Hows That Working For 'Ya?'

Every once in a while I try to pause and look around at life as a transgender person and I see for certain, there is no right or wrong way to do this. Lately, seemingly one major change has been I haven't read much recently from groups I call the "Rad Fem's" or the "Trans Nazi's" and more from those describing their experiences: Like-

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJanuary 22, 2015 at 6:52 PM

I use my own voice when I sing. I used to wonder if people were taking me for a drag queen - or even an "impersonator". What I learned, though, is that, by just being genuine and true to myself, people have accepted me as just that. This doesn't apply only to being an entertainer, however, as being genuine and true to oneself always will reap great reward. If you doubt who you are, people will doubt if you are (or worse, "what" you are).

And:

PamJanuary 22, 2015 at 11:29 PM

Crysti, I definitly agree about the Columbus, Ohio being more accepting then other parts of Ohio. I live in Westerville a suburb. My form of advocacy involves being open about myself where I work, the groups I belong to (non-trans) and at church. This give people a chance to see we are mostly just like them and not some exotic person that they find offensive.

Using a well worn term from the "old country" - "you is what you is and not what you ain't." No amount of surgery or HRT is going to change you but it will change how you view the world...a difference almost as big as being a cross dresser to being a transgender person. My partner Liz used to be fond of telling me how wonderful it was for me to be able to reinvent myself.  Then we learned together that wasn't quite the case. I was just me all along, just hidden.  Sometimes good-sometimes not so good.

Then again: 

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJanuary 22, 2015 at 6:14 PM

I don't think that we can ever wipe out, completely, sixty-years-worth of all the crap. Maybe if we were given sixty more years to do so? Well, only if I can still wear my 4" heels - otherwise, I can't imagine getting that old. I've managed to make it through a whole day without thinking of my "condition", but the fact that I finally came to realize that I had done that, patting my own back for it only makes me realize that I've got a long way to go yet.

Don't we all!

The Doc, The Resident and the Vampires.

It seems like ages since I began my HRT odyssey with the Veteran's Administration when in fact it has been nearly four years if we go back to my initial meetings with a VA therapist.

Yesterday, I hit a new level of sorts as I was finally able to land an appointment with a VA endocrinologist for the first time.  In the years past, my local  smallish hospital didn't have a full time one who would see me, so after fighting and fighting, my visits to an "outsider" were paid for.

My disclaimer on all of this is I have never had a problem with my overall care.  I think the great majority of the people who work within the VA system have a very difficult job to do. Not to mention our government (like it or not) will go off and fight any number of wars without looking forward to how they are going to provide proper care for those who fought them. Another blog post.

My visits to my old endo doc were for the most part, no harm-no foul. Check my vitals to make sure I was still alive, check my estrogen and testosterone levels, get my new "scripts" and "see ya!" Yesterday, my new Doc actually called out my name into the waiting room and asked me if he did it right (he did-I hate when they call Mr. Hart!) and we got started.

For the first time ever as a trans woman, I was really examined. Take off your sweater, drop your drawers kind of exam followed of course by 6,000 questions.  To add to the "fun" was the third year medical student who was accompanying the Doc. The first thing he asked me was "She had never met a transgender person, could she stay?" It turns out she was more fascinated by me, than I am on the mornings when I can't seem to put one foot ahead of another. Her presence in the room definitely provided me a first.  During my 50 plus years of adult life, I have never been "examined" by both genders at the same time-with breasts.

All too soon, my appointment was over and I was off to the "vampires" to give yet another three vials of blood which lately have seemed to get lost in the system. The good news was-this guy really knew what he was doing.

Perhaps my interaction with the Doc in training was the gift which will keep on giving.  She asked several times if I would come talk to her class at a local university about how to treat and NOT treat a transgender patient. Example from my last visit to old Doc- Note to residents- Do NOT make your first question- who do you have sex with-men or women after mis-pronouning you.

Finally, the Doc scheduled another appointment for three months from now and the only major change so far is I'm going on an Estrogen patch and off the pill. I will let you know of any other changes - like an unplanned pregnancy!

They Should Have Just Asked!

I saw this post on theFrisky:

 A study by the University of Basel discovered there’s some truth to the cliched belief that men and women process their feelings differently. Maybe John Gray was on to something?  The study, which will be published in the Journal of Neuroscience, “focused on determining the gender-dependent relationship between emotions, memory performance and brain activity.” The results show that women find intense imagery more emotionally stimulating than men, and are more likely to remember those images.

Previous studies have found that people are more likely to remember emotionally charged events than neutral events, and that women consider such events more emotionally stimulating than guys do. Researchers set out to determine whether this is the reason women do better than men on memory tests. 

What a radical idea?  Of course, results may vary but if you identify as a transgender woman or transgender man, you just knew this was true. And, when and if you decide to start HRT (again results will vary) you really will know how true this is.

At some point in time, maybe every research study on differences between the binary genders will at the least include ideas from those of us who have crossed the gender frontiers.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Seize the power!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Gender Blender"

Meet Kyle Farmery described as a New York City night life "princess."

Activism versus Advocacy?

Recently, I have written seemingly tons of posts here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning the Leelah Alcorn tragedy and it's aftermath.  And- I have received tons of response too.  The difference for me now is, I am receiving input not only through the blog but also through places such as Facebook,  Google+ and through personal interaction.  Even my personal interaction is different because of all the different groups I'm interacting with. For the most part, no one I have run into has ever encountered another transgender person.

On Google+, Jenny sent me a great comment questioning (among other things) the true reasons certain individuals or groups of peeps are now jumping on the transgender "band wagon." Specifically she used my example of the mayor of Dayton, Ohio speaking at the recent Leelah Alcorn vigil. Why and were there hidden political reasons? I believe she did feel terrible about the tragedy but yes it is true - Dayton has an ever growing strong LGBT presence. I'm sure an "advisor" was speaking to her political need to be there.

Certainly, I can't speak to the longevity of any political support-except to say- both mayoral candidates in Dayton supported LGBT groups.  To the most jaded of you all (included me) I say-follow the money!  While so many of the well heeled bible thumpers have concentrated on building castles, LGB groups have been building communities. All of the sudden, we "T"s are becoming visible.  Tragically, Leelah never realized how close she was.

Also, around central and southwestern Ohio at least, all any city of any size only has to look at the example of the very diverse LGBT society in Columbus, Ohio as a model of economic success.  A subject for another post!

So, I think when considering the longevity of any transgender acceptance movement, you have to "follow the money." In my geographic area (which is considered far less than liberal except for Columbus) the more trans women and transgender men who are able to establish themselves in jobs, the more advocates we will have and the fewer activists we will need.

OMG!!! Am I Turning into My Mother?

One of the most common terms I hear from generics my age or less is "I am turning into my mother!" I assume they are telling the truth because I never met their Moms and the whole idea is bad.  On the other hand, I have met mine and yes, there are more than a few interesting comparisons.

First of all,  some of us resemble our Mom's.  In my family, it was clear from the beginning-my brother resembled my Dad while I resembled Mom. I know that alone does not make the person transgender. Most of us go on to grow and be masculinized -a "male" version of her.  Early pictures of her Dad made it clear where my genetics came from.

I'm sure generics feel the same way when they look in the mirror and I know they do when they act a certain way and  I'm beginning to feel the same.  All of a sudden, I am seeing all sorts of prime examples of how I am rapidly "syncing" up my personality with hers- and not in a good way.

She was the woman who would kick the drivers door in a cross walk on a car that cut through against the traffic light.  She was the 70 year old who would accelerate her Buick up a hill to cut off another driver driving trying to take her lane. Perhaps, most important of all, was her life long willingness to say pretty much what she wanted-when she wanted to say it. My Dad was decidedly more laid back.

I have accepted I resemble her and I have a real tendency to act like her.  My problem is in the series of "switches" I have had to gone through to accommodate myself.  As I made it through life, I could very much "bluff" my way through a macho existence and was left to my own "mouth."  Then of course as my "male privlidge" began to fade slowly as I grew older and then departed totally as I entered gender HRT transition- away it went. Not particularly a great time to showcase my sarcastic humor (?) on an unsuspecting public.

So I am stuck with all the genetic switches my Mom passed on and I can see them too in my 30 something daughter.  It's very ironic how much I am turning into my mother-more than she ever would want to know.

One thing is for sure-  She would not have hesitated to tell me her opinion on my transgender status and I wouldn't have hesitated to tell her I didn't care.

Boy Meets Trans Girl?

You bet ya and there is a film being released on the subject- and -are you sitting down-it stars a real live transgender woman actress. Michelle Hendley (left) is even a mid western girl and lives in  Columbia, Missouri.

Check out the movie's site here.

I watched one of the trailers and I ended up laughing and crying! For a trans person this looks to be the real deal!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

To the best of my knowledge this is not a transgender woman wearing a quote I love!