Slip Slding Away.

Enjoyed a super evening last night  A friend and I got together for some adult beverages and some electronic trivia. She and I are both relatively competitive and immediately developed a grudge against the best trivia player in the pub. We  did manage to beat him once or twice!
As the night progressed, the other patrons kind of faded into the background. I was not worried about being "spotted" I was just me.
On occasion I did look around (as any one would) and again there was nobody looking back I felt entirely comfortable and secure in my skin.
As I always do, I had to spend some serious "think" time on the whys and hows of the evening.
One fact stands out, attitude ranks somewhere up there with looks if you are in my gender situation.
During the day, I was chatting back and forth with a trans woman who has gone the "SRS" route.
By the time I was getting ready to go out, I was convinced I had no chance of not getting laughed out of everywhere I went. After all, I had not gone through all the needed electrolysis and hormones to make my face smooth as silk. She was right, I hadn't! But, it didn't matter. My beard doesn't really show and I guess my pores didn't matter. I was home. I was who I was supposed to be.
As the room and all the people sort of slid away my girl thought.... life was good!

A Free Sex Change?

Yes, in Thailand of course. From the "Bangkok Post" comes this story.
Sexual reassignment surgery is not currently covered by any health
care system in Thailand. The Sister's Hand foundation is a private
organization that was set up to provide a small number of transgenders
with the necessary funding for full surgery.
A competition is held every year for the gift. Started in 2010, this is the second year of the project. There are
only five places available as each operation costs approximately
100,000 baht. Almost 100 people applied.
Photos by Somchai Poomlard.

A couple of these pictures prove that not EVERY trans woman in Thailand is beautiful.

Except maybe the final photo above. Identified only as a "cabaret performer".
Do you think any national organization here will step forward to set up such a fund? Naah!

Transgender Fiction

I've seen this art form a lot.
"Jenny North" has a site called "TG Graphics and Fiction Archive".
I have never been really into much of the real fiction, I choose to believe much of the other information I see and read. (which could be fiction too!)
The whole venue is such an interesting part of our culture that I had to pass it along.
If you haven't been to the site yet, there is a ton of material.

Here's a small example:
If you go to the "Femulate" site much, "Stana" uses many similar cartoons!
Enjoy!

Just When You Thought You Have Seen It All...

Check out Haruna Ai, the Japanese transgender woman who won the "Miss Transgender Cosmos Pageant  last fall.

You can call me Cyrsti or you can call me Kristi.

But don't call me a transvestite or a crossdresser or a transgendered or a transsexual.
Blah, blah,blah!
Perhaps you have read some or all of the endless rhetoric about our group and labels...but here is more.
From "down under" even!
The time has come again to talk about terminology.

The biggie is the ongoing furore caused by those who want to make
distinctions between various sub-classes of the transgendered
community, partly, I fear, because they want to assert a pecking order
in a range which includes cross-dressers, pre-ops, post-ops,
androgynes and drag adopted for various reasons — some commercial,
some for personal and temporary amusement without an ongoing
commitment to gender change, temporary or permanent.

For many years I thought of myself as a transvestite and acted
accordingly but the time came when I admitted to myself, and the
world, that I was transgendered. For years I imagined the correct term
was transsexual, because I accepted the term in general use, rather
than thinking through the assumptions created by the inevitable
parallel with the words homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual and
asexual.

In other words, that ‘transsexual’ had something to do with sexuality
and the selection of sexual partners. Like many who want the name to
reflect the truth, I now prefer ‘transgender’.

But hey, sexuality, like politics and religion, is a movable feast.
There are those who change their sexuality, with or without also
changing their gender role.
From the Sydney, Australia . "StarOnline".

The Shrinking Transgendered Girl?

I read an article by a big girl explaining the "big girl" role.
Here is a small part.
Must be overly cheery, smiley, and always happy. Not a complainer. Must take everything in stride. Must not shine. Can be pretty, but no prettier than the main character. Role of big girl is an attitude, not a number on the scale. Must be willing to dim your light so others can shine. (from "BlogHer")
I thought, that's me! In reverse.
The majority of the time I'm the "shrinking transgendered girl". The rules are to never really make eye contact. Don't speak until spoken too and give the minimum social effort.
The ultimate in trying to blend or the the ultimate in trying to disappear in a crowd?
What am I missing here? A lot!
To many, I come off as a bitch. They wonder why I don't speak. I totally miss out on some possible great interaction.
That's crazy. So what if I'm read as transgender? I am what I am. It's my ego (male?) slipping through with my inane "rating" system. At the end of the evening, I judge the success of the night on how many people "read" me or not.
Just as the "big" girl needed to change her focus, I need to change mine. I should judge my evening on when and if I met anyone or entered their lives at all.
Missing life due to shrinkage is no fun!!!!

Pioneer Women?

I do possess a degree in history and follow the past with some sort of passion and interest.
Of course transgendered history is very high on my list! I do believe through the past we can sometimes predict the future, or at least use the years as a yardstick. How far have we advanced? If at all?
Of course we all remember "Christine Jorgensen" who broke the gender barrier early in the 1950's.
The first British Transssexual possibly was "Roberta Cowell".
Roberta actually went through her operation nearly a year a half before Jorgensen.
There obviously won't be national holidays to remember pioneers such as these two ladies. Think of how difficult it was for them to go through basically an experimental procedure.
Think of how society as a whole viewed any gay person, let alone a trangendered one?
In society we are still largely made to ride in the back of the bus.
However, thanks to courageous  women like these, we have been able to move up a couple of rows.
Sooner more than later, we too will be able to sit where we want on the bus!

My Time of the Month?

Maybe it's the winter "blahs". It seems my part of the world has been locked in the grips of a gray snowy winter longer than usual. Maybe it's the decision of where and how my life may go is affecting me? No matter how I cut it I'm on this cliff looking down at major decisions. Do I continue down the same dual gendered path or do I explore the wild wonderful world of hormones?
Complicating the matter even further is the sexual aspect of all of this. Which, by choice I don't discuss here.
Right or wrong, I have lived my life on it's own playing field. It has called the plays and I have responded. Do any of us have the right or opportunity to really challenge destiny?
Deep down inside the girl in me feels so at home. Life obviously has shown be the path but not how to walk it or the courage to do it.
Then again, is all of this just a reaction to coming off of a tremendous high at the first of the year?
New look, new friends and challenges have leveled off as they always do. I cherish my friends and they are so difficult to find that I find a tremendous satisfaction when I find one.
Maybe it's time for my own personal trip to my beauty salon.  Why not work with a new hair style? Cis-women have done it forever. I just have been hesitant to go that route too much.
One of the benefits in my part of the world is the changing of the seasons. The rebirth of life in the spring is just around the corner.
It's time to shop for more than new spring fashion!

High Maintenance?

This quote came to me from one of the many places I subscribe to. I don't remember which one and it doesn't really matter. We have heard it before.
She wrote: "A look that has comes to us via porn, ladyboys, transsexuals, queer
culture and high fashion is a look I now see on the bus. This excess
of femininity may compensate for endless anxiety about appearances.
There is nothing natural going on here, and some women are not hiding
that fact. To become a woman is to become a female impersonator. How,
in such a world, can we say to any young girl: "You are fine just as
you are"?
All so true. Every young girl should feel she is fine as she is. BUT it's unfair to blame the female beauty ideal on us!
Men are visual creatures and women provide the vision. Isn't that how it works?
Since the first cave woman put berry juice on her lips to attract a caveman, what was that?
There are many women with fine natural beauty. There are as many if not more without it. Does that mean the rest of us can't take advantage of all the resources to look better?
As role models go in today's society shouldn't women mentor the young girls? Feed their self esteem? Makeup, fashion and clothes do not make the woman. That is all inside.
All of this reminds me of the early rhetoric of the feminist movement. Burn your bra...unless you look terrible without it.
How is it so terrible to take pride in our outside appearance?
Human nature has made us the high maintenance gender. Work with it!