"Culture Clash"

"You are dressed."  These are the three simple words uttered by a gay boy in a bar Liz and I were in Saturday night.  "You are dressed."

What a simple passive aggressive ignorant gay cis male statement!  Liz and I actually hadn't seen each other in person for a space in time because of any number of logistical problems.  We just wanted to be left alone in one of few venues I will even considering going to in my home town.

We ordered a pizza and were doing just that until he comes, resplendent in his tight white T-shirt and bright yellow short shorts-literally "flitting" around the room.  The first time he said it, I just glared and said, "So are you."  The second time he said it, I must have made my point and looked so hostile - he floated away in his yellow shorts. Briefly, I regressed into his stupid world and thought, "You need smacked for talking smack, you little bitch."  But you can't cure gay as much as you can't cure stupid.

So-  I found this on Pinterest which describes my feelings exactly!  I need to constantly remind myself that ignorance is not confined to any one segment of humans.  Regardless of race, gender and sexuality.  No one has a corner on it.

Gay, lesbian, cross dresser, transgender, transsexual or straight- no one.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk"!!!! Another Sunday is here in the Condo and time for yet another weekly recap!  The "Joe" is brewing so enjoy the aroma of your first cup of coffee and lets get started.

Page 1.- "Missy I'm Home!  I wrote all week long about the coming out process with my deceased wife's sister Missy.  I have always felt if you have the option to control how you are able to come out to someone, two stages are best.  Stage one, you tell someone and stage two you show someone.  Stage two was yesterday.  Even though my partner Liz was with me, I still felt a high level of trepidation going into the meeting.  Like everything else in life, the fear of the unknown is most of the time worse than the actual experience.

Liz and I stayed and visited for a couple hours and the whole experience was pleasurable.  Missy is one of three or four people I have come out to that I have known forever (daughter, son-in-law, etc) and the only one I have felt totally at ease doing it when I finally did.  I did have fun harassing her about using my "given" male name and by the time we left she had adjusted admirably. The whole experience was a huge success! Sadly, the list of people I have at my age (64) to come out to in either stage has shrunk so dramatically by death.  I can count them on one hand.

"Anson Mount"

Page 2.- "Trans-Crush!"  Ever watch the series on the AMC Network (who also produced "Breaking  Bad" called "Hell on Wheels?"   The new season started this weekend and the channel did a "marathon" of all past shows.  After viewing my fair share of the old episodes I learned two things: I loved them all and I would have Anson Mount's children!

"Aleshia Brevard"

Page 3.- We Got Mail!  We did a 'remember" post on a trans woman pioneer who is often forgotten by the name of Aleshia Brevard who was actually the first mtf transsexual in prime time television.  As luck would have it, Sally Bend who stops by the Condo, has actually corresponded with her and said:

I actually just got a review copy of her first book, THE WOMAN I WAS NOT BORN TO BE, last week. Had a chance to briefly chat with her via email as well, and she was so incredibly sweet.

Thanks Sally!



Page 4.- The back Page.  All too soon it's time to bid all of you a fond farewell!  As always, thanks for taking a bit of your precious time to stop by Cyrsti's Condo!  Have a great week! 

Memories.

"Back in the ancient" dark ages before the internet and YouTube, all I had to occasionally find a connection to anything close to what I was feeling were in Dad's extensive collection of old Playboy magazines.  Of course, unlike my friends, I really wasn't into the pictures, I was looking for "cartoons" such as this:

"Trans-Vergence"

Tomorrow is yet another day which I call "Trans vergence" - my partner Liz and I are heading across town to meet my deceased wife's sister - Missy.

No "male drag" this time- just us.

Is there a big deal? Yes.  Of course there is some sort of shock wave when a person who has known you only in one gender, sees you for the first time in another. So, that is yes- it is a big deal. Plus, in the slim chance she doesn't accept who I am-it's a big deal because I have no problem with leaving her behind in my life.

Sure, I may seem like a total bitch ( and I do allow grace periods for my transition to sink in) but I am not now and never were the person they interacted with.

The other dynamic to consider is Liz herself.  When she is with me, she opens doors with other people I don't think she ever realizes.  In other words, her complete acceptance of me as a transgender woman shows others the path to follow.

Ironically, the true dynamic will probably be how nervous Missy will be to meet Liz at all.  As I have written here in the Condo, I have a couple other ex's involved relatively closely with all of this tomorrow, although one is in an urn on a shelf.  The other still lives about six blocks down the street (she won't be there.)

At the least, Missy didn't ask me why she "was the last to know" like my daughter did.

The one consistent to all of this is, all of them being women, they just can't wait to see what Liz is all about - and vice versa. I can't say, sometimes it's not interesting  to watch them!

A Cyrsti's Condo "Shakespearean" Moment

Blame Pat, she got me started on this...


To Be or Not to be-Leaving the house cross dressed!

The Generational Transgender Gap?

As "Momma Karma" loves to do, on occasion, she gives me transgender comparisons on the same day and sits back and sees if I can grasp them. Yesterday was one of the rare occasions I did.

Here in Cyrsti's Condo, we posted the story of Robina Asti, who, in her 90's won a battle with Social Security over survivor benefits from her genetic male spouse she married after she legally became a woman-. Robina was a U.S. Navy combat pilot in WWII, transitioned at 55 and is now 93. (She still flys!)

At the other end of the age spectrum, at approximately the same time I was writing the post, I was doing a bit of rare multi tasking. To make ends meet on my Social Security, I sell a few vintage collectibles on a site called Etsy and on Ebay - plus I make a pittance on the ad's you see here in the Condo.  To keep my hyper active-easily bored noggin interested, I was taking a look at my "TruNorth Pickers" Etsy Shop and happened upon another shop which was looking for "transgender" items.  Of course, I immediately messaged the woman who was listed as the owner and asked her what trans items she was looking for, since I am a transgender woman.

Her rapid answer was, she wasn't 18 yet and her and her Mom had started a Etsy Shop (free) - and she was born female but she has a Mtf friend who is transitioning.  The awwwwh! moment came when she said Mom keeps real close track of her (good) but Mom supports her and her friend (better!) and they were looking for something pretty for her(the friend). The bad news came when she said she cross dresses as a boy and runs into quite a few haters. I just said haters just hated themselves inside and were jealous she was living her life to her standards and time was on her side!

We exchanged several messages, as even I had to get focused again on my day.  I felt really bad though when she said if I needed to talk I knew where she was.  I thought "Hey! shouldn't that be my line?"  But, I knew it couldn't because I always think "imparting excess info" on the young just conjures up "old fogy" - plus I didn't want her and her Mom to think I could be yet another internet slime ball.

So, in the space of an hour yesterday, I went from a pre-18 year old Ftm cross dresser to a 93 year old transgender woman battling for what was hers anyhow.

Isn't the internet grand?

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Is It Ever Really Too Late?

I have made no secret over the past several years of how more than a couple times, I have been called anything from transgender "pretender" to "just another old guy on hormones." Because of course, I didn't Mtf transition until later in life.

At any rate..read on about another transgender "pretender"  Robina Asti.  The story comes from People Magazine:

In the Navy during World War II, Robert Astey flew combat missions, and later became a commercial pilot, a mutual fund senior vice president, as well as a husband and father to three children. 

Then at age 55 he began a transition to living as a woman, renamed Robina Asti, and was soon legally recognized as female. Today, at age 93, after a "glorious romance" with a the husband she met in 1980, she has become something else – a trailblazer, having won a victory that makes it much easier for transgender spouses to get Social Security survivor benefits. 

The Naval lieutenant (who still pilots aircraft) says she never set out to be a pioneer. But that's how she's been hailed by the legal team that helped Asti launch the challenge to win her husband Norwood Patton's survivor benefits that she believed were rightfully hers following his death in 2012. 

I guess just "another old guy on hormones" did make a difference! Even though the whole time she was just a pretender!

LOVE THIS!

If we are ever fortunate enough  to meet...

This is me!