My! How Things Change!

Every now and then I take a deep breath and try to look back at the blur of the last couple of years around here in Cyrsti's Condo. It's tough to go back through approximately 2500 posts and select a couple which really stand out.

This post was called "When Fetish Became Style" and may be familiar to many of you with similar early cross dressing experiences:

"Finally I realized my the years of looking at genetic women were different than the other guys around me and was obviously very confusing to me. From the earliest stages, most certainly my interest sexually was more fetish than anything else. But the feelings very quickly moved to a much deeper level.

In my teen years I dated a tall girl who always entranced me with how she slowly crossed her legs in my car. I wondered at the time why I wasn't more into her from a male sexual view point. Instead, I wanted to have those long hose covered legs teasing someone like she teased me. I know now she had a couple other factors in play other than just "teasing" me. Fashion in those days was the mini skirt so she was trying to sit in the car as modestly as the skirt would allow. Add in those long legs and the problem of snagging her hose on something and the process was not so easy for a person who was essentially a farm girl. Not to mention budgetary issues from buying new hose everyday!

As the years progressed panty hose became just a fashion accessory to me and movement became more important. Example?  I'm still working on the smooth all in one motion a woman uses when she slides into a seat and crosses her legs in one motion. Now, as most things do, fashion has gone full cycle and in the summer months, if a woman is wearing any kind of hose at all, my first reaction is she is a cross dresser or very old.

Quickly, the more I became involved in putting together a consistent style for myself, the more I looked for it in other women. I was helped along by the way I had viewed women in my entire life. An example is how I vividly remember watching how my Mom put on her lipstick when I was very young. I just happened to outwardly be her son not her daughter.

Also, the process began to carry with it an understanding of how both genders look at women. Men for obvious reasons and women just as obvious too. As with most things in life though, a woman's view of other women is much more complex and the old saying that "women dress for each other" is definitely true.

Now I feel going through that style process has led me to a greater understanding of my feelings of so many years ago. I simply was in a struggle to discover my own style in a feminine sense. Going deeper though, the whole process could have been one of the demarcation points between me identifying as a cross dresser or a transgender person?"

Good question, and one anymore I don't spend very much time thinking about.  Now I know "I yam who I yam" and that has to be good enough. But who the hell thought of this way to get here???

Archive "Picks"

Kenyon born and raised Biko Beauttah
















                                                      Eva Robins (below)

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Guys having too much fun at a woman less beauty pageant!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Sent along by Pat in response to a recent post "Why? Because it Is" :

"The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr would seem to fit your posting. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

Thanks Pat! The wisdom part is the toughest for me!

Androgyny in the Middle East

Interesting video from YouTube on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen which covers a lot of ground, androgyny, drag and Islam:

BoHo and the Bad Ass Girl

As fall approaches in my part of the world, of course fashion changes too. It's time to move my "boho" style (shown by model on left)....

 to more of a "bad girl" style with my black leather coat and boots. Shown by the model in the montage on the right.

I know what you are thinking already. "Look Cyrsti, you and I both can't and shouldn't attempt some of these looks, for any number of reasons." You are totally correct. If you are pencil thin and look like Andrej Pejic, I'm thinking you probably aren't reading this anyhow! I'm certainly neither and have the "age appropriate" fashion problems too!

What we all can do is adapt certain elements of the fashion trends to our own styles and then go deep discount shopping to find the pieces.

Remember, there is always a sale somewhere girls and I think all of these style challenges are one of the best parts of being a girl. Here's my saying "I may have not been able to pull it off but I shopped to death trying to do it!"

Here are couple of sites to further the cause Free People  and Betty Confidential to take a look at. Then if you are like me, here's the process I go through:
1.- Subtract the pieces which are age and body inappropiate.
2.- Subtract the pieces I can't afford.
3.- Check my closet for items which may be similar I can use.
4.- Value shop for new fashion appropriate pieces to add.

As I always say here in Cyrsti's Condo, thrift stores are great places to find classic adds to your wardrobe or make classic blunders.  One way or another you don't get classically hit in your finances.

Why? Because It Is What It Is.

As I interact this morning with my canine companion of over 12 years, I'm fairly sure I give her more credit for knowing what happens around here and the reason it does.  Of course she knows certain activities are going to happen like food, water, potty breaks and rides in the car. But as I understand it dogs don't have the reasoning power to understand why it does or doesn't. When.she doesn't get her ride in the car or her puppy treats, she doesn't reason why.

As so many of us have struggled over the years to understand the reasons behind our gender paths (cross dresser, transgender or transsexual) I began to think, are we like dogs? We really don't know why we are on this path, we just are.

As humans though, most of us do have the power to reason our way through the unreasonable. Speaking for myself, I wish I had all the time, energy and money I wasted attempting to figure out a reason returned. I went the self medicating alcohol route and the therapy route too Over the span of four decades I had four. One,  a waste, one incredible and two middle of the road. The middle of the road therapists faced the impossible task of encouraging me to look for what I didn't want to find anyhow. They did their job.

I have always disliked the phrase "it is what is is" but certainly in my life being transgender was what it was and I can only look forward to the future. Not cry about the spilled milk of the past. In fact I just spilled some of my cats milk on the kitchen floor and the dog is eagerly taking care of the mess.  She doesn't care why it's there. It just is and it's good!

Cross Dressing On Halloween

We have made it to the middle of August. A time when many cross dressers begin to look ahead longingly at the possibility of being the princess of their dreams at Halloween.

Indeed it's an exciting time if you do it right and as I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo, a Halloween party turned out to be the first true coming out party for me so many years ago.

If you are new to the cross dressing process, this video may help with a few "basics":

A Transphobic Pioneer?

For those "more mature" girls here in Cyrsti's Condo, the "dark ages" of information during our youth and longer is hard to remember. How did we exist back in those days without our cellphones and all the other electronic info devices we have today.  The answer is simple, unless you lived in a major metropolitan area, obtaining any information concerning your gender identity issues was tough to come by.

One of the first persons I discovered was Virginia Prince (left). As with most issues in our community Virginia is thought of in many different ways. On one hand she lived nearly 40 years as a woman but denied being a transsexual, which today could be considered transgender but also was perceived as being homo and transphobic.

None of that really mattered to me as I eagerly read her first couple of books including the "The Transvestite and His Wife"- and never showing it to my wife who knew I was a cross dresser.  Shortly after that in the early 1990's I began to attend far away Tri Ess meetings, a  nearly 150 mile one way trip and subscribed to Transvestia. Published by Virginia.  Ironically, I benefited so much from many of the exact problems she had with others. Transsexuals in particular.

Very quickly I found there were several groups within a group at the so called hetero cross dresser "only" meetings.  One of the "groups" would always separate from the main bunch in the hotel we met at and go to the nearest gay venue. Those evenings included some of my first contacts with the diverse subculture I was in including transsexuals and drag queens. Let's just say I had a fairly good idea a portion of the group were not completely "hetero" cross dressers. I loved the diversity of the group.

Then as today, I do think of Virginia Prince of one of the gender pioneers in my life. She opened my world, although I did view her as a throwback to my stodgy old grandmother.

If you don't know much about her, Dallas Denny has written an excellent in depth look at her life. To take a look, go here.

One Picture Worth a Thousand Words

From Allentown Pa. Pride Day: