What REALLY Matters

Recently I read a post from Paula Goodwin. She was writing about how she feels a certain strong "bonding and friendship" with a few peeps on the web. Even though she has never met.

I feel the same way for a couple reasons.  One of which is those you who I share an almost an unreal transgender bond. The second is a how much empathetic feedback I get on certain items-which makes the small stuff-well, the small stuff.

These comments came from Connie and Shelle on the Cyrsti's Condo post "It Seems Kind of Cruel."

First Connie: "Cyrsti, So sorry. I was praying that you wouldn't have to take this step, and that they'd be able to get your condition under control by other means. Of course, I want you to get better, but maybe they'll discover that the estrogen was not a contributor after a few months. And maybe, as Liz alluded to, you will find that the hormones were far less important to your transition than you might have thought. At least you've had four years to develop your softer side, and I'd be disappointed only if you should return to the cynical asshole I knew you to be before. :-) I will continue to pray for you."

Thanks Connie! I can use all the prayers you send my way and Liz said it was her-not HRT that brought out the softer side :)

Next Shelle: "Dearest Cyrsti
I'm so sorry to hear about your,having to go off your HRT,It's very hard for anyone who has never experienced the real help,hormone therapy makes for ,I'm certain you will miss it.
Can you at least continue with the androgen blocker?
Anyway my thoughts will be with you going forward.
Hugzz Shell"

Shell, I can continue with my androgen blockers thanks.

One thing for sure, you two helped me to understand what really matters out here in our little transgender woman tribe! Your comments meant a lot!

Luv ya both :)

It's Time Trans Peeps!

U.S. Trans Survey (Closes 9/21) ***From helenboyd If you haven't yet taken NCTE's current trans survey, get to it! It will close on Monday, 9/21, & it's important they hear all your voices. By *all*, I mean especially those who tend not to do online surveys or who are otherwise often cut out by mainstream trans representation: those who have stayed married crossdressers who identify as trans* genderqueer individuals older trans people trans people of color Please, folks, this is your chance to get counted. If you tried before and it didn't work, do try again: they've got a fitter system in place.

Seems Kind of Cruel

I knew it was coming, as sure Fall is in the air around here on the Ohio River-yesterday my endocrinologist said "Get off the estrogen Cyrtsi." It's quite possible he said that it is a major contributor to what is ailing me.

I was semi proud of myself and kept my composure long enough to ask him was he sure and was it a permanent move. He was nice enough to say we are going to try it for three months and see what happens. I am pretty sure he knew not to try to B.S a Bullshitter and we both knew HRT was always going to be a risk at my age anyhow. So, I seriously doubt anymore estrogen will be in my future.

Enter Liz at this point: I was sad to the point of tears (damn hormones!) But, she pointed out if I really wanted to give all the credit for my MtF gender transition to drugs-maybe I was really shortchanging myself. As you may or may not remember, we have been together from day #1 about four years ago when I started HRT.

So, here I sit, rightly or wrongly beginning to rebuild again upon a couple facets of my life I enjoyed. Seems sort of cruel that I used to enjoy a fine Cincinnati craft beer and I used to enjoy the effects of estrogen on my body-and the Doc's took them both away. Then again, I will enjoy a good cup of coffee even more now and savor the healing effects my body will be now going through. Which in fact I already am.

Somehow I was allowed to burn my fuse at both ends for as long as I could. Now it's time to "trans up" and face the future. Not to worry!

Have You Heard?

During my seemingly endless search for extra information on the transgender scene, I ran into this following a link I have with the Dayton (Ohio) LGBT Center :

Current Locations:

• Dayton, OH
• Phoenix, AZ
• Nashville, TN

Contact us know if you want to see us in YOUR City!!!

The mission of the Gatlyn Dame Group is to raise awareness, provide education, and an outlet for Transgender, Non-Conforming Gender Identity Persons, and their Allies.

We are a non-profit organization that raises awareness, and provides education, support, and outlets for Transgender Persons and Non-Conforming Gender Identity Persons, and their allies. 

The purpose of this organization is to fulfill the mission stated by offering several different platforms to express their identity including the various art forms and educational support groups throughout the United States.

On of our ultimate goals is to have the different outlets and support groups available in every state.  We already have a vast amount of interest in several states.  We are already working on Chapters in Ohio, Tennessee, and Arizona. 

We are hoping to achieve a national "Hotline" for transgender, non-conforming gender identity persons, and their allies within the next six months. We will also hold four (4) National Events throughout the country every year.  The National Events will consist of several educational conferences along with different outlets that can express themselves through art and music, along with gaining a real sense of support, family, and comradery.

GatlynDameGroup@gmail.com

Board Members:

Devin Dame

Gage Gatlyn

Randy Phillips

Gunner Gatlyn

Jordan Allen

Allison Cox

What's in a Age?

Perhaps you Cyrsti's Condo regulars have noticed I have been thinking a bit too much about age recently. Some of it has to do with my first real serious illness of my life, turning 66 and my speaking engagement Friday night.

knowing for sure (I'm sure the organizers don't either)-I'm guessing the group will be a relatively youthful LGBTQ blend. With a liberal mix of "allies."

Fortunately for them, they have not allotted any of us much time to be "talking heads" and bore everyone to sleep. On the other hand, my challenge is to make my time more clear and impactful.

My game plan is pretty clear. If nothing else, I am a gender survivor. The younger members of the group will most certainly be able to see that. So, a quick mention should do and lets keep moving. I identify "she and her" as a MtF transgender woman who happens to be a trans vet.

My next priority will be to keep them engaged past the first few minutes - when many speakers dissolve into "white noise". In other words, how much of what I am saying means anything to them.  That's tough because I think the allies and parents in the group may be more apt to listen-longer.

Finally, the organization hosting the evening : Love Must Win pretty much sums up my part of the evening with it's name. For no particular divine reason I have been "allowed" to hang around in this world to see too many amazing changes to even count-including those attached to human gender. 

The toughest thing to tell anyone (for me) is to be patient. A HUGE cop out. On the other hand, the only constant is change. Plus, the platforms for positive LGBTQ change continue to progress. (Ask Kim Davis.)

We all need to embrace our trans youth with love. I just hope I can help a bit Friday!!!!

Youth Will Inherent the World-Thank Goodness!!

As I head all too quickly towards the double sixes" (66 years old), I watch increasingly with interest what the younger transgender generation is up to. Recently, I ran across this look from Newsweek about the relationship between a young transgender man (coming out) to his lesbian girl friend. 

Freddie Bologno, right, and his girlfriend Tile Wolfe

(Trans man)Freddie Bologno, 27, works at Do Something, a digital organization that helps young people push for social change through social media and text messaging. For Bologno, the text was a way to both come out publicly and start a conversation about being young and transgender. But before coming out to the world, Bologno had to talk to his girlfriend, Tile Wolfe. “I just started crying,” says Wolfe, remembering the moment Bologno said he wanted to start taking hormones to transition from female to male. “Not because I was sad, but because this was suddenly so real.”

Even though I know enough about social media to be semi dangerous, the idea Freddie could text this to 2.4 million people still staggers me.

Bologno continued: “I’ve texted for DoSomething as Alysha for 3yrs, but I’ve been struggling. I'm trans, I'm Freddie!” In many ways he could be speaking for so many of us, in or out of the closet - we are transgender on so many levels  and are NOT going away.

Kim Davis "Study Time?"

This comes from the Huffington Post  and reflects just a bit of the hypocrisy surrounding Kim Davis's stand on same sex marriage:

"Anti-gay marriage clerk Kim Davis is about to get a rude awakening in her hometown.

Non-profit organization Planting Peace just erected the above billboard in Davis' hometown of Morehead, Kentucky. The message is plain and simple -- if Davis is going to use Biblical rhetoric to justify her opposition to same-sex marriage, she might want to take a closer look at how else marriage has been redefined in relation to the book's sacred teachings.

"The intent of this billboard is to expose how the anti-LGBT movement is selective in what rules to follow and how they choose to define 'traditional' institutions or values," Aaron Jackson, president of Planting Peace, told The Huffington Post. "It's important and relevant to call this out, because the actions of Kim Davis and the messages from the anti-LGBTQ movement are not simply about a political or religious debate. There are LGBT youth across the world who are taking their lives at an alarming rate because of these messages from society that make them feel broken or less than. We have to meet hate with love, intolerance with compassion. Our message to our LGBT youth is simple: You are loved, valued, supported, and beautiful. There is nothing wrong with you, and we will stand by you. You are not alone."

As you may (or may not recall) Davis supposedly spent her (paid) jail time studying her bible. You would think with her $80,000 dollar a year salary, she could afford a real bible and with a job like hers, she could be educated enough to understand it.

Cyrsti's Condo Sunday Edition

KerPlunk!  Welcome to an early Fall version of our Sunday round up. Indeed it is nice and cool here in Ohio. Momma Nature is beginning to change. Let's get a hot cup o joe (coffee) and get started.

Page One: The Week That Was-or Wasn't: For me, the week was one of slow recovery - too slow of course for my liking but it is what it is. What I resent the most is the amount of energy it has sapped from my existence. On the bright side, my next treatment is this week. Which will be the second of six.


Also on the bright side, I am extremely pleased to be chosen to be part of a Love Must Win Event coming up this Friday:

Page Two: Opinion: Last week to me was no more than "white noise." I don't know if that was good or bad, but none the less-that what it was. Our struggles continue to go to the grass root levels as an LGBT community. As a matter of fact, just this past week, my Mom's nearby home town became embroiled in a dispute over the rights of a local trans student. 

I care deeply (of  course) about the extremely deep problems we have. Since I am settling into Cincinnati (finally!) I will have a chance to do ore once I have more energy.



Page Three : The Back Page: Well that it's for today. As always thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo!!!

What a Great Country this Is!

Recently, as we were finishing up yet another hot/humid day and I still felt terrible, Liz and I had to go one of the local malls near her to change out a modem she was using.

Earlier in the day, I went to the grocery store and quite possibly ventured out with the least make up I have ever worn. I just said to "hell with it" tied my hair back applied a bit of eye make up and took off. More than likely, my attitude was the least feminine part about me. Just wanted the world to leave me alone. To my surprise, at the grocery, almost everyone did-except one young employee who always seems to appear out of nowhere - and speak to me. I am never aware enough of my immediate surroundings to know if she is the same person. Perhaps she has a transgender friend herself.

All that is cool enough to be sure, but then I have to factor in what I call the gender weather fronts we travel through. For example, we live closer into Cincinnati itself on the East side. For the most part, going from here to downtown where all the real trendy neighborhoods are-the overall LGBT atmosphere is decidedly more liberal. Very quickly, in a short distance though, the weather begins to change. Heading not so far out of town into Clermont County the LGBT vortex takes a deep dive to hell. You still can see a redneck or two with a Confederate flag hanging out of his pickup truck.
  
My "gender vortex" is actually in one of few remaining enclosed malls not too far away.

I do like to walk through that mall which sits on my demarcation point. The other evening, a teen aged girl who missed the Walmart across the street nearly was hit by a car looking at me. Once we were in the mall, a mother and a daughter from India I believe were very "bemused" by me.

Then, on the other hand, were the small groups of kids all dressed in black huddled around a kiosk who paid me no mind at all.

One way or another -I am always careful to stay in the "eye of the storm"