Sneaking Out

 These days, thanks to the continuing affects of Covid 19, it seems every night Liz and I decide to go out, it is an adventure. First, we don't get to do it very often and second, we have to make sure we can do it as safely as possible. For example, I can count on one hand the number of times we have been out in the past several months. 

Last night we returned to our favorite Mexican Restaurant for a pitcher of margaritas and a bite to eat. We like the venue too because it has a nice sized patio we can eat on and stay more socially distanced. We managed to stay reasonably away from everyone except the pesky owner who kept drifting past our table.

For the evening which was slightly warm and humid, I chose a black pair of my favorite leggings along with a white tank top along with my lightweight black and white patterned blouse which comes down to my hips. Finishing off the outfit were my black flats. What I am most proud of is being able to go without foundation these days. The most recent picture I have shown you all here in Cyrsti's Condo, is an attempt to show the natural me. With no fancy photo filters and wearing just eye makeup along with lip gloss. Of course, most of the time, I am wearing a face mask so no one would notice anyhow. Back to the evening... 

I was comfortable,  accepted and as always, immensely enjoyed the food and my night out with Liz. 

Rumor has it I might have a birthday coming up relatively soon and Liz along with my daughter may be coming up with a surprise. So who knows? Maybe another evening to sneak out.  

Hard Core?

 Until today, I have heard my Mtf gender transition described many ways. Now I have another. 

On Facebook, I posted this picture.

You may remember it was taken at Liz and I's ninth anniversary dinner. 

Ironically, I had only met this person once last summer. At the time she seemed to be a LGBTQ ally and we had several good conversations. 

Shortly after that, she moved away and the only way I ever saw her was on Facebook. Interestingly, after she saw the picture this morning, she remarked I had a gone through a "hardcore" feminine transformation since she had seen me a year ago. Even during my days in the Army, I never earned the hardcore distinction from anyone. It was in the military when I first had heard the term.

I thanked her profusely but didn't give credit where it was due, I believe the increased dosage of Estradiol I have been on for the past year have finally produced the desired results I was looking for. 

Plus a compliment is a compliment...right? 

9-11

 It's September 11th. A day which was seared into the reality of most American's who were alive at that time. 

I still remember vividly I was getting ready for work and I happened to be watching television. My wife at the time worked at a bookstore very close to a major air force base so I called her with the news. At the same time the second plane hit the other tower. Life changed forever in that instant. 

Let's take this moment to remember all of those lives lost and affected. 

Liz's Turn

 I recently completed my colonoscopy at the Veterans Administration Hospital here in Cincinnati, Ohio. During my visit I was treated with respect for the most part, except for one nurse who disappeared suddenly and  promptly sent another nurse in to finish the prep work. I don't really know or care what she thought. 

Liz was scheduled for her colonoscopy this morning. Since Liz is a cis gender woman, she had all the usual worries. She did really well though, as she emerged with no problems. 

So, the only people I came into contact with was the nurse who wheeled Liz to the car when she was done and of course I had my mask on and a very lethargic drive thru clerk at a nearby Starbucks who didn't really seem to know what day it was, let alone worry about dealing with a transgender woman. 

Since Liz had the first appointment this morning, sleep last night was hard to come by. So I need to wrap this up and get my nap in.

Stay safe!!

Transgender Thesis

 From Temple University, comes the true experience of a young adult's experience coming out as their authentic self, transgender. It is called "Halloween 1987".  This comes to us from "The Temple News."

“Halloween 1987” tells the story of Cory, a teenage boy whose girlfriend wants them to wear a couple’s costume to a Halloween party. She comes up with the idea that she dresses as Cory, and Cory dresses as her. Cory, although hesitant, agrees, and the night changes Cory’s life.

The premise is based on the real-life experience of Jenny Jae Cory, a transgender woman from Towanda, a small, rural town in Appalachian Pennsylvania. Bursic met Jenny Jae Cory while working as the lead media coordinator for the Pennsylvania Youth Congress, the state’s sole LGBTQ youth advocacy organization, according to its website. 

Bursic, a 2020 film and media arts alumnus, was in Towanda to film the LGBTQ pride parade Jenny Jae Cory had organized. As they talked, Jenny Jae Cory shared her draft of her autobiography, which included the story about her epiphany during that fateful Halloween night.

Jenny Jae Cory remembered that, at that time, it was hard for her to figure out that she was transgender because of a lack of information. Back in the 1980s, her main resources for information were her grandmother’s encyclopedia, her local library, and her peers.

“The only information you got was from your friends, and it was that you’re weird and you’re a freak,” Jenny Jae Cory said.

Although the film’s initial screening could not be done in person, Kenagh Babcock, the film’s producer and a senior film major, is working with the rest of the Halloween 1987 team to raise funds so the film can be shown at festivals in 2021.

“I think the world needs films like this so people feel seen, or can be educated about the experience,” Babcock said."

For more, go here.

Do You Pass?

 Recently, "passing" seemed to be a term which may be finding it's way out of our main vocabulary as transgender folk or cross dressers. Then again, maybe not. These days, if you can afford it, or your health allows it, you now have several different avenues to achieve passing privilege. There is surgery including facial feminization, breast augmentation all the way to genital realignment available for those who can afford it or have access to good insurance. Plus, let's not forget electrolysis to get rid of those pesky facial beards. It seems to me, after you go through all of that, you damn well better "pass". 

Personally, I feel hormone replacement therapy has helped me to present favorably in a feminine world. But that is just me.

Sadly, though, just passing doesn't bring happiness to many. A transgender friend of mine years ago once told me I passed on sheer willpower. Which I took to mean if someone had a problem with me, they could go to hell. While that was true in many instances, I still suffered the same paranoia other novice cross dressers or trans women felt as they began their journey into the feminine world. I could fill several blog posts alone with my adventures waiting for a stall in women's bathrooms. 

During my endless searches for quality posts to share with you, I found this one about a transgender woman in the UK who ran into problems just trying to try clothes on in a store. It;s called "Joni's Story" and you can find it here. Joni is below.  A brief synopsis of the lengthy post looks into how Joni was rejected from a women's fitting room and how the episode led her to an unwanted public life and a search to fit in with the butch lesbian culture. 

The end result of passing of course is how you feel about yourself. Sadly, no matter how much work some people have done on themselves, they still have difficulty finding a gender piece within.  

I "Doesn't" Know It Part Two

 Michelle sent a comment in checking up on Liz and I, making sure everything was okay. She hadn't seen a post for two weeks. Thanks for asking, but we are fine and now I am wondering what happened since it has been so long since she has seen a post. I am fairly sure I only missed a day or two posting over that period.

The only real change on my end was a big one. Google, the giant who runs the platform Cyrsti's Condo runs on has decided to change the whole system.  The same Google whose "Adsense" format controls running ads on blogs. You may, or may not have noticed the pesky ads disappeared from the blog too...with no warning.  

Google also makes it nearly impossible to interact with anyone with concerns you may have. 

The problems must be more than just minor since Connie has had problems too and visits to the blog have dropped drastically. 

Hopefully, all of this will be settled soon.

A Day Away

 Yesterday, my partner Liz had one of her group meetings at a small nearby local park. The day turned out to be a wonderful harbinger of what is to come as far as fall weather around here. Sunshine, blue skies and mellow temperatures made it the perfect day for me to go along, wait in the car and relax. It's always very difficult for me to relax, so yesterday was a very rare day. 

As my mind wandered, I thought of the two main things I have coming up before my birthday in early October. I need to get my driver's license renewed, putting up with a probable insane socially distanced date at the Department of Motor Vehicles and I have decided to get rid of my old car. In my mind it has become nothing more than a tie in to a past I'm trying to forget. Liz wants me to try to sell it but I just want to junk it as it barely runs and is ancient. One way or another I have to do it before the license plates expire in October/ 

Finally, I put all of those thoughts out of my mind and started concentrating on something important, like a fall wardrobe. Even though I will overwhelmingly be staying in and not seeing anyone, I still need to break down and get my hair done. It is getting so long, even Liz is threatening to cut it for me. In partner speak, she is telling me nicely the hair is out of control. I have someone in mind to attack the beast, if she is accepting new patients :). She is the former wife of a transgender woman acquaintance of mine.  

I also began to think of what portion of my fall wardrobe still existed and was wearable. I figured I will need a new sweater or two plus maybe a pair of leather look leggings I saw on Fabulous AFTER 40. For some reason I am craving them! I have added a picture below. 

All to soon, my morning shifted back to reality as Liz finished her get together and my day away from life was over.

 

Another Transgender First

 I remember :back in the day" going to Pride carried with it a sense of frustration. Normally the first thing you saw was a group of garish drag queens waving from the back of a decorated truck or convertible. It was all well and good for them but had very little to do with me as a transgender woman. The "T" in LGBT Pride was definitely silent. I didn't let any of that stop me though. I figured at the least I could represent a portion of the transgender community who were just trying to lead an authentic life while at the same time having fun.  

As time went on, more and more trans women and trans men began to attend Pride (at least here locally) and one year recently, a trans woman was selected to lead the Cincinnati Pride Parade. In a few other major locations, such as Los Angeles now the celebration has gone full circle as transgender woman Sharon-Franklin Brown (below) has been named president of the sizable operation.

We have come along way...with such a long way yet to go.