When Will We Be Able To Call Her Transgendered?

"Male" model Andrej Pejic with her latest fashion coup!
Here's the story:
"The new issue of German magazine Schon! features a gorgeous, blonde
femme fatale, with smoky kohl-lined eyes, long fair hair and ruby red
nails... she’s gorgeous... except she is actually a he!"
Well...maybe?

Costume Idea?

No "Silly Peeps" she is not a pirate wench!!!!!!!

Visiting the Witches Caldron as a Transgender Girl

Before I know it, the "bewtiching" hour will be upon me. A week from now a friend and I will be attending a "Witch's Ball".
As I sit here multi tasking (yes I can) I'm gently picking out one of my favorite wigs I washed today and writing a blog post. Tommorow I'm attacking the costume shops in the area for the perfect look for the evening.
You notice I didn't say costume. This is not a Halloween costume party per se'. I went to the web site and saw participants dressed as witches (duh), pirates and even belly dancers.
In reality my costume choices are limited. The belly dancer idea is intriquing but not really a look I could come up with very easily; leaving the witch or pirate girl idea.
A sexy witch is a posiblity but do I really want to try it in a room full of people who take the practice seriously?
Will I get turned into a black cat? (Just kidding!)
By process of elimination, aaaargh matey! Your pirate wench has arrived! probably will be the way to go.
The fun part of shopping for the outfit will be the accessories! Some sort of short skirt and fishnets will go a long way in showing some leg and a blousy top with a corset style vest may be the safe way out.
The night however will not be an evening to be safe with my outfit! So I will be on the prowl for something exotic to put this pirate wench on display.
Another interesting possibility of the evening is that I could very well be one of the few or only transgender girls there.
I would love to be never recognized as anything but a sexy pirate wench!!! Fun is fun however and what ever happens my friend and I should have a blast!
Maybe I will be able to sail on the pirate ship on Halloween?

No Autographs Please!

My bestest friend told me I could be just dealing in paranoia. (Me???)
The walk from the waiting room to my psychologist's office at the VA Center is quite long.
My first two visits, the halls had been roughly empty.
This time people seemed to be coming out of the woodwork. The people all seemed to be professionals who worked there.
As we made our way into her office, I almost asked my therapist if everyone just happened to know my appointment time and knew the exact moment we were going to walk down that hall to her office.
I didn't because I had more important things to think about and certainly it wasn't the first or last time I have been the center of attention and curiosity.
If indeed the whole incident was a creation of my own paranoia...so be it.
On the other hand, if the staff stopped their day to look at me; it shows how little the particular VA Center I go to knows about transgendered vets.
If that is really the case, I feel good to be the pioneer woman who opens the doors for others.
But REALLY, try not to stare. Come on!

Transitioning Without Hormones?

As I write this post, I wonder how many different directions it can go.
You know I don't often jump into the cat fight between the transsexual and transgendered camps.  I don't have time for the bitterness.
Speaking of bitterness I surfed across a blog that one of you may have seen. Of course I can't seem to back track to where I saw or read it.  The main point of the transgendered woman's post was disagreeing with a "gold star" transsexual view of basically the rest of us poor transgendered "wanna be" women.
The definition of a "gold star" transsexual is a person who assumes the female gender and is absolutely gorgeous. (basically)
Since I fall into the category of the poor downtrodden transgender "wanna be", I started to think of how I really felt about the situation.
I know no matter how long I try and how many hormones I take I will never achieve the "gold star" status. I feel so very fortunate to be able just to interact in the world as a female as much as I do.
Also, when I read or hear a "gold star" put herself up on a lofty pedestal, I always believe somewhere in their male past they always wanted to be really good at something. That something just happened to be a beautiful looking female.  Maybe they are just are the best looking guy in the room. (I've told you in the past I knew someone like that.)
That is just me playing in both sides mud hole and I'm moving on. Life is too short for their petty arguments.
The discussion does raise other personal questions however.
As I have posted in the past, I really wonder where my "internal transition" fits with either group. In response I asked my therapist what she thought. What did she think about my recent subconscious feminine reactions to movies, music. language etc. Obviously without hormones.
My psychologist brought up the "gender cube". Basically, the cube lists nearly 30 different sexual/gender combinations from "straight hetero male" to whatever. When I bypassed the transgendered categories altogether and identified with a masculine feminine female; she simply said I had been burying my true self. My inside self just had never had the need to transition. Just being open to who I really am (I realized) was transitioning without hormones.
By now, you are wondering what point am I trying to make.
Since I am not planning on any radical surgery, will the "gold stars" ever accept me as much of a woman as they are? (Even though I am feeling more and more as one?)
How many of them are still really just guys who became enamored with the pretty girl in the mirror and simply went for more?
Better yet...who cares? I guess sometimes I do!

It Wasn't A Dream When I Woke Up!

Today had to be my best birthday ever!
My third visit to the VA therapist seeking a hormone permission letter was late in the afternoon.
As I got ready to meet my daughter for a birthday breakfast, I received a text from a long time female friend who I have progressively come out to over the past couple months.
She wished me a good birthday and a positive trip to the "Doc" which meant a lot!
My breakfast with my daughter was very different. Almost immediately she asked me if I knew one of the performers in one of the top drag queen acts in the area. They are known as the "Rubi Girls" based out of Dayton, Ohio.
As it turns out I had seen their act (impressive) and actually knew one of the performer's employees.  As surprising as this was, more surprising was the fact I was having the conversation with her at all.  The rest of the breakfast was equally as good and I'm still not sure how I did so well in the daughter department.
On to the therapist appointment.  We exchanged the usual "how's life" questions before I asked the magic question: "what reservations did she have about writing a permission letter?" She didn't hestitate and said she expected the question and pulled a file folder off her desk
The folder contained the "Harry Benjamin Gender Dysphoria Care Standards". As we went through the highlights it seemed I met most all of the criteria. (I'm not exactly sure anyone but Harry understood them all.)
She was very positive and said she would like to take one more step before writing the letter. The step was a final consultation about me with a very experienced gender specialist in Columbus. Ironically she is the same person I went to for help over 20 years ago.
I know "nothing is over until it's over" but I'm causiously optimistic I will have the letter in two weeks at my next visit.
My last (but far from least) stop of the day was a lite dinner date with a GF down in Cincinnati.
Without getting too personal, it was a wonderful ending to a special day.
On the trip home I was going pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming but I have a real aversion to pain and just made sure I wasn't driving up I-75 in a dream. I can guarantee you I-75 between Dayton and Cincinnati, Ohio is no place to be dreaming behind the wheel and I wasn't. The day was all so real and so wonderful!

Transgender Clock Ticking Again

I think I mention this before every return trip to the therapist. "I can't believe two weeks of my life has sped by" and I'm a day away from appointment three.
Obviously my "horrorscope"was completely right about my life moving at the speed of light.
The good thing is for the most part, I'm enjoying the ride!
My upcoming "day with the shrink" is going to interesting and fun for several reasons. I'm starting the day with breakfast with my daughter.  I will be dressed in guy drag but undoubtably the subject of hormones will come up.  My appointment is later in the afternoon. Plenty of time to to get dressed for the occassion. I try to pick out a casual feminine outfit.  My goal is to project a quiet confidence in who I am.
Following the appoitment I'm meeting up with my best gf for coffee and a discussion of our night at the "Witches Ball" we are going to in a couple of weeks. How much fun will that be!!!!!
The way "time flies" I'm sure I will be sharing details of that evening before we know it!

Transgender Backlash?

As "Chaz Bono" whirls and twirls on "Dancing With the Stars". As ABC "Primetime" runs a hour show on transgender adults and kids. As the New York City Fire Department becomes home to it's first transgendered fire fighter; is it a real surprise segments of society in any country are expressing misdirected views and even hate at the trans community.

Beautiful transgendered actresses such as "Candis Cayne" (above) and "Jamie Clayton" (left) are appearing increasingly on mainstream television.
Seemingly we are in an increasingly positive transgender era.
More and more of us are out, proud and successful.
Unfortunately times like these motivate others to become increasingly vocal.  The others are trying to push us back in the shadows and closets.
Fortunately, the closet door has opened and together we can keep it there!

Another "Horror Scope"!!

Libra (September 23- October 22)
"The world will be spinning faster than you’ll know how to handle, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to sit back and just let it all take control. No, this is the time when you have to be the one to bite the bullet and start steering this energy into new directions; you can’t fight fate, but you can play with it properly when need be.
This one gets a big capital OMG!"
It hits what's going on in my life totally!!!!!
As always the "scope" comes from "The Frisky".