Lots of Clutter

 I attended a rather lengthy webinar yesterday designed to help care givers deal with elderly parents or patients. Predictably, no mention was made concerning LGBTQ+ individuals. I did have a question in to be answered by email at a later date. We will see if the moderator ever answers me.  I doubt it but at the least I got my point across. At any rate, the whole adventure used all my battery power on my laptop along with the usual allotted time I use  to write a blog post.

Then today, I filled out a LGBTQ+ survey and filled out the on line vehicle license tags registration for our car. As always it took Ohio time to catch up and offer an on line service to residents of the state.

Speaking of Ohio, the Repugs in our legislature tried to pull a quick one and reintroduce a ban on transgender athletes in the state which was previously defeated. Fortunately it was defeated again and so far trans athletes in Ohio can compete.  As always, our transgender rights seem to be so fragile. 

The idea of fragile rights continues in this post as readers discuss the recent VA policy shift supporting gender realignment surgeries. First, Lisa P:

" It is good news, but we will see joy know that we have real progress when the next Republican Administration doesn't dismantle the program. My advice to anyone who needs the help is to get it NOW, while the getting is good. Hopefully, this policy will remain in place, but one never knows."

So true Lisa, thanks for the comment.

Then Michelle commented: 

"Remember that the article did state that the VA needs to find medical staff the can perform the procedures. Unfortunately, as with all government programs it will take some time to get it established. I'm with Lisa about if the republican party has anything to do with it, we will see that taken away. I'm also fully aware of the transphobe medical staff that the VA has down here in Florida.
As you said Cyrsti about having a hint of paranoia, I will be waiting to see what will happen. I hope to find out more this weekend when I meet with several members of the LGBTQ group that works in the VA."

Hopefully this means if the VA can't do the procedure themselves, they have to find someone to do it!

Please keep us posted! Also the person in the photo is Carla Lewis. I wore a similar shirt to a Columbus, Ohio Pride event several years ago. 

Confidence!

Circa 2014

 Most assuredly a novice transgender person's initial
 feminine steps into the world are terrifying. Changing genders is not for the faint of hearted. 

Recently I read a post on one of the social media outlets I follow from a new gender explorer desperate to live her life farther. She was tired of "walking" the malls (which are rapidly disappearing)  and wanted to try new and exciting venues. I recommended checking out any local LGBT groups to see if they had any social get togethers. 

The whole interaction brought back memories of my earliest days when I too was tired of the malls and wanted to try something different. I was fortunate and was able to establish a new life as a transgender woman without terrific setbacks. The fear of trying to live a feminine life was far worse than doing it. Plus the more I tried, the more natural my feminine side felt. Perhaps my first transgender girlfriend who used to meet up with me in straight  sports bars said it the best, I passed out of pure stubbornness.  A nice way of saying I wasn't the best looking woman in the room but a woman none the less.

As I fast forward to today, I think back to the recent interaction I had with the restaurant hostess who was stressed out with her seating situation. When it was my turn to ask about the group, there was no recognition from either of us there was a transgender woman in the conversation. The whole interaction was simply person to person. 

Once she found out I was not upset, life went on and I found a spot at the bar. It felt good to be out and proud in public again.

Confidence is our best accessory!

Big Change in the VA?

 I recently received a comment from a fellow transgender veteran Michelle concerning the Veterans Administrations recent announcement they (the VA) would start supporting gender realignment surgeries.

I am a bit slow in sharing this as referenced in this post from the "Orlando Weekly":

" During a Pride event in Orlando over the weekend, the head of the US Department of Veterans Affairs announced that VA hospitals would begin working on a program to provide gender-affirming surgeries to veterans.

Secretary Denis McDonough said he was starting a two-year-long process that would equip VA hospitals with the training to provide surgery to transgender veterans, calling the move "the right thing to do."

Needless to say, this is exciting news for trans vets everywhere!

Thanks Michelle. 

In the Crowd

 Several pictures have emerged from the transgender - cross dresser social event I attended the other night.  

Since I had to wait at the bar to find out where I paid for my drink at, I was one of the last ones to be seated and thus showed up in the picture 

I am at the bottom right, next to my good friend Lawren. I believe nineteen attended.  

Even though I am rather shy, I did have a good time.  

Happy Parents Day

 

Father's Day is here which represents yet another potentially awkward day to remember. 

In my travels across social media, I see all types of responses to Father's Day. All the way from total acceptance of a transgender woman who used to be a father, to no acceptance at all.

Long ago, my daughter came to the decision she would refer to me as a "parent" and leave a gender specific label out of it. I thought it was a great idea. 

My own Dad was rather emotionally distant and never learned a thing about my transgender leanings. Looking back on our relationship, it is very difficult for me to predict how he would have reacted. If my Mom's reaction was any indication, it wouldn't have been positive.

Both of them were part of the WWII/Depression generation which were long on being providers and short on being emotionally accessible. After all, my Mom offered access to advanced psychiatric treatment when I came out to her. The subject was never spoken of again. More than likely, any conversations with Dad would have led to uncomfortable conclusions about a subject we neither knew much about. 

Either way, I would have to have taken the path of accept me or else. Which would have put me on a collision course with my parents attitude of mental illness. Get treatment and get over it. 

Looking back on my interactions with either of my parents, I wish I had taken a more active approach.

Even though, I never heard it from him, Dad I love you and thanks for all you did do.  

Coming Out on Tic Toc?

 One of the programs on television I can't say I have ever watched is "Dance Mom's". 

However, one of the program's performers shed her non authentic male persona and came out as transgender. 

"Zachery Torres"  recently shared on Tic Toc that her pronouns are "she/hers and they/them".

During an interview for Pink News she said she didn't feel a pressure to dance a certain way until she landed a spot on "Dance Mom's". Now she wants to use her platform so young transgender and queer kids don't have to face a line of fire. 

For more, go here. 

The Hostess Stand

 As I have written about here in Cyrsti's Condo, last night was the monthly Thursday social hosted by the transgender - cross dresser group I am part of here in Cincinnati. 

For once, since Liz had to work, I was able to arrive early. Ironically, I walked into a chaotic hot mess. The poor hostess had some sort of a vague idea of a reservation but couldn't come up with who made it and for how many.

Seemingly as she was frozen in in decision, I simply turned around a grabbed a seat at the bar next to several other of the attendees. I was good. The beer was cold and the conversation was light. 

Sooner more than later, the organizers arrived and attempted to dispel the confusion. Order was restored and we ended up waiting a bit longer for a couple of tables to open up. 

I'm sure for many of the people who were there, the whole delay was no problem because of the "special occasion" of being cross dressed in their feminine best. For the rest of us, we were doing our best to enjoy the company. As I said, the beer was cold, the conversation was light and the food was good. The venue even treated us to several free appetizers.  The best part was outside of one person, no one acted like an idiot. It was her 79th birthday and I guess one way or another she was going to try to be the center of attention. 

My only problem was my back. After and hour or so, I become very uncomfortable. 

There were pictures taken, if any are worthwhile, I will pass them along.   

Multiple Transitions

 An acquaintance of mine on Facebook (Joni) recently wrote a post concerning an encounter she had with a cis female friend who all of the sudden  "slipped" up and called her by the correct pronouns which I assume was different because how Joni (left) responded to it. 

She (Joni) responded the whole process just seemed to take a while with her friend to actually transition with her.

I believe there are multiple transitions involved with something as complex as a human gender change. Personally, I think I can recall of at least one major transition when I went from being what I referred to as a cross dresser to a fully out in the world transgender woman.

Unfortunately, we lose sight of how hard it is for others around us to make the transition also. Once again, n my case, I will use my brother as an example. He told me he would always know me and refer to me as my old self. Shortly after that I ended up moving away and we never pursued my gender change any further. On occasion, I do feel guilty I didn't give him the chance to try to transition with me. 

So, as we proceed down this very complex and long journey, we find there is no easy answer to the amount of transitions we go through. Some transgender women go down the surgical path to what they consider "the final solution"  then again, some don't. 

Along the way, somehow we have to consider those making the transition with us. Some never make the journey for what ever reason but some do. Making room for those that do is the essence of being an understanding transgender woman. It's exceedingly hard to do on such an often lonely path we didn't choose to accept but somehow find away to exist with. The whole process has a tendency to make us seem selfish.

As you can see from the picture, Joni has transitioned well. To my knowledge she hasn't had any surgery but has been on HRT for several years. Congratulations on others around her accepting her for  true self! 

Another Social

 As I perhaps have pointed out, there is another "social" scheduled for Thursday night in one of the local seafood restaurants. The event is hosted by the transgender - cross dresser group I am part of. The group also has support group meetings which are still virtual and I have not attended recently. 

So far it looks as if I will be attending by myself as Liz most likely will have to work over. 

I am looking forward to getting out of the house again and casually dressing up as I have dinner. I am slightly different than more than a few of the others because I don't have to go all out to impress anyone in the group. I am planning to wear my favorite form fitting patterned tank top along with a pair of my khaki culottes and black flats. I am going to pull my hair back into a flowing mane and wear a pair of dangling ear-rings to get about as dressed up as I get. As  much as I don't really care about the group, I do care about how the public perceives me.

The venue is slightly upscale so I feel, I  should be too. 

The picture is not what I am wearing but does show approximately how far hormone replacement therapy has changed me. Back then the hair was a wig and the rest was padding.