Utopia?

I read posts here and there on the idea of a genderless society. A place where a person is totally free to express their mental gender at will.

In fact Michellelianna recently did her own take on the subject  and you can read it here.
The easy answer of course is clothes don't make the transgender or transsexual woman or man. We all know it's much deeper than that. 
Indirectly my "BFF" took the subject another step when I confided in her my dissatisfaction with my recent male exploits. Basically she asked when was I going to start dressing more completely female as I approach 6 months into HRT.
Good question.  In my current lifestyle, I'm just me without the pronouns. Very little body hair, painted nails and all. I basically run errands in a few of the same places all the time. Since going into semi retirement, I created my own little gender cocoon rather than an utopia. With my thin shaped brows, pony tail and clear nail polish I'm far from being androgynous- yet. Just being me is great for me but the world awaits. You know how the real world wrecks utopia! Dammit!
However I still have a utopian plan for the near future. I call it "hormones phase II".
As I have written a number of times, coming up soon is the big next visit to my "prescribing" doc.  I started on a minimum dose of a form of estrogen and had it doubled a couple months later.  Now I want it doubled again.
So by this fall, I can see me developing a nice little makeup routine in the morning of eye makeup and lip gloss-everyday. Then we will see how my utopia is working for the general public.
Quite truthfully, I don't see how an androgyny phase will work in at all with my utopia if I have a choice. Obviously, I would prefer to be seen as feminine as possible. Some would say I have done some of this a little backward with the amount of time I've spent in a feminine lifestyle without hormones and such. The transformation as you know isn't always the easiest and I will gladly accept any help I can get!
We will see. As with any utopian idea, problems will exist. Those of you who have gone through this process know the ups and downs unique to each one of us.
I can only say I'm surely not expecting any Shangri-la but a plan is very reassuring even if it's not utopian.

I Couldn't Help Myself!

Another look at Maria Roman...it's Monika's fault.
Not to be selfish...go here for more!

The Breakfast of Non Champions

 From Legislative Queery:

Growing up there were two breakfast cereals available at our house: Kellogg's Corn Flakes and Cheerios. The two options were so ubiquitous on the breakfast tables of my youth that to this day I can't stand to eat either. But I may have to find a way to stomach Cheerios again after the taurus-shaped staple's parent couple, General Mills, came out against a proposed ban on marriage equality in its home state of Minnesota this week.

In contrast, the other purveyor of the processed grains of my youthful mornings, Kellogg's, has pulled its advertizing from the Teen Nick series "Degrassi" over story lines involving transgender youth. "Degrassi" is a long running Canadian television series that since 1979 has taken on a number of difficult teen issues including abortion, drug use, racism, gay teens and eating disorders. But apparently the existence of transgender teenagers is a step too far for Kellogg's.

The ad pulling comes after pressure from the hate group The American Family Association, which characterizes the portrayal of trans teens as promoting "bizarre sexual role-playing with transvestism, [and] homosexuality."

I went right out and outed my Kellogg's to the trash.

Trans Wreck Part Deux

Thanks for all the response!
Some of you have emailed me having not unraveled the Google process to comment here. I think you have to have a Google account of some sorts?
Janie, who I will post her comment in a bit-I had to establish a "Wordpress" account to comment on your blog. These are times I wish I was more computer literate.
No I didn't derail, back to the Wreck and Janie's comment:

"I do believe there are girls out there who transition for the wrong reasons. It is an awfully big decision to make in one's life and unfortunately the gatekeepers do not really properly restrict the availability of hormones and SRS to those for whom it is needed. I expect that profits and politics are the chief reasons for this. There is a line than needs to be walked between not being unduly restrictive with transsexuals who need these things and preventing those who don't from making a big mistake. If what you say about this woman is correct, someone in the system should have told her, "No." It is so hard for us to understand ourselves sometimes and we need others to do their job."

First and foremost I agree.  One word can describe one trans girl's dilemma: "Thailand".
Back in the day a transgender woman had to live a year as a female before a reputable clinic in this country would do the SRS surgery. Now the standards are cash and slash.
Right or wrong, I don't make any value judgement on any of this. I have a hard enough time with my own life.
BUT! I do wonder sometimes when I see a show where a person still living as a man is shown shopping for a feminine wardrobe before heading for SRS in Thailand. With the hormones he still looks as a effeminate man and after the surgeries he does look as an attractive middle aged woman. Wonderful but I still wonder if he got to live as a woman enough to make such a crucial decision.
We all have to know looks are just a gateway to a "jenderjump". The world is different. I've spent two years now writing about it!
As a group we are no different than any other culture. We make mistakes too.
What separates us is we seem to take such pleasure on feeding on our own.
Cross dresser, transgender or transsexual; a trans wreck is never pleasant but never should be a cause to attack others. 

"Trans Wreck"

I have used the term "trans wreck" to describe a couple of not so great examples of people taking the gender race a little too far.
Now before some of you bring out the sticks to bust me, here is my only disclaimer:
As I have said many times some of the most vicious, mean and vindictive people I have ran across in my life have been fully changed transsexual women. Connect the dots if you must and I have. I figure they are frustrated at making a major mistake with their life and want to take it out on others. They are my dots and I connected them.
So, onto my example.
Years ago, when I started to come out of the closet I started to attend some transgendered meetings around the area.
One person in particular was the "queen of the hop" (no pun intended) She was very attractive, stylish and accomplished. She was friendly but sort of "held court" with like minded and other attractive girls at the meeting. I marveled at how similar trans and genetic females socialized.
I maintained contact over the years very loosely with her and several others in the group. She wasn't the first to start to indicate this girl thing was more than a weekend hobby.
As two of the others began to seriously transition, sure you could see the difference but more importantly you could feel the difference in them. They exuded female somehow.
With her however she continued to be the prettiest girl in the room but I never felt the female in her.
Sadly I thought she was just the prettiest guy in the room and was engaged in a real ego battle of one upmanship. Hey! Look what I got! Hormones! How about you?
Life went on and she went under the knife for SRS and I lost track on purpose.
I felt she didn't want to be associated with just a transgendered girl fighting to find herself. I have to say that was only my feeling and of course she may have felt different. However, I do have a friend who stayed in contact for awhile and that became very consistent with her.  Certainly, if we didn't have the will or money to go the SRS route then we weren't worthy.
The last I have heard she is pretty lonely. Sad if it is true.
That's my "trans wreck" story and I believe it's true others go the same route and become mean and vindictive?
Another problem I see is some of the same transsexuals I read about are the first to say gender does not have any thing to do with genitals but they are the first to hold it against you if you say you feel female no matter what's between your legs?
More on that and the whole topic later.

A Basic Gender "Right" of Passage.

From IndiaWest, a true "right" of passage for a transgender Muslim woman:

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Maya Jafer, a transgender Muslim woman from South Asia, shares her story in the documentary, “Rites of Passage.” (Photos courtesy Jeff Roy)

 

"Growing up in India, the only person who knew Mohammed Jafer’s true identity was a Buddhist monk: “I see the woman in you,” he said, “and I want to call you Maya because I see a lot of love in you.”
But the 42-year-old — now Maya, who said the name means “love” —  from Tamil Nadu always knew she was a woman, even if virtually no one else did.
“I am a woman in a man’s body …” she said, referring to how she felt before she began her transition to physically become a woman. “I was trying to fix everything else, until I realized I have the option inside me.”
That’s the story a new documentary, called “Mohammed to Maya,” tells as it follows Maya, a male-to-female transgender individual, in a physical and spiritual journey into womanhood that pushes the limits of tradition.

Born into a tight-knit, orthodox Muslim family of naturopathic healers, Maya’s decision did not go over well. “They still see me as a man, and they still address me by my original name,” she said. “I have not seen my family in over five years.”
Maya began physically transitioning into a woman during her late thirties, and lived as a woman for two years before getting sexual reassignment surgery in Thailand because she couldn’t afford one in the U.S.
Maya, who herself has two doctorates in naturopathic medicine, including one from Bastyr University in Washington state, said her decision was not a frivolous one. “I didn’t just lose my mind coming to America,” she told India-West. “I would have committed suicide or done the transition to become a complete woman. I had no other way.”
Maya’s story is as much about her physical transition into womanhood as it was about her spiritual one."

Follow the "IndiaWest" link above for the complete story. It's just a little different than the usual transsexual story centering somewhat more on a spiritual basis.

Strong Transgender Message

The incredible coming out story of Tom Gabel is set to move to another public level. Please be aware I don't think the story itself is incredible but the platform is. Anytime a highly public person "outs" her or his transgender situation in a real life positive manner- the rest of us benefit. Check this video:

Get More: Music News

Here's more from Spin On June 19, MTV News will post the first on-camera interview with Grace since she came out, including a Q&A with the full band, and SPIN is premiering a few clips online. The video snippets from this latest courageous and revealing interview show Grace looking glam-rock elegant, with dark eye makeup, shoulder-length hair, and dangling earrings, but most importantly, she exudes a sense of confidence and, especially, freedom. Grace tells MTV about how she has long seen herself in Madonna — not only as a musician but also as a woman — and how she gradually discovered she wasn't going to grow out of this feeling. "Saying to someone, 'I'm a transsexual,' is the most empowering thing I've ever felt in my whole life," she explains at one point. In a touching moment, this 31-year-old married rocker thanks wife Heather ("my biggest advocate") and expresses concern about how other children might treat their two-year-old daughter.

Whose in the Closet Now?

It's been no secret around here in Cyrsti's Condo about who is occupying which closet.
Actually, for the past year my guy self has been spending mega time in that closet.
Interestingly enough for one reason or another (mostly utility and convenience) he has been brought out-dusted off and put into service.
Guess what. I don't like it. I like why I did it but the experience reset my internal gender compass. (to the female side)
I'm going to reference CD Janie's Blog for a second. If you are not familiar, she presents a very feminine image but struggles on occasion about which side of the gender spectrum she will end up.
In fact on occasion, she attempts to live an extended male existence to test her will.
In my own small unintentioned way, I did the same thing.
Yes I know to some of you that makes me an un pure transgender person but to others of you who struggle with the same problems-you will understand.
Even I have felt I was selling out until I felt how much I wanted to put him back in the closet.
Excuse me while I go open the door for him.

Trans and Dads Maine Style

With Father's Day now in our recent past, stories continue to keep appearing of dad's and trans daughters.
From Portland, Maine comes this story about a special Father's Day from Ellsworth "Derry" Rundlett:

Nick and Derry

"I have been a father since 1965. Over 47 years (and three marriages), I have accrued a few stellar stepchildren. But my son, Ellsworth Rundlett IV -- "Nick" for short -- was the first.
As a child, Nick seldom forgot my special day in June. When he was little, he gave me handmade cards. As he grew older, Nick would often surprise me with some neat gift. I recall a beautiful Australian lighter that I cherished for its special wind screen. Then there was the running shirt that said, "Born to Run." (I run senior track, and I still wear it almost every time I compete.)
When he was 40 years old, Nick revealed that he had been struggling with gender issues. I was shocked. Unbeknownst to me, my son had lived his entire life with the sense that he was really a daughter. Now the burden of resisting this inner knowledge had become too heavy. Nick planned to transition and become Nicole. I was frightened. I feared for Nicole's future, and that of my grandchildren. What would happen to her job? Her marriage? Her social life? Most of all, what was going to happen to my best friend?

Partner , Derry and Nicole

After Nicole confided in me, she embarked on a creative process of self-actualization and physical transformation. At times it was difficult, but many people went out of their way to tell us how much they admired Nicole's bravery and honesty. Now, despite my fears, she is happy and successful. Most importantly, she is my daughter and she is still my best friend."

For the complete story go here!