Lonely Girls

It is seriously tragic how many of us in the transgender community suffer terrific loneliness. I can understand the world as a whole not understanding us but it has always been surprising to me how few  transgender people I have been able to meet. In my limited world, on Facebook alone, I know I have at least 75 peeps who claim to be transgender within an hours drive from me who haven't uttered one word about meeting for coffee or whatever. So, I wasn't surprised that just in the two or three days I have had my computer back up and running, I have had two comments on the subject of being alone already.

One was a comment Frock Magazine received on my article in their last publication:

Hi,  
My name is Nancy Wilhelm. I am transitioning at the age of 61. Your article "It's Never Too Late to Change" by Cyrsti Hart really hit me. I can really relate to what she had to say. While I face some of the same things she does I also have other issues. I am retired and on SSDI with no reserve. So, most (99%) of the things we need to do to really transition I can't afford. Also, the city I live in, as far as the transgender community, is really weird. I have met one (1) other TGirl total. The girls here are not interested in getting to know you unless you are young and looking for sex. I'm neither, so I have a total of five friends, 3 that I might see once every other month. In other words I'm a lonely girl here. Loved your magazine. I'm going to bookmark it. Hope you can keep it free. Nice to find something I can enjoy. Looking forward to the next issue.

Hugs, Nancy

The other was from a much younger person just exploring her gender identity, along with a supportive girlfriend but with no other idea of how to go any farther.  Fortunately for her, she lives within an easy driving distance of Columbus, Ohio which is an incredibly diverse city. I recommended that at the least , maybe her girlfriend and her should make the trip to Columbus Pride in June to at the least see how the "other half's" live. I did feel bad I couldn't come up with any better ideas of how to find a trans friend or even a trans group.  Maybe I'm being the bitch again but I agree with Nancy's take on what the majority of the "participant's" are into and it's not me either.

Truthfully, I gave up years ago finding transgender friends on line. I got burnt early when the trans "nazi's" got a hold of me and went my own way.   So, I do have my circle of wonderful friends and yes two of them are transgender and they are local.

It is exceedingly difficult to find a friend but far from impossible.  The "T" is beginning to not be as silent in the G&L Centers and there are some resources, plus there are good folks mixed in with the trans trolls.  It's just a shame we all have to go through yet another super difficult process.

Be sure to follow the link above to Frock Magazine and my "two cents worth" on page 30!

Cross Dressing Battle

This video has been around for awhile and thanks to Lynne for bringing it back to my attention!  Kenny vs Spenny on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Cyrsti" Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover today is yet another beautiful androgynous model David Ferran.  At what point in time do the genetic female models feel threatened?

Cyrsti's Condo "Gender Blender"

Androgynous male and female models together:  Kirill Sadovy (left) Alexandrina Til (female-right)

Turmoil!

If you would have told me a couple years ago I would go into panic mode if I lost my computer, I would have said several highly derogatory comments.  Now however I'm literally surrounded by electronic gadgets which hook me up to who knows where and panic me when they don't work.

Now that my "precious puter" seems to be well for awhile, I can catch up with all of you, work on the final stages of my book based on how it looks on my Kindle and continue to learn all the wonderful (and not so wonderful) features of my new Android phone.  To quote Star Trek, "Beam me up Scotty-there is no intelligent life down here!"

Sadly, I'm still catching up and even finding your great comments in the midst of my virtual office mess here in Cyrsti's Condo, like this one from Linda Marie Daniels-which goes back to last Sunday:

Regarding the 50 something women in the restaurant who were so rude: unfortunately, after a certain age, most people don't change their opinions about the world. Although there are older people who are willing to examine long held beliefs, most "dinosaurs" are going to keep their ideas about transgender people. The good news is that younger generations seem to be more able to look at people as people, regardless of whether they don't conform to strict definitions of gender identity. The bad news is, at least for "dinosaurs" like me, that change in attitude as the ideas of a new generation become the mainstream, will be a little late for me. Great post as always. Happy Sunday to you!

Thanks Linda Marie!  You all know I am one of the "dinosaurs" too. As a matter of fact I mentioned it this morning when I was working on a new article for Frock Magazine. I was on my soap box again ranting about how our generation (and me) was notoriously in the closet/ stealth as transgender women and cross dressers.  All of us know we can make a case why that was but the past is just the past and we have left ourselves with what we paid forward-nothing. Now, whatever we can put into the transgender piggy bank is better than nothing!

I do have a spousal checklist in one of my book chapters which may be of interest to this discussion too. It compresses three sample kinds of spouses from accepting to call the divorce lawyer I will have to remember to pass it along to all of you.  The key term is remember! Sorry kids, have to wrap this up now. The dinosaur needs a nap!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

For Friday we are going to run a dual feature cover from the past. Vintage female impersonators Kim Christy and Kim August.

Kim August

Kim Christy

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

We are back with our Condo feature covers. Today check out beautiful drag artist Jem Stone

Summer Fun!

Forget the inch of snow we had the other day and the frigid temps which sent me scrambling for my sweaters, I figured it was time to begin my maintenance on summer's number one fashion accessory- skin.

At this time in my life, I have certain "specialized" needs.  As far as fashions go, unfortunately, the flirty short summer skirts and sundresses are not age appropriate for me but the longer ones certainly are.  While I still have the remnants of my upper body biceps, my muscle definition has gone way down and my HRT induced skin tone has gone way up. So sleeveless tops this summer are back for a second season for me.

I do a pretty good job of taking care of my upper body skin and if I don't it tells me. As far as winter and my legs and feet go though, not so much.  I have work to do to shed dry skin, soften and moisturize.  Also, I don't think I have mentioned my dislike of wearing any sort of hot panty hose in the summer. I'm going bare legged under my long skirts and normally do a self summer pedi for sandals.

What I am looking forward to this summer though, is adding a long sun dress or two to my wardrobe for the first time.  I think with the right bra and panty set, I will be able to enjoy my new found femininity this summer to the max and stay cooler. (#1  goal!)

So, we will see what climate change does to us around here in Ohio and my plans. I am notoriously short term though so maybe I will have to come up with plans "B or C" too. First, I have to think about them and I actually have started.  I am subscribed to a local woman's Mary Kay site which recently promoted tons of summer cosmetics.  On the other hand, I also use "home made" products too.  My most recent example was when Liz directed me to her cooking Olive Oil to help my dry facial damaged winter skin. She read the hint from Glamour Magazine and it actually worked better than any of the big name expensive products I was using.  Just check around.

Another hint is my grocery store (Kroger's) has a ton of on line coupons. Several are for cosmetic products
and if you hit a day when they are already on sale, you can do well.

The MaryKay link is above and I'm sure there were and are other places you can go for fun!

Ketchup

Yes, I'm using a condiment name for a Cyrsti's Condo blog post and it actually serves a couple purposes!

On a lighter note, I'm "catching up" on a few of your comments from a post which indirectly involved food. Clever, right?

Thanks to all of you who commented on the Trans Girl Guide to Eating Out post.

The first came from Leann:

Crysti, I agree whole-heartedly with 1, 2 and 5. Of late, I have been trying to go to a local (Northeast local) chain called Legal Seafood about once a week. I have at least one waitress who sits down to chat with me. As far as 3 and 4 are concerned, I haven't run into these S&Sers so I haven't run into them in the restroom either. The only conversation I have ever had in a restroom is someone commenting me on my suit. :)

Thanks Leeann!  For those of you who don't know, #4 was my reference to using the women's room. Similar to you, I haven't had any problems for literally years but having the cops called on me twice, being called a perve and getting kicked out of a venue left their marks I'm afraid! Anymore, I don't let the past ruin the present!

The second came from Mandy Sherman:


On #3, Trouble in Paradise... It's not only the 50-somethings. While it's indeed precisely as you say with them, alas, teenagers haven't given up on S&S yet. Last fall during my final 2013 en-femme outing, I was having a solo dinner at an upscale steakhouse restaurant on the Maryland side of Washington, DC. The joint wasn't full by any means. A pair of 18-year-old-plus girls and their dates were seated across the room, with the girls having an unobstructed view of my table. (How do I know they were at least 18? The wine bottle and glasses...) The girls spotted me as I walked in, and as soon as I was seated they informed the boys of my existence. The boys seemed rather ho-hum about it, as a mere glance was all they sent my way. But every few minutes, one of the girls checked me out, whispered something to her friend, who then looked my way. They then giggled, and whispered things to each other, while the boys looked rather annoyed at their dates' actions. The special dinner date (for which they were paying a tidy sum) was being compromised by this "guy in a skirt." 

The foursome got their "special night" back when I left...with no wine, appetizer or dessert, I finished well before they did. But I could feel two pair of young female eyes following me all the way out, once they noticed I was leaving. And you can bet I remained a part of their conversation for the rest of the evening... Sorry, guys - your dates were paying attention to me, not you. Better luck next time... But this is a solemn testament to the fact that teenage female S&S is still very much alive and well in suburban Maryland. 

And with regard to #4 - Rest Room Pass: Since that night, I have used a few select women's rooms, while dressed androgynously. But that particular night, I was in a "holding pattern" - waiting to go back to my hotel room. No way would I have wanted to chance meeting those girls in a restroom situation. Cheers, Mandy

Hi Mandy and thanks!  Sounds as if the narrow minded young women just were looking for diversions to their boring dates and you were in the line of fire.  You bring up several really good points.  Ultimately, stupidity is not limited to one age group and the longer someone has to sit back and look you over, the more chance you become of someone making you their business.  Pretty much that is what happened to me the other night with one of the bitches who about broke her neck to stare and smirk.  (The other didn't give me a second look later.)

Once again ladies, thanks so much for your comments!