Sunday, March 4, 2012

Is J.C. Penny's Transphobic?

Probably not but after you read this isolated story, you should at least wonder if they have policies similar to "Macy's".

Discrimation at Florence, SC JC Penney (Magnola Mall)
                                                                                                                        March 3, 2012
To Whom It May Concern,
Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Markielynn Rundell. I am a transgendered female. I have been patronizing your stores since I was a young child. I have always visited your stores dressed as a transgendered female. Each time I visited, I enjoyed my shopping experience. Selecting clothing that I wanted to buy, and of course trying on the outfits before buying them was always a must. Of course being a transgendered female, I have always used the woman’s dressing room. Up until today I did so with no problems at all.
Today, Saturday March 3, 2012, my wife Lori, girlfriend Lana, and I visited your Florence, SC Magnolia Mall store for some fun filled shopping. Tonight at approximately 7:00 pm, I picked out 2 dresses that I had planned to purchase from your store. Of course I had to try them on, so I entered the woman’s fitting room. There were 3 stalls located within the dressing room. The first stall was occupied; the second stall was full of clothing, so I used the third stall. I tried on the first dress. When I exited the dressing stall to go show Lori and Lana what the dress looked like on me, one of your employees, a female African-American, who was standing in the second stall, said to me “Sir, you cannot use this dressing room”. I immediately told her politely that I was a woman. When I left the dressing room, I asked Lori to please tell her that I am a woman. Lori told her that I was her girlfriend. I went back into the dressing room and decided not to try on the second dress because I realized it would be too small. When I was redressing, I heard my wife Lori ask me if I was almost done because we are leaving and we are not buying anything from this store. Unbeknown to me, your employee went and got her supervisor, also an African-American woman. We decided to leave your store immediately to avoid any farther confrontation. I did not get the names of either employee. I just want you to know that I was not only embarrassed, I was also hurt by the rude way I was treated by one of your employees. I thought your store was supposed to be LGBT friendly. You portray that image now that you have Ellen DeGeneres as your official spokesperson. I have never felt so discriminated against in my entire life. If this is how your employees are going to treat a member of the LGBT community, I will be sure to tell my entire LGBT friends not to shop at your stores because they will be discriminated against.
On a personal note: I cannot use the men’s fitting room because I have been undergoing transformation to become a fully functioning female. Because I have been on Hormone Replacement Therapy, I have developed breasts. Because I have breasts and am a transgendered female, I would not feel safe or comfortable knowing that I could be seen by a man using the men’s dressing room. Please tell me what dressing room I am supposed to use if your policy to discriminate against transgendered females who are minding their own business and simply using the woman’s fitting room to try on clothing? This also goes for the bathroom in the event a transgendered individual has to relieve themselves.
Sincerely,
Markielynn Rundell

To be VERY clear, I am NOT taking the entire JC Penny's company to task over this incident. I AM taking them to task for not having a company policy; if indeed they don't.
If indeed Penny's doesn't have a policy (one way or another) then shame on them!
If indeed they want to exclude transgendered women and men from using their dressing rooms then say so and we can shop elsewhere. On the other hand it is no secret many other women's clothing chains have learned to welcome the patronage (money) of the transgendered public.
Two more points. I picked up this story from the "TG Forum" and I really admire the courage of Markielynn for taking it public!

"Trannsnation.com" Update.

I managed to find the time and ambition to begin again the process of transferring and categorizing the 800 plus posts here on "Cyrsti's Condo".  I'm pleased to report I was able to post three or four new categories over on my sister website "Trannsnation.com". Here's an "easy" link to one of the posts.
I was also happy to discover the site finally came up on it's own on a "Yahoo" and "Google" search!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

New Post From Sherri Lynn!

I can not say how much I anticipate a new post from this woman!
To start with, she is a transgendered woman and a psychotherapist in Virginia too. I don't believe there are many transgender or transsexual women or men who have not sought or went through counseling. Imagine the benefit of having someone with Sherri Lynn's experience.
We have the second best thing, access to her posts.  Here is part of her latest:

"I'm beginning to get a sense of the new normal. What has been changed is irrevocable. Something has been lost and much has been gained. It's still all such a shock how this came about that I feel stressed, tired and have really not quite integrated the whole experience of my parent's accidental discovery, though I could not have expected a better outcome.

Partly this has to do also with ongoing work stresses that are mounting as the drive for Obama Care pushes the system of medical economics towards its intended collapse so that the new order of health care can be established. (Please note this is not a political rant, just the experience of a front line health care provider. No political responses please). We are being told to see more patients because reimbursement from the government is being cut and that translates into the need to see more patients to keep operating.

 It slows my bouncing back from the highly emotionally charged experience of coming out to my parents in an unintended manner as the numbers of patients I am expected to see increases dramatically. This week I saw 46 patients in a 40 hour week. I owe this miracle of services rendered to my wonderful relapse prevention group that I look forward to running each week. There is no time for a break in a schedule such as this.
,
Self care is the most important way to get back into balance. When one is under stress, good sleep hygiene is important, even crucial. If you can't get your sleep right, nothing else will follow. There are a lot of things one can do besides taking medications; one can listen to soothing music, practice meditation and progressive relaxation techniques. It is helpful to turn off the TV, not read, stay away from video games or anything that is stimulating for at least a half hour before bedtime."


For more, go here!
We d 

We've Got Mail!


I just had to pass along this message which was sent to my email by "D".
It's a reply to the post "When Do You Stop Being Transgendered?".

" As a man, you have seen War, that most men will not see and other experiences males will never go through.
 Now you have been out as a woman and enjoyed your new feelings.  You like
 your new look, you like what you see in the world, the feel of the wind in
your new hair and the days to came.
 The future-you is what you experienced, learned in the past mixed with the present to make you one.
You're smart and gifted with the art of writing and I think your are teaching too. You have thought me to open my mind.. So that's four good  things, intelligence, writer,teacher and good with kids, after all you raised one.
 I don't know how much of a people person you are?
Obviously you have watched men and their wives. The wives doing female
things and then joining in with the men in things such as talking about cars, bikes and
so on.
 If you are good at these, you would be on on your way to being Third
Gender. ( If you followed any of my "Two Spirit and Third Gender" ideas last week)
 Enjoy your female side. Don't feel guilty of identifying as a male
or a female. You are neither,you are both. You are You, You are One!"
 First "D" thanks for your comments, I'm deeply flattered and yes I have always been a "people person".
My only final comment is as far as "guy" stuff goes, I know more about things such as cars and things because I had to. Sports I know more about because it's a passion with both of me. So yes, I can converse about these matters with perhaps a little more depth.
The truly wonderful part of it all is having any opportunity to experience it all without society's prejudices.
 I think most of transgendered woman or men experience a certain mistrust of our place in life and society.
Some think we trying to pull off some sort of devious deception for "dark/evil" reasons. If by chance I talk to a man about classic cars or a woman about shopping for jeans, I'm not evading their gender. It's not "the jokes on you". I just have a little knowledge of where you have been. Just please don't mistrust or mistreat me for it!

Thanks again "D".

Transgendered Vet News

As most of you know, I am a transgendered vet with a transgendered history with the VA.
To make a long story short, my hormone recommendation letter was written by a VA pyschologist. I also have my "meds" filled through the VA but not prescribed yet. What that means is there is no one in my area who feels well enough trained in the transgendered/transsexual treatment field to do it. I'm still awaiting news if the VA will cover my private doctor bills. If they don't I can appeal.
The "Transgender Equality Site" just issued this statement concerning transgendered care and the VA.
Here is an excerpt:
"Building on the June 2011 Directive on the treatment of transgender veterans, the Veterans Health Administration (VHA) has announced a clarification to its records policy that will make significant difference in the lives of trans veterans. Since the Directive has gone into effect, we have received positive reports from trans veterans about receiving more respectful health care. However, one area that the Directive left somewhat unclear was the documentation that was required for veterans to change the gender marker on their health records.
The Directive was very clear that medical records will now reflect an individual’s self-identified gender.  However, the policy also indicated that the individual must provide official documentation as per Veterans Health Administration policies in order to change the gender marker. This was initially interpreted incorrectly by some staff and facilities to require proof of sex reassignment surgery."

The most important and positive part of the post comes at the end:

"This clarification is another important step forward for trans
veterans. At NCTE we’ve been very pleased to provide education and
advocacy to the VA, which continues to be very interested in ensuring
that transgender vets are treated equally. We’re confident that the VA
will continue to move forward and are excited about some great
upcoming programs the VA is planning to provide cultural competency
training to clinical and administrative staff across the country.

In the coming weeks, NCTE will release a user-friendly guide to
changing your VA health records. Until then, we urge trans vets to
read our resources about the June 2011 VHA Directive and the passport
policy and speak with a patient advocate or Social Worker at your VA
facility if you have questions.

VHA Directive: http://transequality.org/PDFs/VHA_Trans_Health.pdf

Passport gender change policy:
http://transequality.org/Resources/passports_2012.pdf

If you have difficulties changing you records at your local VA or have
trouble accessing respectful healthcare, please contact NCTE
immediately at NCTE@transequality.org or 202-903-0112.

Really good information!!!!!


When Do You Stop Being Transgendered?

Silly question? Maybe never.
This all came up as I was swapping emails with an old friend who has a similar life experience as I. She is also considering hormones at the same age. She had just recently watched a couple short documentaries about a couple of transgendered women with her wife. Ironically, she found herself identifying with neither. Unfortunately, one of the individuals in the documentaries came off as rather clownish and even hurt the home discussion. Her wife is to the point that she told her if this is what you want, do it. The problem became, just who is "you"?
 My friend and I then ended up discussing just finding a niche for yourself in the transgendered culture.
Of course later I began to rethink the process and came up with this idea- At what point do you cross the threshold from identifying as a transgendered person and identify as just being you?
At times I feel guilty in some sort of way about not identifying internally as a male or a female. I think "Isn't there a problem here?"
I hate the phrase "It is what it is" but in this case "it" is.
In the past here I have detailed many of the formative experiences in my life in either gender.
The experience helped to understand both genders. I know what it is to compete in an alpha male world and how it shapes a man. That's why I don't hate them.
I'm learning to know what I so wanted over the span of my life about a female existence. Slowly but surely, I'm discovering the true essence of a life I only dreamed about.
Where does all this leave me? Right smack in the middle.
I have been so fortunate to carve out a small niche is society as a woman. My fondest desire is to continue the process just as far as a can.
On the other hand. "It is what it is" I can't erase so many years of male life either. 
At some point I would have a label at all anymore. I will just be me!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Who is the "Ass" Now?


Celebrated showman "P.T. Barnum" is erroneously credited with saying  "There's a sucker born every minute".
Unfortunately it seems the "Black Madam" is finding her share of them until she gets exposed again and taken off the street. 
The whole process begs the question "Who is the ass  now? Dumb or other?"
Once again the 'Black Madam' who was suspected of killing a British student with a botched bottom implant has been arrested in connection with another illegal enhancement procedure.
The 42-year-old, also known as Padge-Victoria Windslowe, was about to host a 'pumping party' at a home in Philadelphia when she was apprehended last night, police said.
 Windslowe went on the run last year went on the run after one of her patients allegedly died from a botched butt implant. Approximately two weeks ago, yet another of her "patients" nearly died and police obtained a warrant.
Hopefully this woman is exposed and recognized by an obviously desperate segment of the transgendered community and spends some time behind bars.
I'm ashamed to point this out, Windslowe is transgendered herself.

A Must Read for Transgendered Youth and Parents

"Jessie" has been in the news before.

"Julie Ross and daughter Jessie"

This story from "The Boston Phoenix" brings the life of the now 10 year old transgendered daughter from Brookline, Massachusetts.
Here's is an intro to an interview in the article which includes a blog link:

"Julie Ross didn't always plan to blog about her experience as the mother of a 10-year-old transgender child named Jessie (who, until her 10th birthday in 2011, was known as George).
The blog, georgejessielove.wordpress.com, grew out of an e‑mail list that Ross, who lives in Brookline, launched to keep friends and family updated on the big changes going on in her household (which includes her husband, Rich, and a teenage son named Harrison). She waffled about "going public," but when Hotmail shut her down as a suspected spammer, her decision was practically made for her. "I had so many things left to say," she recalls.
Ross's posts are brutally honest, funny, and occasionally tear-jerking. A single entry veers from amusing — Ross insists one morning that Jessie wear a shirt long enough that her penis wouldn't be obvious in leggings — to moving, when Jessie reminds her mom, at the end of that day, "It's not what the body parts are, it is the soul inside. I am a girl."

The last sentence tells it all!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Another Day In a Trans Life

As human beings, we have a finite time on the planet and perhaps infinity; depending upon which religion you happen to believe in.
I found out first hand when I had a loved one disappear over night-passing to the other side.
All of these are wonderful reasons to believe in living each day as it could be your last. It could be.
As a mere human being, I know I should try harder to appreciate the sun coming up. To try to appreciate the fact my breasts are becoming more than "buds" and the task of tying my hair back into a pony tail.
Don't get me wrong, I do live in wonderment all of this is finally happening to me.
The problem is slowing down and enjoying the journey. To just stop time for a second when I'm out in society as my chosen gender.
I've written already how I'm tracking a few of my formative years as posted here on the "Condo" and collating them on "Trannsnation.com".
One of many conclusions I'm drawing is how I felt so incredibly "liberated" on some evenings and so "humiliated" or insecure on others.
Of course I've tried to connect the dots with an erotic experience with the clothes, hair and the whole look but that doesn't work either. This was a deeper feeling of belonging. At that point, I knew my life was going to be very different.
Maybe those experiences have taught me to try to feel life as it comes-not just live it. Just being accepted visually as a woman in public is fine but feeling it is better. I want to stop time when I'm slowly walking down a sidewalk in my jeans, flip flops and loose top. The feel of my hair on  bare shoulders and back along with the soft  warmth of the day was just amazing!
In some ways I feel that is a more feminine reaction anyway.
Being the amateur evolutionist that I am, I believe (very simply) men evolved to attack and hunt and women to gather, raise the young and have a more intuitive sensual knowledge of the world.
Now I sit back and do a lot of observing. Men sometime amuse me and sometimes impress me. I was born into and played the "Alpha" male game outwardly for most of my life. I know where a man is and where he is trying to go and if he gets it right-good for him!
As for women? They have always been my passion. Their interaction with the world has always been a fascination since I wanted a doll baby for Christmas.
The toughest part is not to try to create experiences. Life is more than capable of accomplishing that!
So, on a day like today I can only write about and speculate on how the best way is to make the most of my life on this planet.
In the meantime, the day has turned out to be a very pleasant pre-spring day and is time for a nap!

Breaking the Gender Chains

  Image from Arlem Lambunsky on UnSplash. For years and years I blamed myself for my transgender issues.  I did not have access to the prope...