Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our Monday feature cover is Gheovanna Sartory Cruz

Just Playing Around

I have a tendency to get all "snarky" when things don't work around Cyrsti's Condo like my Wi-Fi, or when I read about genetic females who think that being a woman was a birth right and dislike me. So....it's play time!!!

Picture #1.-  
The girl to the left is thinking WOW we really set him up for success in the womanless pageant - He's thinking Prom!

Picture #2.- I am too genetic!!!!!!!!!!! Dammit!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover today is Arthur Nazarov

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Good morning "Condo-ites!"  Lots of content this morning! Let's get moving.

 Page 1.- News.   Recently, this title caught my eye, 6 Ways Trans Women Are Helping to Deliver Gender Equality.  Essentially, for all the movement women have made in the world over the past two decades, this post points out:
From the gender wage gap to increasing incarceration rates — or “Slavery 2.0” — the failure of the ERA in 1982 and the continued lack of a federal equal rights amendment are testaments to the unrelenting, pernicious and unethical treatment of women in America — especially women of color. 

It goes on to say:

The movement for women's equality has occurred primarily within the LGBT community over the past decade, with the discourse of “equality” often framed in terms of marriage. DADT and DOMA were both federally repealed, and the marriage equality movement has a nearly invisible state-organized apparatus, thanks to two Supreme Court's decisions this past summer.

It's a good read from PolicyMic.  Go here to read more.

Page 2.- Opinion.  The preceding story prominently mentioned the growing influence of transgender women of color leading the fight for rights. Not unlike their race went through during the Civil Rights battles of the 60's and beyond. Ironically, the one other transgender woman besides me who showed up for the Trans Ohio meeting was of color and outspoken and not shy.  I'm not making the case for color equaling a significant desire or ability to speak up on our trans issues except to say the highest instances of transphobic violence are directed  towards women of color.

Now, to my point.  I began to wonder if those of us who are transitioning and have the ability or will power to do it - are preconditioned not to stand up for our rights?  Do we spend too much time in the stereotypical feminine mind state?  I don't know but it is a thought.  The irony is not lost on me though that a few of the genetic women groups are grudgingly beginning to recognize the appeal of a group of new transplanted citizens on their soil.  After all, immigration is good in so many ways. New ideas, culture and energy are always beneficial if accepted for what they are.

Page 3.- Comments.  This week I was greedy and put off answering a couple excellent responses I received here in the Condo until now.  From week to week, I never know what content I will have for our Sunday Edition.  The first came in response to my post Having Coffee with the Peeps and comes from writer Bobbie Thompson:

"... made the mistake of assuming ... " Been there done that. Of course, my ONLY experience with anyone trans is via Alana. I 'assumed' ALL trans experiences were the same as hers. While attending the 2012 Southern Comfort Conference with Alana, I quickly learned that EVERY EXPERIENCE is different and not one person's experience can be 'representative' of all. I learn something new every day ... mainly that there are no 'right' or 'wrong' ways to 'be.' I think the important part is to simply be yourself ... and allow others to be who they are.

Indeed Bobbie, you are right and thanks for the comment!  Perhaps the isolation the transgender community subjected itself to helped to further the notion that somehow we are all alike or know plenty of other trans friends. None of that is true for most of us of course and once again it proves we are just "regular" folk with just a little more insight into how both of the other gender binaries live.

The other comment came from Sally Bend in response to our Oldie but Goodie Post:

Back in high school I used to wash dishes and bus tables in a greasy little cafe that had a old bookstore attached. The bookstore was only open by appointment (it was a cluttered fire hazard), and I usually got the job of cleaning it up for customers. I found so many old trans magazines and paperbacks in there, it was like my own personal treasure trove. I never got to take many home (like you, I didn't have the courage to buy them), but I read most of them.

A great memory Sally and I'm sure many of us wish we had the same access to a "treasure trove" like that too!  It's amazing you got any work done. Thanks for sharing!

And thanks to all of you for spending part of your precious time here in Cyrsti's Condo.  Can't thank you enough and hope to see you again next week!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover today is Adrien Lebreton.  I am beginning to use the term "gender blur" (before you have a chance to determine a gender in your mind, the person is gone)  as my own little pet term for an androgynous guy who doesn't have to "jump" far to visually cross dress as an attractive exotic woman.  We are seeing it more and more on the fashion runways of the world and undoubtedly it will filter down to many of us living in "less glamorous" places soon. I thought this picture was interesting in that the guy behind Adrien was also taking a picture, the guy to the right was intently watching and the kid only cared about harassing the pigeon.

Cyrsti's Condo "Beauty Break"

Every once in a while, I love to pass along what experts think of our passions such as make up.  From day one as cross dressers or transgender women, we foraged through Mom's or sister's make up - fascinated and confused.

This week I found a look at mascara - a very important part of my eye makeup routine.  As my skin is finally beginning to recover from the beating winter gave it and my old gray beard requires a lighter shave to cover, my eyes and lips take on an extra importance.


This comes from Yahoo: If there's one beauty product we can't live without, it's mascara. It brightens, opens up the eye and, frankly, makes us all look way more pulled together. But with 192 million types of mascaras at stores, picking one is like a massive game of eenie-meenie-miney-mo. Wand size, shape, texture - the choices are endless. To help keep your eyes on the prize and your lashes reaping the benefits, pay most attention to the type of wand.

For more follow the link above!

The Devil is Hiding in the Details

"Back in the day" as I was exploring the feminine side of my life as a cross dresser, one of my bigger frustrations quickly became making some sort of "big mistake."  All sorts of things could happen internally or externally. My panty hose could start creeping down my thighs, I could get a heel stuck in a crack in the concrete and yes, when I used water balloons for boobs-one broke. It seemed the more I learned, the more I had to learn. I was doing my best not to be a clown in the mall and an unpaid one at that!

Of course genetic women face the same problems as part of the "high maintenance" gender, they are just more experienced and yes they have faced the same problems as we transgender girls- except maybe the water balloons. They were using tissue. Last night, I saw the process first hand.

A friend and I (genetic) were out watching the basketball tournament in a big sports bar which features five huge television screens in a row, facing the bar.  The place is huge with two large rooms on either side of the main room and last light, one of them had some sort of formal party.  Could have been some sort of an after wedding party, just knew the 20 something women were dressed in formal gowns. I didn't give them much thought until my first visit to the potty.  Just as I closed my stall door, another woman took one of the others close by.  I took care of my business quickly and was washing up to leave when she came out of the stall.  Literally, she was tall tanned and beautiful in a breathtaking blue gown which was low cut and fell off her shoulders.  The dress was also three quarters length and there in lied the problem.  She was really struggling with the dress. Was it covering enough of the girls, did she pee on it when she was using the bathroom and of course she was checking out how it looked from the back.  I dried my hands and went back to join my friend but I'm sure I missed her checking out her makeup and hair.

Once again I knew appearance is no accident and even a casual look takes a certain amount of planning and work. Even for such a young attractive woman who was working so hard to make her natural beauty look effortless.

The "Enigma" Gender

One definition for enigma is: a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.

It's no secret the binary male and female genders don't understand much about each other, so it's no wonder neither know much about we "invisible T's".  Here in Cyrsti's Condo in the past, I have taken the title from the classic guide Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex and added transgender people must be from Earth, right between the other two. If we liked it or not, we spent some time on both planets and many of us still commute back and forth.

We are enigma's with all the stigma which can be attached-good or bad.  This week for example, I ran into many new people.  Not just walking by them on the street, but interacting with them too in meetings and social events. Truthfully, I was willingly knocked out of my comfort zone all week long. I know what you are thinking "Whoa Cyrsti, thought you were living all this time as a girl.  I can explain it this way: Every so often someone will ask me if I'm living "full time" or "24/7" as a woman.  The question is always difficult for me to answer because I can only vouch for living 24/7 between my ears.  The remainder of the time I'm awake, my gender is how the world perceives it-not how I do. I already know. For all I know, on my androgynous days some may think I'm from the moon!

So, at this point I am an enigma to the folks from Venus and Mars.  For the most part, I can guarantee you most don't understand me but as long as they don't willfully hurt me, that's fine.  I can't understand ever perceiving myself as my birth gender completely so I don't understand them.

As I transition, I am learning the fun part is to stay an enigma to the other planets.  For the most part the Martians keep me at arms length and the Venusian's are as curious as cats. My latest responses (truthfully a very small minority of the world who has much more to worry about than me) are centered in the eyes.  I had two or three women this week who seemingly couldn't get out of mine. If you are a believer in the eyes are the windows to the soul, they were trying to look at mine!

If I was a better writer and more disciplined a "Classic Guide to Understanding Earthlings" would be a fabulous follow up to understanding both other planets-or-we could do the "Why's and How's of Being a Gender Enigma" too. In the meantime, it's interesting to step back and look at the wonder of it all. 

Porno and the Genetic Woman

Quite the title, right?  The reason for it is last night, by sheer osmosis, I found myself in the middle of a porno discussion between my partner and three other of her genetic women acquaintances.

Here lately, I'm becoming better at shutting up and have the conversation come to me.  It's very effective in that most people from without the TGLBQ community don't really know what to think of me and a little mystery doesn't hurt.

After the get together last night we were all sitting around chatting and I was surprised when one of the women mentioned her ex husband and her resultant introduction to porno.  The conversation went to sex acts and then moved on rather quickly.  I am the first to admit, my experience with women has shown me, they are less than the prudes they portray around men. But,  this topic with this group of seemingly middle aged conservative women really got my attention!

I found myself stuck in sort of a time warp in the conversation too. Here I was as a transgender woman still not talking about porno. The same as when I was a guy because mainly,  I never felt the charge my guy friends supposedly got from porno and/or strip clubs. Through work though , I ended up at quite a few clubs and of course I played the game when I was bored to death. I oohed and ahhed at the right time. I thought it best though not to bring any of that up!   So, I just shut up and once again-played the game knowing full well that sooner more than later a woman will ask me about my thoughts.

On this side of the gender fence though, saying less, indeed means more and I do so enjoy the mystery!