Sometimes I think I'm in this giant rut!
Last night I went to my sports pub on a very busy night and watched the beginning of the real college hoops season without so much as a comment or look from anyone. Saturday was the same way. My outfit was a football jersey and jeans Saturday.
I wonder if this is what it would be like full time? Just being out as me...a girl and why now?
I suspect there are a couple factors. Number one is hair style and color. Here on the blog, I have some other pictures of me in other hair. Well, I've decided on the red. My friends like it as do I. If I believe I can wear it with confidence all the time-that is half the battle.
I hate to admit to the other. Makeup! All of the sudden (after years) I subtly changed the way I'm applying it.
I changed my approach to my eye make up for the better. For years I was told my eyes were the most dramatic part of my look so I emphasized them. Too much so on occasion. Recently I've tried to make the eyes dramatic but with less. Emphasizing the line of the eye with out doing much with the lids themselves. This allows me to bring out my eyebrows. My brows are very thin to start with and I'm able to color them to match the hair and bring them out. At least for now all of this seems to be working. My acceptance level is at an all time high. BUT you are thinking what the heck is her problem???
It's complex, but I'll give this a shot. I follow two people closely and a couple of their ideas enter into this.
"Stana" at Femulate and I are somewhat on the same path of public presentation. She has mentioned she is to the point that it is getting to be all so natural (I paraphrase). Stana is a "hose and heels" girl! I respect her sense of style and fashion but my world is quite different. That is the fun part!
Fun, brings me to the other influence I have and she is "Janie" who I've mentioned here a number of times. Janie once had a post basically asking is it more fun to present female or to spice your outfit up and be a great looking guy in a dress? (paraphrasing again)
I have succeeded temporarily in the first part. That's the rut I'm in. Where's the fun?. Even at the NFL game I walked, looked and talked like a girl and was accepted. I dress in nice fashionable clothes but nothing with heels, jeans and sweaters. I get some looks but the same as any middle aged female would get...from middle aged guys.
Yes I could ramp it up again! I have the boots, leggings and clothes to do it. Doing that risks the gains I've made as a person, so it is not as easy as it seems.
So I guess if you see someone peeking at you over a hill, it's just me in my rut. It's all good. Sigh!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
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