Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Well honey, I kind of was going out with the boys tonight and I  kind of was going fishing!"

It's Backwards Both Ways!

I'm afraid you all got a glimpse into the contortions my mind goes through with Mandy and Jen and who was going to L.A.! (And who was already there)  Liz always tells me it's a good thing I'm pretty.  A better answer is, it's a good thing-for the most part I can keep my dyslexia to a low roar, stay in the present and roll through life.

One of my best examples of me being me happened in one of the workshops I sat in on at Trans Ohio, which was for therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists.  All of them attended to get extra degree credits and hopefully understand more about what makes transgender women and men tick. (I wanted to see what made them tick!)  They were licking their chops to get at me when I told them I was bi-polar, dyslexic and happened to be transgender. I would have counseled them for half of what they charge!

Getting back to the point at hand- this was the mix up:

Cyrsti,

To set the record straight, I'm the girl planning to do some sightseeing en-femme in LA early next year... How much and where is still up in the air...

Jen: As time gets closer, and I get further into what I plan to do (and when,) we can revisit this. I'd love to meet you for lunch, if somehow you can get down to the Union Station area...that's where I'll be the day I leave town. Just not sure of the date yet. I'm not brave enough to either drive very far in the city, or try city buses en femme. 

Hopefully this summer will give me enough practice that I can feel more comfortable in my feminine persona. That's something I still need to work on. And I have to view myself from the woman's standpoint, not the man's! Great advice...

Mandy

Jen is the one who works on Hollywood Blvd, very near the Chinese Theater! Whew!!!

I'm going to end this post now while I think I have all of this together.  The bottom line is - even if I'm confused, I still love you all interacting!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Don't Tell!"

PLEASE don't tell my Mom the womanless beauty pageant at school was last week!

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

"Guess who I found sneaking out the back door with his new friends...in my wig?  My, my -won't this selfie look good on FB?

A Night with Pat's Wife

Now that I got your attention, I have never met Pat's wife.  In fact, I have never met Pat in person either. What I do know is Pat and I share a similar age and path to where we have arrived today. I just made a turn a couple years ago and started a pesky bunch of meds called hormone replacement therapy.

I do hope neither of them dislike the fact I'm speculating what I would learn if I did have a chance to sit down for a one on one with Pat's wife. For simplicity, I'm going to call her Ms. P and I have never attempted a post like this before-so bear with me.  For all I know she has never read Cyrsti's Condo for any number of reasons.  I know my wife considered I never had any bad influences-I was the bad influence.

First and foremost,  Pat's words bring back strong memories of my deceased wife.  If she was still alive and got together with Ms.P,  I can only wonder what they would say about both of us.  I can never be certain, but I think my wife never told any of her friends about my gender struggles.  She never knew any other spouses of cross dressers she could talk to.  I can blame some of that on the age we lived in- with the lack of knowledge and social media.  But I do know my wife thought our problems were our business-only.  I wonder if Ms P was/is like that too?

How would Ms P approach my wife about the obvious with me.  I was on a path which would take me to a closer threshold of femininity than she was comfortable with and the end result was a self destructive behavior which would lead to the end anyhow. (Coming up in a future "Comet" post.)

Would Ms P and my wife discuss how our gender dysphoria was not what they signed up for?  Certainly genetic women are the stronger family types of the binary genders but when is enough enough?  Sure they love us -but...

Or maybe the two would look back and share crazy stories of Pat and I trying to grow as cross dressers and in my case failing miserably.  Is it easy for us to think of them going through all of this with some sort of knowing humor?

Here's what I think my night with Ms. P would be like.  She would want to know about my wife and our relationship and what would have happened if she had lived on and I continued down the path to HRT and a transgender life.  She would also want to know now what my life has become and how I react to it.  Even perhaps, she would ask how Pat and I differ.

All I know is, over my 30 or so years in the cross dressing and transgender worlds, there is precious little feedback from the genetic women who from through no fault of their own, find themselves smack dab in the middle of it.  Ms. P and all you other genetic spouses-I certainly sympathize and would love to totally understand why we are here.  I don't understand it myself.

Finally, the easy stuff-Ms. P I know my hair is way too long for a 65 year old woman but I have waited a half century to grow it and I know- I wear too much eye makeup.  So once we get all that girl talk out of the way, I love your earrings and the night was fun!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Life and Diversity Equals Love!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

The newest "Penis Enlarger" on the market is...a Magnifying Glass!

Retweeted from Qweerty on Twitter

What Would Daniel Boone Say?

If you were asked what the next "Frontier" for human rights was going to be (or is), would you say just peeing in a public restroom? If you face "potty panic" as a transgender woman or transgender man-you might. Often times, the public will give you your gender space until you just have to pee.
We talk about the potty quite a bit around here in Cyrsti's Condo, as we did in my workshop at Trans Ohio and Bobbie was kind enough to further this discussion by sending in this story from the Globe and Mail and the University of Toronto.

Here is an excerpt:

One day this spring a team of volunteers set out to scour the dark recesses of the University of Toronto. Their aim: to catalog and map every public bathroom on the downtown campus.

This was not a bizarre geographer’s quest, but part of a broader trend affecting schools, offices and all manner of public spaces across the country. The humble public toilet is under pressure. Changing times have brought new demands from religious groups, people with disabilities, parents of young children and the elderly, all of whom are pushing for amendments to the traditional architecture of stalls, sinks and urinals.

(It didn't take the) scholars who have studied the way we organize bathrooms to point out to us that it’s sensitive territory. Bathrooms have played a role in major social shifts, from the emergence of women in the public sphere, to racial desegregation to the opening of opportunities for the disabled.

“The toilet [is] a symbol of exclusion or inclusion. Do you provide for people or not?” said Barbara Penner, who teaches architectural history at University College London. “I’ve always thought of bathrooms as a very useful index of status for a variety of social groups.”

Then of course, many in the transgender - cross dresser culture used their ever prevalent male egos to proclaim their success at merely using the women's room was proof of their superiority passing the world as a woman. Even If you are one of the trans nazi's I mentioned above or live deep in your closet-there is something you can do. 

Vote out the socially conservative dinosaurs who won't change the system.

Owning It!

Our "Own it Girl" post here in Cyrsti's Condo, continues to generate incredible feedback from some of you regulars-including some who are considering testing the mainstream waters out of the closet.I am going to try to do my best to wrap your idea's and comments around mine.

The positive part of the internet is the realization many of us are in the same gender transition boat-no matter where we live.  Take Jen's comment for an example and compare it with where I am in Ohio or Shelle is in rural Indiana.  I'm relatively sure both Shelle and I would trade you places to begin stepping out of the closet, but then again, our problems doing it weren't all that different.

Jen wrote:

""I work on Hollywood Blvd, very near the Chinese Theater. 

At least several times a week, as I'm either driving to and from work, or out walking to lunch, I notice transgender / cross dressing people. I know there is at least one trans person working here too and she is totally accepted! 

Some are like the person I mentioned, where they are just being themselves, not concerned about being out in public or passing so well (yes they own it!) Of course some you wouldn't pick out at all unless you're looking closely.

I always get a thrill if I notice someone (hope!). Yes guilty - I'm often looking to see if I can notice anyone, because I'm always trying to find "looks" that might work for me when I'm en-femme. I try not to make it obvious :-)"

You addressed a couple very interesting points Jen!  It's interesting to me how all of us "look" for other "sisters of the cloth." Just yesterday, I posted a comment from Pat on how her and her wife have an easy time picking out obvious cross dressers / trans women (with style issues) from the crowd. I am going to write a whole new post on the subject which should post tomorrow. (Pat's Wife and I)

Jen, rest assured,  when you can get to the point where you are at the least comfortable with who you are, you will "pass" better than you ever imagined.  Look, I know it's tough and I'm not just blowing smoke up your skirt (if you are wearing one), just take baby steps! One suggestion though. Chances are, those trans girls or cross dressers who are navigating a feminine society took their clues from the genetic women of the world!  We all know a genetic woman's life is so multi layered she learns early how to present for each situation- so she can "pass" too.  Examples could be shopping, picking up the kids, or going out on Saturday night. Whatever the scenario, she has to own it too.  When she is "feeling it" the world does too!  As we transition, our problem is "syncing up" how we think we ought to feel with reality.  

My HUGE mistake was Jen, I was viewing myself as a woman based on how a man would-not another woman.

Finally, I would dearly love to visit you out there in Hollywood.  Been around the L.A. area in route to Northern California but that's it.

Maybe we could schedule a Stilettos on Thin Ice book signing there and then go north to Seattle and visit Connie?  That's a bunch o books!!!!