Yet Another Chance for the Military

In typical government fashion, congress, politicians and career bureaucrats, Defense Secretary Hagle is out the door and Ashton Carter is  being "interviewed" for the job.  Now Washington has a huge chance to fix the biggest hypocrisy going on in our country today - How we treat transgender military members. Carter should answer a question without a doubt about what he would do if appointed..But-

I don't think there is a cold chance in Washington,  he will say anything other than he understands  the issue is under "study"- yeah right-but he doesn't know for sure. Then again he could and will look into the phantom study. 

Well,  you military members know if  Carter is approved-his "short timers" calendar will start. New president in a couple years and out he goes to some sort of cushy consulting job and yet a new study.

As you all know, I am a transgender vet and at one time in my past I served my country for the right to lose mine when I came out.  Can you tell I have strong feelings????

Check this story from Salon

The New "It" Girls?

Some times I wonder if I get excited about all the glitz and sometimes glamour of the sudden "it" value of being transgender.  Then I heard about Diane Sawyer and the upcoming Bruce Jenner interview and then found out trans woman  Zoey Tur, formerly known as “Chopper Bob,” would be joining "Inside Edition" as a special corespondent during February.  I thought damn! This is great until I saw the Zoey Tur piece. I don't whose idea was to dress her up like the stereotypical cross dresser at the mall but I just cringed and left the room.  Jenner indeed maybe the most serious and conscience person embarking on a MtF gender transition in the world- but the Kardashian media circus roots make me worry.


Now, I think the true future of the transgender community rests with individuals like the trans woman's story below:  

It was 2 a.m. when Danielle Piergallini composed an email to classmates at Vanderbilt University’s Owen Graduate School of Management announcing she was transgender. She had spent her first semester in the M.B.A. program presenting as male and worried what kind of response she would get after she clicked “send.” She now holds a senior position at American Airlines. 

Or:  
Marnie Florin, (left) who identifies as gender neutral and now works at Google, organized a trans training program at Columbia Business School last year after meeting an incoming transgender student.


If you noticed, both of these individuals come from a couple of very prestigious schools.  Great examples of how bright the future can be out of the bright circus lights being the new "It" culture! Much different than the "it" I used to be called.

Cyrsti's Condo "From the Hart"

Cyrsti's Condo "Woman of the Day"

Danielle Marelli is a 20 something  transsexual movie and television actress from Orlando, Florida. Born male on July 16, 1991, Danielle grew up a feminine child and was diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder of Children at age 8 years old and began to transition.

Cyrsti's Condo "S"and "D"

On occasion I still run across the individual who dismisses quickly they could never look like a woman.  Truly, I have happened along a few of men who looking feminine at all would be a real process....but-

There are just as many men who won't/can't put the work into an exterior passing presentation. At the least, logic tells us you need to start with the basics.  You need to watch your weight and take care of your skin.

Lately, to get ahead of the summer fashion curve, I have been stepping up my game.  It's no fun to diet by yourself and don't you just have to have a diet to talk to another woman about? Now I do, and yes it is working.  Of course, as my snarky sister in law commented "well, men lose weight faster than women anyhow." I shot back " How bout a man who has been on female hormones for two years?"

So far so good, I have lost a certain amount of poundage which I can talk about in feminine circles and make me look a little better.

As far as my skin goes, facing 65 years of wear and tear in the mirror is tough but the best I can do is take care of what I have.  Again I have fallen back on Liz's expertise on moisturizers and skin cleansers etc.

It's quite the project! On the bright side, you guys are now allowed to take better care of your skin and hair. So, being a cross dresser isn't so dramatic.  Just forget about the 3 minute grooming process before work in the morning!

A "Piece of Tail?"

So much going on in my life now, it seems as if I will have to grow a tail to chase it just to try to stay up.

In no particular order (or importance) let's talk about the pure vanity of presenting the absolute best feminine look you can-then living with it and living with it.  I began to think about the differences in my exterior life now than back in the day- when I was just starting to make my way in the world.  As Seattle Seahawk fan Connie Malone said after the extremely ill fated pass at the goal line which cost them the Super Bowl (I paraphrase) "The Seahawks aren't alone-most of us have made bad choices when we have tried to "pass.". As any of my generic readers such as Liz and Maria would say "it's all in the details!"

Weekend details for me included yet another round of my endless battle against gray hair and Liz colored away. Lately, I have been having fun running around yelling "The Moose is Loose!" I have been trying to master the "science" of hair mousse. If I do it right, after shampooing and conditioning I love the soft curls the mousse gives me when my hair dries.

Interestingly, all of this activity has led to less intense "socializing" and more "just living." I'm turning the corner from being this "entrancing" critter I see in the mirror to damn I'm old! And what's up with people just accepting me as a person?

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Cyrsti's Condo "Really Dear?"

Come on honey, you really didn't know someone was "playing" in your clothes?

(Unidentified cross dresser)

Whats In A Name Change?

I can not describe the trauma involved with being seated in a Doctor's waiting room, knowing full well someone is going to scream out my very male name. My recent Cyrsti's Condo post on the sudden military's reversal on changing gender markers on a transgender veteran's DD 214. gives me hope I won't have to much longer. As most of you know, I am a trans vet and under VA health care and suddenly the news leaked out the military had changed genders on  a few discharge forms.  Truthfully, I don't know for sure the steps I need to take to apply to get my 214 changed to stop the madness but I now know the light at the end of the tunnel is not the train! There is a chance!

My only real problem is that I am lazy, I have a very androgynous picture on my drivers license, all my friends and the greatest majority of the world pronouns me correctly-so gender markers are on one of my burners-somewhere.  As I have said though, since I am retired on Social Security, I don't have to worry about finding a job as a transgender woman-a huge deal with the wrong gender markers.

Now, I also received this comment: 

Maria HardingFebruary 1, 2015 at 9:23 PM

I really hadn't really thought about it until I read your article then, as I read the first couple of paragraphs here, I was saying to myself, oh no, they can't do that. Then, I absolutely agree if someone has the civilian id then yes. Make it complete. Really good article Cyrsti. Thank you so much for opening my eyes

Thanks to you Maria!  Yes, gender markers are almost as big as deal as the physical transition itself.  It's a daunting task to go back and attempt to erase all vestiges of one's former gender life.  I have read stories of one trans woman who ran into problems (of all places) at her dog's veterinarian.  After all, one bigot in a system seeking to make some sort of statement is all you need to jam a wrench in your life.

But all is getting better-in some places.  My friend Racquel just celebrated her legal name change this week as did my friend Draco years ago.  Here in Ohio though-we are stuck with our birth gender on our birth certificates as I write this.  Getting a passport and a new social security card is not impossible either.  My problems come with playing with Social Security at all and risk my retirement check.

I am sure all of you who have journeyed down the gender marker route at all probably have different stories depending on where you live.  One fact remains-transitioning is not for sissies!