Pat recently brought it up in another comment here in Cyrsti's Condo, the tumultuous years of mid to late 1960's into the mid 1970's potentially could have been a time for change in the transgender culture too.
It simply wasn't and I have ideas why (of course I do!).
Two words: Vietnam and ignorance. First of all, allow me to define my definition of the word ignorance. I'm not equating it with stupidity or lack of intelligence. I'm simply saying ignorance is not having access to information. During that time (and after) gender dysphoria was considered a mental illness issue. No pun intended, but real information about words such as transgender and transsexual was beginning to finally come out of the closet.
In those days though, it was a tough world to come out to. Beginning with JFK in the early 1960's, a tragic hot mess of a war in Vietnam and then the losses of JFK, Martin Luther King Jr, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin-gender dysphoria all of a sudden wasn't so important. Except for those of us who suffered with it.
The sad part to me is, so many who didn't live through it have such a cavalier view towards it. I talk to anyone who will listen of my deep problem with being the only gender drafted. I am not saying genetic women should not have been in combat (that is another discussion), I am saying everyone should have been drafted. Find something for everyone to do.
So, those are the reasons I believe when we look back on an era of extreme change, really it wasn't for us.
Friday, August 29, 2014
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Ohio Proud
Here in the USA Heartland commonly called the Mid West we are commonly thought of as one big "gob" of territory and peeps who "happen " to exist between the elitist "right and left" coasts of the country. When I lived around NYC years ago, many I worked with could only equate where I lived to how close it was to Texas...really?
We are used to it of course and yes live real lives with computers, electricity and indoor plumbing out here on the frontier.
To break it down for you in Ohio (where every presidential candidate seems to camp out anymore) we have the three "C's", Cincinnati, Columbus and Cleveland. As major metro areas. Over the past decade Columbus became the most diverse in the GLBTQ arena, spurred on in no small part by The Ohio State University with it's 45,000+ students. But now, the other "two C's" are beginning to catch up.
In August, Cleveland hosted the "Gay Games" and now, the "third C" is stepping up to the plate. I'm talking about Cincinnati and not the Reds (who haven't hit the ball much this year.). Cincy was always regarded as the backward step child of the "3-C's" for any number of reasons including the influence of Kentucky across the Ohio River to an ultra conservative powerful Catholic church. Over the past five years or so someone woke up in Cincy and positive changes are coming fast and furious- including this one:
We are used to it of course and yes live real lives with computers, electricity and indoor plumbing out here on the frontier.
To break it down for you in Ohio (where every presidential candidate seems to camp out anymore) we have the three "C's", Cincinnati, Columbus and Cleveland. As major metro areas. Over the past decade Columbus became the most diverse in the GLBTQ arena, spurred on in no small part by The Ohio State University with it's 45,000+ students. But now, the other "two C's" are beginning to catch up.
In August, Cleveland hosted the "Gay Games" and now, the "third C" is stepping up to the plate. I'm talking about Cincinnati and not the Reds (who haven't hit the ball much this year.). Cincy was always regarded as the backward step child of the "3-C's" for any number of reasons including the influence of Kentucky across the Ohio River to an ultra conservative powerful Catholic church. Over the past five years or so someone woke up in Cincy and positive changes are coming fast and furious- including this one:
Medically necessary "transgender" procedures will be covered under the City of Cincinnati's health insurance starting next year.
The reason: To help Cincinnati lure citizens and workers.
"Since I've been here I've worked to make this city as competitive and inclusive as possible," said Cincinnati City Councilman Chris Seelbach, the city's first openly gay councilman. "This is a another step in that direction."
Seelbach led a council majority in signing a letter urging the change.
Cincinnati would be the first city in Ohio to offer transgender procedures in its health benefits, according to a statewide advocacy group.
Shane Morgan, founder and chair of TransOhio, which provides education and advocacy, praised city officials.
"For Cincinnati to cover their trans employees – because there are trans employees who work there – is great," Morgan said. "Hopefully cities elsewhere in Ohio will follow that."
Shane Morgan is right. We are good for business, it's getting the narrow minded bible beaters and bigots around this state to realize it- is the tough task. In the smaller towns like I live in, you only need to follow the money to why change is slow. Everyone, being a business person, preacher-or whatever just wants to protect their little pile of sand.
Usually they do it under the guise of "protecting" the kids or God. So sad.
Shane Morgan is right. We are good for business, it's getting the narrow minded bible beaters and bigots around this state to realize it- is the tough task. In the smaller towns like I live in, you only need to follow the money to why change is slow. Everyone, being a business person, preacher-or whatever just wants to protect their little pile of sand.
Usually they do it under the guise of "protecting" the kids or God. So sad.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
What Now?
Here in Cyrsti's Condo, we have been discussing earlier times when passing successfully was a goal and often the only one. I know I totally was missing the essence of being myself on the days I blissfully was able to spend a day shopping in the mall. I looked like a woman sure, but there was always a missing piece to the puzzle somehow.
Have have mentioned several times about that time I actually knew three or four transsexual women. I was fortunate enough to have an up close and personal look at why someone would desire to undergo SRS or not.
One of the trans women was a married engineer and was easily one of the most feminine women I had ever met- a natural, you might say. Her wife knew all of what was to happen, they had an amicable divorce and after the operation, the person actually continued her engineering career out West and got remarried to a man.
Another had already gone through all the operations and was leading a successful life as a woman but for some reason, was just "passing through" and I knew her for the briefest time. But, speaking of passing, she would visit me at my restaurant in Columbus at the time and my crew wondered who the tall woman was I "might" be cheating on my wife with.
Another was also a very feminine cross dresser when I met her, a low key attractive classy cross dresser who did decide to opt for SRS. Never knew much about her.
Finally there was the worst example of all.
Out of the four, I knew her the longest and had watch her go through the stages of cross dresser, HRT, electrolysis, etc. She was always the one in the room who had every feminine detail covered, even down to a set of false feminine teeth she wore over her real teeth. Always, every inch the society woman but never quite the "woman" at all. She never quite seemed to get the essence of the gender as the other three did. She rushed ahead though and bought her new car (vagina) and seemed to tire of it real quickly. At that point, what was next? She was now a middle aged woman loosing her looks and struggling to decide which gender she would live with. Although, she only lives 50 some miles away, I have never attempted to make contact and I do hope she is happy!
My point is, back in the day when passing was everything, seemingly the best shortcut to achieving one's dream was SRS. The fact remained though that no amount of surgery could help some of the trans women who went through the process. I briefly chatted a couple of times with a person not so far away who had went through SRS, facial feminization I think twice and then just had to have butt implants. Really?
Maybe that's why so many of these women on all the "Housewives's Of---" Shows do look like drag queens? (In fact "Andrea" of the Housewives of Melbourne looks a lot like my final example.) Think of it this way. We are fairly sure all of these women have had their "cars" for awhile but now need constant exterior upgrades. My cross dressing friend extraordinaire always had an easy time of being the best of the CD's in room-but I always wondered if she tried to ever really play in the big girls sandbox. Hell, Andrea could be her!
So when I get blasted by a bitter "true transsexual" or whatever she happens to be calling herself at the time, I just hope she didn't just get caught up in all her own ideas or rhetoric and "jumped too fast."
The world has changed - she can't and it's sad.
Have have mentioned several times about that time I actually knew three or four transsexual women. I was fortunate enough to have an up close and personal look at why someone would desire to undergo SRS or not.
One of the trans women was a married engineer and was easily one of the most feminine women I had ever met- a natural, you might say. Her wife knew all of what was to happen, they had an amicable divorce and after the operation, the person actually continued her engineering career out West and got remarried to a man.
Another had already gone through all the operations and was leading a successful life as a woman but for some reason, was just "passing through" and I knew her for the briefest time. But, speaking of passing, she would visit me at my restaurant in Columbus at the time and my crew wondered who the tall woman was I "might" be cheating on my wife with.
Another was also a very feminine cross dresser when I met her, a low key attractive classy cross dresser who did decide to opt for SRS. Never knew much about her.
Finally there was the worst example of all.
Out of the four, I knew her the longest and had watch her go through the stages of cross dresser, HRT, electrolysis, etc. She was always the one in the room who had every feminine detail covered, even down to a set of false feminine teeth she wore over her real teeth. Always, every inch the society woman but never quite the "woman" at all. She never quite seemed to get the essence of the gender as the other three did. She rushed ahead though and bought her new car (vagina) and seemed to tire of it real quickly. At that point, what was next? She was now a middle aged woman loosing her looks and struggling to decide which gender she would live with. Although, she only lives 50 some miles away, I have never attempted to make contact and I do hope she is happy!
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| "Andrea" Housewives of Melbourne-drag queen? |
My point is, back in the day when passing was everything, seemingly the best shortcut to achieving one's dream was SRS. The fact remained though that no amount of surgery could help some of the trans women who went through the process. I briefly chatted a couple of times with a person not so far away who had went through SRS, facial feminization I think twice and then just had to have butt implants. Really?
Maybe that's why so many of these women on all the "Housewives's Of---" Shows do look like drag queens? (In fact "Andrea" of the Housewives of Melbourne looks a lot like my final example.) Think of it this way. We are fairly sure all of these women have had their "cars" for awhile but now need constant exterior upgrades. My cross dressing friend extraordinaire always had an easy time of being the best of the CD's in room-but I always wondered if she tried to ever really play in the big girls sandbox. Hell, Andrea could be her!
So when I get blasted by a bitter "true transsexual" or whatever she happens to be calling herself at the time, I just hope she didn't just get caught up in all her own ideas or rhetoric and "jumped too fast."
The world has changed - she can't and it's sad.
"Stealth" in the Day
Paula Goodwin commented about our Cyrsti's Condo "Stealth in the Day" discussion recently:
Accepting the risk of upsetting a least somebody.... surely going stealth in the 60s, 70s and 80s was very much a feminist issue, if somebody was to be accepted as a woman then there were very few opportunities to be any type of woman other than the "little woman", the house wife / mother type. We now are developing fresh ideas of what it can mean to be a woman, and being trans is one of those types f woman it is increasingly acceptable to be.
Having said all that I am not a great fan of tee shirts with slogans on the so I will not be buying one that says "HEY I'M TRANS" if asked I will now always admit to who and what I am, after all I now accept that there is nothing wrong with who and what I am, but I see no reason why I should shout it from the roof tops.
and Pat:
Even though the jargon of our times during the 60s was about tolerance and acceptance (If it feels good, do it...Whatever floats your boat...Let it all hang out...etc) the idea of acceptance of T folks back then was miles away from where it is today. Back then passing was primary and going stealth was as much a matter of survival as choice. We've come a long way baby.
Paula, I know you know by now the idea of "tip toeing" around all the various "special interest" groups in our community is impossible. In fact, in the past I have been criticized for even using the word community or "culture" to describe say, transgender women and cross dressers. I'm in a good mood, so I'm not going to even mention the so called true transsexuals, who anoint themselves with that label and SHOULD go stealth.
Indeed, back in those days, passing in society was almost the only was to survive and yes SRS was the quickest route to it. (If it worked) Yes, we have come a long long way- which we will discuss more in depth in a later post!
Accepting the risk of upsetting a least somebody.... surely going stealth in the 60s, 70s and 80s was very much a feminist issue, if somebody was to be accepted as a woman then there were very few opportunities to be any type of woman other than the "little woman", the house wife / mother type. We now are developing fresh ideas of what it can mean to be a woman, and being trans is one of those types f woman it is increasingly acceptable to be.
Having said all that I am not a great fan of tee shirts with slogans on the so I will not be buying one that says "HEY I'M TRANS" if asked I will now always admit to who and what I am, after all I now accept that there is nothing wrong with who and what I am, but I see no reason why I should shout it from the roof tops.
I agree Paula about the "Hey I'm Trans Shirt." The closest I came is the transgender vet shirt I wore to Pride this summer in Columbus which said "I fought for the rights you deny me." And I do have a neat Trans necklace!
and Pat:
Even though the jargon of our times during the 60s was about tolerance and acceptance (If it feels good, do it...Whatever floats your boat...Let it all hang out...etc) the idea of acceptance of T folks back then was miles away from where it is today. Back then passing was primary and going stealth was as much a matter of survival as choice. We've come a long way baby.
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| Unnamed Cross Dresser Bringking Back Memories of Ruining Hose! |
Indeed, back in those days, passing in society was almost the only was to survive and yes SRS was the quickest route to it. (If it worked) Yes, we have come a long long way- which we will discuss more in depth in a later post!
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
"Momma" in the Kitchen!
My mother fit the stereotype of long dresses and high heels all the time, back when I was a kid...I can remember helping in the kitchen on the holidays, and her heels clicked as she walked back and forth... Now that she's in a nursing home, no more heels, and no more dresses. In fact, the only one she has there, is the hot pink number I posted about earlier...that I probably could borrow if I lost some weight.
I remember reading articles in some mainstream magazines about Dr. Biber, but from the 80's, not the 70's. Wish I had kept the magazines...but they went away, for obvious reasons. Nowadays, every time I go through Trinidad, CO on the train, my thoughts turn to him...and the new girls he "minted", many of whom traveled on the Amtrak train, due to its convenience (no other public transportation nearby.) Kinda distracts me for a while.
And lastly...it's a good thing we bought our new Ford a year ago...because for some odd reason, in the future, I won't be able to "un-learn" Oprah's comment about "buying a new car." Never heard it before...and it's unforgettable. Not gonna happen! LMAO!
Cheers!
Mandy
I remember reading articles in some mainstream magazines about Dr. Biber, but from the 80's, not the 70's. Wish I had kept the magazines...but they went away, for obvious reasons. Nowadays, every time I go through Trinidad, CO on the train, my thoughts turn to him...and the new girls he "minted", many of whom traveled on the Amtrak train, due to its convenience (no other public transportation nearby.) Kinda distracts me for a while.
And lastly...it's a good thing we bought our new Ford a year ago...because for some odd reason, in the future, I won't be able to "un-learn" Oprah's comment about "buying a new car." Never heard it before...and it's unforgettable. Not gonna happen! LMAO!
Cheers!
Mandy
Ok Mandy, I have to ask- can you buy used parts? :)
(Unnamed cross dresser in picture!)
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| Hmmmn, I don't think this was exactly what I ordered for my car in the mail? |
The Week That Is!!!
I just wanted to pass along, I have a tremendously wonderful backlog of ideas from several of you here in Cyrsti's Condo I need to respond to.
This week though, I have one very demanding event this weekend I do with my family which is what I call a "time sucker." If you are quiet, you will hear it!
So, if I haven't been able to respond to your comments, it's not because I don't 'luv ya', it's just because I am going to need a few 48 hr days this week!
I found a picture (not of me thank the Goddess) of how I will feel by Monday...I call it "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
I am definitely not as young as the cross dresser in this pose and if it was me, I would have an embarrassing trip to the emergency room!
This week though, I have one very demanding event this weekend I do with my family which is what I call a "time sucker." If you are quiet, you will hear it!So, if I haven't been able to respond to your comments, it's not because I don't 'luv ya', it's just because I am going to need a few 48 hr days this week!
I found a picture (not of me thank the Goddess) of how I will feel by Monday...I call it "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
I am definitely not as young as the cross dresser in this pose and if it was me, I would have an embarrassing trip to the emergency room!
It Is a Woman's World
This post is actually just a compilation of thoughts. First of all, an extension of the woman in the bright yellow Camaro convertible, with the matching hat driving past me with the top down (not hers) Saturday. The differing gender reactions to her presented a classic look at how the male/female binaries work.
First of all, I'm going to assume the couples I saw were men and women not just males and females.
Many of the first lessons I learned in the girl's sandbox came on how you had to learn to relay on your senses to survive and even thrive. Communication was the biggest change for me. My entire life, I knew what a woman wasn't telling me, carried the most weight and I had to learn now a new world of glances, innuendos and body language.
Quickly I put together a checklist of how women were viewing me in my the early days out of the closet as a cross dresser. You may remember them from here in Cyrsti's Condo, or Stilettos on Thin Ice. Here are the basics of what I looked for:
As far as our girl in the yellow convertible, I'm pretty sure all the women I saw glaring at her first and then their male companions, but her in #5. I'm also pretty sure the woman didn't really care!
First of all, I'm going to assume the couples I saw were men and women not just males and females.
Many of the first lessons I learned in the girl's sandbox came on how you had to learn to relay on your senses to survive and even thrive. Communication was the biggest change for me. My entire life, I knew what a woman wasn't telling me, carried the most weight and I had to learn now a new world of glances, innuendos and body language.
Quickly I put together a checklist of how women were viewing me in my the early days out of the closet as a cross dresser. You may remember them from here in Cyrsti's Condo, or Stilettos on Thin Ice. Here are the basics of what I looked for:
- No look at all, or looked right through me. I figured I passed as feminine because women don't miss much from other women.
- The "head to toe" look. The "other woman" made no secret of checking every inch of me out. She knew something might be amiss with the gender picture she was seeing. But she didn't seem to be sure, and most of the time, I was satisfied with that!
- The little "smile". This was a tough one for me because to many women, this is an accepted "inter-gender" greeting and not nasty.
- The little smirk. She thought she was cool because she was in on my "secret".
- The "slut" look. I knew I had gone way over the top in the outfit I was trying to pull off, and so did all the other women. There are a group of women though who live in this group who have very few female friends and need men to compliment their ego. (another post)
- The run, whisper and point female. She just had to get to her nearest companion, point at me, whisper in a ear and laugh. UGLY!
As far as our girl in the yellow convertible, I'm pretty sure all the women I saw glaring at her first and then their male companions, but her in #5. I'm also pretty sure the woman didn't really care!
Monday, August 25, 2014
Just A Girl and Her Car?
I received several thought provoking comments about the Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day" post about the woman I saw in a bright yellow Camaro convertible heading down the the street with her matching visor cap. One from Pat: I think that in many ways men and women relate to their cars differently. For my wife she needs a car that provides a sense of comfort and security. Good old reliable, never fail, transportation.
Plus a couple others I agreed with- mentioned she probably had her matching tennis shoes and bag to complete the outfit also!
Certainly, men and women do relate to their cars different. Right or wrong, back in the day, most guys of my age were fairly certain a cool car was a necessity for dating a cool girl. It seemed to work, but since I never achieved the "cool" guy or girl status- who knows.
I am a big believer though since females are the birth gender of the species, they have the opportunity to experience a more layered existence. If and when they grow into women, no - a car, a boat, a jet ski or a yacht is not the center of their universe. But, a man with any or all of the toys I mentioned, just may be worth sneaking a peak at.
I am going to assume the person in the car was a woman (not a female) and was doing everything right if she was flipping the courting ritual (and she was.) First and foremost, the color of the car and her hair (blond) were attention getters, then add in the make and model of the car and the end result was- men watched and women hated.
You could just see the "bitch, slut and whore" look of disdain in their eyes, before they turned around and saw their hubbies drooling.
How did I feel? It's cool to be transgender. I had a fairly decent sense of why each side felt the way they did. Both genders are hard wired certain ways and women do have more wires-by nature. If a transgender man or woman has spent any length of time as their birth gender, they work long and hard to get a new system of wires connected.
From a simple car quote, I had no idea this idea could go as far as it did-plus it could go so much farther.
I can only say that this girl at this age looks for lots of security and adequate comfort in her car - to go have fun!
Plus a couple others I agreed with- mentioned she probably had her matching tennis shoes and bag to complete the outfit also!
Certainly, men and women do relate to their cars different. Right or wrong, back in the day, most guys of my age were fairly certain a cool car was a necessity for dating a cool girl. It seemed to work, but since I never achieved the "cool" guy or girl status- who knows.
I am a big believer though since females are the birth gender of the species, they have the opportunity to experience a more layered existence. If and when they grow into women, no - a car, a boat, a jet ski or a yacht is not the center of their universe. But, a man with any or all of the toys I mentioned, just may be worth sneaking a peak at.
I am going to assume the person in the car was a woman (not a female) and was doing everything right if she was flipping the courting ritual (and she was.) First and foremost, the color of the car and her hair (blond) were attention getters, then add in the make and model of the car and the end result was- men watched and women hated.
You could just see the "bitch, slut and whore" look of disdain in their eyes, before they turned around and saw their hubbies drooling.
How did I feel? It's cool to be transgender. I had a fairly decent sense of why each side felt the way they did. Both genders are hard wired certain ways and women do have more wires-by nature. If a transgender man or woman has spent any length of time as their birth gender, they work long and hard to get a new system of wires connected.
From a simple car quote, I had no idea this idea could go as far as it did-plus it could go so much farther.
I can only say that this girl at this age looks for lots of security and adequate comfort in her car - to go have fun!
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