"Sex is between the legs, Gender is between the ears and Love transcends both if it is True."
Cyrsti Hart
Monday, November 11, 2013
Veteran's Day 2013
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| Justin Vivian Bond |
The sweet portion of what I want to say, is a big thank you to all you vets who served or who are still are serving.
The sad portion is too many think just coming home is enough to heal the vet from a lifetime of ills. In my day, the government turned it's back (and still does) on the Agent Orange Vietnam Vets and now they are doing it again with current vets. Many are waiting for a year for the VA just to determine benefits.
The bitter portion is the most tragic of all. Transgender service members, a significant number when compared to society's averages are fighting for the exact liberties they are denied. As we all know, the basic rights extended to the gay and lesbian troops officially weren't for transgender military members.So it seems every year I write the same Veterans Day piece. Hopefully next year I can change it!
Chrysis
From Wikipedia
International Chrysis was a member of the Hot Peaches troupe and appeared briefly in the 1968 documentary The Queen. She toured drag supper clubs in the 1970s and moved her show to nightclubs in the 1980s, performing her revues Jesus Chrysis Superstar and the Last Temptation of Chrysis. She appeared in the 1990 film Q&A shortly before her death.
Chrysis died of liver cancer, attributed to illegal breast enhancement injections and high levels of hormones.A documentary about her life was released posthumously. Dead or Alive briefly recorded under the name "International Chrysis" in her honor.
International Chrysis was a member of the Hot Peaches troupe and appeared briefly in the 1968 documentary The Queen. She toured drag supper clubs in the 1970s and moved her show to nightclubs in the 1980s, performing her revues Jesus Chrysis Superstar and the Last Temptation of Chrysis. She appeared in the 1990 film Q&A shortly before her death.
Chrysis died of liver cancer, attributed to illegal breast enhancement injections and high levels of hormones.A documentary about her life was released posthumously. Dead or Alive briefly recorded under the name "International Chrysis" in her honor.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Under Construction
Way back when here in Cyrsti's Condo, I re-posted an subject called "Making a Woman" and Alexis Michelle added her take on the subject. Of course with my more than cynical thoughts on the matter, I didn't think I was qualified to make a woman.
Ironically, I guess I am one of those guys who did make a good woman- or I'm trying very hard to do just that.
I call the process gender "socialization", while Alexis called it "grasping the woman part" but we were on the same page. Plus, let me be clear here, I'm not talking exclusively about the feminine appearance standard we all get caught up in. In my own case, I'm far from a "natural" as a woman and will always have to use every physical trick I can learn to present in the world as a woman. To compensate though, I learned a couple positive powerful tools such as confidence and attitude with wonderful potential. Now I have the freedom of walking into situations in the world as a transgender woman knowing what to expect and how to deal with the most important part of the population...other women. Not an easy process for anyone, especially me, but this is how I started.
As soon as I progressed to a point where I felt I could basically blend in with the world as a woman, I got serious about the "socialization" process. Without going too far in depth, the process became very complex for me...quickly. Social feminine interaction was similar to peeling back a onion. Once I peeled back one layer, another was exposed and yes the process brought me to tears a number of times. As I did, I found the main problem people had with me was they didn't know anything about a transgender person such as me. Once I became a real person to them, most of them were accepting. Far more than I ever thought!
As Alexis said "Being accepted as a woman by other women is the greatest reward of all." and she is right. Genetic girls have been raised with highly effective B.S. detectors (sometimes known as feminine intuition), so acceptance is not taken lightly.
As I have said many times, I never thought I could ever get to this point in my life as a transgender woman. I can only say the process has been a wonderful trip recently after years of gender hell. I do get a giggle when someone seems to think my transition journey has been an overnight "walk in the park" success story.
The opposite is true of course. I guess when I make something the right way, it takes a lot of time!
Ironically, I guess I am one of those guys who did make a good woman- or I'm trying very hard to do just that.
I call the process gender "socialization", while Alexis called it "grasping the woman part" but we were on the same page. Plus, let me be clear here, I'm not talking exclusively about the feminine appearance standard we all get caught up in. In my own case, I'm far from a "natural" as a woman and will always have to use every physical trick I can learn to present in the world as a woman. To compensate though, I learned a couple positive powerful tools such as confidence and attitude with wonderful potential. Now I have the freedom of walking into situations in the world as a transgender woman knowing what to expect and how to deal with the most important part of the population...other women. Not an easy process for anyone, especially me, but this is how I started.
As soon as I progressed to a point where I felt I could basically blend in with the world as a woman, I got serious about the "socialization" process. Without going too far in depth, the process became very complex for me...quickly. Social feminine interaction was similar to peeling back a onion. Once I peeled back one layer, another was exposed and yes the process brought me to tears a number of times. As I did, I found the main problem people had with me was they didn't know anything about a transgender person such as me. Once I became a real person to them, most of them were accepting. Far more than I ever thought!
As Alexis said "Being accepted as a woman by other women is the greatest reward of all." and she is right. Genetic girls have been raised with highly effective B.S. detectors (sometimes known as feminine intuition), so acceptance is not taken lightly.
As I have said many times, I never thought I could ever get to this point in my life as a transgender woman. I can only say the process has been a wonderful trip recently after years of gender hell. I do get a giggle when someone seems to think my transition journey has been an overnight "walk in the park" success story.
The opposite is true of course. I guess when I make something the right way, it takes a lot of time!
Back in the Saddle
I'm back and settled in here in Cyrsti's Condo! A pleasant surprise was this comment to one of the archive posts Making a Woman from Alexis Michelle:
This post does deliver the message that when you do transition there has to be a significant adjustment in so many varied and different areas. Presenting yourself as a woman is a challenge that requires a persona fitting the role. You simply have to 'grasp the woman part.' to succeed.
This makeover takes time and practice to achieve and one must expect to stumble occasionally. I know that I did just that, many times. In fact, I am still adapting to the female role. Looking back, I can remember my early ventures out into the big world. I was terrified. I felt that everyone was looking at me. And many may have been.
Confidence in yourself as befitting the gender you present as is critical. I was already aware that feminine deportment was quite different than the male I had been. It took me time to become comfortable with that aspect of my new female life. In my experiences, I also found many instances where a comment or situation caught me by surprise, and luckily I was able to 'think on my feet' and give a hopefully feminine response.
And as one of those men who 'make a good looking woman' I've had to adjust to that also. But perhaps the most fascinating aspect of my total transition has been to watch (as you refer to above) how my thought processes have changed over time. My attitudes, philosophies and beliefs have modified themselves into more feminine perspectives. My journey has been fascinating, rewarding and enriching. And being accepted as a woman, by other women, is the best reward for all of my efforts.
Alexis, a wonderful look at the MtF transition process! Indeed, I think your comments should fit into another whole new post because I think the "grasping the woman part" is the most difficult part of the process and deserves a closer look.
This post does deliver the message that when you do transition there has to be a significant adjustment in so many varied and different areas. Presenting yourself as a woman is a challenge that requires a persona fitting the role. You simply have to 'grasp the woman part.' to succeed.
This makeover takes time and practice to achieve and one must expect to stumble occasionally. I know that I did just that, many times. In fact, I am still adapting to the female role. Looking back, I can remember my early ventures out into the big world. I was terrified. I felt that everyone was looking at me. And many may have been.
Confidence in yourself as befitting the gender you present as is critical. I was already aware that feminine deportment was quite different than the male I had been. It took me time to become comfortable with that aspect of my new female life. In my experiences, I also found many instances where a comment or situation caught me by surprise, and luckily I was able to 'think on my feet' and give a hopefully feminine response.
And as one of those men who 'make a good looking woman' I've had to adjust to that also. But perhaps the most fascinating aspect of my total transition has been to watch (as you refer to above) how my thought processes have changed over time. My attitudes, philosophies and beliefs have modified themselves into more feminine perspectives. My journey has been fascinating, rewarding and enriching. And being accepted as a woman, by other women, is the best reward for all of my efforts.
Alexis, a wonderful look at the MtF transition process! Indeed, I think your comments should fit into another whole new post because I think the "grasping the woman part" is the most difficult part of the process and deserves a closer look.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
"Making a Woman" A Cyrsti's Condo Archive Post
As you can tell, I'm taking a big ol 2 day "cation" from the Condo, so through the miracle of modern technology I'm presenting a couple of older posts from this year which brought quite a bit of reaction:
"As I look back at my transition process in the early stages, one of the most difficult ideas to overcome was the idea that I made a good looking woman. All semantics aside, I don't think I ever had the power to make a woman. My problem was of course I was being compared to the man I was. Now before you may be thinking I'm being a total brat-hear me out.
First of all, I was truly lost. Sure the compliments would send me into vanity heaven for weeks but in truth the "buzz" was similar to what I experience when I eat a couple of my favorite cookies. The sugar high just turns into empty calories and is gone all too soon. Looking back of course I was searching for my true transgender feelings,. Deep down I knew my cross dressing was just a quick fix and refused to face it. Following up on my last post, I slowly but surely began to open my closet door. On occasion I did it the right way but other times I was terrible. I pulled some stunts on my wife I will always regret. On the positive side though I went out into the world as a woman by mutual agreement. We enjoyed enough of an income that I could take my clothes and makeup with me, get a motel room change and spend the day out and about. The absolute most stunning realization was I just couldn't do this as just a another faceless person in public. There had to be more.
Quickly I learned I had to interact with the public. Going back to the last post, these weren't the people at the cross dressing meetings I went to or the people at gay venues-these were strangers who expected some sort of response from me as a perceived woman or even trans woman. To make matters more complicated, these encounters were normally always different. An example would a stranger asking me for directions followed my a clerk asking me for my size. No matter how good or bad, big or small these public interactions were, I would take them home with me and build off of them. Also, before I forget to tell you all this was occurring over years.
Slowly but surely though my whole thought pattern was beginning to take on a different idea of who I was. I was fitting more and more into that newer transgender niche. During this time of discovery, I was starting to really stretch the boundaries of being a woman in the world. Shopping turned into lunch, lunch turned into going places I had never been before and finally to my first visit at night to a busy casual dining restaurant.
Was this process tough? Of course it was. No matter how the early compliments of being an attractive woman echoed in my head. There were (and are) people who took great delight in letting me know I wasn't. On the other hand, I found the power of feminine socialization overcame the narrow minded idiots.
Again and again my message to any of you who may be in the same spot I was in years ago is somehow, someway you have to find a way to try to live it. Who knows, if you do you may find you are content to be a cross dresser. As I continually stress there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and you may be able to hold your life together and have fun with it.
The true tragedy comes when a person tries to take their gender identity too far. I know a person who went through SRS to simply become the best looking woman in the room but never grasped the "woman" part. I can only say no matter how tough this journey has been-it was the right one for me. It just feels right. When you begin to get there-you will know or won't. That's OK too. You just could be that man who "makes a good looking woman!"
"As I look back at my transition process in the early stages, one of the most difficult ideas to overcome was the idea that I made a good looking woman. All semantics aside, I don't think I ever had the power to make a woman. My problem was of course I was being compared to the man I was. Now before you may be thinking I'm being a total brat-hear me out.
First of all, I was truly lost. Sure the compliments would send me into vanity heaven for weeks but in truth the "buzz" was similar to what I experience when I eat a couple of my favorite cookies. The sugar high just turns into empty calories and is gone all too soon. Looking back of course I was searching for my true transgender feelings,. Deep down I knew my cross dressing was just a quick fix and refused to face it. Following up on my last post, I slowly but surely began to open my closet door. On occasion I did it the right way but other times I was terrible. I pulled some stunts on my wife I will always regret. On the positive side though I went out into the world as a woman by mutual agreement. We enjoyed enough of an income that I could take my clothes and makeup with me, get a motel room change and spend the day out and about. The absolute most stunning realization was I just couldn't do this as just a another faceless person in public. There had to be more.
Quickly I learned I had to interact with the public. Going back to the last post, these weren't the people at the cross dressing meetings I went to or the people at gay venues-these were strangers who expected some sort of response from me as a perceived woman or even trans woman. To make matters more complicated, these encounters were normally always different. An example would a stranger asking me for directions followed my a clerk asking me for my size. No matter how good or bad, big or small these public interactions were, I would take them home with me and build off of them. Also, before I forget to tell you all this was occurring over years.
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| My goal. My own hair this length, color and style |
Again and again my message to any of you who may be in the same spot I was in years ago is somehow, someway you have to find a way to try to live it. Who knows, if you do you may find you are content to be a cross dresser. As I continually stress there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and you may be able to hold your life together and have fun with it.
The true tragedy comes when a person tries to take their gender identity too far. I know a person who went through SRS to simply become the best looking woman in the room but never grasped the "woman" part. I can only say no matter how tough this journey has been-it was the right one for me. It just feels right. When you begin to get there-you will know or won't. That's OK too. You just could be that man who "makes a good looking woman!"
Dating Yourself? A Cyrsti's Condo Archive Post
I posted this in January 2013:
"Maybe I should say-would you date your old male self? I saw this question on a YouTube video and was fascinated. I have asked here in Cyrsti's Condo would you be the kind of daughter Mom would like or even would you be the kind of girl she would like to see her son bring home? Back to the question, would I date me? For no particular egotistical reason I would say yes.
As with so many other young men in my circles, sports and cars dominated my existence so as a young woman I would have had to expect it and adjust. I worked and had an income so as a young woman I could go with me and have interesting dates. (Or at least get out of the house!) I suppose I was reasonable looking and smart enough to be headed to college so there were worse guys to be seen with. Drawbacks? As any male, past and present-old and young-I had an ego.
In fact as a transgender woman I deal with it now with any men I meet. To think genetic women don't learn to deal with the game all their lives is crazy. Some just do it better than others and one way or another I would have had been socialized to the experience.
I was never a dating "superstar" and I certainly didn't fall into the "bad boy" category which genetic women supposedly are drawn to. Ironically the reason I wouldn't date me is because of my gender alignments. The ripping and tearing of my male and female sides made life miserable for me and all around me at times. As I got older, I also turned to self medication in the form of alcohol for the most part and considered myself rather "non civilized" following seven consecutive years in college and the Army.
Perhaps the women who did date and marry me felt the basic female need to nurture and change me? The only thing I do know is my wife of 25 years said several times she saw the basic good in me under the turmoil thank God!
At any rate, it's a fun and interesting question for all of us to ponder-trans women or trans men. The next time you pull out the mirror to admire or dislike your image, try looking past the mirror and take a better look at yourself. The process may just make you a better woman or man."
"Maybe I should say-would you date your old male self? I saw this question on a YouTube video and was fascinated. I have asked here in Cyrsti's Condo would you be the kind of daughter Mom would like or even would you be the kind of girl she would like to see her son bring home? Back to the question, would I date me? For no particular egotistical reason I would say yes.
As with so many other young men in my circles, sports and cars dominated my existence so as a young woman I would have had to expect it and adjust. I worked and had an income so as a young woman I could go with me and have interesting dates. (Or at least get out of the house!) I suppose I was reasonable looking and smart enough to be headed to college so there were worse guys to be seen with. Drawbacks? As any male, past and present-old and young-I had an ego.
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| Picture from two summers ago with wig. |
Perhaps the women who did date and marry me felt the basic female need to nurture and change me? The only thing I do know is my wife of 25 years said several times she saw the basic good in me under the turmoil thank God!
At any rate, it's a fun and interesting question for all of us to ponder-trans women or trans men. The next time you pull out the mirror to admire or dislike your image, try looking past the mirror and take a better look at yourself. The process may just make you a better woman or man."
Do Blondes Have More Fun?
Depends on the blond, right? Cross dresser or not, check out this blond on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:
Note from Cyrsti...you really have to stick with this video to see how amazing he looks at the end. I almost went to sleep during the eye make up portion. Then again I have a short attention span but I was dazzled by his skill and attention to detail with makeup. Not learned overnight I'm sure. Plus from the look in his eyes at the end, I'm not sure he knew what to do with the finished product.
Note from Cyrsti...you really have to stick with this video to see how amazing he looks at the end. I almost went to sleep during the eye make up portion. Then again I have a short attention span but I was dazzled by his skill and attention to detail with makeup. Not learned overnight I'm sure. Plus from the look in his eyes at the end, I'm not sure he knew what to do with the finished product.
Ines Rau
Oh, by the way, she is transgender!Ines recently came out and said she was inspired by "Tula". Other wise known as famous "007" Bond Girl Caroline Cossey seen -below.
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