad) from how she is presenting.

And Pat:

My T-dar is almost always on and I think that the same is true for my wife but I sense her acute sensitivity towards potential T-folk may be due in part to her over all sensitivity to everything in her environment as well as having lived with me for all these years. I tend to think that most people tend to be oblivious to the fact that we live among them.

Of course Pat, my warped sense of humor loved the "we live among them" comment as a Halloween reference to Vampires - where she was going anyhow:

Alexander Bekker

Last year we were simple spectators at the Asbury Park Zombie walk. While there I gave a pint of blood at the bloodmobile outside the legendary Stone Pony. I just got a mailer from the blood bank about this year's Zombie walk. I think that perhaps my wife and I may do the dual ghoul walk and perhaps she would consent to me doing it in fem. I will be planning to give another pint of blood so it would be interesting to be a guy dressed as a dead woman getting my blood drained in broad daylight.

Thanks Pat!

The Back Page.-  As they say in the "old country" (where I live) we are out of space, time and maybe luck! Thanks for stopping by the Condo and especially participating!  I get sooo tired of asking my dog!