Seeing What Isn't There?

Or is it? We do so much with mirrors in a transgendered life. We mirror a gender we weren't born as but feel at piece with.
All of society is a mirror. We are not unique in that aspect. Growing up in our birth gender, most of us tried hard to to mirror what we thought society and families wanted us to be. The problem was the mirror was distorted.
The image it gave us was different than we felt and even different than we really looked. I've mentioned my confusion and frustration with my mirror several times Here is an example from a post I wrote last summer called "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall".
Please tell me I'm the fairest of them all!
On occasion, the mirror does tell me that. Then again, the mirror has been known to fib!
I have always had a struggle with that mean old mirror.
It told more than a thousand times I was beautiful only to be stared and laughed at in the first public venue I visited.
More than once the mirror said "you are plain and unattractive" and I never had a problem.
Before you want to jump to conclusions concerning the mirror's judgment, let me reassure you I passed through "transgendered puberty" years ago. I don't frequent malls and such in a micro mini and 5" heels.
Luckily, before I tossed the mirror into the trash heap , we called a compromise.
I told the mirror what I wanted to achieve and we have been working together to be successful.
My ideal was to be a 40ish, big and curvy girl. (My age and size made that a reality! lol) 45 and 5'10".
No real surprise with any of this. Society is obsessed with self image and males are obsessed with female image.
As transgendered women we struggle many times to show what is there. Our inner female self. Unless you are fortunate enough to have a sympathetic spouse or friend, you are on your own with the mirror. Not an easy task but there are many alternatives.  You may have transgendered support groups in your area that either have makeover parties or recommend places to go. If you are brave enough, go to a department store makeup counters and find a person who will help not just sell you something. I had a friend who had great success with a "Mary Kay" lady.
The important point here is that you are not fooling the mirror or a person, you are becoming the person you were meant to be. It has taken me literally years to get to this point.
One thing is certain. Society's obsession with looks is not going away anytime soon. Our challenge is to let our self image shine through the best we can!

Transgender History 101

This article comes from the "South Florida Gay News"
"The fifth annual Tribeca/ESPN Sports Film Festival will include the world premiere of Renée, a documentary exploring the story of Renée Richards, the first transgender tennis player to compete in the women’s US Open. Directed by Eric Drath, Renée is full of rare archival footage and interviews with close friends and family members -- as well as tennis legends Martina Navratilova, John McEnroe and Billie Jean King – and explores the surprising and affecting human story behind one of America’s first transgender people in the public eye."
Living in the fast moving world as we do, I believe it is important  to remember our "transgendered pioneers."
Dr. Richards was certainly one of them.
If you haven't read her first book, it's a great read about her journey...and inexpensive!

I'm Changing. REALLY Changing!

A former neo-Nazi skinhead has had a change of direction - by changing sex, becoming a nurse and joining a left wing party.

Monika Strub, an ex-member of Germany's neo-Nazi NPD party, is running for Baden-Württemberg's state parliament for the Social Democrats.
She said: "I am not trying to hide my past and I never have done, either from the fact that I was a man or the fact that I was a member of the far right scene - but now I am a different person and I have completely broken ties with the NPD. I am a true socialist."
From the "Orange News"!
Hey, what the biggest change? Gender or Politics?

Pink Boys

I am fascinated by the amount of material coming to light concerning non gender conforming kids. I am envious of the fact these "possibly" transgendered kids are provided a path not even imagined in my generation.
On the other hand, I am so happy for them!
I followed a succession of links to get to this quote:
"Playing chauffeur to both kids, I end up picking up Oscar and uncle on a street-corner outside the mall. As I wait at the curb I find myself studying a tall girl with shoulder length hair in a cinched dark navy coat. Then I experience the shock that so many feel on seeing my willowy, twelve year old boy.
The girl is my boy."
This came from "Accepting Dad". This blog is actually a link from the "Sarah Hoffman" blog "On parenting a boy who is different."
A really positive look on a brighter future for transgendered individuals in the future!

Transgendered Fun?

Had it coming. Do it all the time. Single woman sitting at a bar. A single transgendered woman at that. I'm not that stupid to realize the dynamic has all changed. Single guy at the bar normal-woman target. No problem for me the last couple of years...until this week.
I sat down a couple nights ago in a regular pub I go to.Just wanted to enjoy a night off following a hard weekend of work. Started my usual "girl talk" I value so much with "G" the bartender. Before my beverage had been on the bar for five minutes, here he comes and sits down beside me at a largely unpopulated bar. I looked at "G" and had to decide to stay and fight or run from the look she gave me. She slyly told me this was not his first visit to the pub today and was not necessarily harmful but a load none the less.
I decided to stay and see if I could have a little fun with the guy. He was pretty sure I was out to "pick up" a man or a woman. (as he put it). Which did I prefer if he wasn't getting too personal. I told him he was and wouldn't he really like to know what I preferred to pick up? Case closed. Case opened on problems with spouse. (surprise). After two and half (free) beers I was able to escape his whining when he went to the bathroom. I was gone!
I need to tell you I probably sound like an alcoholic. Here's my disclaimer. My weekend really starts on Monday and winds up on Tuesday. Most of my stories are from those two days. Not in addition to Friday and Saturday. Now, I feel better!
 I stopped one more place to play trivia and listen to classic rock and I thought I was going to go two for two. This man seemed much more reasonable. Dressed well, my age but with a very prominent wedding band. He was playing the "eye" game with me and drinking rather quickly. I felt there was a definite chance he was coming over but he left me to my game and music. I was rejected! Wonderful.
Normally I go with friends on my Tuesday out. Tonight was different, so I went to "two dolla" pint night by myself. Actually went late and got a seat at the bar. Not easy!
Of course (to make my weekend complete) I ended up talking to the guy next to me for two hours. A very pleasant conversation made even more spicy by the fact he mentioned a certain restaurant he opened that I did too! It was a long time ago and of course I made no mention of ever being there.
He was a smoker and took a lot of trips outside to smoke. The law in my part of the world. My favorite "confidante" bar person kept circling out of curiosity. I told her "OMG" he opened the same restaurant with me years ago. I meant it in the sense he could recognize me. Her reaction was essentially was why the problem. What job did I do (as a woman) when it opened. I just need to shut up about ever being a guy! What a idiot I am!
All right, I should be flattered right? You know I am! I guess the new hair is a better look than I ever imagined.
You know I would have to have a problem right? Here it is. What am I going to do about going out to be alone?
Just slap me now!

The Thai Transgender Winner!

The Thai's do it again with the prettiest transgendered women in the world! Check out this transgendered contestant in a talent contest!
Follow this link to see for yourself!
[Photo <http://bit.ly/gNmCv3> ]

Beautiful from the beginning, but the magic really begins at (1:04).

Watch, AFTER THE JUMP...

[Video <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ablNcskmvL4> ]

This is a translation of the judges that was offered in YouTube
comments. If anyone can offer corrections, or a better one, please do:

After the performance:

Judge A: You have been deceiving me all along. It's impossible.

Judge B: He's beautiful, isn't he? (Asks the crowd) I was dumbfounded
when you started the second verse.

Judge C: Initially, I was certain that you were a transexual, but
once you began singing, I was fooled to think that you were female.
After you started the male verse, I should have trusted my gut
feeling.

All judges gave the thumbs up.

Judge C: Continue the deception.


Posted 7:11 PM EST by Andy Towle in Music, News, Thailand, Transgender

Is a female a woman?

Sometime ago I posted an article to "Hub Pages" called "I'm not a crossdresser".
Basically I went into how we all are crossdressers but are not in reality. I know it's complex to me too! In a nutshell some of us do like to just wear women's clothes while others are females mentally.
At any rate, I really touched a nerve of a certain woman who blasted me. That's all good and even fun! She said we were all crossdressers and would never ever be women. She went on to say her husband liked to wear her panties but was "all man".
She must be having problems with that (or just paranoia) because she blasted me again yesterday. We all are crossdressers...blah, blah,blah.
This time I had had enough and said we could never be "female" but we could be women. Sure, sex is between the legs and gender is between the ears but so far a uterus implant is medically impossible.

Maybe she read the story about the former body builder in the UK who now looks likes this:
"Chrisie Edkins " used to weigh 220 pounds when she was a champion weight lifter. Was he all man?
Now, I don't wish any ill will on this women, or her relationship with her husband. Maybe her paranoia is well founded. How many husbands started out (supposedly) just wearing the wife's panties?

Do Not EAT There

http://www.hrc.org/buyersguide2011/ranking.html?category=1221
This is a very interesting link concerning places to eat as well as spend your money!  

It's called "Buying For Workplace Equality 2011".  For example, Bonefish Grill; Carrabba's Italian Grill; Cheeseburger in Paradise; Fleming's Prime Steakhouse; Outback Steakhouse ranked last in the survey.

Places like McDonald's, Chili's, Fridays and Starbucks landed on top. 

I was really happy to see Friday's on the list at the top as I have always been treated extremely well in the stores around my part of the world.

Take a look!

Cyrsti

I

ReRun

Every now and then I like to pull up a post from the dusty old archives.  Since the time it was posted, the blog has gained many more followers and daily visits Thank You!!!
It was titled "Can I Ever Go Home Again?"






If I can quote "Bob Seger's Hollywood Nights" tune-"he knew right then he was too far from home. He was too far from home." Then relate it to losing your male identity, I would. Wait! I just did!
The reason I did quote the song (basically about a beautiful California blond and a Midwestern boy lost in her charms) is that I remember defining moments when I didn't want to go back home to my male self.
I know many of you girls have always known you were just that-a girl. Many of us however, did not have that luxury. I went through the first 30 years or so of my life fighting and giving in to my female urges.
I knew I could never go home happened to me when this Midwestern boy moved to the NYC area.
Within two months, I enjoyed two defining moments that would set my life on a female path.
The first was a trans "mixer" of sorts I attended on Long Island . The real lady at the door wouldn't let me in until I proved I was a guy. "No single real women allowed!"
The second was a Halloween party I attended with a couple friends at work. It just so happened that one of them had two other tall female friends that were dressed as sleazy as me! To this day I remember walking across an intersection in a mini dress and heels WITH 3 other real females. What an evening! The girls insisted I dance with them and even a couple of their boyfriends.
I knew then, I could never go home-even if I did move back to the Midwest.
If I was a betting girl (not) I bet you girls have defining moments too!
I welcome any stories you might have, when you knew you could never go home!

Experiences we have in our culture prove that life is a journey. Not a sprint!