Indya Moore

Indya Moore becomes the first transgender person on the cover of "Elle."

From "Pride" :
An earlier version of this article referred to Indya Moore using she/her pronouns based on the Elle article's note that Moore okayed the use of 'she/her' for their article. After further consideration, the pronouns have been switched to those Moore generally prefers, which are they/them.

Pose star Indya Moore broke barriers this month when they became the first transgender person to be featured on the cover of Elle.

Nicole Maines

Beautiful 21 year old transgender actress of Super Girl fame "Nicole Maines."

Happy Mother's Day

Or should I say, Happy Parent's Day?

For most of transgender people, it is a bittersweet day. A remembrance of un-accepting children. For others it is simply an uneasy adjustment to the new you. And, if you are very fortunate, it is time for you to be remembered as a parent. A role model for children to be themselves...no matter what.

As most of you already know, I list myself as a very fortunate transgender woman. My daughter is very accepting and I have made my peace with my un-accepting Mother.

For the rest of you, I will only say be patient with your loved ones. Hopefully, they will come around eventually.

Every year I hope this post finds more of you in the accepting category. For those of you still in the closet, the problem is trying to figure out ahead of time who will accept you and who won't. Most of the time, it is impossible to predict.

In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy "Parent's Day!"

Ladies

Today (Saturday) was typically martial arts day for Liz and an afternoon of running errands for both of us.

Something must have gone right for me today since the closeted cross dresser was even semi civil to me. The hour class went by in a hurry and I caught up on my busy work on my phone. I am trying to connect a guy working on LGBT history in Dayton, Ohio with Columbus, Ohio trans historian J.M. Ellison to see if they have anything in common. In addition the guy in Dayton was asking if I have anything to add. I really don't think I do because I didn't actually live in Dayton (just close to it) and so really didn't know much about the LGBT scene there.

The grocery store was predictably bland except for one possible other transgender woman I see there often. I was waiting at the bank for Liz to open a savings account and only was able to see her (the trans woman) at a distance.

Seemingly, it took forever for the banking transaction to be completed, so I spent my time reading a Cincinnati Magazine detailing the booming local/world food scene. About the time I was getting very restless, Liz and the bank manager emerged and the manager (also a woman) said "You ladies have a good afternoon."

Her statement was enough to erase any restlessness and propelled me on to the rest of my afternoon.

The day will continue on until tonight when we are invited again to dinner with a couple of our cross dresser acquaintances.It should be interesting, as always!

Man Speak?

If you have never been spoken down to as a woman by a man, you don't know what you are missing. I learned very quickly what I was missing...most of my intelligence. Both binary genders learn quickly how to communicate within themselves but normally aren't very good at dealing with the other gender.

I provided one example in my "Short and Sweet" post and Connie provides us with another:

"So, it's not just blondes, huh? At least you avoided the mansplaining.

I remember an episode of "Father Knows Best," wherein Jim was teaching his wife, Margaret, how to drive. While he thought it important that she have a working knowledge of the mechanics of the car before learning how to drive it, Margaret wanted to just turn the key and go. As I recall, they never got out of the driveway during that first lesson - which ended in a fight, leaving Jim bewildered at Margaret's incompetence and Margaret feeling down because of Jim's mansplaining. Of course, Father rarely knew best on that show, which aired in the 50's, but there are still many men who make the same mistake today.

Most of my working life was spent in the construction field. I knew my business, and I had (still have) a working knowledge of the building process. I learned something new every day, but not because it had been explained to me in a condescending manner. It was all man to man, and we spoke the same language. Since I began transitioning, though, I have found it best to not even let it be known that I am still fluent in manspeak. If I am working on a project around the house, and go to the supplier for parts (and maybe a bit of advice), I will allow for some mansplaining, but I just ask the right questions in order to get the needed information and materials.

Sometimes, the smart thing to do is to appear to be a bit dumb, even if there are other times when all I want to do is to turn the key and get on with it."

My best example still is the tow truck driver who wouldn't listen to my directions to my own house! At that point I was still very new to the feminine experience  and was aggravated for awhile until I learned this was going to be indicative of my new life.   FYI, I was a blond back in those days.

Don't Bother me Dammit

Yesterday, I went with Liz to her two doctors appointments. I was hoping to see again the young transgender woman I met the last time I was there. But, I had no such luck. Time went fast though and soon we were headed to one of the big box lumber stores to try to pick out boards to break for Liz's martial arts classes. It's not as easy or as difficult as it sounds as you have to select boards with just the right grain, or risk injury.

As you all probably know the big box construction stores contain almost as much testosterone as lumber. As I guy, I once restored an old house, so I used to know my way around them as well as the next man and truthfully are not my favorite places to go back to as a trans woman. Although I have rarely had a problem.

But I regress.

One of my fave older p

After Liz picked out her boards, she had to find someone to cut them to length for her, which always is a challenge. Yesterday turned out to be even a bigger challenge.

The guy she found to do it obviously thought we were putting him out as he begrudgingly cut and slammed the boards down.

I watched with humor as Liz killed him with kindness and he finally helped her load the finished product into the cart.

I remembered not so fondly those male days of my life. Hopefully, the guy was able to get back to doing nothing and feeling good about it. 

Correction

In the long history (8 + years) of the Cyrsti's Condo blog, I have been fortunate enough to have tried to seek out the facts I write about successfully. But, I am human too (and spell check isn't), so I have been known to mess several up too.

In the "Old and New Friends" post I inadvertently spelled Monika's name with a "C" not a "K". My apologies.

Monika also noticed the "Mom" comment about her too. Unfortunately, I didn't take the extra effort to mention we are both approximately the same age.

As you may remember, initially I got my feelings a little hurt when she commented negatively about my hair...just like my own Mom would have done. So, the "Mom" comment wasn't really about age at all.

There is a happy ending to all of this... I hope. After I got my hair done and colored Monika did make me a nice bunch of compliments.

That is what I would have desperately wanted to happen with my real Mom. Maybe it was all wishful thinking. I am sorry I put Monika on the spot though. It wasn't fair to her!

Short and Sweet?

This post is going to be decidedly shorter than the usual ramblings I turn out.

We have been having troubles with our internet provider and had to have a service person come to the house to solve the puzzle.

I'm not much of a technological genius, so most of the conversation between him and Liz was gibberish to me. Since Liz works from home and her computer/internet is very important, I just sat and listened.

Along the way, the service person said (in reference to me), she doesn't seem to know much about the system. I replied, I was basically only concerned with having the internet up and running enough to write my blog.

I was happy with being called by the proper pronoun and left it at that.

Break Down

Connie kindly read the lengthy article I spotlighted here in Cyrsti's Condo about the ridiculous transgender military ban. You can see the post here. Here is her (Connie's) take:

"Let me first make it clear that I think this ban is ridiculous, and unconstitutional, as well. Bravo for these women's efforts!

The part of the story that really intrigues me is this part:

"She’s worried about people who are only just realizing they’re transgender. Hendrick came out at 46 years old and hadn’t known of a trans person other than on television before 2014. She said one of her clients realized they were trans after seeing congressional testimony from a trans military member.
“When I realized what was going on with me, I was like ‘I have to transition now, even if it ruins my career. I’ve been alive for 46 years and I have not experienced life as who I truly am. I need to do this,’” Hendrick said.

I realize that my gender identity and dysphoria are mine, and mine alone. I can't expect that every other trans person has had the same experiences. However, it's difficult for me to believe that one goes through life, especially into middle-age, unaware of their own dysphoria - let alone never seeing some sort of similarity between themselves and trans people they have seen on TV. I also understand denial, but you can't deny something unless you've first recognized it.

I can only take her (Hendrick's) statement as her own truth. When I was 46, I was hiding in the closet, having lived with my dysphoria since early childhood. While she made a complete transition (physically, anyway) in just two years, I was still hiding myself in the closet at 48. In fact, it was another ten years before I could decide that I had to live the rest of my life as a woman. 

I certainly don't advocate following my path to transition, but, even had I not been the procrastinator that I am, I don't think I could have made such a drastic change in only two years' time. Although I don't believe in all the "rapid onset" nonsense, this case seems just about as rapid as it could be.

As I said, intriguing."

Thanks!