NOT one of Victoria's Secrets

Carmen Carerra

It's no secret Carmen Carerra is a positively gorgeous woman- who happens to be transgender. Now a Change.org  petition is pushing for model Carmen Carrera to be the first transgender Victoria’s Secret Angel and had garnered over 34,000 signatures

A transwoman walking the runway alongside Karlie Kloss and Adriana Lima would be a truly revolutionary event for transgender women every where.. But is America ready? Countries outside of America have been more open-minded about transgender models on the runways and covers but America is still lagging behind. Overseas, gender-bending models like Andrej Pejic and Lea T have been pushing boundaries on runways for a while.

Andrej Pejic

It remains to be seen if Victoria's Secret is ready as a brand, to feel comfortable marketing towards ALL types of women. But,  if anyone has a chance to open the doors, certainly Carmen is a fantastic choice!

Unfortunately the way I read it the petition effort may be a little late.
The show films tomorrow but airs on CBS in December. However, if this effort opens the door at all for transgender models in the future it is a great deal.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall..

Mirrors on the wall, on the shelf, in the car, in the store...they are everywhere and through the years we transgender women and cross dressers develop quite the relationship with them.

We have to to a certain degree although many outsiders would call our mirror worship a very narcissistic pursuit. As we transition from experimenting in Mom's or Sister's clothes, we depend upon a mirror to reassure us of how we are doing...to an extent. The problem is that mirrors are wonderful fibbers.  I'm sure you see your share of genetic women too who get lied to by their mirrors and you wonder, "What the hell was she thinking?" I can not tell you the number of times over the years I thought I was this vision of beauty only to find out quickly I was a vision alright, just not one which even closely resembled a woman.

After the years of more error than trial, I finally decided on two basics my mirror and I could work with.

The first one was I never looked as good - or as bad as I thought. Actually it's a life basic I live with too. I have days when I think I have written my best blog posts ever, only to find I wasn't going to give any of the great authors of the day a run for their money. Of course the opposite has been true too.

The second basic is actually a mirror theory I have about transitioning from a cross dresser to more of a transgender person. I think as soon as you can relax to a point of not needing reassurance of being feminine from a mirror then your mirror becomes the world. You are reflecting your gender of choice to the public and their reaction becomes all that matters.  The benefit is, for the most part you are receiving quality unfiltered feedback.

Look (no pun intended) I know the ability to get out in the world for many of you is just a dream...right now. But these days the mirror is getting a run for it's money and helping many of you out. Videos on YouTube and the multitude of photo sites are two examples.

In many cases, it seems practice is working for some of these ladies. I don't know if you remember the video I put up on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen some time ago where the cross dresser went from female to male, except for his "padding" under his male clothes.  At that point she apologized for looking terrible and not passing looking like that. I thought though she looked better than 90% of the women who work at places like Walmart where I live.

While it's true we have to work hard at being better than our genetic sisters in order to survive in the world, we all have to realize we share the same insecurities.  How many genetic women have you ever known who have not been insecure about one or more parts of their bodies? Plus, on any given day, I see any number of genetic women trying to pass as women. The difference is they know what they are and of course carry that assurance with them and it is so important we do too. But...  No amount of mirrors can do that for us - transgender women or cross dressers.

Rest assured, your mirror does not want to lose your friendship and indeed many times a mirror is a girl's best friend.  Just make sure your true BFF is the public and you will do fine!

Cyrsti's Condo "Horror Scope"

Hello all, it's time to look through a cold snowy sky to the stars for our weekly horror scope.  As always, here is a "scope" for all Libra's:

(September 23-October 22): Don’t hold onto delusions about your baby anymore; making anyone else the sacrificial chicken for your misgivings is going to hit you back twice as rough. Accept that laziness is your number one enemy and even if it feels forced, jump into action. Stir up the energy and cause a commotion. If you flap your wings long enough, who knows, you just might be able to fly away.

Wow, guess I better grab an extra cup o hot "Joe" to stir up extra energy.  As far as "commotion" goes, can do!

For your scope, go to theFrisky  here

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"Sex is between the legs, Gender is between the ears and Love transcends both if it is True."

Cyrsti Hart

Veteran's Day 2013

Justin Vivian Bond

I'm fairly sure I post nearly the same Veterans Day piece every year here in Cyrsti's Condo and it's very bittersweet.  Most of you are aware I am a transgender veteran and do share a certain amount of entitlement to talk about trans vets.

The sweet portion of what I want to say, is a big thank you to all you vets who served or who are still are serving.

The sad portion is too many think just coming home is enough to heal the vet from a lifetime of ills. In my day, the government turned it's back (and still does) on the Agent Orange Vietnam Vets and now they are doing it again with current vets. Many are waiting for a year for the VA just to determine benefits.

The bitter portion is the most tragic of all.   Transgender service members, a significant number when compared to society's averages are fighting for the exact liberties they are denied. As we all know, the basic rights extended to the gay and lesbian troops officially weren't for transgender military members.

So it seems every year I write the same Veterans Day piece.  Hopefully next year I can change it!

Chrysis

From Wikipedia

International Chrysis was a member of the Hot Peaches troupe and appeared briefly in the 1968 documentary The Queen. She toured drag supper clubs in the 1970s and moved her show to nightclubs in the 1980s, performing her revues Jesus Chrysis Superstar and the Last Temptation of Chrysis. She appeared in the 1990 film Q&A shortly before her death.

Chrysis died of liver cancer, attributed to illegal breast enhancement injections and high levels of hormones.A documentary about her life was released posthumously. Dead or Alive briefly recorded under the name "International Chrysis" in her honor.

Under Construction

Way back when here in Cyrsti's Condo, I re-posted an subject called "Making a Woman" and Alexis Michelle added her take on the subject. Of course with my more than cynical thoughts on the matter, I didn't think I was qualified to make a woman.

Ironically, I guess I am one of those guys who did make a good woman- or I'm trying very hard to do just that.

I call the process gender "socialization", while Alexis called it "grasping the woman part" but we were on the same page. Plus, let me be clear here, I'm not talking exclusively about the feminine appearance standard we all get caught up in. In my own case, I'm far from a "natural" as a woman and will always have to use every physical trick I can learn to present in the world as a woman. To compensate though, I learned  a couple positive powerful tools such as confidence and attitude with wonderful potential.  Now I have the freedom of walking into situations in the world as a transgender woman knowing what to expect and how to deal with the most important part of the population...other women. Not an easy process for anyone, especially me, but this is how I started.

As soon as I progressed to a point where I felt I could basically blend in with the world as a woman, I got serious about the "socialization" process. Without going too far in depth, the process became very complex for me...quickly. Social feminine interaction was similar to peeling back a onion. Once I peeled back one layer, another was exposed and yes the process brought me to tears a number of times. As I did, I found the main problem people had with me was they didn't know anything about a transgender person such as me. Once I became a real person to them, most of them were accepting.  Far more than I ever thought!

As Alexis said "Being accepted as a woman by other women is the greatest reward of all." and she is right. Genetic girls have been raised with highly effective B.S. detectors (sometimes known as feminine intuition), so acceptance is not taken lightly.

As I have said many times, I never thought I could ever get to this point in my life as a transgender woman. I can only say the process has been a wonderful trip recently after years of gender hell. I do get a giggle when someone seems to think my transition journey has been an overnight "walk in the park" success story.

The opposite is true of course.  I guess when I make something the right way, it takes a lot of time!

Back in the Saddle

I'm back and settled in here in Cyrsti's Condo!  A pleasant surprise was this comment to one of the archive posts Making a Woman  from Alexis Michelle:


This post does deliver the message that when you do transition there has to be a significant adjustment in so many varied and different areas. Presenting yourself as a woman is a challenge that requires a persona fitting the role. You simply have to 'grasp the woman part.' to succeed.

This makeover takes time and practice to achieve and one must expect to stumble occasionally. I know that I did just that, many times. In fact, I am still adapting to the female role. Looking back, I can remember my early ventures out into the big world. I was terrified. I felt that everyone was looking at me. And many may have been.

Confidence in yourself as befitting the gender you present as is critical. I was already aware that feminine deportment was quite different than the male I had been. It took me time to become comfortable with that aspect of my new female life. In my experiences, I also found many instances where a comment or situation caught me by surprise, and luckily I was able to 'think on my feet' and give a hopefully feminine response.

And as one of those men who 'make a good looking woman' I've had to adjust to that also. But perhaps the most fascinating aspect of my total transition has been to watch (as you refer to above) how my thought processes have changed over time. My attitudes, philosophies and beliefs have modified themselves into more feminine perspectives. My journey has been fascinating, rewarding and enriching. And being accepted as a woman, by other women, is the best reward for all of my efforts.

Alexis, a wonderful look at the MtF transition process!  Indeed, I think your comments should fit into another whole new post because I think the "grasping the woman part" is the most difficult part of the process and deserves a closer look.

"Making a Woman" A Cyrsti's Condo Archive Post

As you can tell, I'm taking a big ol 2 day "cation" from the Condo, so through the miracle of modern technology I'm presenting a couple of older posts from this year which brought quite a bit of reaction:

"As I look back at my transition process in the early stages, one of the most difficult ideas to overcome was the idea that I made a good looking woman. All semantics aside, I don't think I ever had the power to make a woman. My problem was of course I was being compared to the man I was. Now before you may be thinking I'm being a total brat-hear me out.

 First of all, I was truly lost. Sure the compliments would send me into vanity heaven for weeks but in truth the "buzz" was similar to what I experience when I eat a couple of my favorite cookies. The sugar high just turns into empty calories and is gone all too soon. Looking back of course I was searching for my true transgender feelings,. Deep down I knew my cross dressing was just a quick fix and refused to face it. Following up on my last post, I slowly but surely began to open my closet door. On occasion I did it the right way but other times I was terrible. I pulled some stunts on my wife I will always regret. On the positive side though I went out into the world as a woman by mutual agreement. We enjoyed enough of an income that I could take my clothes and makeup with me, get a motel room change and spend the day out and about. The absolute most stunning realization was I just couldn't do this as just a another faceless person in public. There had to be more.

Quickly I learned I had to interact with the public. Going back to the last post, these weren't the people at the cross dressing meetings I went to or the people at gay venues-these were strangers who expected some sort of response from me as a perceived woman or even trans woman. To make matters more complicated, these encounters were normally always different. An example would a stranger asking me for directions followed my a clerk asking me for my size. No matter how good or bad, big or small these public interactions were, I would take them home with me and build off of them. Also, before I forget to tell you all this was occurring over years.

My goal. My own hair this length, color and style

Slowly but surely though my whole thought pattern was beginning to take on a different idea of who I was. I was fitting more and more into that newer transgender niche. During this time of discovery, I was starting to really stretch the boundaries of being a woman in the world. Shopping turned into lunch, lunch turned into going places I had never been before and finally to my first visit at night to a busy casual dining restaurant. Was this process tough? Of course it was. No matter how the early compliments of being an attractive woman echoed in my head. There were (and are) people who took great delight in letting me know I wasn't. On the other hand, I found the power of feminine socialization overcame the narrow minded idiots.

Again and again my message to any of you who may be in the same spot I was in years ago is somehow, someway you have to find a way to try to live it. Who knows, if you do you may find you are content to be a cross dresser. As I continually stress there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and you may be able to hold your life together and have fun with it.

The true tragedy comes when a person tries to take their gender identity too far. I know a person who went through SRS to simply become the best looking woman in the room but never grasped the "woman" part. I can only say no matter how tough this journey has been-it was the right one for me. It just feels right. When you begin to get there-you will know or won't. That's OK too. You just could be that man who "makes a good looking woman!"