Can We Talk?

 One major topic we haven't discussed here is communicating vocally as a female. I guess I don't feel it is one of my strong points so maybe I'm burying my head in the sand.
I'm sure you girls know there are many places on the net who will give you pointers or even sell you tips on how to speak as a female.
I scanned a few and personally I'm a believer in the "middle voice" theory. I'm far from being an expert but the theory works something  like this.  The male voice begins down in the diaphragm. Now, you can work the male voice up to a false sounding falsetto which is as bad as the first. So you need to get to the middle ground. You are actually speaking from the middle from your vocal range.  That's the easy part!  There are other factors such as resonance, pitch and intonation. All of these send my head spinning!
Learning to walk and talk like a women. All at the same time? Wow!
My friends tell me my voice fits me as a girl and don't worry and that's great but...I do know I need a lot of improvement!
I do have a couple small hints I use.  When I talk to a woman, I use her as a "pitch pipe". You remember those things your music teacher used to use to get everyone on the same page! I try to get on her same page by trying to mimic her pitch and resonance. I also try to use a "background" voice which means I try to resonate from the middle. Not a deep voice but not a louder one either. That theory gets me in trouble in noisy situations. I am becoming more comfortable in projecting the voice I have but I do believe as I continue this trip, professional help will be needed!
Fortunately, as more of the public becomes transgenderized, some courses are popping up such as the one below.


By Amanda Hess (Twitter @amandahess)

Girl talk: Inside GWU's transgender speech

ON FEMININITY: The individualized program "also depends on what the client’s view of feminine is. Not everyone wants the same thing," says Hancock.
Some transgender women strike an unrealistically feminine tone. “Some people who come in are in their 50's and 60's, and they want to sound like a 20-year-old girl," Hancock says. "They have that feminine ideal of Marilyn Monroe, but that sound is so much younger than they are. Part of the initial program is about setting appropriate goals for their voices."
Others find that a feminine affect disadvantages them in the business world. “A lot of our clients have said that it’s really difficult for them to be in business meetings because they don’t get the same attention or respect with a feminine intonation," Hancock says. "They find themselves going into their lower voice to gain authority in their speech."

I doubt seriously if I will see a course such as this being offered at our community college. I have heard however that speech professors are doing some moonlighting in this area!
The whole idea excites and scares me at the same time! How much fun would it be to totally throw a person into turmoil that believes he or she has read you? A voice to go with the vision would be unbelievable.  No more quick glances when I open my mouth! (Except when I say something stupid)
On the other hand, I don't know if I have the confidence to do the voice training right. What if I fail?
Even if I did fail, what's the bottom line?
As my friends say, there are many women who sound like men. The problem is I don't want to be one!

I've Always Wondered

How do you decide when to shake hands with a guy?
I've always considered it the man's prerogative to offer his hand.That is until I read this short excerpt from "The Frisky". Ironically, I had the opportunity to shake a man's hand tonight before I came home and read the article.
The entire piece centered on flirting with a guy but in particular I felt this excerpt provided the best information.
"Introduce yourself and offer him your hand to shake. When he shakes your hand, hold his gaze and smile. You should disengage from the handshake first so you don’t come on too strong (a girl who won’t let go is creepy). Glance down as you take your seat, then back up again at him with a slight smile on your lips and in your eyes."
In the past, when I have shaken a man's hand, I obviously don't squeeze tight and try to slide my hand gently from his grasp. Judging from this bit of information, I can be a little more aggressive when I'm introduced to a man.

Get Frisky!

On my trips around the web, I sometimes find sites so uniquely feminine I just have to pass them along. I used to be very envious of women and their world on these sites. Now I find them great fun and a great learning tool. Makeup and fashion tips are just the beginning  at "The Frisky". The site just drips estrogen!
Girl stuff such as celebrity gossip and lifestyle issues make the whole site similar to a much tamer "Cosmo" magazine. Check it out.

Speaking of "girl stuff" and estrogen, I'm adding this Trans Girl to my "Red Head Hall of Fame".

She is "Jamie Clayton" who moved to New York City from San Diego and became a renown makeup artist.
In 2008, Jamie decide to step out of "stealth" mode and agreed to an article about her transgendered life.
Just click on the link above to read more about her!
Of course, I couldn't resist one more picture!

Follow Up!

Time goes by so quickly. It does not seem possible the big Monday Night Football trip is now 3 weeks old.
Some have asked for more info about the evening! and what I would do different.
I already discussed the biggest factor...me! I had a real hard time relaxing that evening and letting the night play out. I didn't wear my team jersey which I do wear to sports bars when I watch them on TV.  Why? I was searching for the best possible outfit. I needed to stay warm and look the best I could.  The night turned out to be so mild that a long sleeved shirt under my jersey would have been fine.  Ironically, the jersey is long enough that it gives me a good body shape when I wear it with my favorite old hippie bell bottoms.
OK, enough is enough about fashion. I didn't practice what I preach. "Attitude" is a huge part of presenting female. Did OK but could have done MUCH better.
I've been through this I know but I thought up some other ideas to pass along.  I thought of what the genders do differently at a sports game.  Being a passionate fan is not restricted to one gender anymore.   The women around us were whooping it up equally with the guys.  The difference is how they do it.  Think about the simple act of clapping as a girl.  The biggest difference is clapping with breasts.  You naturally have to do it different The "girls" can get in the way! But that's not all. Many women clap with their palms almost touching and their hands facing each other. Not crossed palm like guys when they clap.
Finally, you can't let out this deep roar when your team scores.  Unless you are real good with your voice, you can go my route and be enthusiastic with a "Yay"! I always thought all of this would be a detriment when I watched the game as a girl. It really isn't and sometimes you will catch the eye of a guy who appreciates a knowledgeable female fan. I'm just careful not to know too much!
Another one of the simple guy things at a game is buying a beer.  Not as simple when that male face is on the ID you are showing to the beer vendor!  I was happy the guy I bought off of carded everyone one but me  He barely looked up at a old broad and sold me a beer. lol. I was unhappy when I found NFL rules forbid the sale of more than one beer per person. I was trying to buy two which meant I had to go and come back for another for my friend.
Actually there are two simple solutions to the beer problem.  Buy the beer in the stands where the vendors normally don't check ID's. It's still the same cheap beer for the same ridiculous price.
Finally, the thought that weighed on my mind the most was the group could have stopped anywhere for food before the game.  The good point to this is-all three others in the group accept me totally as a girl.  The bad thing is-100% of the public doesn't. In the worst way I didn't want to cause any problems for my friends!
While it's true I'm well on the way to feeling really natural in the female world, it is always so easy to fall back and do something which screams GUY!
That too was one of my Monday night worries.
Is that enough paranoia for you? It is for me!
On the bright side, the group is already planning another game for all of us. Something went right!
The evening was actually my second trip to an event. Went to a "Joe Cocker" outdoor concert two summers ago. He was terrible but the night was fun and the only attention I received was from a couple down the row.
I believe that was the evening I learned to applaud different!
I hope I answered a few more questions and didn't bore you girls too much!
If you are into sports I am a Bengals fan and you can feel sorry for me now or call me stupid!  If you are not, the Bengals have been one of the worst NFL teams for decades!
I have learned the internet is really world wide! Can't get anything past me!
Actually Australia and Brazil are in my top 5 list and I thank all of you! I'm sure your Aussie football Or "footy" is every bit as tough as the NFL! But I never said that!

IS It Just Me?

For some reason I just hate being called a "gurl" or "gurrl".
For starters the names are "grinder words" like Scranton or Yonkers. (no offense to either of these places!)
The words just aren't pretty. They provide a mental picture of a guy in hose and heels smoking a big cigar.
Yes they do reference the fact the person you are seeing isn't a 100% genetic female BUT I for one feel 100% real girl when I am one.  I want my inner girl to shine through!
It is very difficult to come up with a term to use with us because we are so varied. I've seen the word "tranny" called a gender slur like "f__"
In addition some trans girls are so beautiful, you have to have a word to tell you they are trans if they are not in "stealth" mode. Stealth means they are living totally as a woman with no reference whatsoever to their previous life or gender.
I don't have the magic word to replace the "g" words above except "she" of course. I also don't have the answer to those of you who are admirers. Again maybe you are not involved as deeply in the transgendered culture and that's fine.
Please don't call me "gurl" and I'll love you! (For at least a couple seconds!)

Love Conquers Gender?

"Back in the day" I knew a gorgeous Trans Girl. Can't say I really knew her well enough to slap a label on her.I didn't know if she was  a really accomplished CD or more. She could really handle herself well as a "she" is all I really knew.
I knew her from a monthly get together and one month I asked where is Renee? I was told she had met a woman, got engaged and was no longer dressing as a girl.
Being the cynic that I am, I always wondered how long that would last? Most all of us have been through the dark times of "purges" and the like. I never found out about "Renee" unless she happens to read this.
I never have changed my belief that you can't just walk away from this life but maybe you've seen this story about a person who did.
From the DailyMail:

He spent £100,000 on cosmetic operations and tooth veneers to create the ‘ultimate male ­fantasy’ and was so convincing as a woman he had no trouble attracting men, and was briefly engaged to a wealthy landowner.
Initially thrilled by his transformation, life as a woman quickly paled despite a jetset lifestyle in Monaco.
He hated the way female hormones made him moody and emotional. Shopping bored him and sex was a disappointment.
No matter how feminine he looked, he felt he was merely playing a role.
So, five years ago, Charles spent a further £25,000 on three operations at the gender clinic at London’s Charing Cross Hospital to turn him back into a male.

If you would care to follow his story further, there are after photos too.  He should have stayed female! The irony is that he has the money to do it.

Catching up!

Sometimes I think I'm in this giant rut!
Last night I went to my sports pub on a very busy night and watched the beginning of the real college hoops season without so much as a comment or look from anyone. Saturday was the same way.  My outfit was a football jersey and jeans Saturday.
I wonder if this is what it would be like full time? Just being out as me...a girl and why now?
I suspect there are a couple factors. Number one is hair style and color. Here on the blog, I have some other pictures of me in other hair.  Well, I've decided on the red. My friends like it as do I.  If I believe I can wear it with confidence all the time-that is half the battle.
I hate to admit to the other. Makeup! All of the sudden (after years) I subtly changed the way I'm applying it.
I changed my approach to my eye make up for the better.  For years I was told my eyes were the most dramatic part of my look so I emphasized them. Too much so on occasion.  Recently I've tried to make the eyes dramatic but with less. Emphasizing the line of the eye with out doing much with the lids themselves.  This allows me to bring out my eyebrows.  My brows are very thin to start with and I'm able to color them to match the hair and bring them out. At least for now all of this seems to be working. My acceptance level is at an all time high. BUT you are thinking what the heck is her problem???
It's complex, but I'll give this a shot. I follow two people closely and a couple of their ideas enter into this.
"Stana" at Femulate and I are somewhat on the same path of public presentation. She has mentioned she is to the point that it is getting to be all so natural (I paraphrase). Stana is a "hose and heels" girl! I respect her sense of style and fashion but my world is quite different. That is the fun part!
Fun, brings me to the other influence I have and she is "Janie" who I've mentioned here a number of times. Janie once had a post basically asking is it more fun to present female or to spice your outfit up and be a great looking guy in a dress? (paraphrasing again)
I have succeeded temporarily in the first part. That's the rut I'm in.  Where's the fun?.  Even at the NFL game I walked, looked and talked like a girl and was accepted. I dress in nice fashionable clothes but nothing with heels, jeans and sweaters. I get some looks but the same as any middle aged female would get...from middle aged guys.
Yes I could ramp it up again! I have the boots, leggings and clothes to do it.  Doing that risks the gains I've made as a person, so it is not as easy as it seems.
So I guess if you see someone peeking at you over a hill, it's just me in my rut.  It's all good. Sigh!

Better Sex Through Chemistry.

Better sex through chemistry? Absolutely girls! But not the way you think.
Several posts ago, I touched on a few of the basic hormonal theories about testosterone.
As it turns out some in our community have taken these theories even farther. All the way to sexual attraction.
At some point in our lives, most of us been strongly attracted to someone, Not love-attraction. It happened to me a couple weeks ago as I was in my male mode. I work with the public and this women and I were positively in dream mode.  I could see it in her eyes and I'm sure see could see it in mine.
Some feel the attraction is a basic chemical one. If you think of the human as an animal, all of this isn't so far fetched.  Men are very visual sexually. The sheer numbers of sperm produced causes them to be less selective.
Women of course are basically the opposite.  Fewer eggs to fertilize causes them to be more selective.
Into the middle of all of this throw in pheromones and better yet the trans girl!
This has more possibilities than a politician on the take.
If the trans girl has a spouse and begins female hormone therapy, does she smell different to the spouse? Yes, according to one Hub Page post I read. In fact the spouse said smell was the first change she noticed. Does the trans girl care? Probably not. If she is in the market for a man, the breast development, softer skin and less body hair would most likely give her more satisfaction with guys. If she is the market for women, I have a different theory.
Let's assume the trans girl is NOT on hormones. If she presents well enough she could still attract guys...but how about women? I don't know, but on very rare occasions I've encountered women who were positively entranced with me. Not attracted-entranced. A whole different meaning. They were not so much into how I looked. They were into what I was.
Could have this been chemical? Did my intact male hormones react to the female attention and could that have been part of the potent attraction?
How does all of this theory affect a post op TS? In theory, she wouldn't have much of a sex drive because of low testosterone. If she was into men, could she smell them and react as a genetic woman? If a man walked by would she react on a subconscious level sexually?
I find all of this fascinating and a great discussion that could go on forever. The fact of the matter is, chemicals inside you could be controlling more than you think. As a man or a woman, or somewhere in between.

Quick Quote!

Just another quote from an old source! This again comes from a yahoo group I'm still allowed in!
The quote comes from Sue Johanson who was a sex therapist on the radio for many years before the currant crop said "crossdressing is an affection a man has and his wife suffers from." She said the crossdresser is fine, he will find his way but it's the wife who needs treatment".

I'm not so sure this was a real positive quote among TG spouses but regardless, Sue wasn't flashy and could say a lot in a few words! She also sounded like your granny telling you about sex. One of the reasons she didn't make it past Ophra and Jerry?