Busy Day

Yesterday turned out to be a much busier day than I expected. In fact, it turned out to one of those "Army" style days when you hurry up and wait.

The morning started with an always exciting trip to the DMV to get new tags for our new car. Well, it's new to us! I didn't think I would be needed, so I grabbed a seat to wait for Liz to wind her way through an insanely long line to get to a clerk. It turned out since my name was on the title too, I had to step up and be part of the process. All went well until the clerk asked how we described our relationship for the record. I said "Partner." She glared at me and said "How long?" I glared back and said eight years and she seemed satisfied and went on to the next question. After an eternity, the whole fun filled process was over.

Next was Liz's eye appointment. The only thing I can say, the place was air conditioned and had comfortable chairs. Soon we left and headed to one of the close neighborhood specialty food stores to look for produce. After squeezing the mango's it was past time to head to the pharmacy because they close every day for a lunch break between 1:30 and two. Liz was offered some sort of a discount card for her prescription. That was the good news, the bad news was she had to call a number to get it. Of course by that time, the lunch break was upon us and we ended waiting the extra half hour to try to get the prescription filled. It all turned out to be for naught because the phone lines were closed till Monday.

All of the fooling around made us late for our next appointment.  We were supposed to pick up a friend and be at a restored Cincinnati church which has been made into a craft brewery and event center. We were checking it out for perhaps holding a future Witches Ball there. Also we were supposed to meet the disc jockey we were thinking of using this year. By the time we got there, we were a half hour late. Personally, I loved the place. It brought back fond memories of escaping a hot humid day in a cold bar drinking cold beer and relaxing. Although the meeting itself made it hard to relax, I was treated like any other person in the place.

The disc jockey was a trip. We as a group got some push back for using him because supposedly he was a neo nazi in his past. So, we wanted to meet him naturally, to hear his side of the story. Interestingly, Liz said if he avoids me, maybe he is a Nazi. Because they would be more apt to steer clear of a transgender person.

To make a long story short, I don't think he is or was a Nazi and someone is just out to get to us through him. It's sad because all the money raised goes to charity (homeless shelter) and we don't make anything for what essentially is huge pain in the rear. I keep thinking this will be the last year.

After taking our friend home, we finally were able to stop at an Aldi Food Store and do some light shopping for a late dinner.

After all of that, we ran out of time and the day came to an end. Thank goodness.

Lesson learned? If and when you get a chance to live a full life as a transgender woman...never look back!

Flower Girls

As luck would have it, I stopped during my walk at a neighbor's house down the street to admire one of her flower beds. As I did, she came running out to talk to me. It turns out I was the first person in the neighborhood to notice and appreciate all of her hard work. With all the rain we have been having the flowers are doing quite well.

As always, I was a bit self conscious because I hadn't even bothered to put on any make up which of course I don't for my morning walks when I meet very few people. She was so engrossed with talking about her garden, she didn't even seem to notice. After all, she wasn't wearing any either and may have found it odd if I was wearing any either.

Ironically, a better example of a flower girl adding beauty to her plants just came from Connie:

Connie pointed out the picture was actually taken last September "when the flowers were on their downside." Sort of like she was. Well, we can all claim that!

Seriously, I am sure she gets a lot of compliments on  the beautiful flowers and herself.

Thanks for sharing :).

Happy Fourth!

It's the Fourth of July and time to forget the divides we suffer in Washington and remember all which is still good with our nation.

Sadly at a time when our government seems to be so out of touch with the people, so much good is happening at the grass roots level, especially within the LGBTQ community. Like no time in the past, we are preparing for the fight ahead.

In the meantime, let's remember Woody Guthrie's immortal song, This Land is Your Land:




I would like to thank the "Tony Burgess Blog" I follow for this inspiration!

Passing Privilege?

I saw a post somewhere the other day about the importance of a person's "passing privilege."

First of all, I am not a big fan of the passing comment at all and always like to refer back to Stana's Femulate comment referring to how she always passed with care, by using her horn, flashing her lights etc.

Long HRT Hair

As far as I am concerned, I go back to what a transgender woman friend told me years ago. She said, I passed out of sheer will power. So many years later, I still do. If people don't like me, it's their problem.

I was never blessed with being a "natural." It took me a long time to realize the compliment "You make a great looking woman," was missing the rest of the comment...for a man. Even though I grew up desperately wanting to be a girl, I lived in a male dominated world and had precious little time to express my "feminine side."

My real inclusion into having any passing privilege at all came after I made the decision to go on HRT. All the good things happened like hair, breasts, soft skin and a rounder face. However, I do believe sometime in the future I will get a health pay back in return for messing around with my body's hormonal basic's.

In the mean time though, I will continue to put my best feminine foot forward to the world the best I can. Out of sheer will power.

Hopefully I won't wear my horn out when I get the chance to pass.   

Pooya!

If you haven't seen or heard, Pantene is starring a 41 year old transgender woman as one of it's models:

"When Pooya Mohseni was 19 years old, she was walking around a park in her hometown of Tehran, Iran, wearing a simple black T-shirt and white jeans, when a group of policemen approached her.

The officers took issue with how Mohseni, a transgender woman who was presenting as masculine at the time, wore her hair. To them, it was too long.

Pooya Mohseni

"My hair was down to the middle of my ears," Mohseni, now 41, tells Refinery29. "Not very long at all. If I pulled it all to the front of my face, it would come down to the middle of my nose." 

According to Mohseni, the officers' real problem wasn't her hair. It was what her hair signified.  Almost two decades later, that very same head of hair is making its debut in a new Pantene campaign called "Don’t Hate Me Because I’m #BeautifuLGBTQ," which was born out of the brand's new partnership with GLAAD in honor of Pride Month. In a video for the campaign that can be seen on both YouTube and social media, Mohseni recounts her arrest and declares that "hair is the most visibly transformative part of your body."

I agree and still feel so fortunate I was able to grow my own hair. It forced me into going all out to adopt a stable feminine persona. The drawback of course is making sure I keep up with it at my stylist!

Bored

After every up moment such as this weekend, there naturally comes a period of "what now?"

I have nothing going on this week until Friday when we have our monthly transgender-cross dresser social at the Mexican Restaurant we go to quite a bit.

It's still too early to decide, but since we are still baking in our mini heat wave, I probably will wear my other maxi dress.

Other than that, I will be riding along with Liz to her doctor's appointments, which require no special preparation to speak of. Just the normal jeans and minimal make up.

All the Prides in the area are now done, so it's a let down too. Most of the euphoria of Pride can be tempered with all the tragic violence against transgender women around the country and the world. Pride is a powerful example of what is possible...if we all stick together and make it happen.

A Reminder

Last night we went out to dinner at one of our fave spots.

It was a warm, even hot summer evening here in Ohio, an ideal night I thought to wear one of my long slinky maxi dresses.

It was fun to take my shower in anticipation of the evening and washing my hair and letting it dry naturally, bringing out all the curls.

All too quickly it was time to slip into my dress, attach my favorite earrings and slide into my black flats. Even though I spend my whole life in a feminine world, I had an inkling of a thought...all of this was fun and I loved it.

The feeling continued into the evening.  The restaurant wasn't very busy for a change so we didn't have a problem finding the rest of our party.

As I walked in, I was distinctly aware of the changes to my body thanks to HRT. I could feel everything from my hair on my neck all the way to the shoes on my feet. Now I thought, this was what I went through all the changes for.

Ironically, a woman in a black pants suit (and obviously nothing under it) sat down close to us. For a second my mind flashed back to an earlier time when I would have been intensely envious of her. But last night, I didn't have to be.

I was free to finally be myself and it felt great.

The picture on the left is actually the same dress taken last summer. 

Marvel Goes Trans

From "The Swaddle":

"The third season of Jessica Jones released this week, concluding Netflix’s four-year-long, uber-successful partnership with Marvel. The series, with its feminist lead and all-female lineup of directors, is known for its inclusive representation of people of color and sensitive handling of queer relationships, sexuality, rape, and post-traumatic stress syndrome. Pushing the diversity envelope even further, Jessica Jones‘ new season stars transgender actress Aneesh Sheth, who plays superheroineJessica’s sassy and resourceful new assistant Gillian — Marvel’s first ever trans character.

While this is a big move for trans representation on screen, the way the show portrays the character of Gillian is significantly refreshing. In a promotional interview with Marvel, Sheth says: “I’m transgender, and the character of Gillian is also trans. But there is no mention of her being trans within the show, nor kind of a narrative around her identity, which I think is wonderful because trans people exist in the world and it’s not always about their [trans] narrative.” 

Sheth was born in Pune, India, and moved to the U.S. to pursue a career in acting. She graduated from New York University and kicked off her career as Sweetie, a character in A.R. Rahman’s musical Bombay Dreams. Today, she is an actress, a singer and a trans activist, with a Master’s degree in social work, who spends her time between the stage, the screen and working with LGBTQIA+ youth groups.

“I think it’s important in terms of representation to have people out there recognize that you’ve got a South Asian trans person on television who’s kind of creating representation, but also how wonderful it is for that person to exist in a show without having to hit [everyone] over the head and avoid sensationalism,” Sheth says, speaking to Marvel."

For more follow the links above.

Acceptance

The person I hadn't had contact with in over eleven years took very little time in getting back in touch with me.

It turns out she lives in Phoenix, Arizona now and while being surprised (shocked) at my gender transition news she accepted it one hundred percent.  Further more she wants to see if I can add any information on my ancestry for her. It should be interesting.

Speaking of interesting, we (Liz and I) are booking a trip to Colorado in approximately three weeks. We get the dubious thrill of riding a tour bus through quite a bit of boring scenery before the fun starts. I am a huge train buff and we will ride four different rail lines and even spend a couple days in Denver.

The tough parts will be figuring what to pack for a ten day trip and holding back all the internal fears I have about being "discovered" by a mean old lady on the trip. I call it my "Transgender-PTSD." This is actually our fourth time doing this, so you would think I would be getting better.

More than likely nothing will happen and I will have done all of this worrying for nothing.