Can't I Be the Butch?

With all due apologies to the multi layered lesbian community, yesterday, I wanted to and got to be the "butch" in Liz and I's relationship. (She is generic and identifies lesbian.)

She was off from her job yesterday and after we finished a few chores she asked if I wanted to take the dogs for a walk.

I said sure, just give me a second to put earrings on plus a tiny bit of makeup and off we went.

Life is good.

Dancing Around the Maypole?

Getting my groove on dancing around the "Maypole", These people are so incredibly kind and embracing I am always astounded every time Liz and I go.

I am sure they were equally astounded by my "dancing" ability!

Sweating the Details

With summer weather around now for many of us, here in Cyrsti's Condo we have been looking just a bit at the effects of the season on us.

First of us, where you happen to identify or have progressed on the HRT ladder means a lot,  Back when I was struggling through my cross dressing years, the warm days of the year were a struggle. I had to wear long sleeves due to arm hair and my make up seemed to run off as fast as I applied it. It was tough. 

I was able to shave my legs before removing any of my arm hair, so the first clothing item I could shed were my hot panty hose and be able to "air cool" my legs and then shop-shop-shop for any sheer tops I could find. 

As far as makeup went, I just tried to go from one air conditioned place to another and do a "touch up." Most of the time I still felt like a wax candle left out in the sun to soften and melt.

As I have transitioned though, summer has become more "user friendly" for me. Starting at the bottom and moving up, I wanted and needed to put more emphasis on my feet if I wanted to wear sandals.  My legs became easier to keep up on since HRT has decreased my body hair (except beard.) As I mentioned my arms became the same way.

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My beard never really changed. I would love to start electrolysis at some point at time-when I can afford it. In the meantime, I am fortunate to have never had a ton of beard growth and what I have is gray. A close shave and I am good for the day.

Overall, the biggest impact of warmer weather is how my body accepts it. I have written how HRT has destroyed my internal thermostat. Now being cold (really cold) in the winter equates out to being able to more comfortable in the summer.

So from fashion to living a full time feminine life summer this year is looking warm and inviting.

Casper - The Furry Ghost

It's 80 degrees around here this week and (to quote an old advertising slogan)- my number one fashion accessory becomes my skin. 

I have a problem. Recently, my partner Liz with all the kindness and gentleness she could muster said "So, what are you going to do with all that "fur" on your skin? And. oh by the way, what did you do with the "Jergens" Natural Glow moisturizer I got you????

"Nuff said!" I know she is fairly sure I need a brick up the side of the head to get my attention: But this time I caught the meaning immediately I may want to rid myself of body hair and Casper the Winter Ghost skin. All of it is extra important this summer (as I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo) because I see this summer as my biggest "coming out" party yet.

Of course doing all the hair removal prep is just a matter of not procrastinating. Plus, since I never wear panty hose of any kind, I need to do an extra better job. It's not like I wear short skirts of any kind but I do have several "fave" longer skirts which feel great with shaved legs and no hose. 

Then, there are the pesky under arm areas to take care of plus the remainder of my arm hair which HRT hasn't taken care of.

So, once again, this girl "thang" ain't easy as any generic will tell you but I can only say I'm thrilled beyond words to be able to transition into this summer. My diet has actually helped to give me a real live feminine shape too. I am like a kid with a new toy, or at least one just back from the repair shop.

Casper doesn't really scare me much either. After all just think of everything else I have been through on my transgender journey.  Many other things were much scarier! 

Yahoo has a whole beauty link to having no hair! See it here.

Too Much Time on Their Minds!

I love it when someone essentially writes a blog post for me: Don't get excited, I didn't see any references to gender friendly restrooms in any of this.Here is a link.

Cyrsti's Condo Vintage Female Impersonation

Wow! I hate to call vintage female impersonation -drag. Especially after I watch any of "Rude Paul's" Drag Race Shows. A case in point is Bobby DeCastro to the left.

What Happens Next?

What if Bruce Jenner was asked (instead of what gender are you going to date) where are you going to pee? Of course we would have heard something to the effect of "we will see, not sure yet. (watch the reality show.) "

In several Cyrsti's Condo previous posts I have mentioned my extreme paranoia of getting tossed back in the closet as my life comes to an end. Better known as the closet in the back of the nursing home. Call me a drama queen (or worse) but it is a real worry for me.But, not the subject of this post. 

As much as I want to say too that "passing privilege" should not be an all encompassing factor to living a feminine life- rest room privilege may be.

The last time I looked, about four states had pending laws designed to foster paranoia against trans women and transgender men-involving using the rest room of our choice.

As much as I haven't had a rest room issue for years, the paranoia is nearly as present with me as getting tossed in the nursing home closet. By then my paper diapers should make the whole idea obsolete?

In the meantime, it is not though. I'm fortunate in that most every place I go (no pun intended) Liz is with me. Even though I don't think she understands my "clear and present danger", she "scouts" with me for "potty break" spots.

On the other hand, it's not me I worry about as much the young transgender kids who really have to face restroom trauma. They just don't seem to be going away as the radical right uses the issue to attack us. 

Most of you know how I have felt about stealth but just being able to use a restroom of our choice forces us into it. I am way past being able to fight my way out of a group of angry peeps waiting outside a restroom-or a cop.

No restroom bills in Ohio-yet. But I am always looking for one to "pop up" like a poisonous mushroom in the Spring.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Welcome! Another issue of our "Sunday Edition" has hit your virtual front porch! Here in O-H-I-O Momma Nature has blessed us with a beautiful day, so let's get started!

Page One.- The Week that Was-or Wasn't:  As the residue (pro or con) of Bruce Jenner's interview continued, the reality of Leelah Alcorn's Christmas time tragic suicide surfaced again. The Ohio Highway Patrol released it's findings. No surprises. The parents put her through "Christian Conversion Therapy" and a suicide note left on her bed at home said it all. I paraphrase (Leelah wrote) "I can't take it anymore." and she went out to a lonely stretch I-71 just north of Cincinnati and summoned a poor semi truck driver to finish the job. The whole week just seemed to highlight the polar differences in the white transgender community. Yes-white. Jenner obviously is a senior entitled person who says he is trans but stays tantalizing on the edge of the process. After all, there is the "reality show" to come. Leelah on the other hand, went to school in a very upscale in the suburbs of Cincinnati. Her misfortune just happened to be who she was born to. Leelah was not an urban inter city trans kid of color who had all of that baggage to deal with. With parental support her story could have been one of success. Speaking of "parental support" (or lack of) check out Maria's recent post on her blog: "A Cross Dresser's Wife."

Page Two.- Holiday Season? Well not "holiday" in the strictest sense but in the upcoming weeks, it is Prom time, Mother's day and even summer class reunions. An interesting time. Last week we wrote a post called Prom Daze and of course Mother's Day is till to come. Mother's Day holds interest in a number of area's; on a shallower level what title we take on as Mtf transgender women with our kids. On a deeper level, what our mothers meant to us. Were they role models, inhibited us or worse. Finally there are class reunions.  None of us need a degree in math to figure out we "more mature" trans women are perilously close to a "50th Class Reunion." As Connie said:  Well, in a couple of years you can see what happens at your 50th class reunion. You just might win the award for "Most Changed".

Page Three.- Reuniting with Whom? As i stands now, if I live a couple more years, I won't go to my first class reunion ever. There are several whys and most have nothing to do with me being trans. First of all, I transferred into the high school and my Mom taught there, so more than likely more would remember having her as a teacher, than me at all. That's all good-I have no problem. What I do have a problem with was a class "committee" listing me as one of the peeps they couldn't find years ago when I was running the most popular restaurant in town. Plus, I was also finishing up a term as president of a very active civic organization. So, if going would make some sort of positive transgender statement-I would go. But, just to be some sort of entertainment...count someone else in. 

Page Four.-The Back Page: It's time to pack up my old dog and get out and enjoy the sun on this incredible day! I hope the sun shines on all of you and life is good!!! Thanks for visiting Cyrsti's Condo and please take a moment to send a positive vibration or two to the earthquake ravaged people in Nepal. 

Street Smarts?

I can't begin to tell you the amount of pure terror I felt when I began to open the closet and venture into the world as a cross dresser.

Most assume it would be a natural reaction to the radical idea of turning your gender world upside down. 

When I saw one of the pictures of Eddie Redmayne who stars as transgender woman Danish artist, Einer Wegener.in the upcoming movie "The Danish Girl."

Two things stood out. The first of course Redmayne presents as a convincing woman but more pressing- was how "frail" he looked.  

Then it occurred to me, what may have scared me more than presentation fears were as I went out and began stripping myself of what I call the security of male privilege. There was no doubt I had it with my size and how I carried myself. I also found out quickly how much my life would change as I transitioned. 

Most certainly, gender privilege is a slippery slope. Some see a "privilege" as the opposite. I don't know though how anyone can argue most men enjoy more security in society. The picture of Eddie Redmayne just reinforces my point.