Lost in Transition

I don't know if you have had a chance to watch (or even like) the transgender based TLC reality show which follows several married couples as the spouse comes out as trans.

The show does have it weaknesses of course but overall does a good job at covering many of the gut wrenching situations we as transgender women go through. Examples include the torment one of the couples goes through as the trans spouse is loudly mis-gendered and mocked in a Seattle nail salon all the way to the joy experienced by another of the spouses the first time she sees herself in a new "sewn on" permanent wig.

Other situations include one person coming out to her wife's neighborhood "girl's night out group", all the way to another of the novice transgender women's reaction to going to a "transition" makeover expert in Los Angeles.  If I had to guess ahead of time, I think this person will be the one out of the group to back out because her wife does not approve and she is doing the transition trip all wrong. I have written it here in Cyrsti's Condo before, a MtF gender transition is tough and may not be for everyone. You may want to experience living a feminine lifestyle a little (or a lot) before you sell your life up the creek to live it.

To give Connie (who lives in Seattle) equal time, there also is a family from Ohio on the show but so far, not much as been shown of her going out in public and living as a new person. On the negative side the person describes in tears her experience of going through a religious conversion therapy session with a priest.

All in all, I continue to find the show interesting enough to watch on a continuing basis. So far it has kept my interest by weaving many of the complex threads we face as transgender women in it.

We will see how it goes in the future.

I provide links to it, if you would like to stream some episodes. Lost in Transition.

Pride

June is "Pride" month and the days long celebrations and parties are underway.

Not so long ago, transgender women and trans men had little or no representation during these events. Now, even the local Veteran's Administration Centers around here show up and have a presence during the Pride days. Not so long ago the celebrations were known as "gay pride" days and the "T" in LGBT was largely silent.

Now, it's good to see no longer only drag queens have a presence and we can be seen for what we are...proud transgender folk. 

I know my local cross dresser-transgender group, as well as Trans Ohio will be setting up during the large Cincinnati Pride event, June 23rd. Let's hope for good weather again this year! Last year, it was gorgeous!

Individually, Pride month just means the obvious to us all. It's a month to stand together and stand a little prouder knowing we are not all alone. Even for those of you still deeply in the closet, the month can provide a beacon of hope for the future. After all, the world can change over the years. I am proof of that!

For this post, I have added one of my fave Pride month pictures from the days when I really started to live my authentic life as a trans woman.

Hopefully, you live around a town or community large enough you can get out and enjoy a Pride experience. Every year a new celebration shows up in a town around here.

Sunday!

Again, a week has gone by all too fast.

Friday night as I wrote about, Liz and I went out to meet the cross dresser - transgender group I am part of. All went well except for one person dressed in a skin tight ultra short mini dress. I was watching the reaction from other patrons in the otherwise straight venue. Predictably, there were a lot of unwanted glances. I will say though, most everyone else in the group does a great job in doing a feminine presentation.

We also made a new friend and fellow transgender vet. Krissy, I would like to welcome you into Cyrsti's Condo! Enjoy!

Saturday. Liz and I went to her karate class and then stopped to shop at one of our fave discount stores. The only point of interest was when one of the sales girls on the floor stopped to look me up and down before we settled into a brief uneventful conversation.

Also last week, I finally gathered enough courage to call the hair stylist who came to one of the support group meetings. I left a message for her to call me, let's see if she has enough courage to call back :).

Other than that, the week went on by in a hurry, complete with a visit to my vampire doctors at the VA.  As written previously, I didn't get to see the nurse who can't seem to stop calling me "he", so the usually slightly painful experience went better.

I hope your week went well and was productive.

Karaoke Night

Tonight is the night I go and hear others sing. Some well...some not so well...me not at all. Hopefully tonight I will get a chance to wear one of my new tops which I have showed you examples of here in Cyrsti's Condo. I am going to try the top with either my light weight leggings, or distressed jeans. (To match a few of the singers.)

I am hoping to catch the gossip on why one of the group's members lost her job. It's intriguing because she was fairly confident she wouldn't. Of course losing a job for the most part is never good and Connie has another take on the matter:

 FABULOUSCONNIEDEEMay 31, 2018 at 1:58 PM

"Even if ones job may be protected, by law, as it relates to her or his trans status, an employer can find some other reason to terminate employment. It may not be that the employer is averse, personally, but there could be a feeling that a trans person may not be as productive (especially, if the job involves dealing with the public). If nothing else, an employer may just want to eliminate the potential drama in the workplace. There is a lot of difference between being accepted, even supported, in ones transition on a personal level and how others see it when profits are considered.

Personally, I would not want to work for someone who had doubts about my ability to perform at a high level. Transitioning is difficult enough without having to always be feeling scrutinized by the boss. Beyond that, being MtF myself, I can attest to the lowered expectations and pay that women experience.

I've heard from other trans people who advocate securing a job before transitioning. I'll agree to that only if one were going into that job before really knowing that she or he would be transitioning. The decision to transition begins with being honest with oneself and her/his own gender identity. The next step is to be honest with others. I would much rather go into something as my genuine self, and to be accepted or rejected based on that honesty. For me, it's "what you see is what you get." Not to say that makes it easier to find employment, however, but I can start - and proceed - entirely based on who I am - not what I may be perceived to be."

Ohio is in the  process of beginning to protect LGBT employment but like you said, there are so many "gray" areas to consider. 

Thanks for the comment. 

The Knife Behind the Back

A friend of mine from one of my cross dresser - transgender support groups recently got fired unexpectedly from her job. She started HRT approximately six months ago and did talk about the point of "no return" on her job, when she would have to come out as her true self. She was reasonably positive nothing would happen following a few preliminary discussions with fellow employees. I have not seen her yet, to hear her side of the story.

Speaking of losing one's livelihood because she came out as trans, check out this post from Buzz Feed News:

"When showrunner Scottie Madden first came out as a trans woman to an executive at Discovery Inc.’s Animal Planet in January 2015, she felt relieved. “If my top-level client is OK with this, then I'm going to be OK,” she’d told herself. Before transitioning, she had worked with the network to develop Dude, You’re Screwed, an adventure reality series that ended up airing on the company’s flagship network, Discovery Channel. As Madden recalls it, the executive had been “so blown away and happy and accepting.” From there, the showrunner proceeded to come out to all her colleagues in reality television. Their acceptance, Madden said, bordered “on the verge of surreal.”

But Madden’s optimism was misplaced. Now, more than three years after coming out, Madden says that neither Discovery, nor any other network or production company, has hired her to run another show.

“I never know if [an executive’s] not calling me back because I’m transgender, because she doesn’t have anything for me, or because she no longer works there — you never know,” Madden told BuzzFeed News, describing the often ambiguous nature of show business. “When you work for hire, you serve at the mercy of somebody's whim. The phrase you always hear is, ‘It just didn’t work out.’ And that covers all manners of things.” As showrunners, Madden explained, “Our clients are both the network and the production company.” As the linchpin between the two, they pitch ideas, help TV executives develop shows, and officially get the job when and if the show gets bought.

Onscreen transgender representation in Hollywood is severely lacking; the GLAAD Media Institute found that across broadcast, cable, and streaming television series that aired during the 2017–2018 season, only 17 regular and recurring characters were trans. The statistics aren’t any better for trans people behind the camera, with a few exceptions like Shadi Petosky, who created Amazon’s Danger & Eggs animated series after working for eight years as an animation supervisor on Nick Jr.’s Yo Gabba Gabba! Like most showrunners, Madden had worked steadily in television before running a show. But since she came out as transgender, Madden says the job offers have dried up. "

For more, go here. and always remember, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Vampires

I wish this was more of a glamorous post, complete with fun stories of enjoying the summer weather in lite and breezy summer clothes...but it is not. First of all, Monday night, I missed one of the monthly meetings of my cross dresser - transgender groups and then got gently chided about it on Facebook. Some of the other participants don't realize I have a life I guess.

Then Tuesday, was what I call "vampire day" at the VA hospital. I have a disease which causes my body to create too much iron and every three months (if needed) they have to take out a pint of my blood. (Phlebotomy)  Plus, I have to have my blood labs done.

While I have grown accustomed to the discomfort involved with both procedures, I have not gotten used to the circumstances which accompany the day.

For example, I have to take a short elevator ride up to the labs section of the hospital and more or less get to be stared at by a whole room of mostly grizzled older, men when I get off the elevator and go get my number to wait. I guess it's just part of being a woman but I still get a little paranoid about my presentation every time I go. I keep thinking, did I know I was signing up for this as I debarked down the transgender road.

If my iron is too high, then I get to go to hematology to see the real vampires. Seriously, my only problem is with one of the nurses who can't seem to get the "he" word out of her noggin when and if she deals with me. She is not very good and I hope I never get her but I do every now and then.

Past all of that, the day was very routine and hot! It looks like we missed Spring all together this year. Who knows though, maybe we will have some cool spots in June!

Memorial Day Weekend

If you are located in the United States, it is Memorial Day Weekend. Unfortunately, many of us just celebrate the time as the start of summer and/or a three day weekend.

The true meaning of the holiday is, as described by the Google Dictionary: "a day on which those who died in active military service are remembered, traditionally observed on May 30 but now officially observed on the last Monday in May.."

 I am sure many of you have a relation or two who gave the ultimate sacrifice for their country. 

It's time now to put down your grille tongs and/or adult beverage and remember those who couldn't make it to your party. Especially, the transgender ones. Just think how many served in silence!

Lost in Transition

The "TLC" Network has started it's "Lost in Transition" summer series. The show focuses on several couples going through a Mtf transgender transition. Before we get into my ideas concerning the series, I need to put in a disclaimer about any or all links I share. For example, if you are one of our international readers, I don't know if you can get an episode somewhere on line, or not.

Now, onto the show.

The first thing I noticed was none of the transgender women were a "natural" although "Leslie" was close and the others haven't really emerged yet in the show. Here is another link you can try, which describes the four couples.

One couple really got to me on an extreme personal level. Spoiler alert!

One of the wives (and her best friend) ganged up on one of the transgender women. The wife was struggling mightily with her spouse going through the transition. Her name as well as how she reacted took me back to the issues I experienced with my deceased wife. All of the sudden, I was back to feeling all the dread and confusion I felt during our relationship. My whole equilibrium was thrown off for almost the rest of the day.

My heart also went out to another of the couples who happened to live in a very rural area. The trans woman's spouse was pregnant with their second child. While the wife accepted her trans spouse, it has yet to be seen on the show if they can survive in a small conservative rural community.

My final recommendation on the show is, so far, it is not bad and even balances out accepting and un-accepting spouses. Which is reality in our world.

As I said, I have only seen one episode,so it will be interesting to see how the featured transgender lives play out. 

All Frills for the Weekend

Well, summer has arrived around here, complete with the heat and humidly.

For much of my life, I have envied the women around me who were able to pull out and wear their incredibly feminine and frilly summer fashions.

Even though, I have not yet reached my goal weight, I can comfortably wear the summer tops I purchased for this season. I just love a couple of the ones I have showed you all. My guilty pleasure with most of them comes when I don't have to wear a bra.

Now, here are my disclaimers:

My breasts just aren't that big to have to wear a hot close fitting bra.

I always try to remember at my age, my HRT can be given and/or taken away, so I try to savor the fashion moments given to me.

FYI, my tops are modest enough, not to show too much improper skin. 

At this point, I think I have enough tops and a couple pairs of fave distressed jeans to make it through the summer. I wish I could tell you I am going out quite a bit, my social life is just not that active! But I do see the same people quite a bit, so I do need different outfits.

Finally, on a different subject, I also have to still garner the courage to make a hair appointment to shape and thin out my hair.