One is Company-Two is a Crowd

Probably by now you have heard the story about the transgender group who was asked not to come back to a bar they had been frequenting for years.
Ouch!
Of course I'm biased for the trans girls but I'm going to pass along some reservations and some paranoia's I have.
The reservations come from my past and stories which have been passed along by some friends.
When one goes out with a group of mixed trans girls, you could be grouped with anyone from cross dressers, transgender and the occasional transsexual. The problem? Occasionally you will have a joiner who doesn't chose to conform to a feminine lifestyle. Meaning he's the one who has the dress on and is still smoking a Cuban cigar in the corner. A bit of an exaggeration I know- but you get the point. If this begins to happen, then the group becomes more of a problem for the owner.
The reason I bring it up is that I saw it in my past and have a close friend who posted a similar story to me a year or so ago. She was reluctant to join a group in her town who met every Friday night.  Not only did some of the participants chose not to act feminine, they seemed to go out of their way not too.
Another huge problem I see could be the rest room.  Unless the establishment is one of the rare ones which has gender neutral rooms- it's a lose lose situation. Hetero-normal folks don't match well some of the time with trans folks in the rest room. Yes I have seen the occasional cross dresser at the urinal or standing up to pee in the woman's room.
These reservations lead me to my paranoia over the years of sharing my cherished non gay venues with other trans women.  Truthfully, I rarely encounter anyone who does but there is certainly a fear factor built in.
As we all know, looks are one thing but actions and the accountability for them are another.
I wonder if that is what happened to the trans women who were asked not to return?
If it wasn't, and someone who visits Cyrsti's Condo knows the indepth story-I will find out ( I'm sure!)  and comment from there!

Trans Politics

For all Americans, once again it's time for a presidential election.
Along the way, I have decided to stay sort of non political here in Cyrsti's Condo which is tough since I am a very political person.
With great interest, I have watched how this election is laying out.
I'm pretty jaded and don't think either political party is really interested in helping the average citizen much. If government just stayed out of the way, we would be a stronger country.

BUT
I can't help but think this year's Republican ticket has the real potential to set back our transgender rights for years. Specifically I just know (that somewhere down the line) a huge check was written in Chick Fil-A's name when the Republican VP candidate was announced.
So I know my vote isn't going to the chicken chain and their party.

Typically, there are many sub plots involved with any election. Here is an important one from a transgender vet publication Outserve.


The Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law estimates that 25,000 transgender people could lose the right to vote due to voter ID laws. Many conservative states make obtaining a driver’s license with a trans person’s correct gender nearly impossible, or prohibitively expensive. As a result, up to 41 percent of trans people lack a correct driver’s license. While the map in the link above shows that this disenfranchisement is unlikely to affect the general election, or even statewide elections, it denies people the democratic voice we have fought for over the course of 226 years. Republicans don’t seem interested in trans people voting. When margins in elections get too narrow, though, democrats seem to prefer for military absentee ballots not be counted either. In closely contested Presidential races, the pattern has been for the democratic candidate to contest military absentee ballots (Bush v Gore), and for the republican to contest provisional ballots (Bush v Kerry). Voters with name discrepancies, like the transgender community, are typically forced to use provisional ballots. The math on why these two patterns happen is pretty simple; military people generally vote conservatively, and LGBT typically people vote for the more liberal candidate. There is an upside, I suppose. If the ban on trans people in the military ever ends, at least it will finally give both parties something they can agree on. They will finally have a demographic neither group wants voting.

In my case Brynn Tannehill who writes for Outserve and I both live in Ohio and she also goes into what she is facing voting on a local level.
Very soon I will be going down that same path!

The Cross Dresser as an Artist

One of the labels which seems to be lost in today's fast paced cyber world is female impersonator.
Over the weekend, a friend of mine sent me a couple of simply horrid cross dressing video's which have caused me nightmares.
Most of you know I love to connect the dots.
In this case, the difference in the closeted cross dressers who excel at the art form and those who don't are the dots.
First of all I know all of us are not created equal. All of us who played football in our past I'm sure now admire those guys with slim builds. (Yes I did play on the defensive line)
That's just the beginning. As one of the young transgender college students recently wrote "who teaches a 14 year old boy how to use makeup"? Take it a step farther "who teaches a 35 year old cross dresser"?
On YouTube...sometimes no one.
But other times you can see the sheer artistry some put into their obsession. You can read in their profiles they are closeted and are part time girls. They have decided "the street" wasn't for them. I have an example from a cross dresser I knew years ago. I recently found a Christmas card photo he sent me which was stunning. No possible way anyone would think the woman in the picture was nothing but a beautiful red head in heels, garters and heels. Of course I knew in person the woman in the picture probably couldn't present well in public- all 6'2 of her-without heels. There were other factors too.
(Today height is not the problem it was. Seemingly women have grown since then and tall girls in heels today are common. Ask Stana)
Regardless of any of that, she was the consummate female impersonator in those pictures. You can log into Flickr or other sites and find quite a few. I'm sure we all know their looks aren't just by accident. All of them work long and hard to perfect it-physical limitations or not.
What I can't wrap my pea brain around are those who don't. I desperately want to feel sorry in a sense for one of my cross dressing sisters who scorched my eyeballs prancing around in a Marilyn Monroe dress, blond wig and drink.  I just couldn't. I wondered if he had enough of that drink to think all was good?
I really don't begrudge him the right to do it. Insightful pictures and videos can be part of a great self education feminine program. I just don't understand  the need to go public with it?
I'm guessing he is a 60 something cross dresser and interestingly would transform into a rather realistic woman of his age.
Keep in mind, I also know there are many individuals who are only into fetish roles such as sissies or petty coats also.
By this time there are too many dots and too little time to connect them in our culture.
The good news is my eye balls are starting to recover and I have a sharp pencil.

"Horror-Scope"

Another week has flown bye boys and girls and it's time for another scintillating "Horror-Scope"!

Libra (September 23- October 22) Inappropriate affections may start to grow between you and someone off limits. While you might understand the need to cool your lust, that other will likely not have gotten the memo, and an uncomfortable situation is going to begin. Plus, to add to this chaos, it seems that if you do make a fuss, no one will back you up the way you deserve. Yes, a quagmire indeed.

Easy girl!!!Easy!!! Of course the term "Horror-Scope" is mine...you can find yours here

Mryna-An Original Dramedy Series

I wanted to pass this along to all of you:

"Mryna" is a groundbreaking, original dramedy television series!
 Synopsis: After a successful career in front of the camera and on the stage, an actor is willing to sacrifice everything when she finally confronts her true gender identity and transitions from male-to-female. We follow Myrna as she struggles to find work as an actress, wrestles with a manager who still wants to send her out as her former-famous self, Michael and deals with the drama of her friends' reactions as they make an effort to come to terms with Myrna and her life-altering transition.

Marlo Bernier brings 50 plus years of living to the table, as well as over two decades of solid work on both stage and screen. On stage (Mark) Bernier repeatedly delivered award-winning performances in roles such as, Roy Cohn in Angels in America; Parts I and II, the twins John/James in Love! Valour! Compassion!, and Berg in God's Country."

 If you have heard of Kick Starter ,there is a fund raising campaign going on for this project. To check it out, go here.

I also am posting the video promo in Cyrsti's Condo "Home Entertainment Center"

BB Gandanghari

From the Philippines:
BB Gandanghari (shown right)  the transgender transsexual star has landed a highly unique role.

She will be an fantasy drama series called the Enchanted Garden. 
In an ironic twist, she will be playing herself as a man in part of the production to air on TV5.

Been There-Doing It

Alex Meadows from Lexington, Kentucky has a so familiar sad story: growing up transgender in the system.
Of course the shark aspect of human nature brought out the bullying and meaness in her school situation.
The good news is she made it through the rough waters of middle and high school- the bad news is  in her second year at Northern Kentucky University she is too much woman for the guys but still has to stay in the men's dorm and not enough woman for the girls and can't stay in their's.
The 19 year old is stepping up and out to help with a Project Speak Out anti bullying campaign in the Lexington area in the hopes she can help others with her story. Here's the link from kentucky.com

Not surprisingly the same life story was/is being lived by Riah Roe in Fargo, North Dakota.
Riah says she is getting used to the funny looks and the occasional raised eyebrow while others stare or whisper.
We all know the spotlight is on after the dark closet.
Riah was known as Zack when she started down the path of therapy and diagnosed with gender identity disorder which explained the years of self questioning we all go through.
There is a great indepth article concerning Riah on the
In Forum Fargo/Moorhead site!

Back to School

It's tough enough to send your child off to the first day of school.
Can you imagine the emotions you would feel if your child was transgender?
What a statement the parents and the transgender kids make when they do it.
I don't understand though how anyone could doubt how deep gender dysphoria (or what ever you want to label it) runs inside us.
Taking the courage a step further, when these parents and trans kids make such a courageous statement- it's such a tremendous move for all of us.
To compare it to the gay or lesbian community, you have people such as Anderson Cooper or the female Olympic athletes who are getting married...publically.
The most common move in the transgender or transsexual community is switching closets and going stealth.

Trans Dating

The Canadian National News recently published 7 tips on transgender on line dating.
The tips are pretty simple stuff (no they aren't). In the so called hetero normal dating world. it's not a cake walk either and we trans folk are just a wee bit different.
One of the harder facts to accept for a few of us more mature women and men is the fact on line dating is as popular and productive as it is.  I can't quote the number but an amazing amount of people these days are successful on line.
The first suggestion I rejected immediately: "Why not try a transgender dating site?"

Candis Cayne probably  NOT the best example of transgender dating used  by  article.

Most that I have seen don't appear to be very reputable if you are really trying to break the transgender/cross dresser stereotype of sex first-relationship later.
Then the problems start. The article mentions honesty. If you go to most of the mainstream dating sites it's nearly impossible to find one who even has a transgender option...yet.
Then what do you do? What I did in a couple places I visited was I never took the male option (said I was female) but I mentioned in the first sentence of my profile my transgender status. Others I took the male route with my picture and let the chips fall where they may. I sort of made value judgements depending on the site.
Through out the process you have to factor in your sexual preference. Are you a trans lesbian for example?
I was surprised how seemingly unconcerned the article was about honesty. It's just me but I would hate to live any of my life with another person without disclosing my gender past.
Regardless, it's worth a visit here to read more ideas on a very complex subject.
Finally, make sure you check out the cost factor. Nothing is free! Once you sign up-that is what you get for free. Anything else is extra. Also watch for the hidden "automatic" renewal option.
Good luck  be patient and careful and you can win. A date in my book is not a guy showing up at my house who isn't willing to be seen in public with me.
You have to be wary (as any genetic women knows) of where you are and who you are with to the best of your ability.
The chance to learn about a potential date without exposing yourself to harm is never fool proof but you can use chat systems like Yahoo without even giving out your cell number.
There are quality people out there but you must be prepared to sort out a lot of trash to find them.