Hard to Believe

It has been nine months since this blog hit the world wide web thanks to Al Gore.
I thought I would get brave and look back at the first post.
Some three hundred posts later, this was how it all started!
Here is one of the stories I sent to a friend  and she thought I should share so...Here" ya" go! Direct from alternate life style redneck bars , two stellar tales...of me being me.
The first establishment basically was a female biker bar, not hardcore outlaw women, but a serious crew none the less. The best way I can describe the place was I got the juke box turned off one night when I played Shania Twane "Lord I feel like a Woman." No sense of humor...kind of like the urinal that was made into a planter.
The best pick up line I heard was "you don't look half bad. Maybe I should take you with me and we can see what kind of time we could have."
YAHOO. Me thinks that could have hurt!
Back in those days my wife was still alive and I had to be home around midnight. She got off about that time and I had to be presentable with all signs of makeup gone. Believe me, no amount of jabbering would have saved my place in the house when I told her I was abducted by an alien lesbian.
A kinder and gentler lesbian bar also operated on the same side of town. I made friends there that I'm in touch with today. (5 years later)
One night karaoke was the entertainment. Here she comes...burr haircut, cowboy hat and weighing in at a
conservative 250.
I'm in long blond hair, tight jeans and boots. It occurred to me quickly...  it may be about time I started sharpening up my non existent singing skills.
She did ask me to sing, she TOLD me to pick out a song. I thought "is this the way they treat girls in Texas?" 
I opted for the only song my male self destroyed after many beers...the romantic ballad
 "You don't have to call me Darling, Darling.  You don't even call me by my name."
 David Allan Coe if you're familiar.(I think he wrote it in jail?)
After we made sweet music (ha) she said "your voice is as low as mine!"
I felt as if I was in a "Lola" song remake, just all twisted up. In this version, I was the guy and she was Lola. Well, I kind of was the guy and she was kind of the girl but backward... when and if she put me on her knee. I thought maybe I could outrun her if I took my boots off!
We parted friends (thank god!) and I don't truly know if she guessed my gender. I had never seen her before or after!
Unfortunately all the pure lesbian bars are closed now in the area. How
sad. I miss drinking free. But more importantly, I won't get to try out
one of my top fantasies...female strippers in a lesbian bar! Dammit!
Mo MO MO! as Billy Idol would say was coming up!
Some fifty thousand visitors have read all or part of the blog over the past 9 months which is small compared to some but huge in my mind. I would like to thank all of you again for the chance to share a slice of my life with you!

This Says It All!

I wonder on occasion why some of us say or think we don't have a chance with a "real man".  In the majority of cases, the "real man" we don't have any chance with is a gay one.
This letter tells us all why we have a chance!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My first love was a beautiful transsexual
woman and she just loved being a woman so much. She delighted in
frills and satin and lace and stockings and pretty clothes. No one
since has ever appreciated her femininity in the way this special
woman did. She had all the operations years ago and had worked so hard
to get a body that matched her intensely feminine soul. Our
relationship sadly came to an end because of my big promotion and move
to Winnipeg, and her desire to stay in Montreal. Two years have passed
and understandably, she has another man. I have dated some very nice
straight women here but they only dress up on special occasions.
Winnipeg women love their old jeans and comfy clothes. So, I find I'm
not satisfied with the women I meet because they're not the
ultra-feminine woman she was. I miss taking my woman out for Saturday
shopping trips to buy her beautiful things. I guess I got spoiled. If
I advertise I'm transsexual-friendly online I'm going to look weird
and suspect, like I have a strange obsession and might be scary. I am
a straight guy who lucked into meeting my first love, and hope to meet
a similar lady who enjoys living in Winnipeg, which will be my home
now. I just want that kind of woman who's kind of an old-fashioned
southern belle. Help! -- Vive La Difference, Wpg.
This comes from the "Winnepeg Free Press"
Cyrsti

Slip Slding Away.

Enjoyed a super evening last night  A friend and I got together for some adult beverages and some electronic trivia. She and I are both relatively competitive and immediately developed a grudge against the best trivia player in the pub. We  did manage to beat him once or twice!
As the night progressed, the other patrons kind of faded into the background. I was not worried about being "spotted" I was just me.
On occasion I did look around (as any one would) and again there was nobody looking back I felt entirely comfortable and secure in my skin.
As I always do, I had to spend some serious "think" time on the whys and hows of the evening.
One fact stands out, attitude ranks somewhere up there with looks if you are in my gender situation.
During the day, I was chatting back and forth with a trans woman who has gone the "SRS" route.
By the time I was getting ready to go out, I was convinced I had no chance of not getting laughed out of everywhere I went. After all, I had not gone through all the needed electrolysis and hormones to make my face smooth as silk. She was right, I hadn't! But, it didn't matter. My beard doesn't really show and I guess my pores didn't matter. I was home. I was who I was supposed to be.
As the room and all the people sort of slid away my girl thought.... life was good!

A Free Sex Change?

Yes, in Thailand of course. From the "Bangkok Post" comes this story.
Sexual reassignment surgery is not currently covered by any health
care system in Thailand. The Sister's Hand foundation is a private
organization that was set up to provide a small number of transgenders
with the necessary funding for full surgery.
A competition is held every year for the gift. Started in 2010, this is the second year of the project. There are
only five places available as each operation costs approximately
100,000 baht. Almost 100 people applied.
Photos by Somchai Poomlard.

A couple of these pictures prove that not EVERY trans woman in Thailand is beautiful.

Except maybe the final photo above. Identified only as a "cabaret performer".
Do you think any national organization here will step forward to set up such a fund? Naah!

Transgender Fiction

I've seen this art form a lot.
"Jenny North" has a site called "TG Graphics and Fiction Archive".
I have never been really into much of the real fiction, I choose to believe much of the other information I see and read. (which could be fiction too!)
The whole venue is such an interesting part of our culture that I had to pass it along.
If you haven't been to the site yet, there is a ton of material.

Here's a small example:
If you go to the "Femulate" site much, "Stana" uses many similar cartoons!
Enjoy!

Just When You Thought You Have Seen It All...

Check out Haruna Ai, the Japanese transgender woman who won the "Miss Transgender Cosmos Pageant  last fall.

You can call me Cyrsti or you can call me Kristi.

But don't call me a transvestite or a crossdresser or a transgendered or a transsexual.
Blah, blah,blah!
Perhaps you have read some or all of the endless rhetoric about our group and labels...but here is more.
From "down under" even!
The time has come again to talk about terminology.

The biggie is the ongoing furore caused by those who want to make
distinctions between various sub-classes of the transgendered
community, partly, I fear, because they want to assert a pecking order
in a range which includes cross-dressers, pre-ops, post-ops,
androgynes and drag adopted for various reasons — some commercial,
some for personal and temporary amusement without an ongoing
commitment to gender change, temporary or permanent.

For many years I thought of myself as a transvestite and acted
accordingly but the time came when I admitted to myself, and the
world, that I was transgendered. For years I imagined the correct term
was transsexual, because I accepted the term in general use, rather
than thinking through the assumptions created by the inevitable
parallel with the words homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual and
asexual.

In other words, that ‘transsexual’ had something to do with sexuality
and the selection of sexual partners. Like many who want the name to
reflect the truth, I now prefer ‘transgender’.

But hey, sexuality, like politics and religion, is a movable feast.
There are those who change their sexuality, with or without also
changing their gender role.
From the Sydney, Australia . "StarOnline".

The Shrinking Transgendered Girl?

I read an article by a big girl explaining the "big girl" role.
Here is a small part.
Must be overly cheery, smiley, and always happy. Not a complainer. Must take everything in stride. Must not shine. Can be pretty, but no prettier than the main character. Role of big girl is an attitude, not a number on the scale. Must be willing to dim your light so others can shine. (from "BlogHer")
I thought, that's me! In reverse.
The majority of the time I'm the "shrinking transgendered girl". The rules are to never really make eye contact. Don't speak until spoken too and give the minimum social effort.
The ultimate in trying to blend or the the ultimate in trying to disappear in a crowd?
What am I missing here? A lot!
To many, I come off as a bitch. They wonder why I don't speak. I totally miss out on some possible great interaction.
That's crazy. So what if I'm read as transgender? I am what I am. It's my ego (male?) slipping through with my inane "rating" system. At the end of the evening, I judge the success of the night on how many people "read" me or not.
Just as the "big" girl needed to change her focus, I need to change mine. I should judge my evening on when and if I met anyone or entered their lives at all.
Missing life due to shrinkage is no fun!!!!

Pioneer Women?

I do possess a degree in history and follow the past with some sort of passion and interest.
Of course transgendered history is very high on my list! I do believe through the past we can sometimes predict the future, or at least use the years as a yardstick. How far have we advanced? If at all?
Of course we all remember "Christine Jorgensen" who broke the gender barrier early in the 1950's.
The first British Transssexual possibly was "Roberta Cowell".
Roberta actually went through her operation nearly a year a half before Jorgensen.
There obviously won't be national holidays to remember pioneers such as these two ladies. Think of how difficult it was for them to go through basically an experimental procedure.
Think of how society as a whole viewed any gay person, let alone a trangendered one?
In society we are still largely made to ride in the back of the bus.
However, thanks to courageous  women like these, we have been able to move up a couple of rows.
Sooner more than later, we too will be able to sit where we want on the bus!