This will be one of those crazy weeks that’ll stick in your memory for
ages, as it’ll be quite an eye opening experience — but in a totally fab
way, so don’t freak. However, you’ll have to be willing to slide down a
rabbit hole and open your mind to this new point of view, because once
you do, you’ll never be the same — but in a totally lovely way.. From "theFrisky"
Wow! I thought that was a couple weeks ago!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Transgender Privilege?
I commented on a post on Matt Kailey's blog and thought I would pass it along here.
"Is trans male “privilege” include an easier acceptance in the male community? I’ve always wondered?
Growing up male and working most of my life in female dominated jobs, I always felt women have a more complex “acceptance” system than men.
I do agree, the physical effects of “T” hormones enable the outward gender transition from female to male easier initially. (Hate using that word, nothing is easy I know). Sure the more completely you assume the “vision” of your chosen gender, the true inner transition is just beginning. I know one person who went down the full journey to change her sex only to become the best looking man in the room.
Let me mention I feel privilege does not have to be totally negative and will always be part of the human gender spectrum.
I am an middle aged transgendered woman who is beginning hormone therapy soon.
Over the years, I have been fortunate to gain an understanding of how to interact in the world more completely in my chosen gender… with females.
For the most part I have wonderful experiences with a whole new group of friends and I consider this “female privilege”. Again, is there a similar assimilation trans guys feel? Could it be described as “male privilege”?
I quickly learned much of what I had heard from genetic women on a stereotypical level was true. I did lose a few IQ points here and there and I certainly lost my rights to much of the “space” I occupied. Men have no respect for my space and reach over me and around me with no problem and I now have to always move for them.
On a larger scale, I did lose a huge part of the respect I had gained as a middle aged fairly successful white male in my American society, I lost the automatic sir I gained with age and replaced it with a feminine one.
Of course the path was exactly what I chose and all so natural I found. Female privilege to me became being treated in a softer and sometimes more open way.
Again I’m curious of how the overall transition in “privilege” works from the female to male side although I know no story is alike!
As far as the “LGBT” community, I believe our privilege is a farce. We are only included when need for more “clout”. I do have interactions with a few lesbians but most view me as a “wolf in sheep’s clothing” Gay guys are as clueless as straight guys and view me as another queen most of the time. So again, will someone, anyone show me a privilege?"
"Is trans male “privilege” include an easier acceptance in the male community? I’ve always wondered?
Growing up male and working most of my life in female dominated jobs, I always felt women have a more complex “acceptance” system than men.
I do agree, the physical effects of “T” hormones enable the outward gender transition from female to male easier initially. (Hate using that word, nothing is easy I know). Sure the more completely you assume the “vision” of your chosen gender, the true inner transition is just beginning. I know one person who went down the full journey to change her sex only to become the best looking man in the room.
Let me mention I feel privilege does not have to be totally negative and will always be part of the human gender spectrum.
I am an middle aged transgendered woman who is beginning hormone therapy soon.
Over the years, I have been fortunate to gain an understanding of how to interact in the world more completely in my chosen gender… with females.
For the most part I have wonderful experiences with a whole new group of friends and I consider this “female privilege”. Again, is there a similar assimilation trans guys feel? Could it be described as “male privilege”?
I quickly learned much of what I had heard from genetic women on a stereotypical level was true. I did lose a few IQ points here and there and I certainly lost my rights to much of the “space” I occupied. Men have no respect for my space and reach over me and around me with no problem and I now have to always move for them.
On a larger scale, I did lose a huge part of the respect I had gained as a middle aged fairly successful white male in my American society, I lost the automatic sir I gained with age and replaced it with a feminine one.
Of course the path was exactly what I chose and all so natural I found. Female privilege to me became being treated in a softer and sometimes more open way.
Again I’m curious of how the overall transition in “privilege” works from the female to male side although I know no story is alike!
As far as the “LGBT” community, I believe our privilege is a farce. We are only included when need for more “clout”. I do have interactions with a few lesbians but most view me as a “wolf in sheep’s clothing” Gay guys are as clueless as straight guys and view me as another queen most of the time. So again, will someone, anyone show me a privilege?"
Are You A "Lady"?
Immediately I thought do I think I am? Before I thought about what it takes to be a lady, I thought I would
take a look at the flipside. To do that I went to one of my favorite
places to visit for "girl stuff" the Frisky . I read an article called "What It Means To Be A Gentleman?". Here's an excerpt: "Are you really a gentleman who treats women with genuine
respect or are you just performing like one? Are you actually making the
women you date feel uncomfortable or disrespected, even though you
think you’re “gentlemanly duty” has been done (so to speak) because you
paid for dinner? Do you actually hold rather sexist attitudes towards
women — sexual women, complicated women, real women?"
OK, fair is fair. If you interact with men, are you really a lady who treats men with genuine respect or are you performing as one?
Perhaps the terms themselves are as outmoded and narrow as most of the gender labels we live with today.
In reality I'm sure you have encountered sexist attitudes towards you as a transgendered female or male. One that infuriates me most is the idea that some men have that I am automatically promiscuous.Really?
Regardless of all of that, I believe being described as a "lady" is fine but "old school girl" is more accurate for me. I love being soft and feminine and stylish.
Sure if a door is opened for me or a courtesy extended to me that's all appreciated but not needed. I do however, appreciate and react to it and attempt to return the favor to the man because I feel it's the right thing to do.
I hope that very appreciation gains me the "old school" tag.
After reading "the Frisky" excerpt, I came to more of a realization of why I feel many females have forgotten how to be women. Life has made them jaded and that's a shame.
Then again the whole deal is just part of "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus". Transgendered folk are from Earth. We've traveled to those other places and understand the lifestyle!
OK, fair is fair. If you interact with men, are you really a lady who treats men with genuine respect or are you performing as one?
Perhaps the terms themselves are as outmoded and narrow as most of the gender labels we live with today.
In reality I'm sure you have encountered sexist attitudes towards you as a transgendered female or male. One that infuriates me most is the idea that some men have that I am automatically promiscuous.Really?
Regardless of all of that, I believe being described as a "lady" is fine but "old school girl" is more accurate for me. I love being soft and feminine and stylish.
Sure if a door is opened for me or a courtesy extended to me that's all appreciated but not needed. I do however, appreciate and react to it and attempt to return the favor to the man because I feel it's the right thing to do.
I hope that very appreciation gains me the "old school" tag.
After reading "the Frisky" excerpt, I came to more of a realization of why I feel many females have forgotten how to be women. Life has made them jaded and that's a shame.
Then again the whole deal is just part of "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus". Transgendered folk are from Earth. We've traveled to those other places and understand the lifestyle!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Have a Holly Jolly Halloween!
Or maybe you already have. Hope you got out out the closet and showed the world your true self!
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Christian Greenia as "Elvira" |
I always found the night was a great time to try my hand at going to the bigger straight clubs. After all, whats the worst that could happen? Lose a "costume contest"?
Two evenings out of many stick out in my memory other than the couple I passed along.
If I have already passed them along, sorry it's just old age setting in!
The first story comes from a local Halloween trip to two big clubs having big parties. For some reason that year I settled on some sort of French Mistress outfit. Of course it was short and black from head to toe with dark eyes and red lips. I had a long straight blond wig that I topped off with a black beret. I was comfortable and felt sexy so the night was good!
About half way through the evening, a guy in a mask came up and whispered in my ear "I know who you really are". For once, I was a lost for words. I finally said "how do you know and who are you?" He simply said "you look like your mother!" When I found out who he really was, he could have send a lot more! He was one of my friends when I was 12ish and tried my first tentative steps at dressing as a girl around my friends. Obviously he thought I didn't grow out of it! Hopefully he thought I grew in to it!
The second night was an out of town experience. I was training in another city that year during Halloween and of course had to put together a "costume" and go out. That night I chose one straight and one gay club and really slutted it up. You know the story. Tight short skirt (leather look) and matching top with black hose and high heeled boots.
I went to the straight club first and to my amazement passed several of the partiers, especially the one who molested my behind as I walked through the crowded room. All too soon and it was time for my first trip to a gay club Halloween party.
If you have never been, the costumes are amazing! Creative and sexy, you can see it all if you happen to hit the right party! I remember the "Elvira" who spent the night checking herself in the mirror as well as the guy dressed as an "outhouse"
By the end of the evening I was sad that Halloween comes but once a year. Then again there is Mardi Gras". To this day I haven't partied it up it a fancy mask and dress!
Friday, October 28, 2011
More Halloween "Re-Runs"
I won't tell you how many years ago this occurred . Only that I had a decidedly better figure!
It was "back in the day" when a Halloween party was a rare coming out event.
I believe as a transgendered person you can only do one party with the same people before they start to gossip. If you care.
I got an invite to a classic party in an old Victorian mansion in one of the town's historic districts. At the door was an antique coffin with a very real skeleton observing the guests.
My first wife (who figured that some day I was going to take off and be a girl full time) didn't much care I was going to the party with a female co-worker-dressed like a complete tramp. Halloween is a great time for genetic and TG females to strut their stuff. (Who do they think they are kidding?)
Shaved legs, heels, micro mini dress and long blond hair pretty much described my outfit.
When we arrived, I pretty much didn't say much and I found that a lot of the guests didn't really know I wasn't as I appeared to be. I was in heaven!
Later in the evening, a couple did approach me to tell me how good I looked and didn't know the truth initially and did I want to go with them to another party?
Reluctantly I had to turn them down. My ride was with my co-worker and I thought it would be rude to do that to her.
The couple left and I asked the hosts who they were.
It turns out he was a very new politician who was running for a state representative seat. As the years went by, he went to Washington and became a very powerful congressman.
I've often wondered how deep the attraction was that night and did I destroy my chance for a job in the capital or even a "tell all" book?
Let's see: "Monica and Cyrsti" A Life Under The Desk! lol
It was "back in the day" when a Halloween party was a rare coming out event.
I believe as a transgendered person you can only do one party with the same people before they start to gossip. If you care.
I got an invite to a classic party in an old Victorian mansion in one of the town's historic districts. At the door was an antique coffin with a very real skeleton observing the guests.
My first wife (who figured that some day I was going to take off and be a girl full time) didn't much care I was going to the party with a female co-worker-dressed like a complete tramp. Halloween is a great time for genetic and TG females to strut their stuff. (Who do they think they are kidding?)
Shaved legs, heels, micro mini dress and long blond hair pretty much described my outfit.
When we arrived, I pretty much didn't say much and I found that a lot of the guests didn't really know I wasn't as I appeared to be. I was in heaven!
Later in the evening, a couple did approach me to tell me how good I looked and didn't know the truth initially and did I want to go with them to another party?
Reluctantly I had to turn them down. My ride was with my co-worker and I thought it would be rude to do that to her.
The couple left and I asked the hosts who they were.
It turns out he was a very new politician who was running for a state representative seat. As the years went by, he went to Washington and became a very powerful congressman.
I've often wondered how deep the attraction was that night and did I destroy my chance for a job in the capital or even a "tell all" book?
Let's see: "Monica and Cyrsti" A Life Under The Desk! lol
New Shows Taking Springer's Place?
All of the sudden I'm seeing more transgendered folks fighting it out legally on the television "judge" shows.
I'm too embarassed to mention all of them I watch when I'm bored or need a distraction when I write.
I'm seeing primarily drag queens fighting over beauty pageant gowns and wigs or clothes.
On occasion though, a divorce court judge ruled on a case where the man was transistioning to female and appeared as a female.
At the least, it is a step up from Springer!
I'm too embarassed to mention all of them I watch when I'm bored or need a distraction when I write.
I'm seeing primarily drag queens fighting over beauty pageant gowns and wigs or clothes.
On occasion though, a divorce court judge ruled on a case where the man was transistioning to female and appeared as a female.
At the least, it is a step up from Springer!
Transgender Mentor?
Along the way through our gender journey some of us have identified as a transvestite, transgender or a transsexual person.
For most of us the trip has been a very lonely one. Many have longed for a friend or a mentor to help along the way. Most of you I communicate with still are looking for a magical transgender mentor.
For the most part, I don't think she exists in the traditional sense.
I was lucky. I did reach out to a few women who did help me. One actually made me up once but then sold me out later. The others were actually more of mental role models whose constant input centered around the true female realities. In essence I was experiencing the female positives and living none of the negatives.
A true mentor is hard to find. In fact I think more and more genetic women suffer from lack of mentors. They are female of course but not women. A topic for another post.
The magical mentor who can transport to your chosen gender is in reality yourself.
Sure a woman can apply your makeup and as you fall in love with your new beautiful face (especially if the woman who applied it is in a relationship with you) the dynamics can change radically.
All of a sudden, you could become competition or you become reality. All of the talking and planning is behind both of you and your girl self is in front of her.
In some of our cases (me) I loved what I saw and pushed my mentor for more and more. She was a very strong person (deceased) and kept pushing me into her world. Perhaps you have read one of my older posts "You Make A Terrible Woman". Her entire point was I was looking the part but so what? I had no understanding of what reality was as a woman.
At that point I became my own mentor. I observed and became a student of a feminine life. Sure, I can never experience the problems of a monthly period or the agony and ecstasy of child birth but I can express my female self on my own terms.
Perhaps you are one of the very few who a genetic female has taken by the hand and guided along the feminine gender path.
Congratulations! For the rest of us, get going girls. Do what genetic women have always done. Deal with life the best you can and make it yours.
For most of us the trip has been a very lonely one. Many have longed for a friend or a mentor to help along the way. Most of you I communicate with still are looking for a magical transgender mentor.
For the most part, I don't think she exists in the traditional sense.
I was lucky. I did reach out to a few women who did help me. One actually made me up once but then sold me out later. The others were actually more of mental role models whose constant input centered around the true female realities. In essence I was experiencing the female positives and living none of the negatives.
A true mentor is hard to find. In fact I think more and more genetic women suffer from lack of mentors. They are female of course but not women. A topic for another post.
The magical mentor who can transport to your chosen gender is in reality yourself.
Sure a woman can apply your makeup and as you fall in love with your new beautiful face (especially if the woman who applied it is in a relationship with you) the dynamics can change radically.
All of a sudden, you could become competition or you become reality. All of the talking and planning is behind both of you and your girl self is in front of her.
In some of our cases (me) I loved what I saw and pushed my mentor for more and more. She was a very strong person (deceased) and kept pushing me into her world. Perhaps you have read one of my older posts "You Make A Terrible Woman". Her entire point was I was looking the part but so what? I had no understanding of what reality was as a woman.
At that point I became my own mentor. I observed and became a student of a feminine life. Sure, I can never experience the problems of a monthly period or the agony and ecstasy of child birth but I can express my female self on my own terms.
Perhaps you are one of the very few who a genetic female has taken by the hand and guided along the feminine gender path.
Congratulations! For the rest of us, get going girls. Do what genetic women have always done. Deal with life the best you can and make it yours.
Transgender "Gold Standard"
November 4th Thailand once again hosts arguably the finest transgender beauty pageant in the world.
This picture pretty much tells it all!
You can vote this year! Vote this year for your favorites online at
RipleysThailand.com. The finals will be broadcast on Channel 9 and in
more than 30 countries around the world.
This picture pretty much tells it all!
You can vote this year! Vote this year for your favorites online at
RipleysThailand.com. The finals will be broadcast on Channel 9 and in
more than 30 countries around the world.
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Welcome to Reality
Out with my girls. Liz on left, Andrea on right. I worked very hard to get to the point where I could live as a transgender woman. Once I b...
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Amateur, by my definition means a person who does not seriously pursue a certain interest, job or hobby. Ever sense Cyrsti's Condo ...
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I don't find many new womanless pageant pictures floating around the web anymore. I think it's primarily due to the fact that th...