Thursday, April 11, 2013
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
We Are In The Comics
Once banned from the world of mainstream comic books by the infamous Comics Code Authority, LGBT characters now have a stronger presence in the world of superhero comics than ever before, with gay and lesbian heroes like Batwoman, Northstar and Green Lantern Alan Scott openly declaring who they are — and even getting married. Today, DC Comics told Wired that it will continue to expand the LGBT diversity of its superhero universe by introducing the first openly transgender character in a mainstream superhero comic. In Batgirl #19, on sale today in both print and digital formats, the character Alysia Yeoh will reveal that she is a transwoman in a conversation with her roommate, Barbara Gordon (aka Batgirl). Taking care to distinguish Yeoh’s sexual orientation from her gender identity, Batgirl writer Gail Simone noted that the character is also bisexual.
You "Make" a Good Looking Woman
As I look back at my transition process in the early stages, one of the most difficult ideas to overcome was the idea that I made a good looking woman. All semantics aside, I don't think I ever had the power to make a woman.
My problem was of course I was being compared to the man I was. Now before you may be thinking I'm being a total brat-hear me out.
First of all, I was truly lost. Sure the compliments would send me into vanity heaven for weeks but in truth the "buzz" was similar to what I experience when I eat a couple of my favorite cookies. The sugar high just turns into empty calories and is gone all too soon. Looking back of course I was searching for my true transgender feelings,. Deep down I knew my cross dressing was just a quick fix and refused to face it.
Following up on my last post, I slowly but surely began to open my closet door. On occasion I did it the right way but other times I was terrible. I pulled some stunts on my wife I will always regret. On the positive side though I went out into the world as a woman by mutual agreement. We enjoyed enough of an income that I could take my clothes and makeup with me, get a motel room change and spend the day out and about.
The absolute most stunning realization was I just couldn't do this as just a another faceless person in public. Quickly I learned I had to interact with the public. Going back to the last post, these weren't the people at the cross dressing meetings I went to or the people at gay venues-these were strangers who expected some sort of response from me as a perceived woman or even trans woman. To make matters more complicated, these encounters were normally always different. An example would a stranger asking me for directions followed my a clerk asking me for my size.
No matter how good or bad, big or small these public interactions were, I would take them home with me and build off of them. Also, before I forget to tell you all this was occurring over years. Slowly but surely though my whole thought pattern was beginning to take on a different idea of who I was. I was fitting more and more into that newer transgender niche. During this time of discovery, I was starting to really stretch the boundaries of being a woman in the world. Shopping turned into lunch, lunch turned into going places I had never been before and finally to my first visit at night to a busy casual dining restaurant.
Was this process tough? Of course it was. No matter how the early compliments of being an attractive woman echoed in my head. There were (and are) people who took great delight in letting me know I wasn't. On the other hand, I found the power of feminine socialization overcame the narrow minded idiots.
Again and again my message to any of you who may be in the same spot I was in years ago is somehow, someway you have to find a way to try to live it. Who knows, if you do you may find you are content to be a cross dresser. As I continually stress there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and you may be able to hold your life together and have fun with it. The true tragedy comes when a person tries to take their gender identity too far. I know a person who went through SRS to simply become the best looking woman in the room but never grasped the "woman" part.
I can only say no matter how tough this journey has been-it was the right one for me. It just feels right. When you begin to get there-you will know or won't. That's OK too. You just could me that man who "makes a good looking woman!"
My problem was of course I was being compared to the man I was. Now before you may be thinking I'm being a total brat-hear me out.
First of all, I was truly lost. Sure the compliments would send me into vanity heaven for weeks but in truth the "buzz" was similar to what I experience when I eat a couple of my favorite cookies. The sugar high just turns into empty calories and is gone all too soon. Looking back of course I was searching for my true transgender feelings,. Deep down I knew my cross dressing was just a quick fix and refused to face it.
Following up on my last post, I slowly but surely began to open my closet door. On occasion I did it the right way but other times I was terrible. I pulled some stunts on my wife I will always regret. On the positive side though I went out into the world as a woman by mutual agreement. We enjoyed enough of an income that I could take my clothes and makeup with me, get a motel room change and spend the day out and about.
The absolute most stunning realization was I just couldn't do this as just a another faceless person in public. Quickly I learned I had to interact with the public. Going back to the last post, these weren't the people at the cross dressing meetings I went to or the people at gay venues-these were strangers who expected some sort of response from me as a perceived woman or even trans woman. To make matters more complicated, these encounters were normally always different. An example would a stranger asking me for directions followed my a clerk asking me for my size.
No matter how good or bad, big or small these public interactions were, I would take them home with me and build off of them. Also, before I forget to tell you all this was occurring over years. Slowly but surely though my whole thought pattern was beginning to take on a different idea of who I was. I was fitting more and more into that newer transgender niche. During this time of discovery, I was starting to really stretch the boundaries of being a woman in the world. Shopping turned into lunch, lunch turned into going places I had never been before and finally to my first visit at night to a busy casual dining restaurant.
Was this process tough? Of course it was. No matter how the early compliments of being an attractive woman echoed in my head. There were (and are) people who took great delight in letting me know I wasn't. On the other hand, I found the power of feminine socialization overcame the narrow minded idiots.
Again and again my message to any of you who may be in the same spot I was in years ago is somehow, someway you have to find a way to try to live it. Who knows, if you do you may find you are content to be a cross dresser. As I continually stress there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and you may be able to hold your life together and have fun with it. The true tragedy comes when a person tries to take their gender identity too far. I know a person who went through SRS to simply become the best looking woman in the room but never grasped the "woman" part.
I can only say no matter how tough this journey has been-it was the right one for me. It just feels right. When you begin to get there-you will know or won't. That's OK too. You just could me that man who "makes a good looking woman!"
Are You Man Enough?
As most of you know I'm a regular visitor to Stana's Femulate blog. Her recent "real life experience" post I thought was very thought provoking. Basically, she was responding to a question or two about gaining "girl time" in the real world.
I get the same questions too of course. It's a tough answer. Perhaps you may remember my long ago mention of when my deceased wife finally told me "be man enough to be a woman". Which I suppose parallels Stana's "It's hard work being a woman" post.
From the outside looking in, it's easy to think is it that bad? Getting all dolled up in women's clothes-how much fun is that? My deceased wife used to call it the "Princess Syndrome". Taking hours to get ready every night just wasn't in her "woman's handbook".
I have never looked at the process as being "hard" as much as necessity. Sure, my hair, skin, nails etc take a lot more work but it comes with the territory.
Getting down to basics: How you get into the world as a woman" is as personal as you. Are you married or single. Do you have a family and job you are risking? As Stana said- trans conferences and the such won't get you far in learning what a woman's life is all about. My pet observation is you have to get out of the gay venues too.
I got my "start" doing my own shopping as a girl which forced me to interact as a woman (or trans woman) with the public and moved on from there. Because it worked for me, doesn't mean it will work for you. You just have to be creative and obsessive enough to know if you want this bad enough you can find away to do it.
Please go here to read the rest of the post on Femulate! In the meantime, I will try to come up with something more concise which may give you a better idea of my path.
I get the same questions too of course. It's a tough answer. Perhaps you may remember my long ago mention of when my deceased wife finally told me "be man enough to be a woman". Which I suppose parallels Stana's "It's hard work being a woman" post.
From the outside looking in, it's easy to think is it that bad? Getting all dolled up in women's clothes-how much fun is that? My deceased wife used to call it the "Princess Syndrome". Taking hours to get ready every night just wasn't in her "woman's handbook".
I have never looked at the process as being "hard" as much as necessity. Sure, my hair, skin, nails etc take a lot more work but it comes with the territory.
Getting down to basics: How you get into the world as a woman" is as personal as you. Are you married or single. Do you have a family and job you are risking? As Stana said- trans conferences and the such won't get you far in learning what a woman's life is all about. My pet observation is you have to get out of the gay venues too.
I got my "start" doing my own shopping as a girl which forced me to interact as a woman (or trans woman) with the public and moved on from there. Because it worked for me, doesn't mean it will work for you. You just have to be creative and obsessive enough to know if you want this bad enough you can find away to do it.
Please go here to read the rest of the post on Femulate! In the meantime, I will try to come up with something more concise which may give you a better idea of my path.
Just a Man being a Woman
Recently here in Cyrsti's Condo I have attempted to pass along YouTube videos which I thought covered everyone from transitioning transgender and transsexual women all the way to drag queens. All too often I have a tendency to leave out the cross dresser segment of our culture. I feel bad about it because all too often I think some cross dressers feel somehow I don't relate to them or put myself up on some pedestal because of my HRT or lifestyle. Let me tell you all-I'm terrible on pedestals and karma knocks me off every time!
To make amends check out this cross dressing video:
To make amends check out this cross dressing video:
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Over a Trans Man's Shoulder
Another comment on the "Over my Shoulder" trans security post here in Cyrsti's Condo:
"Any "man" that feels it necessary to be menacing isn't truly a man. I understand the thinking that if you dress a certain way what do you expect. However, that thinking does not make the treatment correct. All women have a right to dress however they feel without having to fear being accosted. Even as a Trans male I still scope out an area before I go out. I think in this day and age ANY person needs to be on the lookout for their safety. Draco on Looking over my Shoulder"
Thanks Draco for two huge reasons. Yes a real man doesn't and won't result to hostile behavior. As we all know though so many guys are so insecure in their manhood in so many ways it's tough to sort them out. Plus the great majority of trans women of course never approached a woman like that so we have to be careful that others do.
Two.- YES! Any person does have to be on their outlook for their safety!
Finally, not to embarrass Draco but I have known him for awhile and he just started on testosterone not long ago. Of all the transgender people I have known over the years, his amazing happiness of finally realizing some of his gender dreams was contagious. Your views are always welcome my friend!
"Any "man" that feels it necessary to be menacing isn't truly a man. I understand the thinking that if you dress a certain way what do you expect. However, that thinking does not make the treatment correct. All women have a right to dress however they feel without having to fear being accosted. Even as a Trans male I still scope out an area before I go out. I think in this day and age ANY person needs to be on the lookout for their safety. Draco on Looking over my Shoulder"
Thanks Draco for two huge reasons. Yes a real man doesn't and won't result to hostile behavior. As we all know though so many guys are so insecure in their manhood in so many ways it's tough to sort them out. Plus the great majority of trans women of course never approached a woman like that so we have to be careful that others do.
Two.- YES! Any person does have to be on their outlook for their safety!
Finally, not to embarrass Draco but I have known him for awhile and he just started on testosterone not long ago. Of all the transgender people I have known over the years, his amazing happiness of finally realizing some of his gender dreams was contagious. Your views are always welcome my friend!
Anti Trans Womyn
Over the years, a tremendous line in the girls sandbox has always been drawn by the radical feminist "womym's" movement. The annual Michigan Womyn's Music Festival in many ways has been a bigoted, short sighted rallying point against the transgender woman community.
In 1991 a transgender woman was ejected from the festival. Trans people began to organize multiple protests against the policy, including establishing Camp Trans outside the festival's gates. Over the years I have read with sadness the hate filled taunts which have gone back and forth from members of both sides.
Finally it seems movement is starting to happen. One of the popular musical acts "The Indigo Girls" released this statement coming out against transgender discrimination at the festival and more:
"To our community in regards to Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival We want you to know some of our thoughts about our participation in Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. Indigo Girls have a lot of respect for protest and dialogue in our feminist and queer movements, and we want to do our part to encourage growth and evolution in our community. We care about MWMF deeply, and in our years of playing the Festival, we have evolved and benefited from the experience. We have received many gifts from this unique and powerful gathering. Our hope for all the past years has been that the Festival would move towards an intention of Trans-Inclusion. We have continued to search our selves and look at both sides of this issue and truly respect the different points of view, but have always come back to our core belief that Trans Womyn should be included in the Festival, and their womynhood should be honored by the intentions of MWMF. The current intention for the Festival to be for “Womyn born Womyn” only grew out of an important necessity to honor the idea that womyn have a variety of self expression and appearance and they need a safe space where their womynhood is not in question as they stand in many different places on the spectrum from femininity to masculinity. This intention has a very important historic basis and has kept the space safe for many womyn over the years. But we strongly feel that the time is long overdue for a change of intention, to one that states very plainly the inclusion of Trans Womyn. To us, this change of intention is the only path to a truly “safe space” for womyn. We are in a time of struggle and rapid changes in our movement and we would be remiss to not recognize that many of the strides that have been made are a result of Trans Activism and the strength and perspective they have brought to the queer and feminist revolutions. We feel that if someone identifies as a womyn, they are a womyn and should be welcomed into our community with open arms. We will only be stronger for it. We will be playing the Festival this year in the spirit of change. We encourage the Founders and the community of MWMF to find the bravery and compassion that we are all endowed with to create a space that is Trans Inclusive. We know these changes are complex and take time and careful consideration. MWMF has a long and important history of being on the cutting edge of positive change- a torchbearer for the hard transitions within the feminist and queer movements. This is the time to fulfill MWMF’s most vital role in our community and help to honor the Trans Community out in the world, by honoring them within the world of Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. We hope in the end that we can all find our “safe space” and comfort on the sacred land of MWMF. We understand that there are many folks who feel passionately about these issues, but we encourage people on both sides to act peacefully when they express themselves. There is nothing to be gained from hateful rhetoric or aggressive actions. All over the world queer, and specifically Trans folks are beaten and killed for being who they are. The community of MWMF has a responsibility to fight this hate and be a beacon of love and light for all womyn suffering under hate and oppression, and this includes our Trans Sisters. If you are against Trans Inclusion at MWMF, that is your prerogative, but that does not mean you have to be aggressive towards the Trans community. This kind of hate and aggression will rip our community apart and we all know who benefits from “divide and conquer” and it’s not womyn or queers. Although we are playing the festival, we honor the current protest against MWMF and hope that it will help move the community towards change. Any money that we make playing the Festival will go towards Trans Activism. We will make a statement from stage at the Festival in support of Trans Inclusion. We have made it clear that this will be our last time at the Festival until MWMF shows visible and concrete signs of changing their intention. We have no animosity towards anyone in this case but see the deep and fearless legacy that MWMF has had during its existence and we honor that. We also honor the prayerfulness that has been a part of this struggle on both sides. This is not an easy path, so we empathize with all who struggle to make their decisions. We love Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival and hope for it’s continued presence and power in our lives. Sincerely, Amy and Emily Indigo Girls."
For more go here.
I don't want to state the obvious here but isn't this a total waste of time on the festival's part? Then again on occasion I have not been a welcome addition to the girls sandbox, especially if they were just peeing in it!
In 1991 a transgender woman was ejected from the festival. Trans people began to organize multiple protests against the policy, including establishing Camp Trans outside the festival's gates. Over the years I have read with sadness the hate filled taunts which have gone back and forth from members of both sides.
Finally it seems movement is starting to happen. One of the popular musical acts "The Indigo Girls" released this statement coming out against transgender discrimination at the festival and more:
"To our community in regards to Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival We want you to know some of our thoughts about our participation in Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. Indigo Girls have a lot of respect for protest and dialogue in our feminist and queer movements, and we want to do our part to encourage growth and evolution in our community. We care about MWMF deeply, and in our years of playing the Festival, we have evolved and benefited from the experience. We have received many gifts from this unique and powerful gathering. Our hope for all the past years has been that the Festival would move towards an intention of Trans-Inclusion. We have continued to search our selves and look at both sides of this issue and truly respect the different points of view, but have always come back to our core belief that Trans Womyn should be included in the Festival, and their womynhood should be honored by the intentions of MWMF. The current intention for the Festival to be for “Womyn born Womyn” only grew out of an important necessity to honor the idea that womyn have a variety of self expression and appearance and they need a safe space where their womynhood is not in question as they stand in many different places on the spectrum from femininity to masculinity. This intention has a very important historic basis and has kept the space safe for many womyn over the years. But we strongly feel that the time is long overdue for a change of intention, to one that states very plainly the inclusion of Trans Womyn. To us, this change of intention is the only path to a truly “safe space” for womyn. We are in a time of struggle and rapid changes in our movement and we would be remiss to not recognize that many of the strides that have been made are a result of Trans Activism and the strength and perspective they have brought to the queer and feminist revolutions. We feel that if someone identifies as a womyn, they are a womyn and should be welcomed into our community with open arms. We will only be stronger for it. We will be playing the Festival this year in the spirit of change. We encourage the Founders and the community of MWMF to find the bravery and compassion that we are all endowed with to create a space that is Trans Inclusive. We know these changes are complex and take time and careful consideration. MWMF has a long and important history of being on the cutting edge of positive change- a torchbearer for the hard transitions within the feminist and queer movements. This is the time to fulfill MWMF’s most vital role in our community and help to honor the Trans Community out in the world, by honoring them within the world of Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. We hope in the end that we can all find our “safe space” and comfort on the sacred land of MWMF. We understand that there are many folks who feel passionately about these issues, but we encourage people on both sides to act peacefully when they express themselves. There is nothing to be gained from hateful rhetoric or aggressive actions. All over the world queer, and specifically Trans folks are beaten and killed for being who they are. The community of MWMF has a responsibility to fight this hate and be a beacon of love and light for all womyn suffering under hate and oppression, and this includes our Trans Sisters. If you are against Trans Inclusion at MWMF, that is your prerogative, but that does not mean you have to be aggressive towards the Trans community. This kind of hate and aggression will rip our community apart and we all know who benefits from “divide and conquer” and it’s not womyn or queers. Although we are playing the festival, we honor the current protest against MWMF and hope that it will help move the community towards change. Any money that we make playing the Festival will go towards Trans Activism. We will make a statement from stage at the Festival in support of Trans Inclusion. We have made it clear that this will be our last time at the Festival until MWMF shows visible and concrete signs of changing their intention. We have no animosity towards anyone in this case but see the deep and fearless legacy that MWMF has had during its existence and we honor that. We also honor the prayerfulness that has been a part of this struggle on both sides. This is not an easy path, so we empathize with all who struggle to make their decisions. We love Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival and hope for it’s continued presence and power in our lives. Sincerely, Amy and Emily Indigo Girls."
For more go here.
I don't want to state the obvious here but isn't this a total waste of time on the festival's part? Then again on occasion I have not been a welcome addition to the girls sandbox, especially if they were just peeing in it!
Married in Malta
The government of Malta has decided to amend the Marriage Act. Now transsexuals may marry partners of their choice according to their 'acquired' gender.
The decision was brought on largely due to the efforts of Joanne Cassar a post op transsexual woman (right).From Maltatoday:
"Details on the legal amendment will reflect the principle that, by officially recognising a person's reassigned gender identity through documentation (eg, ID card or driver's licence), the State also de facto commits itself to acknowledging and protecting all the rights and privileges associated with that particular gender identity. These rights include that of marrying a person of the opposite sex: something hitherto denied for persons in this (admittedly uncommon) predicament. Once the legal amendments are in place, the case filed against Malta by Cassar will be withdrawn, and her legal expenses refunded by the State. The right of transgender persons to marry was firmly established in a preceding case dating back to 2002 - Christine Goodwin vs. the United Kingdom - where the ECtHR held that it found no justification for barring transsexuals from enjoying the right to marry under any circumstances."
"Cassar's reaction on Facebook was: "kemmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm jiena ferhanaaaaaaaaaaaaa grazzi il maltin ghax vera malta taghna il koll :) kemm jien ecitataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." [sic] No direct translation can quite do justice to such a spontaneous expression of "happiness", "excitement" and "gratitude". Suffice it to say that her keyboard evidently shared in her enthusiasm."
Cute!!!
Monday, April 8, 2013
Mommy! There's A Drag Queen on the Plane!
Check out this "cutesy" Facebook Ad on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:
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Breaking the Gender Chains
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