Gaurav Arora (below) who is now known as Gauri Arora is a known TV personality and has been a part of many Bollywood and television projects. Before her sex change, she had participated in the reality show Splitsvilla and then took part in India's Next Top Model as Gauri Arora after having undergone sex-realignment surgery. Back then, she had said that it takes a lot of courage to accept the reality and come out in public
Parents who love and support their transgender children are saints! I can't imagine having such supportive parents when I was growing up. In another era before the internet and any social media. Perhaps we can refer to the time as the transgender "dark ages"/
Change is slow though and it wasn't so long ago I was writing about the local transgender teenager Leelah Alcorn (below) who committed suicide when her parents tried to force her to continue intense religious conversion therapy.
I am writing this post today because of a comment I received from Janine :
" My son is trans and it is great to read insight from others so that I can support him better. Thank you"
Janine now joins my former hair dresser Theresa as transgender advocates of trans children who have commented on the blog, or in Theresa's case, in person. (Theresa is the proud mother too of a trans son.)
It's a far cry from the experience I had with my Mom when she offered to send me to electro shock therapy. Fortunately, I was old enough (22) and secure enough in myself to reject her and it was never brought up again by either of us.
Finally, thanks Janice and Theresa for restoring my faith in human nature. You are saints!
If you feel "Impostor Syndrome" in addition to, or part of gender dysphoria this post from Kira Moore's Closet may help.
To me in my past, Imposter Syndrome has crossed gender lines many times in my life. For example, as I climbed the professional ladder in my business profession as a guy, even though I had nearly reached the top, feeling as if I did was still difficult.
Actually, the term dates back to the early 1970's when it was mentioned by two women :
One of its early introductions was in a 1978 article titled, "The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention," by psychologists Dr. Pauline R. Clance and Dr. Suzanne A. Imes. “Impostor syndrome is a set of beliefs that leave you feeling doubtful of your skills, ability, and whether you deserve to be at the table, and that you will inevitably be exposed as a fraud,” says Dr. Ayanna Abrams, Psy.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist and owner of Ascension Behavioral Health in Atlanta, GA.
Outside of the clinical look at the process, the whole idea to me brings back memories of my "girls' nights outs." Outside of being scared to death, I kept having the deep seated fear of not belonging. Even though the conversations still involved me and didn't really have any of the mystical gender fantasies I had manufactured in my mind and held onto over the years. In other words, if I could finally make it into the "woman's" gender sandbox, I could gain so much knowledge. Indirectly I did.
The article goes on to explain how the syndrome is extra difficult for marginalized communities such as the LGBTQ groups to overcome. And, how becoming part of a community can help.
Agsain, using myself as an example, I think I was able to overcome my idea I was somehow an impostor in the cis woman sandbox because I started to understand many of the cis women respected me for making the transition into being a full time transgender woman. Even though I still had my detractors in the group, I was overwhelmingly made to feel welcome.
Once I finally came to the conclusion I could never fully play in the girls sandbox as a native, I had earned my way in as a woman of transgender experience. Once I arrived, I lost the impostor syndrome for good.
To read more, go here.
Recently, we had the second Transgender Day of Visibility virtual meeting which I have attended. What is going to happen is the whole month of March is going to provide different transgender visibility topics.
Early on, I volunteered to lend my ideas on issues facing elderly transgender senior citizens when they face being housed in assisted living situations. The group thought it was a great idea, especially if I was able to come up with individuals who have experienced it. Of course, it is a tremendously difficult task to find someone who is at the most still alive and able to speak to their experiences.
So far, along the way I have left messages on the "Trans Ohio", HRC, and two Cincinnati based transgender groups looking for input. So far, I have received nothing back. Which wasn't non expected.
Ironically, the only good information I received led me right back to the board I am part of in Dayton called the "Rainbow Elderly Alliance." The former leader of the group was the undisputed expert in the senior citizen LGBT field was the man who tragically just passed away. On the fortunate side, I was able to virtually attend two of his seminars before he passed. It was then decided it would be fine if I was to come as close as I could to re creating one of his seminars.
The only problem I possibly encountered was a unique one. Nearly half way into the meeting a person from one of the state wide agencies who is very effective in providing transgender mental health and over all health care joined the session. Immediately, he started talking about contacting doctors about the problem which still provides no input into finding someone who is transgender (not gay or lesbian) in the system.
For once I kept my mouth shut and didn't sound like a trans elitist and say to the best of my ability the month after all was about transgender visibility, not LGBT as a whole.
In the meantime, I am still searching for someone in the assisted car system who has the where with all to speak on their issues and maybe more important the way to do it.
If you are in the Ohio area and have ideas, please let me know.
Even though I had heard of Trace from her work on television, I didn't realize she is from Dayton, Ohio which is very close to my hometown of Springfield.
Not surprisingly, Trace went through more than a few troubling times to arrive where she is today. Including losing a job at Bloomingdale after she was denied using the women's restroom.
She underwent successful gender realignment surgery in Thailand and returned to New York to work as a dancer in Manhattan for nearly eight years.
Trace Lysette's big career breakthrough happened when she landed the role of "Shea", a transgender yoga teacher on the "Transparent" series.
This picture was taken back in the winter of 2018 at one of Liz's martial arts award banquets. My hair is as long now but has reverted to it's natural color. At the request of my hair dresser.
Recently Transgender model Munroe Bergdorf has taken on the giants of social media. This excerpt comes from "Reuters":
Recently, I have been reading the posts on Paula's Place and Femulate basically concerning wearing high heels and dressing up with no place to go during the pandemic shutdown.
I literally have not had to worry about wearing heels for years because my feet and ankles are in such bad shape from pounding concrete floors during my thirty plus years as a restaurant manager. The last time I can remember wearing heels was six or so years ago when Liz and I went to one of the witches' balls which used to be a regular date for us. It turned out to be agony until I could slip out of my shoes into my nylon covered feet. Also I have a pair of two inch high heeled boots I wore one night...again years ago. The whole experience was ill advised as it was a wet evening and I ended up being seated with Liz at a big table in a winery with several wires from the band I had to negotiate when I got up and went to the restroom. To add insult to injury (almost) my heels took my height to well over six feet, so it seemed the whole room was staring as I walked through. I did make it without bodily injury and decided since everyone was seemingly noticing me, I would stand up as straight and proud as I could. To this day, I am surprised I didn't slip and embarrass myself.
Not surprisingly, both Paula and Stana (of Femulate) have written in depth on the effects of how their Mothers' fashions influenced their own. Age has dimmed my thoughts on the subject considerably but I do remember my Mom being in dresses most of the time since she was a high school teacher. Plus, of course, I must have been fascinated at some point by her makeup, since I couldn't wait to try it on me too.
Speaking of makeup and getting dressed up, I must be slipping in Liz's eyes. In fact she has even volunteered to do my makeup and hair someday when we can go out again.
I guess the "Covid Slippage" may actually be getting to me more than I thought.
At least I am looking forward to receiving my second vaccine the second week of March. While I am not naïve enough to think life will return to some sort of normalcy, anything coming close will be appreciated!
Image from UnSplash. I have always viewed my transgender journey as a series of upward steps. A few of the steps were short and easy to take...
