Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day
Our featured Cover Girl today in the "Condo" is Sheila Verissimo
Cyrsti's Condo "Book Nook"
I mentioned Bobbie Thompson's upcoming book "My Husband Looks Better in Lingerie Than I Do...Dammit" not so long ago here in the "Condo". Well, it's not upcoming any more! Here's a look:Bobbie Thompson, the supportive spouse of a transgender male-to-female, tells her side of their story in "My HUSBAND Looks Better in Lingerie Than I Do ... DAMN IT," in this companion memoir to "Hung in the Middle: A Journey of Gender Discovery," (www.hunginthemiddle.com) written by her spouse, Alana Nicole Sholar. After knowing 'him' for nearly 25 years, and even sharing a three-year intimate relationship in the mid-1990's, upon seeing 'her' for the first time in 2006, Bobbie was freaked out and didn't want to have anything to do with 'her.'
Two years later, December 31, 2008, they were married. But marriage was only the beginning of this wild and wonderful ride they share called life. Often when Bobbie shares with others that her spouse is transgender she is asked, "Why in the world would you choose to be married to someone like that." "My HUSBAND Looks Better in Lingerie Than I Do ... DAMN IT" answers that question and further explains theirs is a happy marriage, although they face the same pitfalls faced in any marriage, such as financial difficulties, in addition to many situations other marriages may never encounter, such as Alana being diagnosed as HIV positive.
Bobbie's is a transition story ... not a story of physical transition as are most stories about transgender persons, but a story of transition of perspective ... from ignorance and misunderstanding to educated and informed. Bobbie and Alana still live in the same rural Kentucky town where they both grew up ... only Alana grew up there as a male. "My HUSBAND Looks Better in Lingerie Than I Do ... DAMN IT," not only shares true experiences and lessons learned from those experiences, but is a life transforming love story.
Go here to Amazon to order your copy!
Two Female Impersonation Classics
Any more, you have to be a "little more mature" to even remember the use of the "female impersonation" term.
Much of the time, it was even considered to be an art form.This first picture is of William Reynolds (left) who is up to no good robbing a group of women in a theater powder room of their jewelry. William along with another impersonator got off of work in a club they worked in to do the heist in the 1951 movie "No Questions Asked".
Before you scramble to rent it, the drag scene is actually a small part of the movie. Also it is shown every now and then on the Turner Classic Movie Channel. As you can see though, Reynolds is good.
The second featured female impersonator is Laverne Cummings (above right) who as you can see was one of the classic performers of all times!
Monday, February 17, 2014
"Wing Girl"?
No sillies, not eating wings and staining your new manicures, I'm talking about trying to set up a lesbian friend with another lesbian in a bar.
I have a friend who playfully asked me why I couldn't have done just that for her one night when she was hot on the track of a femme blond in this gay venue we were in. We all know, often, when someone "playfully" asks something - they mean it. Especially when its a genetic woman who is asking. Of course, at the time, I was a little slow on the uptake and didn't do it but began to think why couldn't I? This could be another one of those ultra unique "bucket list" opportunities to experience like a bachelorlette party.
Why this falls into my lap is, my friend does not have a partner. When events come up where she is sure will have a number of lesbians in attendance, she wants to drag me along (no pun intended). So, I'm sure I will have a chance to be a "wing girl" in the future. Of course I wondered how I would even go about doing it. Looking back, I don't even think I did the "wing thing" as a guy.
Finally, I came to the conclusion the process may be easier. Number one, she is femme and attractive which should open her availability up in the room and number two, as a transgender girl-I would certainly open the door quickly or slam it shut. Either way, it would be simpler than sitting there watching her squirm in her seat about approaching someone. Plus, the more secure I am with my feminine self, the less shy I am! I would have no problem asking someone else to please talk to my friend because she is driving me nuts!
So, the next time she asks for a "wing girl" I'm taking flight.
I have a friend who playfully asked me why I couldn't have done just that for her one night when she was hot on the track of a femme blond in this gay venue we were in. We all know, often, when someone "playfully" asks something - they mean it. Especially when its a genetic woman who is asking. Of course, at the time, I was a little slow on the uptake and didn't do it but began to think why couldn't I? This could be another one of those ultra unique "bucket list" opportunities to experience like a bachelorlette party.
Why this falls into my lap is, my friend does not have a partner. When events come up where she is sure will have a number of lesbians in attendance, she wants to drag me along (no pun intended). So, I'm sure I will have a chance to be a "wing girl" in the future. Of course I wondered how I would even go about doing it. Looking back, I don't even think I did the "wing thing" as a guy.
Finally, I came to the conclusion the process may be easier. Number one, she is femme and attractive which should open her availability up in the room and number two, as a transgender girl-I would certainly open the door quickly or slam it shut. Either way, it would be simpler than sitting there watching her squirm in her seat about approaching someone. Plus, the more secure I am with my feminine self, the less shy I am! I would have no problem asking someone else to please talk to my friend because she is driving me nuts!
So, the next time she asks for a "wing girl" I'm taking flight.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
"Your Type" Can NOT Come IN
Perhaps you have heard of Helen Boyd. Her books, including My Husband Betty would be one of my choices to give to a spouse when you are coming out for the first time as a cross dresser or transgender woman.
Her blog is called En Gender and a recent post called UnValentine caught my eye. Evidently she wrote it when her and her partner were not welcomed in a "woman's only" space. Here's an excerpt:
Why should someone’s transition negate the partner’s identity as a lesbian? The whole idea that they wouldn't “look like” a lesbian couple is infuriating – the same argument was made against butch/femme couples back in the day.
Here’s the thing: as a community, could we maybe start to acknowledge that people transition, and that they have histories, and identities, and life experiences, all of which may not tidily map onto our models of “straight” and “gay”? Can we allow trans couples to decide how to negotiate their own identities as individuals and couples instead of everyone else telling us where we belong? Can a trans guy honor his own past and his relationship’s past without other trans men telling him he’s sold out his gender and trans people everywhere?
Are lesbians really not used to guys transitioning yet? A little compassion would be awesome from groups who are now and who have been, historically, excluded discreetly and explicitly, kindly and hatefully. Trans partners are often a wrench in the homo/hetero works, but sometimes we get eaten by the gears.
Well said! For more, go here.
Her blog is called En Gender and a recent post called UnValentine caught my eye. Evidently she wrote it when her and her partner were not welcomed in a "woman's only" space. Here's an excerpt:
Why should someone’s transition negate the partner’s identity as a lesbian? The whole idea that they wouldn't “look like” a lesbian couple is infuriating – the same argument was made against butch/femme couples back in the day.
Here’s the thing: as a community, could we maybe start to acknowledge that people transition, and that they have histories, and identities, and life experiences, all of which may not tidily map onto our models of “straight” and “gay”? Can we allow trans couples to decide how to negotiate their own identities as individuals and couples instead of everyone else telling us where we belong? Can a trans guy honor his own past and his relationship’s past without other trans men telling him he’s sold out his gender and trans people everywhere?
Are lesbians really not used to guys transitioning yet? A little compassion would be awesome from groups who are now and who have been, historically, excluded discreetly and explicitly, kindly and hatefully. Trans partners are often a wrench in the homo/hetero works, but sometimes we get eaten by the gears.
Well said! For more, go here.
Cyrsti's Condo Sunday Edition
Page one.- "Book em Danno" a quote from Hawaii Five-O- fame, gets us started this Sunday Morning. I was using the quote to get us to the Facebook announcement this week they were going to open up their gender options....really open them up to approx 50 different gender categories. I met the news with enthusiasm, other's not so much, which is understandable. One of my lesbian friends was simply surprised with the number of categories and I told her, someone at Facebook probably thought if they (FB), opened the door to a couple different gender categories, they better do it for all they could think of.
Another opinion comes from Condo visitor Alexis Michelle:
Last night I listened to a show that was talking about not only this but the entire gender identity issue. The question came up as to exactly why Facebook did this now. I guess the host is one who questions "why" many things happen. So does Facebook have an ulterior motive for this move? Is this an attempt to begin putting people into pigeon slots for some future purpose, be it good or not? I don't know myself, but I'm going to leave my gender as female regardless of this. Heck, I don't even know what some of those terms truly mean. But even with the ones I am familiar with, I'd have to choose between more than one. Too many options in my humble opinion...........
Thanks Alexis Michelle and I'm sure you are right, somewhere, sometime, someone may use the information and send it off to "Big Brother" for less than good reasons. However, I think any kind of census count of the TGLB community may be good for at least we "T"'s. If you remember, not long ago some "official" count listed transgender women and transgender men as nearly as rare as a Republican voting for same sex marriage. So as I said, if Facebook comes up with a surprising number of trans users who change their gender listings (Like you Michelle, I used the female option previously too.)- a light bulb may go on and Big Brother may realize we are a force to be reckoned with.
Who knows?
Page 2.- We took a break, a potty break in a safe place and sent along a link which lists places where transgender women or men and cross dressers can "pee in peace". I went on the site called Refuge Restrooms and added a few of my own. All too often these days I believe I'm beginning to see restroom "privilege" as yet another "hierarchy" hammer being used in our community. I'm better than you because I'm "accomplished" enough to use the women's room without incident and you are not. Obviously we don't need another hammer being used and a site such as Refuge, helps negate it.
Page 3.- Media "splashes" last week turned into tidal waves for the transgender community when icons such as Laverne Cox, Carmen Carrera, and Janet Mock jumped into the pool with very public interviews. All three put the spotlight on our lives and tried to take it away from our genitalia. All of them pushed ahead with a unified, much needed public statement which has yet to work for me but might sooner more than later. I still encounter the occasional "civilian" on line or even in public, who just has to know what is or isn't, between my legs. Again, I was bemoaning the fact I was being "sexualized" vs "genderized" by these people with my lesbian friend I mentioned above....she said relax they are just curious about you (me). Easy for her to say because years ago she asked me the same question and certainly genetic women are the most curious group in the human race!
Page 4.- Fact or Freak? Sure looks to me like Bruce Jenner just might have been dabbling in a little HRT which certainly doesn't make him a freak but the way he is handling it does.
Back Page.- Well, I hope those of you still getting pummeled by terrible weather on the East Coast of the United States are getting back to normal and a big WOW to Micheal Sam a NFL draft prospect who came out as gay before the draft!
Hope you all have a good week and as always, it's all of you who make the Cyrsti's Condo what it is today!
Another opinion comes from Condo visitor Alexis Michelle:
Last night I listened to a show that was talking about not only this but the entire gender identity issue. The question came up as to exactly why Facebook did this now. I guess the host is one who questions "why" many things happen. So does Facebook have an ulterior motive for this move? Is this an attempt to begin putting people into pigeon slots for some future purpose, be it good or not? I don't know myself, but I'm going to leave my gender as female regardless of this. Heck, I don't even know what some of those terms truly mean. But even with the ones I am familiar with, I'd have to choose between more than one. Too many options in my humble opinion...........
Thanks Alexis Michelle and I'm sure you are right, somewhere, sometime, someone may use the information and send it off to "Big Brother" for less than good reasons. However, I think any kind of census count of the TGLB community may be good for at least we "T"'s. If you remember, not long ago some "official" count listed transgender women and transgender men as nearly as rare as a Republican voting for same sex marriage. So as I said, if Facebook comes up with a surprising number of trans users who change their gender listings (Like you Michelle, I used the female option previously too.)- a light bulb may go on and Big Brother may realize we are a force to be reckoned with.
Who knows?
Page 2.- We took a break, a potty break in a safe place and sent along a link which lists places where transgender women or men and cross dressers can "pee in peace". I went on the site called Refuge Restrooms and added a few of my own. All too often these days I believe I'm beginning to see restroom "privilege" as yet another "hierarchy" hammer being used in our community. I'm better than you because I'm "accomplished" enough to use the women's room without incident and you are not. Obviously we don't need another hammer being used and a site such as Refuge, helps negate it.
Page 3.- Media "splashes" last week turned into tidal waves for the transgender community when icons such as Laverne Cox, Carmen Carrera, and Janet Mock jumped into the pool with very public interviews. All three put the spotlight on our lives and tried to take it away from our genitalia. All of them pushed ahead with a unified, much needed public statement which has yet to work for me but might sooner more than later. I still encounter the occasional "civilian" on line or even in public, who just has to know what is or isn't, between my legs. Again, I was bemoaning the fact I was being "sexualized" vs "genderized" by these people with my lesbian friend I mentioned above....she said relax they are just curious about you (me). Easy for her to say because years ago she asked me the same question and certainly genetic women are the most curious group in the human race!
Page 4.- Fact or Freak? Sure looks to me like Bruce Jenner just might have been dabbling in a little HRT which certainly doesn't make him a freak but the way he is handling it does.
Back Page.- Well, I hope those of you still getting pummeled by terrible weather on the East Coast of the United States are getting back to normal and a big WOW to Micheal Sam a NFL draft prospect who came out as gay before the draft!
Hope you all have a good week and as always, it's all of you who make the Cyrsti's Condo what it is today!
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