Passages

As I continue to put together a possible workshop title for the Trans Ohio Symposium this Spring, I dredge up old memories and wonder why I went down certain paths.

One major one revolved the fact I had the penchant for certain people seeing me both ways, as a man and as a cross dressed woman.

As we all know, time makes for an excellent filter. Good or bad, we have a chance to re-live and wonder about the past.

One word which keeps appearing in my past is validation and my earliest senses of being validated as a cross dressed woman came from Halloween parties. In fact, it took me years to realize when somebody complimented me it was "You look good as a woman...for a man."  Somehow I finally realized the difference between reality, pictures and the mirror.

Summer Picture

I was missing the key element of feeling comfortable in my own skin which finally led to a confidence I had never known as a transgender woman. Plus the biggest key to it all was the ability for me to grow my own hair. (Yours may be different of course.)

Passages for all of us transgender women are easy to over simplify, which I think leads to the infamous "I'm more trans than you debacle."

One way or another, the journey never seems to totally end, it just gets easier with time...most of the time.

Who Was That Woman...Part Two

We continue to receive the occasional comment concerning our Cyrsti's Condo past post, called "Who Was that Woman."

Cutting to the chase, I wrote about the brief glimpse I saw of myself in a restroom mirror. Instead of recoiling in horror, I made the quick gender judgement of "woman." (Without thinking)

One comment in particular made me feel so good, because it comes from a cis woman friend I have known for years and used to chill out with occasionally. Aimee wrote:

"I am so happy for you! I think that you could give me some lessons on female self-confidence. And I think THAT is fantastic! "

Little do you know Aimee, I got plenty of lessons from you :).

I am adding a couple more comments which seem to fit:

As Connie always has said, "Your best fashion accessory is a smile!" and as Paula Goodwin said:

I'm a little behind you on the HRT Route ~ well quite a bit actually, but the changes to how I look to others is already quite dramatic, my latest joy is having the confidence in appearance to go out without makeup."

How ironic is it we go to all this trouble to discover less is truly more in the makeup department.

More Victories

As we celebrated the political victories yesterday of Danica Roem in Virginia and Andrea Jenkins in Minneapolis, we neglected to mention four other transgender winning candidates across the country:

Tyler Titus, Erie Pa. School Board
Lisa Middleton, Palm Springs Ca. City Council
Stephe Koontz, Doraville, Ga. City Council
and
Gerri Cannon, NH. School Board

It seems some of these victories had their basis with the help and guidance of the LGBT "Victory Institute" and it's "Victory Fund."

Now comes the hard part for all of these winners, fulfilling the promises they made during the election process.

These days, a very jaded and restless populace is tired of waiting on the screwed up mess upper level politicians have made of our government to be fixed.

As you probably noted from the list, most of these winners are on the very grass root level of government. Where change needs to start!

The Transgender Glass Ceiling Came Crashing Down!

Last night was a big breakthrough evening for transgender women and trans men everywhere, thanks to several mid term election victories.

Details from the Washington Blade: LAKE RIDGE, Va. —" Danica Roem on Tuesday soundly defeated Virginia state Del. Bob Marshall (R-Prince William County) in a race that garnered national attention.

With 100 percent of precincts in the 13th District reporting, Roem defeated Marshall by a 54-45 percent margin.

Roem, a former journalist, will become the first openly transgender person seated in any state legislature in the country once she is sworn into the Virginia House of Delegates in January.

Althea Garrison in 1992 became the first trans person elected to a state legislature in the U.S. when she won a seat in the Massachusetts House of Representatives, but she did not publicly discuss her gender identity during the campaign. Stacie Laughton in 2012 became the first openly trans person elected to a state legislature when she won a seat in the New Hampshire House of Representatives, but she later ended her bid to sit in the chamber after convictions for credit card and identity fraud became public.

Andrea Jenkins, who is a trans woman of color, on Tuesday was elected to the Minneapolis City Council."

Jenkin's (who I have had the pleasure to see speak) Is a very accomplished author, play wright and activst.  Jenkins most recently was awarded a Bush Fellowship as well as a Fellowship in the Cultural Community Leadership Institute at Intermedia Arts and was named a fellow in the Many Voices Fellowship at the Playwrights Center, according to the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund.

What a night! Follow the links for more.

Going All The Way with HRT

Cyrsti's Condo received two comments concerning my Who Was That Woman post:

1. joanna SantosNovember 5, 2017 at 6:07 PM

   Excellent good for you Cyrsti!
2. 
   Paula GoodwinNovember 6, 2017 at 7:37 AM

   Most of the things we fear never happen!
   
   I'm a little behind you on the HRT Route ~ well quite a bit actually, but the changes to how I look to others is already quite dramatic, my latest joy is having the confidence in appearance to go out without makeup.
3. Thanks to both of you ladies for your comments!
4. I still don't think most cross dressers contemplating the move to full time transgender status fully realize what it means. 
5. To start with, the move makes cross dressing up more than something which happens on a special occasion and takes hours. You learn fairly quickly what cis women know all along. You work with what you have and do the best you can with time and financial constraints. I'm not saying going out looking like a slob but there is a middle point of blending in with all the other women you are around.
6. A case in point happened to me yesterday at the grocery store when I spotted a large blond woman around the deli. My "trans-dar" went off ever so slightly. She was wearing nice jeans and a bright colored top and as I was looking at her, she turned back and smiled at me. Of course, not wanting to be a bitch, I smiled back, hoping to get another look. Or at least, a honorable mention. 
7. The point is we were dressed in the appropriate genre of clothing to blend in where we were shopping. Not glamorous but effective.
8. There is another point to be made, which gets into the tender areas of one person claiming they are "more trans" than the other. Without being too over-simplistic, here is how it worked for me:
9. Very early in my cross dressing experience, the clothes lost their fetishistic buzz but the urge to be a girl didn't. So for those of you who think being transgender is a forever condition...I qualify. If I would have ever been content with just cross dressing up to the max whenever I could, I would have fallen into the crossdresser category. Which there is absolutely nothing wrong with. If I was just into cross dressing, I can't begin to tell you the time, sorrow and effort I would have saved. 
10. Plus, I can only tell you now, going all the way with HRT was the way for me personally and some will say I am still a transgender impostor because I don't desire to go any farther and subject myself to the pain of SRS.
11. The bottom line is (of course) we are all on a gender spectrum (continuum) and when and if we find the proper point for us, we feel at home.
12. Here is hoping we all do!

Who Was That Woman?

Yesterday Liz, her son and I, headed out to a local chain steakhouse to meet her brother to celebrate a couple birthdays. I wore my black jeans, knee high charcoal boots and hip hugging gray leopard speckled form fitting top for the occasion. It was also cold enough for my black leather jacket.

As we were seated , no one paid me any extra attention which was good and we all ordered when her brother arrived. Lunch was good and soon enough it was time to leave. Before we did though, Liz and I had to go to the Ladies Room.

After taking care of business, as I was washing my hands, I caught a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror as I quickly rearranged  my hair. Just as quickly I realized I barely recognized the transgender woman looking back at me.

The HRT (hormone replacement therapy) regime seems to be working nicely as I approach four years continually on the program.

Pleased with myself, I stood up straight, threw my shoulders back and made the journey back to our table through a busy restaurant. No one barely paid me any attention.

Even though we were visiting a restaurant in Northern Kentucky, my fears of LGBT or transgender reprisal proved to be groundless.

It was a nice trip home!

Uncle Gloria

I decided to pass along this film which sounds very interesting about a transgender MtF transition later in life:

"Why would a man in his 60’s decide to change into a woman? That’s the question the documentary Uncle Gloria: One Helliuva Ride tries to answer. Set in Florida the movie follows Butch from a tough guy who runs an auto salvage business to a darling who just wants to be free from all that male stuff.

Butch has been married three times and with his first wife he had two children. With his second wife Shirley he stayed married for 21 years. One day Butch said he snapped and decided to divorce Shirley and she took him for all his money and even the pre-paid cemetery plots. Disgusted with it all Butch decides to become Gloria Stein, choosing the name from a combo of Gloria Estefan and Gloria Steinem."

Follow the link above for more.

Who Called the Fire Department?

Connie responded to my post yesterday concerning when I answered the front door with no make up:

"Dressing like that is what I call "BLANDING IN." I went grocery shopping this morning, and I'm sorry to say that I felt over-dressed, wearing skinny jeans, work-out jacket, and tennis shoes. I even saw two women in pajama bottoms! I don't know if these women stay that way all day, or if they just don't care what they look like when doing errands early in the morning. Maybe they go home and spend the afternoon getting all dolled up before their husbands come back from work. Remember that awful old sexist song, "Wives and Lovers?" 

It is very rare that I ever answer the doorbell. Of course, not that many years ago, I used to actually run and hide in the bathroom whenever I heard someone at the door, fearing they may see me "dressed up" if they should go around and peep through a window. And I would be all dressed up in those days, too! There was nothing ever comfortable about cross dressing - not in the choice of clothing, and not in the prospect of a confrontation. No makeup, sweat pants and a comfy sweater may be bland, but that look is more apt to blend than is looking like you're ready to go to a cocktail party in the middle of the day. :-)"

I get dressed to "blend" more than "bland" when I go to the store, but not (as you call) "cocktail party" ready. 

Someday I will have to write a post about when a fire truck was setting outside our house when my deceased wife got home. I was in the shower trying to erase all vestiges of cross dressing when she arrived panicked. I could only guess what I would have done if I had actually saw the fire truck and tried to "undress." 

As it was, I didn't fool my wife and caught hell anyway.

She always said I would lead her to an early grave. She passed away at fifty.

Transgender Blending In???

Yesterday, we had a very rare occurrence, someone knocked on our front door. Since I am retired and was the only one home, quickly I paused, because I was just wearing sweatpants and a long sweater top  Plus, I wasn't even wearing any makeup at all. Throwing caution to the wind, curiosity got the best of me and the decision was made to go ahead and answer the door.

I still have issues with thinking there are two of me and what if someone recognizes my old male self. Which is improbable since my appearance has changed so much and I live in a totally different town.

It turns out the woman at the door was some sort of sales person, because she said "Are you the lovely lady of the house?" I'm thinking no, not so much but stood in and listened to the rest of her pitch before telling her the house belonged to Liz.

The only thing I took from the adventure was, at least she didn't mis-pronoun me immediately, so the HRT hormones must be working. Maybe next time, I will at least be wearing a little bit of makeup.

Then I thought, the woman must be used to seeing other women dressed just like me when she knocks on their doors. I was just blending in. :)