"Lazy versus "Blending?"

Everyday I have to put together a new outfit or put on my makeup to get ready to go out, I am envious of cis women (even though I have willingly entered their world.)

For one, if I am going anywhere I will face the public at all, I have to put my best feminine face forward. I am very fortunate in that I have the process down to a half hour.

I operate on the cusp of a very sharp double edged sword. At the best I came into to this ultra serious game at the best marginally presentable. These days without the help of surgery and with the help of hormones (HRT) I can navigate the world. Most importantly I have to look like I'm not trying-like any other cis woman.

I guess if I had any advice, practice makes perfect and don't get discouraged. No matter how hard you try, there most likely someone who will "sniff" you out and make your business their business. These days too, a sizable percentage of people are attracted to your transgender-ness. Sort of like the drive thru window girl yesterday who commented on my "LGBT rainbow ring." She liked it :)

I am not a proponent either of cis women who let themselves go which in the slightly upscale area I live in, I don't see many.

On the other hand, I attended one of Liz's weight loss classes Saturday and saw my share of cis women dressed in workout garb. I am not quite to that point in my dressing to blend development. The fun part was no one paid my much attention. They were more impressed I came as her support person than if I was or wasn't transgender.

Finally, no matter how grumpy I am, I need to carry Connie's famous accessory..."FFS" . A fast and friendly smile. Especially if I am going out before my morning coffee!

Football Bigot?

From Connie:

"I guess I'm a football bigot. I just assumed she played American football until I got half-way through the post, only to find that she played soccer. So, is she paying forward or is she playing forward? Maybe both, I suppose. :-)

Cultures that recognize a third gender are few and far between, and although it is certainly worthwhile to educate the rest of the world that a third gender is recognized somewhere else. However, I have doubts that general worldwide acceptance will come about through a third gender view of trans people. The major religions would have to subscribe to it first, I think. Governments may be more apt to move toward the notion, but, as we can see in the US now, there is volatility on that front. I do find it interesting that she spoke in North Carolina, though."

More work needs to be done on recognizing the ancient Native American Indian cultures who also accepted a "third gender". In fact, some recognized a "dual or two spirited" person to be very special.

Two-Spirited Marchers San Francisco Pride 2014

It's unfortunate the major religions you write of have lost that path of thought. What an easier life we would have as transgender women and trans men.

Also, moving too far out of the traditional gender binaries for many seems to be too difficult to grasp somehow, along with other facets of modern society. Thus returning to a simplistic religious belief mechanism, among other things.

Paying Forward

From RNZ:

"A star of the award-winning film about American Samoa's national football team has given the keynote address at the 40th Annual Conference of the East Coast Asian American Student Union at Raleigh, North Carolina.

Jaiyah Saelua talked about her experience of sex discrimination at a college campus in Hawaii, how football and the film Next Goal Wins, in which she starred have opened doors for her and how faaSamoa embraces and accepts faafafine like herself as the third gender and as human beings.

The East Coast Asian American Student Union mission is to inspire, educate and empower Asian American & Pacific Islander students in higher education."

Jaiyah Saelua speaking at the East Coast Asian American Student Union conference. Photo: Supplied

"In 2009 when Saelua was dismissed from the University of Hawaii Hilo men's soccer team tryouts, she said it felt that she didn't have a voice.

But she told the conference that the title of being the first transgender in the world to play in a FIFA World Cup Qualifier gave her that voice.

She said it gave her an international platform and a responsibility to be the voice of many others like herself.

She pondered whether to remain in American Samoa and continue to live comfortably in an atmosphere that respects her, while the world of football continued to be completely careless to transgender interests, or whether she should capitalize on this opportunity to make a difference in the world."

For more, follow the link above.

Laverne Cox and the Politics of Trans Beauty

From the Daily Beast, a lengthy post about Trans is Beautiful becoming more than just a hash tag:

"In 2015, transgender actress Laverne Cox told the world that “trans is beautiful.” Two years later, there’s proof of that everywhere you look.

Carmen Carrera

Take just the past 30 days, for instance: Transgender model Carmen Carrera walked the runway at Chromat’s New York Fashion Week show, YouTube star and fashion icon Gigi Gorgeous released a new documentary, and Cox has been rocking the awards-show red carpet—as well as the press circuit for her new CBS drama Doubt—in an array of stunning dresses and gowns, like the remarkable one-shoulder chain-link get-up that she wore to the Grammys.

But wait, there’s more: French Vogue announced its first transgender cover model Valentina Sampaio, model Anjali Lama became the first transgender woman to model at India’s Lakmé Fashion Week, and teenage transgender TV star Jazz Jennings got her very own doll sporting a white beret and a tiered tulle skirt.

And there is so much more! Go here.

Boy Meets Girl

Following our Cyrsti's Condo post concerning the premier of "Doubt" with Laverne Cox, Paula Goodwin astutely mentioned the movie "Boy Meets Girl" with another transgender actress Rebecca Root.

The film is on my list of "must see's" which I just haven't seen yet! Thanks Paula :)

Connie also commented on the show:

"I was unable to catch the premier (Doubt) last night, but it's probably "on demand". I'm disappointed, too, about the "reveal" - especially right off the bat. Not knowing the question to which she responded, I don't know if her response was a very good one. I consider myself to have been a woman all my life; I only played the part of a man because I had to. 

I think most of us come to this realization at some point, and I'm sure Laverne, herself, has. Being a transgender woman is hard enough to explain, anyway, but it bothers me when one of us is portrayed as a "woman who used to be a man". The answer to someones question should either be, "It's none of your business" or "Do you really want to learn something?". Of course, an attorney is going to charge for every minute of the lesson if it's done in her office! :)"

Connie, since it is on CBS and if the ratings are half way decent, I am sure they will show it again! Plus since the transgender subject has already been covered, maybe that will be the last we will see of it.

Vogue Paris with a First

Transgender Brazilian model and actor Valentina Sampaio to grace the cover of Vogue Paris.

Doubts?

The new CBS legal drama Doubt premiered last night with transgender actress Laverne Cox in a prominent role.

A long-time advocate for the transgender community, Laverne Cox made history as the first transgender actress to play a transgender series regular on a broadcast television show when the legal drama Doubt premiered on CBS Thursday night.

While I was thrilled to see Laverne in the role, I wasn't so sure I was pleased when she explained to a client that yes, she used to be a man, but was now a woman. Somehow I had hoped the writers would let her play the character without ever mentioning she was transgender at all.

However, Tony Phelan and Joan Rater, Grey's Anatomy alums and the husband-and-wife creators of Doubt, wrote the part of Cameron with Cox in mind.  But they knew she was on Orange, so they assumed that she was unavailable, and were ready to conduct a nationwide talent search to find the person who was going to play Cam.. But Laverne Cox jumped at the idea to play the role.

Plus a deeper trans connection with the show comes from the producers very own transgender son, an actor who had gotten a lot of press at the time for playing the recurring role of Cole, a transgender teen living in a group home on the ABC Family series The Fosters.

Some day perhaps, we all will be recognized as people...not trans people. But until the day, Doubt is a great start.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"Being a guy was easier...it was just killing me doing it."

Jessie Hart

Hostility Too

Recently, I had the rare distinction of being bluntly mis-pronouned twice in one day.

The first was at one of my Veterans Administration appointments when the nurse called me "Mr." I simply told her to "can the Mr. and we would be OK" and she profusely apologized.

The second was not so easy.

For the first time recently I attended a transgender/crossdresser support group here in Cincinnati. Most of the group was attended by younger delightful transgender couples with a trans man mixed in and a couple cross dressers-one with his wife.

She was trying hard to be understanding and supportive but as a self professed ultra conservative person she was struggling. First of all, she was what I call a "sandpaper person", or a person who just rubs on people the wrong way. (Me at least.)

At one point, she made a point of going around the table telling everyone she knew their birth gender. I was good and didn't say I wasn't sure about her's. Which I wasn't at the beginning.

Then later, cross dresser "hubby" called me "him" and I about went ballistic. You would have thought HE would have been the last person in the room to call me him. Perhaps he won't from now on.

I suppose I should have more patience, but I just don't and normally give someone the benefit of the doubt unless HE is wearing a little black dress 4 inch heels and full makeup to a weekday meeting at a church.

Hell, I am calm...can't you tell? :)