Bored

After every up moment such as this weekend, there naturally comes a period of "what now?"

I have nothing going on this week until Friday when we have our monthly transgender-cross dresser social at the Mexican Restaurant we go to quite a bit.

It's still too early to decide, but since we are still baking in our mini heat wave, I probably will wear my other maxi dress.

Other than that, I will be riding along with Liz to her doctor's appointments, which require no special preparation to speak of. Just the normal jeans and minimal make up.

All the Prides in the area are now done, so it's a let down too. Most of the euphoria of Pride can be tempered with all the tragic violence against transgender women around the country and the world. Pride is a powerful example of what is possible...if we all stick together and make it happen.

A Reminder

Last night we went out to dinner at one of our fave spots.

It was a warm, even hot summer evening here in Ohio, an ideal night I thought to wear one of my long slinky maxi dresses.

It was fun to take my shower in anticipation of the evening and washing my hair and letting it dry naturally, bringing out all the curls.

All too quickly it was time to slip into my dress, attach my favorite earrings and slide into my black flats. Even though I spend my whole life in a feminine world, I had an inkling of a thought...all of this was fun and I loved it.

The feeling continued into the evening.  The restaurant wasn't very busy for a change so we didn't have a problem finding the rest of our party.

As I walked in, I was distinctly aware of the changes to my body thanks to HRT. I could feel everything from my hair on my neck all the way to the shoes on my feet. Now I thought, this was what I went through all the changes for.

Ironically, a woman in a black pants suit (and obviously nothing under it) sat down close to us. For a second my mind flashed back to an earlier time when I would have been intensely envious of her. But last night, I didn't have to be.

I was free to finally be myself and it felt great.

The picture on the left is actually the same dress taken last summer. 

Marvel Goes Trans

From "The Swaddle":

"The third season of Jessica Jones released this week, concluding Netflix’s four-year-long, uber-successful partnership with Marvel. The series, with its feminist lead and all-female lineup of directors, is known for its inclusive representation of people of color and sensitive handling of queer relationships, sexuality, rape, and post-traumatic stress syndrome. Pushing the diversity envelope even further, Jessica Jones‘ new season stars transgender actress Aneesh Sheth, who plays superheroineJessica’s sassy and resourceful new assistant Gillian — Marvel’s first ever trans character.

While this is a big move for trans representation on screen, the way the show portrays the character of Gillian is significantly refreshing. In a promotional interview with Marvel, Sheth says: “I’m transgender, and the character of Gillian is also trans. But there is no mention of her being trans within the show, nor kind of a narrative around her identity, which I think is wonderful because trans people exist in the world and it’s not always about their [trans] narrative.” 

Sheth was born in Pune, India, and moved to the U.S. to pursue a career in acting. She graduated from New York University and kicked off her career as Sweetie, a character in A.R. Rahman’s musical Bombay Dreams. Today, she is an actress, a singer and a trans activist, with a Master’s degree in social work, who spends her time between the stage, the screen and working with LGBTQIA+ youth groups.

“I think it’s important in terms of representation to have people out there recognize that you’ve got a South Asian trans person on television who’s kind of creating representation, but also how wonderful it is for that person to exist in a show without having to hit [everyone] over the head and avoid sensationalism,” Sheth says, speaking to Marvel."

For more follow the links above.

Acceptance

The person I hadn't had contact with in over eleven years took very little time in getting back in touch with me.

It turns out she lives in Phoenix, Arizona now and while being surprised (shocked) at my gender transition news she accepted it one hundred percent.  Further more she wants to see if I can add any information on my ancestry for her. It should be interesting.

Speaking of interesting, we (Liz and I) are booking a trip to Colorado in approximately three weeks. We get the dubious thrill of riding a tour bus through quite a bit of boring scenery before the fun starts. I am a huge train buff and we will ride four different rail lines and even spend a couple days in Denver.

The tough parts will be figuring what to pack for a ten day trip and holding back all the internal fears I have about being "discovered" by a mean old lady on the trip. I call it my "Transgender-PTSD." This is actually our fourth time doing this, so you would think I would be getting better.

More than likely nothing will happen and I will have done all of this worrying for nothing.

Nothing is Ever Easy

Out of the clear blue sky this morning on one of my ancient e-mail accounts, I received a message from an old acquaintance (2011) asking how I was doing. By the way, 2011 was the year I decided to follow my instincts and come out as transgender.

Without hesitation, I told her the reason she could not find me on any social media as a guy anymore was because I wasn't one anymore.

We shall see if I get a return comment.

Changing topics now, I am going back to yesterday's post concerning Kansas's new birth certificate ruling which allows transgender residents to change their birth certificates to reflect their true gender.

According to Connie, there is much more to it:

 " I believe that half of the states that do allow gender changes on birth certificates do so only after GRS; not like Kansas just did, requiring just a sworn statement. If you're lobbying the state of Ohio to allow the change, make sure that they follow Kansas' example. I was born in Arizona, which is one of the states requiring GRS, so I'm out of luck. 

Another thing that is not so great, even though a state may allow the gender change, is that the new certificate may be stamped "altered" or "modified." Anything short of a gemder-changed birth certificate being just like any other issued is just a certificate of proof so that one can out themselves officially. "

To my knowledge, Ohio's changes would be the same as Kansas, but we will have to see what happens. Ohio allows the "modified" certificate now, so we are hoping to move past all of that.

Now There are Only Two

Kansas has become the 48th state in America to allow transgender people to change the gender designations on their birth certificates.

The Kansas Department of Health and Environment has entered a consent judgment in a federal lawsuit to allow people to legally change the gender in their birth records by submitting a personal sworn statement of gender identity.

In addition, they would have to provide a drivers license or passport with their new identity, or an affidavit from a physician or mental health professional attesting to the person’s gender identity.

Now, the only two states left not allowing birth certificate changes are Tennessee and Ohio. I am sure some of you discerning Cyrsti's Condo's readers are aware I am from Ohio. 

Our birth certificate case is in the courts now and hopefully we will climb out of the middle ages in this area also.

I have changed all my other gender markers and am waiting to do my birth certificate too!

Group Tears

Last night's transgender - cross dresser support group meeting at times was very intense. For example, we had a first time participant show up who is not transgender but has two trans kids. Ironically, she wants to be able to connect with them but can't seem to. More than likely their is probably another detached spouse pulling the strings. Through her tears she managed to say she "thinks" Cincinnati Children's Hospital is involved , which is the "Gold Standard" for trans care in the area for anyone 24 or younger.

Another interesting attendee was struggling to put into focus who they really were. Even though, they are starting HRT and most of work knows, they still use the terminology "dressing up" as a woman and not dressing as their "true self".

Also in attendance were two totally new peeps, one still dressed as a guy. Neither said a whole lot except one owned a new "old school" board game shop fairly close to our house.

More tears came after the new peeps when one of the trans women who brought her wife to the last meeting read a letter from the wife. The letter delved deeply into the struggle she was having accepting the "death" of her husband and the ability to being able to move on if she had too.

Between her and the woman with the two trans kids, I realized once again the severe distress gender dysphoria can cause.

I hope everyone's time at the meeting was valuable. Even the young trans woman who has a boy friend who knows she is trans. Haven't seen her for a long time but she is transitioning really well.

Balancing her story is a sad one. One of the nicest transgender women I have ever met went through all her gender surgeries with flying colors, found a man who again knew of her past but went ahead with plans to get married anyhow. However, before the date, he backed out saying people in the small Kentucky town he was from were calling him gay. More tears.

Maybe I should check my hormone levels!

Naked and Transgender?

From the New York Times:

Quince Mountain 

"Quince Mountain is the first openly transgender person to be on “Naked and Afraid,” Discovery’s reality TV show in which participants try to survive 21 days in the wilderness. His episode debuted this month"

Here's an excerpt:

"I’m lying under an uneven canopy of foliage, sharp gravel digging into my back. I try not to think of the jungle rain as unceasing. I try to feel it, drop by drop. Sometimes a drop hits a spot where my skin is cut or burned away, and I feel a little thrill.

I am camped along the bank of the Corinto River, in a rain forest in Atlántida, Honduras, and have been for nine days. I’m alone: the partner I started this 21-day challenge with went home five days ago.

This is miserable, but I feel fortunate. Growing up knowing I was a boy when everyone around me considered me a girl — and not a very good one — already taught me how to survive alone. Being naked in this remote jungle is a relief. The wilderness couldn’t care less who I am."

"It’s a big deal to be a trans person out in the public square who is able to act rather than simply being acted upon. In appearing on “Naked and Afraid,” I want to show what I can accomplish, without having to deal with people questioning my credentials. I want to show what trans people can accomplish. With new laws restricting access to bathrooms, locker rooms and shelters, physical attacks on trans people on the rise, according to advocacy groups, and federal legislation threatening safeguards for the transgender rights that do exist, I want to shout: “Just leave us alone!”

Obviously, the more exposure we get as a transgender community, the better!

Pride

Yesterday was a very long day for my partner Liz and I. It was Cincinnati Pride Day.  A medium sized event (as far as Prides go) with around 100,000 people attending.

Our day started around eight in the morning since we also set up a promotional booth for our fall Cincinnati Witches Ball. I stayed in the booth while Liz and a couple others walked in the parade. Doing so, I was able to escape the early showers that ended early in the afternoon.

Since we set up a booth, we had to stay all day until nine at night, so as I wrote, it made for a long exciting day.

Cincinnati, Ohio Pride Parade

During the day, I was able to "escape" a couple times and visit the booth the cross dresser - transgender group I am part of too. They did so well they passed out all the information they brought by around four in the afternoon.

Of course what I like about Pride the most were the younger people being able to celebrate being themselves in a totally inclusive environment. The whole day gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling for the future. Once the majority of the old white power dinosaurs finish dying off and the kids take over, they can change the world.

As for me yesterday, by the time the day was over, I was feeling every bit of my nearly seventy years on this planet. Part of me was happy the day was over but another part of me was sad too.

Even though I live my own Pride 24/7, I can't wait for next year!