Dammit Honey! I still can get ready faster than you! You are wasting valuable shopping time!!!Friday, May 9, 2014
Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"
Dammit Honey! I still can get ready faster than you! You are wasting valuable shopping time!!!
Finding a Transgender Friendly Place
From June 29th 2013, another Cyrsti's Condo archived post as I'm busier than a one armed paper hanger. This is a timeless post which is still as relevant today as then.
Did I get your attention with this title? Actually it's one of the bigger questions I get on a regular basis. Over the years I have tried to over think this process and come up with complex answers I can't even follow. Last night though, in a rare moment of brilliance- my transgender spirit guide said "listen dummy, you find your own places by just going there." I thought for a moment a said "wow spirit peep you are on to something!" Think about it, we all have the power to help a place to become transgender friendly. But of course there are rules: One of the biggest misconceptions is that all gay venues are trans friendly.
The truth of the matter is you have to educate them the same as any other place. They just don't know us. Recent surveys have indicated that only 10% of the population has met a transgender person-change that! Shopping of almost any kind should be a given. After all you are spending money with the merchant. You can also endear yourself if you don't treat women the way they treat each other. If you don't know, listen sometime. Which brings me to what I assume are common sense points: 1- Never Assume your experience is going to be a bad one and be a bitch. With that attitude you will be right. More than likely you will give yourself and the rest of your trans sisters and brothers a bad start. 2.-Mind your own Business, be pleasant and TIP well when you are in a service situation. You will indeed make a good impression. 3.-Go Back. Maybe not common sense but a good point. If you become a good customer, you will be remembered and even protected in certain situations. 4.-Communicate. I learned this one the hard way.
When you don't talk to people they assume the worst about you. So what if you don't think you have the sexiest female voice around. Not using your best effort will hurt you more in the long run.
Did I get your attention with this title? Actually it's one of the bigger questions I get on a regular basis. Over the years I have tried to over think this process and come up with complex answers I can't even follow. Last night though, in a rare moment of brilliance- my transgender spirit guide said "listen dummy, you find your own places by just going there." I thought for a moment a said "wow spirit peep you are on to something!" Think about it, we all have the power to help a place to become transgender friendly. But of course there are rules: One of the biggest misconceptions is that all gay venues are trans friendly.
The truth of the matter is you have to educate them the same as any other place. They just don't know us. Recent surveys have indicated that only 10% of the population has met a transgender person-change that! Shopping of almost any kind should be a given. After all you are spending money with the merchant. You can also endear yourself if you don't treat women the way they treat each other. If you don't know, listen sometime. Which brings me to what I assume are common sense points: 1- Never Assume your experience is going to be a bad one and be a bitch. With that attitude you will be right. More than likely you will give yourself and the rest of your trans sisters and brothers a bad start. 2.-Mind your own Business, be pleasant and TIP well when you are in a service situation. You will indeed make a good impression. 3.-Go Back. Maybe not common sense but a good point. If you become a good customer, you will be remembered and even protected in certain situations. 4.-Communicate. I learned this one the hard way.
When you don't talk to people they assume the worst about you. So what if you don't think you have the sexiest female voice around. Not using your best effort will hurt you more in the long run.
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Blasting Cyrsti's Past
Along with everything else which is happening around here in Cyrsti's Condo, we are also coming up on another year anniversary with this monumental effort!
Here's a repost from July 25th, 2013-
Yesterday I was invited to a quick lunch with my daughter and 12 year old grand daughter. Both of know of my transgender status so the day was sort of special. On the other hand, I'm doing some of the most butch hard labor I can do on my house, repairing a brick wall. I hate it but I have been literally been putting it off for years and the unseasonably cool summer weather we have now makes it a "must do project". I suppose I will lose a couple much needed pounds in the process. So, I am a little short of time to post to Cyrsti's Condo. I learned some time ago, when in doubt, go to the archives and came up with this post from 10/5/2011 and just so happens to include my daughter and an appointment at the Veterans Administration: "Today had to be my best birthday ever! My third visit to the VA therapist seeking a hormone permission letter was late in the afternoon. As I got ready to meet my daughter for a birthday breakfast, I received a text from a long time female friend who I have progressively come out to over the past couple months. She wished me a good birthday and a positive trip to the "Doc" which meant a lot!
My breakfast with my daughter was very different. Almost immediately she asked me if I knew one of the performers in one of the top drag queen acts in the area. They are known as the "Rubi Girls" based out of Dayton, Ohio. As it turns out I had seen their act (impressive) and actually knew one of the performer's employees. As surprising as this was, more surprising was the fact I was having the conversation with her at all. The rest of the breakfast was equally as good and I'm still not sure how I did so well in the daughter department. On to the therapist appointment. We exchanged the usual "how's life" questions before I asked the magic question: "what reservations did she have about writing a permission letter?" She didn't hesitate and said she expected the question and pulled a file folder off her desk The folder contained the "Harry Benjamin Gender Dysphoria Care Standards". As we went through the highlights it seemed I met most all of the criteria. (I'm not exactly sure anyone but Harry understood them all.) She was very positive and said she would like to take one more step before writing the letter. The step was a final consultation about me with a very experienced gender specialist in Columbus. Ironically she is the same person I went to for help over 20 years ago. I know "nothing is over until it's over" but I'm cautiously optimistic I will have the letter in two weeks at my next visit. My last (but far from least) stop of the day was a lite dinner date with a GF down in Cincinnati.
Without getting too personal, it was a wonderful ending to a special day. On the trip home I was going pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming but I have a real aversion to pain and just made sure I wasn't driving up I-75 in a dream. I can guarantee you I-75 between Dayton and Cincinnati, Ohio is no place to be dreaming behind the wheel and I wasn't. The day was all so real and so wonderful! And now it's back to reality and my bricks. Dammit, not good for the nails!
Here's a repost from July 25th, 2013-
Yesterday I was invited to a quick lunch with my daughter and 12 year old grand daughter. Both of know of my transgender status so the day was sort of special. On the other hand, I'm doing some of the most butch hard labor I can do on my house, repairing a brick wall. I hate it but I have been literally been putting it off for years and the unseasonably cool summer weather we have now makes it a "must do project". I suppose I will lose a couple much needed pounds in the process. So, I am a little short of time to post to Cyrsti's Condo. I learned some time ago, when in doubt, go to the archives and came up with this post from 10/5/2011 and just so happens to include my daughter and an appointment at the Veterans Administration: "Today had to be my best birthday ever! My third visit to the VA therapist seeking a hormone permission letter was late in the afternoon. As I got ready to meet my daughter for a birthday breakfast, I received a text from a long time female friend who I have progressively come out to over the past couple months. She wished me a good birthday and a positive trip to the "Doc" which meant a lot!
My breakfast with my daughter was very different. Almost immediately she asked me if I knew one of the performers in one of the top drag queen acts in the area. They are known as the "Rubi Girls" based out of Dayton, Ohio. As it turns out I had seen their act (impressive) and actually knew one of the performer's employees. As surprising as this was, more surprising was the fact I was having the conversation with her at all. The rest of the breakfast was equally as good and I'm still not sure how I did so well in the daughter department. On to the therapist appointment. We exchanged the usual "how's life" questions before I asked the magic question: "what reservations did she have about writing a permission letter?" She didn't hesitate and said she expected the question and pulled a file folder off her desk The folder contained the "Harry Benjamin Gender Dysphoria Care Standards". As we went through the highlights it seemed I met most all of the criteria. (I'm not exactly sure anyone but Harry understood them all.) She was very positive and said she would like to take one more step before writing the letter. The step was a final consultation about me with a very experienced gender specialist in Columbus. Ironically she is the same person I went to for help over 20 years ago. I know "nothing is over until it's over" but I'm cautiously optimistic I will have the letter in two weeks at my next visit. My last (but far from least) stop of the day was a lite dinner date with a GF down in Cincinnati.
Without getting too personal, it was a wonderful ending to a special day. On the trip home I was going pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming but I have a real aversion to pain and just made sure I wasn't driving up I-75 in a dream. I can guarantee you I-75 between Dayton and Cincinnati, Ohio is no place to be dreaming behind the wheel and I wasn't. The day was all so real and so wonderful! And now it's back to reality and my bricks. Dammit, not good for the nails!
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Cyrsti's Condo "Vintage Female Impersonators."
Ever consider when and why the name went from "Female Impersonators" to "Drag Queens"? Check the vintage girls like Baby Martell and you will know why!A Blast from the Past
As I was "cramming" to get another chapter of my "Stiletto's on Thin Ice" book completed today, I was working on a section with a very unremarkable name- "Transition." I have always wondered how each of us seemed to have our own personal "switch" as we decided to go down this road. Some stayed as cross dressers and others went the route to SRS. Why?
I'm certainly not smart enough to figure it out but do have assumptions like everyone else. Today, as I was remembering back to the early Tri-Ess meetings I went to in the late 1970's, what I observed and how I thought I fit with the others around me. Ironically, it's still tough to figure it out. Finally, I came to the conclusion that somewhere along the line back then, I walked two separate paths. One path was living in the mirror as a girl and the other was more of a complex look into how a genetic woman lived. I remembered too, the cross dressers in the room who I called the "A Listers". The small group just knew they were the most attractive critters in the room and they were. Something was strangely missing though from how they acted. Sort of like you left the pepper out of your favorite recipe. They just weren't real.
Also, there were always a couple of women attending who for all the world looked like one of the genetic spouses who came along but they weren't. Transgender or transsexual terms were just beginning to slip in to our vocabulary and it took me decades to get it through my thick noggin' - that was them. The "A listers" on the other hand, went over the top to look the part but just quite couldn't tap into their feminine side-because there wasn't any. I knew one in particular who (as she called it) went down the slippery slope of beginning electrolysis, hormones and then even SRS. She turned out to be beautiful- but miserable.
So, I don't know, maybe for what ever reason, she never progressed past the mirror side of being feminine into the real world? I think I did for a couple of reasons. The most important one was my wife kept chiding me for knowing nothing about being a woman. Never one to back away from a challenge, I began to do it which leads me to my second point. When I did check out the "other side" I liked it a lot and it felt real.
My problem was I could see both paths from the one I was on which led to the tremendous gender turmoil I experienced. Being more stubborn than smart led me to do the natural male thing-internalize and fight. I never do much crying over the past but the historian in me tells me there were certain points I really could have learned from. Talking with the "real girl's" at the Tri Ess Meetings would have been soooo much more beneficial than wishing I could be an "A-lister."
In a companion post, we will discuss what determines how badly you want to flip the gender switch.
I'm certainly not smart enough to figure it out but do have assumptions like everyone else. Today, as I was remembering back to the early Tri-Ess meetings I went to in the late 1970's, what I observed and how I thought I fit with the others around me. Ironically, it's still tough to figure it out. Finally, I came to the conclusion that somewhere along the line back then, I walked two separate paths. One path was living in the mirror as a girl and the other was more of a complex look into how a genetic woman lived. I remembered too, the cross dressers in the room who I called the "A Listers". The small group just knew they were the most attractive critters in the room and they were. Something was strangely missing though from how they acted. Sort of like you left the pepper out of your favorite recipe. They just weren't real.
Also, there were always a couple of women attending who for all the world looked like one of the genetic spouses who came along but they weren't. Transgender or transsexual terms were just beginning to slip in to our vocabulary and it took me decades to get it through my thick noggin' - that was them. The "A listers" on the other hand, went over the top to look the part but just quite couldn't tap into their feminine side-because there wasn't any. I knew one in particular who (as she called it) went down the slippery slope of beginning electrolysis, hormones and then even SRS. She turned out to be beautiful- but miserable.
So, I don't know, maybe for what ever reason, she never progressed past the mirror side of being feminine into the real world? I think I did for a couple of reasons. The most important one was my wife kept chiding me for knowing nothing about being a woman. Never one to back away from a challenge, I began to do it which leads me to my second point. When I did check out the "other side" I liked it a lot and it felt real.
My problem was I could see both paths from the one I was on which led to the tremendous gender turmoil I experienced. Being more stubborn than smart led me to do the natural male thing-internalize and fight. I never do much crying over the past but the historian in me tells me there were certain points I really could have learned from. Talking with the "real girl's" at the Tri Ess Meetings would have been soooo much more beneficial than wishing I could be an "A-lister."
In a companion post, we will discuss what determines how badly you want to flip the gender switch.
Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"
Think our wives will notice if we sneak into the beer fest dressed like this?
Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day
If I Knew I was going to Get this Old-I would have taken Better Care of myself!
Cyrsti Hart
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