Swimming With the Transgender Current!

Much of the time, I have referred to my journey into trans womanhood as a "path". Not fitting neatly into the crossdresser or transsexual mode has  provided a unique perceptive look at the world.
Maybe the path wasn't concrete at all. Maybe I can compare it to a river.  I threw my transgendered self into the current -to sink or swim.
Every once in a while a bit of news comes along which makes me think I'm not headed towards "Niagara Falls" in a barrel.
From "The San Fransisco Chronicle" comes the story of perhaps the first transgendered mainstream romance novel:

Chances at Romance announces the publication of perhaps the first mainstream romance novel with a transgendered heroine. "Two Spirit Ranch" explores when love is challenged by a rugged sheriff's preconceived notion about gender and the heroine's fear of not being loved for the woman she is.
After a year of unprecedented publicity regarding transgender issues in the entertainment and political worlds, the book, written by Jaime Stryker, hopes to give an unconventional twist to a conventional tale. Stryker, who is a longtime fan of the genre, says, "Popular art reflects culture, and the past year brought transgender issues to the forefront. It was simply time for a romance novel that also touched upon gender issues."
The title delves into the fact that some Native American tribe members could assume the identity of the opposite gender and still be accepted and respected by their community. "Many of the native peoples believed a spectrum of gender identities was part of nature's diversity." Stryker goes on to say, "When European colonization started to dominate the region rigid gender roles became the norm."

Here is information on the book if you are interested:
Two Spirit Ranch: A Romance
Author: Jaime Stryker
ISBN: 978-0615593302
Retail: Available from most online book retailers, including Amazon, e-bookstores, or on order from your local bookstore.
Wholesale: CreateSpace Direct


Maybe I won't have to be such a good swimmer after all!
On another level, a novel such as this touches on relationships with men and transwomen we have discussed more than a couple times.(Damn Transvestite Home Wreckers!) 
around the condo.

Overthinking Again!

My doctor's appointment today started the same as any other.
Worry what to wear, hurry to get there-to wait.
Wait I did. Long enough to actually attempt to read a couple "People's" magazines cover to cover.
Finally the Doctor showed up in his bright white coat.
Quick and to the point he asked about my progress and I told him. He then asked if I expereinced any "side effects" and I said no negative ones and I simply "loved the process" so far.
He said wonderful. Let's double your estrogen! Maybe he read my last post?
So I'm the proud possessor of 6 months worth of estrogen and spiro to block that nasty testosterone plus a six month reprieve from the doc!
Life is good!

Trans Fantasy?

It is time for a check up with my hormone doctor today. My primary doc at the Veteran Administration has and will honor the prescriptions the hormone doctor writes. Not a perfect world, but one that works so far.
Here's my fantasy, what if the doc today asks me if I want to up the dosage? What if I ask him for permission?
"Changes" I have felt so far have centered around emotions and breasts.
If you follow my "tweets" here, last night was the first time in my life I almost started to cry from an external source not close to me!
I also am experiencing growth in my breasts under the arms and have started to notice more of a gentle slope from my upper body to the nipple.
I won't lie and say I don't really love all of this. I do and have waited so long.
I also can't lie and say if the process was accelerated I wouldn't be disappointed.
My dilemma is I have rather enjoyed the progress in a very short period of time. (less than a month). So do I mess with a good thing or attempt to make it better?
The appointment is in two hours and I can truthfully say I don't know how to answer the question- so I will play it by ear and listen to what the doc says.
At least in this case, a "no decision" won't be a bad one so I should walking into a "win-win" situation.

Damn Transvestite Homewreckers!

From "Asiaone News"
"Transvestites have become a new threat to the marriage institution, with sex-change surgeries becoming more affordable to men who want to look like beautiful, alluring women, Metro Ahad reported.
Former Islamic Development Department of Malaysia (Jakim) family, social and community assistant director Zawiyah Hassan told the daily an increasing number of mak nyah are flirting with married men without fear of society's backlash.
Zawiyah said it was not surprising to hear of straight men leaving their wives or girlfriends to have affairs with these transvestites, who are said to be more tender, loving and caring in their ways than normal women.
The daily said it now costs RM70,000 for a whole package deal while it used to cost about RM100,000 for either just a sex operation or a breast implant."
 I'm biased but could it be the "the more tender, loving and caring in their ways than normal women" had any impact on these men?
I've always said being female does not make you a woman!

Mak Nyah Sial

Transgenderism: Disorder or Destiny

Some feel if you don't feel totally sure you are not living your life in your chosen gender at an very early age, somehow you are a transgendered impostor.
Some feel your feminist is measured somehow by the number of operations or the amount of hormones you have taken.
Only you know for sure what gender you identify with or the one you think you identify with.
In my case I thought I knew I wanted to be a girl but I didn't dare wish it was possible. Being part of a family with WWII /depression age parents didn't make life any easier. My situation was so completely different from some of the family stories I read about today, I can't even imagine it
So I guess you can say my slow transition in life was destiny. In a sense, the process wasn't so much "the farther I went-the more I needed". It was "the more I loved it".
As I write this I can say this is the first night I have experienced some soreness in my breasts and it is the first time in my life I have liked soreness!
The best part of destiny is a greater appreciation of the changes I'm going through.
So I guess I'm guilty of not being sure I wanted to be female at the age of 6. I'm also guilty of not assuming my genitalia determines my gender.  Even if I ever go for sex change surgery (or not) an operation will not determine my inner gender.
Gender disorder or destiny does not really matter if we become at peace with ourselves and others!

Internalizing the "She".

OK, I'm going to admit to you I do a lot of talking to myself.
If you read the blog much that will not surprise you I know!
A couple days ago I discovered myself self making a HUGE mistake. I was internally using the male pronoun "he" with myself. 
Here's an example. I'm a great believer in internal motivation but I started to catch myself in something like "boy let's get to it" not "come on girl!"
Sometimes it seems this entire transgendered path is filled with obvious gender holes to fill- not unlike a new video game.
Once you are pretty sure you have most of the process together, here comes talking yourself as a guy???
My excuse is I'm into changing another lifelong process and some would argue I should have acted on it long ago. I am not even going down that rant!

The fun part is answering myself and you know what that means!!!!!!

Vote For Pejic!

Such a shame I have politics on the brain already.  The Republic primaries and the very beginning of the ton of anti-Obama ads we will see heading to the presidential election have gotten my attention.
The campaign I'm writing about is yet another modeling coup for Andrej Pejic. The video I'm passing along is mainly in French (I so am bad at French) but I can tell you Pejic is supposedly ready to sign a major mainstream perfume contract. Wouldn't it be fun to see him on mainstream television ads? Would some of the girl scouts and the legislator in Tennessee boycott their product?
Sorry, I had to go there. Here is the video:

Trans Woman Appointed in Columbia

Tatiana Pinero

From "Columbia Reports"  comes a very positive story!


"Bogota's mayor has appointed the capital's first transgender public official, as director of corporate management in the city's Social Integration Department.
In an interview with El Espectador, newly-appointed director Tatiana Piñero expressed her admiration for Bogota's new Mayor Gustavo Petro, and his support for LGBT issues.
Piñero described Petro as "a person who recognizes diversity, who respects and values people for their work, and not whether they are African, LGBT or indigenous."
The department in which she is taking up her position is described as responsible for the development and implementation of social policies which guarantee citizens of Bogota "the ability to exercise their rights, in conditions of equality."
Terrific!

The Small Things in a Transgendered Life.

Didn't seem possible but today was time to call in my first estrogen and Spiro refills..
Of course I took a bit of more time to reflect on what changes occurred during  my first month on HRT. (Jan 30)
Previously, I have mentioned a couple real changes in my overall personality plus a new sensitivity in my breast area.
Overall I have been quite a bit more mellow for whatever reason-until this morning.
I just had this unreasonable paranoia this morning that for some reason the VA wouldn't refill my meds. When the automated system said yes the meds were refillable and on their way, I first felt relief then a real sense of satisfaction. I really was doing all of this and it is not a dream I will wake to some day.
Today was also fun when I discovered I could actually tie my hair back into a "itty bitty" pony tail for the first time in my life.
The only drawback was when I noticed I was ditzing out and taking half of the "Spiro" that was prescribed. If you didn't know, "Spiro" is essentially a blood pressure medicine that reduces or "blocks" testosterone.
Being the math genius I am, I saw I had twice as much of one prescription left as the other. Both were filled at the same time for one month. DUH!
Perhaps I would have seen a bit more changes?
At any rate, the past is the past and the present feels pretty good right now!
I go to the Doc again on Wednesday, so we will see how that goes.