Going All The Way with HRT

Cyrsti's Condo received two comments concerning my Who Was That Woman post:
  1. Excellent good for you Cyrsti!
  2. Most of the things we fear never happen!

    I'm a little behind you on the HRT Route ~ well quite a bit actually, but the changes to how I look to others is already quite dramatic, my latest joy is having the confidence in appearance to go out without makeup.
  3. Thanks to both of you ladies for your comments!
  4. I still don't think most cross dressers contemplating the move to full time transgender status fully realize what it means. 
  5. To start with, the move makes cross dressing up more than something which happens on a special occasion and takes hours. You learn fairly quickly what cis women know all along. You work with what you have and do the best you can with time and financial constraints. I'm not saying going out looking like a slob but there is a middle point of blending in with all the other women you are around.
  6. A case in point happened to me yesterday at the grocery store when I spotted a large blond woman around the deli. My "trans-dar" went off ever so slightly. She was wearing nice jeans and a bright colored top and as I was looking at her, she turned back and smiled at me. Of course, not wanting to be a bitch, I smiled back, hoping to get another look. Or at least, a honorable mention. 
  7. The point is we were dressed in the appropriate genre of clothing to blend in where we were shopping. Not glamorous but effective.
  8. There is another point to be made, which gets into the tender areas of one person claiming they are "more trans" than the other. Without being too over-simplistic, here is how it worked for me:
  9. Very early in my cross dressing experience, the clothes lost their fetishistic buzz but the urge to be a girl didn't. So for those of you who think being transgender is a forever condition...I qualify. If I would have ever been content with just cross dressing up to the max whenever I could, I would have fallen into the crossdresser category. Which there is absolutely nothing wrong with. If I was just into cross dressing, I can't begin to tell you the time, sorrow and effort I would have saved. 
  10. Plus, I can only tell you now, going all the way with HRT was the way for me personally and some will say I am still a transgender impostor because I don't desire to go any farther and subject myself to the pain of SRS.
  11. The bottom line is (of course) we are all on a gender spectrum (continuum) and when and if we find the proper point for us, we feel at home.
  12. Here is hoping we all do!


Unknown said…
There's actually only one instance, in the USA, which comes to mind, where going out looking like a slob would be appropriate.
see: People Of Walmart
Connie said…
Is it that you didn't recognize the woman in the mirror, or was it that you saw no traces of a man's image? I can tell you that I woke up this morning, caught a glimpse of my naked self in the bathroom mirror, and quickly turned away. In fact, that happens most every morning. It is the one time of each day bringing the reminder that I retain the unwanted parts of my male anatomy. Yet, I somehow still see myself as a woman with nothing more than an ugly growth. Even my bald head and the lack of breasts do not change my thinking - not beyond the split-second shock that comes from that initial glimpse, anyway.

Would GRS, HRT, FFS, BES (breast enhancement), and a hair transplant change my thinking? I would certainly feel better about myself, but, no, none of these things would change who I am. Most women who look at themselves in the mirror first thing in the morning see that there is some work to be done before revealing themselves to the world, and I look at myself the same way. I do have more physical challenges, but I have learned to cover up most of them, and it is my heart and soul - much more so than my eyes - that guide me.

Because of the health risks involved with all of those aforementioned acronyms, and the fact that I'd end up with the back of my head being bald by transplanting it to the top of my head, my physical appearance is not on the same continuum as is my real gender identity. I could easily pass, physically, as a man to the rest of the world, but not to myself anymore. Despite what I see in the mirror every morning, I see it as nothing more than a hiccup to the start of my day.

I can't say that I feel totally "at home" on any spectrum, but I do feel free from the "house of mirrors" that haunted me for most of my life. It's not the reflection in the mirror that counts, but the projection one makes.

Cyrsti Hart said…
I do not subject myself to looking at my totally nude figure :). Indeed, the mirror is not the final arbiter!
Cyrsti Hart said…
I have seen that, and prefer not to comment LOL!