The Elephant in the Corner

In this case our Cyrsti's Condo pachyderm in the pink tutu has her hand out.

As far as I can tell there are three basic ways you can "finance" your blog:

1.-not at all- no ads
2.-ads which do pay the blogger a minimal percent based on factors such as people "clicking" on them.
3.- the "tip jar" where you are encouraged to make a donation.

Of course you have seen the ads on my blog. In fact there is probably one flashing at you right now. Do I like them? No. Do I need them? Yes I do make a minimal amount when and if you think they are compelling enough to look at. Yes I do value the minimal amount I make. Finally, no I don't have very much say in which ad's they are.  Truly I might if I was smart enough to learn the system more.

Speaking of the almighty "system", it is bigger than the elephant in the corner.  "Back in the day" I basically played with starting blogs on a Word Press format and here on Blogger. As time went along, my very limited idea of the technical side of a blog led me here and off of Word Press.  Nothing they did...just me.

Occasionally I think about updating the format/template I work off of here. There are many and I see several pros and cons of maybe attempting an "upgrade" of sorts which will allow us to "grow" here. So we will see. Obviously I'm paranoid about doing something dumb and not being able to recapture the work I have done.

In the meantime, I figured I would fill you in about the pink tutu which is not mine. Mine is purple!

And You Thought this was Easy?

No silly's not writing Cyrsti's Condo. As any blogger will tell you, be careful before a labor of love, hope and understanding becomes a job! Some days I have writers and world block and keep asking my dog for ideas. I'm sure you remember several of those posts and thought "just what the hell was she thinking?"

I'm sure videos must be the same and even worse from the technical end and here's an example. This drag queen looks good doing it too!

Boxers and Binders and Street Signs

All too often here in Cyrsti's Condo I feel as if I don't mention the "other" side of the transgender street, the trans men.

Trans guys should be mentioned if for no other reason in my part of the world, FtM guys are becoming very dynamic and public. Dare I say the testosterone effect may play a part?

I have always wondered about the different dynamics both genders face when we decide to "jump fences" if you will.  The shallow comparisons come in the form of changing appearances which seem to favor the trans guys.  It's easier to masculate a body than feminize one after puberty.

On a deeper level is the question of gender privilege. I prefer not to discuss privilege again but to simply say it's in the mind of the beholder and in the imaginations of certain groups. I do follow the "other side of the street" closely and my latest "discovery" is Anthony Doubek's blog and writings "Boxers and Binders"

When I read Anthony's thoughts, I invariably come up with all kinds of questions such as - is there any division in the trans male community being identified with the lesbian/butch group?  I do understand that after a certain point in the FtM transition process the groups would naturally separate. Furthermore, I'm always on the outlook for signs of the perpetual bickering which goes on here on our side of the street.

For a closer look at the "other side of street" go here and check out Anthony Doubek!

I Lost my Keys

Or should I say I lost my keys again.

Momma Karma just beats me up in the key department because of all the time I spent in my life as a guy making fun of women losing their keys. Of course when an object such as a set of keys was dropped into the black hole of many of the purses I saw, it's no wonder the keys never came out. I marveled at the absolute courage of the woman carrying the purse to even stick her hand in there at all.  Haha.

I more than likely don't have to tell you where I'm going with this. When all of the sudden my life on the run moved from a simple billfold to a purse with all of life's needs...I too can't find my damn keys. You organizational freaks don't have to pile on me here.  Rumor has it, I'm not the most organized person -seemingly like a ton of women I have known. So yes I could get it all organized for at least a day or two.

You rational folks don't have to pile on me either. I did upgrade to a bigger key chain but after all, a girl still has to be stylish and not carry a foot long piece of wood with her keys on it.

Plus I do have an excuse to throw in. I'm old dammit!

Oh well, what goes around comes around and often it picks up speed when it does.  I just hope I'm quick enough to grab my keys on the way by!

Cross Dressing Cuties

On the Cyrsti's Condo big screen a video called "cross dressing men"

The Cult of Cross Dressing

Several years ago when I still couldn't claim being young, I still could claim to be naive in the ways of certain on line transgender women's groups called "trans nazi's" ( a label I borrowed ). Most were of the SRS variety.

As you probably have guessed by now, I'm not above "stirring the pot" on occasion. One evening I succeeded well with the comment "aren't we all cross dressers?". Very quickly all the trans nazi pedestal sitters jumped down to berate such heresy in their realm.

These days I'm much older and mellower and let the trans trolls alone, but....yes I still believe we are all cross dressers of different stages and ilk. No matter how many operations and how many chemicals you ingest, the greatest majority of us came out of the womb as one of the binary genders...externally. From whatever age we start, we cross dress to match the world with our inner gender clocks ticking away in our noggins. Which brings me to another point.

The good old self destructive hierarchy in our community. You know, TS's TG's and then CD's. I fired the group up one night when I told them their "system"  is a patriarchal  bleed through of the worst kind from their male genders.  Not unlike, hey look what I bought! No it's not a Corvette, it's a vagina! Until you get your own, well don't talk to me in your beat up old Chevy.

Not a popular position with the girls and again I learned very early my rather comfortable position as a middle of the road transgender girl wasn't good enough for a seat at the transsexual table and was too good somehow to sit with the cross dressers. How dare I attempt to live my life as a woman without all the sacrifices of surgery?

As you have also guessed by now, I don't spend a lot of time worrying about what others think of me and I do know that so many of us have had to fight tooth and nail for any public feminine existence we can achieve.  Unless you are a "natural" you need to use your time as a cross dresser to discover what is really going on inside of you.

Plus,none of us should care about the silly labels anyhow!

**Most of the definitions are from the "Urban Dictionary".

Where Do I Vote?

Actually I can't vote for Janet Rice. She is running for office in Australia and I am running to the store in Ohio.
She rides the "mayorial bike" to work, is a proponent of ending climate change (with a degree) and oh, by the way just happens to be married to Penny.  Penny went through SRS sometime ago and now the two are a happy legal same sex marriage in Australia with two sons:

Cyrsti's Condo "Horror Scope"

I like this one! :


Libra, (September 23-October 22): Your magnetism will be unstoppable, which can throw you into a tailspin, as hotness will surround you too. Whatever, a little heat never hurt anybody, least of all you. So, shift into fearless mode and learn to juggle, as you won’t be satisfied until ever inch of your body and minute of your time gets occupied with danger.


I hope one person in particular doesn't read this!  To read your scope go here to theFrisky.

"C" Words.

Recently I have a couple of individuals who were kind enough to call me courageous because of how I live my transgender life. Here is a portion of my reply to one of the comments:

"As far as courage goes, I appreciate the kind words but courage goes a little too deep in any description of me. While I appreciate the compliment,  to me an act of courage is reserved for people such as first responders and military service members. On the other hand I feel I was simply a member of circumstance."

Then I begin to think the process through and came up with another "C" word -  cowardice.  Well maybe cowardice is a little too harsh. I didn't turn tail and run but for any number of reasons I was afraid to face the obvious in my life. I was transgender. Then, when I finally came to owning being trans , I had to choose what to do.

Choices of course have their own set of issues. How to proceed with HRT was a huge one! Even bigger though was the choice of owning myself and the fact I have always been this way.

Perhaps you have heard the term "you can't love another until you love yourself". Similiarly I learned until I accepted myself as a transgender woman ,  others couldn't chose to do the same. It's a process I still face today.  On occasion I so do want to run away and hide from the public as I did in my cross dressing years. Then again was I really cross dressing or just learning the ropes of my non birth gender?  Doesn't matter, The certainty I know is I have found me and I'm home.

If I was really good here I would come up with some sort of fancy equation such as Courage+Choice+Certainty = Ownership.  Then again it's utterly impossible to even consider pushing us all into the little round or square holes we have so desperately tried to climb out of!

Finally, how can I forget (cause I'm old?) two other "C" words...Cyrsti's Condo!