Maybe It Does Get Easier?

I agonized all day long before I called the recommended physician who would work with me on administering hormones.
I finally summoned all my courage and made the call.
Of course the first thing that happened was that I was on a lengthy hold. (It seemed like hours!)
A totally frazzled receptionist finally answered my call and I found  all my worry was wasted effort.
I nervously told her I was a male to female transgender person and had been referred to the doctor by my psychologist.
She was great.  She calmly asked me if my interest was in hormones and how far along was I in my transition process. I calmed down and told her all I could.
As she asked about how I was planning to pay and other questions, she mentioned an appointment was in limbo for a short time as the doctor's whole practice was changing.
It turns out the practice is changing from family based care to one totally based on transgender, gay and lesbian health care. In fact the doctor has been so busy he is adding a partner.
Once again I witnessed how different I'm not. The transgendered population is opening the door and exploring life in their chosen gender!
The best part was how she explained how closely the doctors would work with me on the hormone program!
I really need to stop worrying so much and get on with life.

Keeping the Door Open!

On the way down the hall with my psychologist, she spoke briefly of the strides transgendered vets such as I have started to make in good old "conservative" Ohio. Some of the other professionals at the center it seems are starting to "reach out" to other gender experts in the community for advice.
She also mentioned some of the directives within the VA and the military itself concerning gay and transgendered vets as positive changes. Then added she hoped the new thinking would continue. However,
I have mentioned she said no doctor in this clinic would consider dispensing hormones but there could be other altrnatives she was checking into.
When and if any of these alternatives actually materialize, I will pass them along.
In the meantime, I'm happy to be able to help any other transgendered sisters or brothers walk through the same doors I did. By all indications there haven't been many or any before me.
I'm sure all of us know trangendered men and women seem to always be the last to benefit from advances; after the gay and lesbian community.  We have to work harder to make more of our opportunities.
The most important point she made is we all have to keep these doors open to make the most of the future.

Transgender Before And After Picture

Be Careful What You Hope For!

Or I could title this post "You Can't Always Get What You Want...But If You Try Sometimes You Get What You Need!'
Today I did. I got my recommendation letter from my psychologist to begin female hormone therapy! I tried, I wanted and I got what I needed. Wow! As recently as a couple of years ago the path I'm taking seemed like an impossible dream. Perhaps a dream I didn't want to pursue.
As pieces of paper go this is a very big one in my life. This paper ranks up there with the college diploma and such.
As I leaned over her shoulder to look at the letter on the computer, several of the most beautiful pronouns in the English language jumped out at me. The pronoun of course was she. The sentence went something like this: Cyrsti is in a transitory period and I have been seeing her for the past several months. She is interested in hormone therapy to continue her transition.
Several hours later when my feet touched the ground again I began to think this was just the beginning...again.
From the first time I slid my Mom's hose over my legs and squeezed into her bra to this point in my life was one giant twisting journey.
Doesn't seem possible but I'm doing it again!
I would like to thank all of you who have been following this and on occasion reach out to me with your thoughts! It means a lot!

Power Move...Female Style

Think of what most all women do when they talk to each other or to guys. Think of the power of  body language over words.
Think of a woman crossing her legs. A girl is taught at a young age the proper way to sit in a dress or skirt. You see it all the time when women sit across from each other to talk.
I believe in "mirroring" others in conversation. I've seen other women cross their legs after I did as we talked. As a side thought, I believe my posture is more feminine when I cross my legs.
Truthfully I didn't worry about it when I was wearing jeans or pants of some sort but I do now.
Now lets bring guys into the equation.  I grew up in my adolescent years watching mini skirted girls in my classes trying to sit properly and showing an ample amount of thigh. Surely they knew of the angst they were causing!
Or how about the long legged girl friend I had who used the long high slow leg cross in my car so she didn't ruin her panty hose with a run or two.
I learned well the power of a leg cross then and are just staring to discover it again. Actually all of it is beginning to be rather matter of fact to me...except on occasions such as Saturday night.
My friend and I were sitting on a long bench when another couple sat down next to us. The man actually sat next to me. The space was rather limited and as I adjusted to the new seating space I did the slow high leg cross that captivated me so many years before. Truthfully, it was the only way I could.  Well, it certainly captivated him too as he nearly broke his neck to check my legs as his wife's back was turned to him.
OK, I'm a little slow. I'm a woman in a black mini, 4 in heels and fishnets. Wouldn't I be a little insulted if he didn't look?
The bigger picture is that both genders look for different reasons. 
Just another one of those crazy gender lessons!

Transgender Mixer?

I have passed along several transgendered experiences from my trip to Newport. Interestingly enough, the Witches Ball itself was the "icing on the cake" so to speak.
The whole experience presented a first in a lifetime challenge. Of course I dressed casually for the drive down to Cincinnati. Jeans, flats, sweater and coat completed my outfit. Then I had to pack my decidedly more upscale outfit for the ball. Black mini, leather look thigh highs, see through top, dark curly hair and the 4" heels I'm still paying for physically! Then I had to pack another change of casual clothes for the trip back the next morning.
Lesson learned. I now have another insight to why women are always have more luggage!
The drive down took about an hour and a half with only one stop at a roadside rest for a soda.
The fun part started upon arriving when my friend and I headed to a close by complex of shops and restaurants overlooking the Ohio River and the Cincinnati skyline. We started with a cup of coffee and girl talk and then headed down to a walking bridge over the river. The day was beautiful
We enjoyed the river for awhile and headed for an interesting antique store we passed by. By this time it was time for a bite to eat before it was time to head back to the hotel and change for the ball.
Proving once again what a good friend she is, there was no protest as we found a sports bar who was showing my Ohio State Buckeyes.  Quite possibly my experience there was my best female time ever.  I was able to order for both of us at the bar find us a seat, eat and watch the game with her without so much of a side glance from anyone. Wow!
We ate, had a few drinks and it was time to head back and get dressed for the ball!
I will save that story for another post and tell you if anyone turned into a pumpkin at midnight!

More "Horror Scope"

Yes friends, it's time for another "horror scope" from "theFrisky":
"You’ve never been one to get too pushy and this isn’t the time to start. However, as another tries to get their way with you, don’t deflect in your normal way, by ignoring and proceeding. No, this time, it’ll take a sleight of hand to judo flip the opposition to your will. So, work your words with precision, as they can bring a powerful sorcery to the game being played now."
Have to say, this one is close again!

Transgender Spanish Actress

A quick look at gorgeous "Bibi Andersen"!

The Primal "Call of the Drums"!

We headed upstairs and followed the sounds of the "Doumbek Drums".  We found a seat on a long padded bench in a room that looked similar to an old English castle room.  I was looking for "King Arthur" in the dimly lit room with the dark wood and stained glass.
We cuddled and watched three belly dancers.  Two were particularly good at balancing big swords on their heads as they danced. As impressive as that was, the combination of the drums (a strong distinctive primal beat) and the sensuality of the women on the floor was really getting into this trans girl's heart and mind!
As time started to fade away more dancers just flowed into the room and actually filled the floor. I was blown away!
As luck would have it, my friend actually is in the process of taking belly dancing lessons and has discussed me joining in.  At first I thought the whole idea was rather far fetched but after seeing the women participate in the passion last night, I sure would love to try!
First off, "belly dancing" had very little to do in describing what I saw.
I witnessed a centuries old revival of the sensuality of women.  In some way the women were bonding with each other in dance; feeding off the sensuality of the others. The dance was yet another side of women I had never seen.
Of course the dream of joining the circle of dance in whatever form may be an impossible dream. Then again, most of what I do with my gender transition these days used to be an impossible dream.
I was incredibly fortunate to be at the right at the right place to experience a form of primal sensuality close up and in person...and the evening wasn't even over!