Why Not a Trans Woman?

Following my recent post concerning my recent encounter with a transgender "admirer", I thought about bringing back an old post I had written years ago singing the praises of trans women.

Rather than searching through nearly 4500 archived blog posts, I decided to re-write a whole new post.

First of all, I believe many transgender women have the capabilities to understand a cis-man more than a cis woman. After all, we walked a mile or so in guys shoes during our lives and know how both sides think to an extent.

Having said that, I also think the very point has the potential to scare a lot of guys off. What if we understand too much? Would the whole process give us too much of an upper hand in a relationship?

Then, another elephant in a room full of them is how a man brings a transgender woman home to meet the family? It's bad enough if you are doing it alone.

Finally, there is the ultimate problem with sexuality-normally on the man's part. Does he face up to being gay when indeed he doesn't have to because the trans woman has long since quit seeing herself as a guy?

I'm biased but I think a transgender mate can provide a rich and unique life experience to any relationship. I also think admirers are so aggressive because we trans girls are so rare and even exotic to some.

Perhaps though, some transgender women migrate back to cis women because of some of the basic courtesies of life...like not getting stood up on dates to start with. But then again there is the on going problem of so many trans women being so damned nasty.

So I've tried to dodge the herd of elephants in a very small room and deal with a very complex subject! Excuse me while I clean up the mess!

The "Apple" of His Eye?

It's been awhile since I have encountered an admirer.

For you who do not know, the simplest definition of an admirer is a cis-male who is attracted to a transgender woman or crossdresser.

This person stumbled (not literally) on me through another transgender woman I know. Ironically our disagreement on the causes of global warming opened the door to further communication- on the internet even.

Before I knew it we were off the subject and onto the fact of how friendly I seemed. From there he went to the usual series of questions concerning how far along was my transition, how pretty I was and oh, by the way-what was my sexuality. He understood I was in a relationship and a lesbian.

By this time I had to respect how smooth he was. Mark Twain and global warming all the way to my sexuality in under 10 questions.

Of course he was going to ask me out too (I still have no idea where he lives).

All of this goes back to an old movie I never saw "Trans Girls are Easy." Admirers must have it on their most watched list.

Paper Girl?

I thought this experience from Connie's past was at once charming, scary, funny and along the way I was envious!

 " Did I ever tell you the story about my paper route adventure? At the tender age of thirteen, very early on a Sunday morning, I got dressed up in my mother's clothes, put on some makeup and a wig, and began my delivery of the Portland Oregonian. I had 97 papers to deliver up a long steep hill, and they were quite full of inserts that morning. I decided, therefore, that I needed the help of my mom's car. She had driven me up the hill a few times before, but I was in no condition to wake her to ask this time. So......I coasted the car out of the driveway and then proceeded to do the route. 

My mother figured out later that day what I'd done, but I was really surprised by her reaction. She was not so mad that I'd used the car, and she was only slightly more upset that I'd borrowed her clothes and wig. Her big problem was that, if someone she knew had seen me, she would have been so embarrassed that someone would think SHE would be out and about at 4:00 AM! She did punish me, but I kinda took it as a compliment that she thought I might "pass" (even if it were as my mother)"

While I have written a number of times of how I used my paper route money to finance makeup and shoes, there would have been no way I could pulled off what you did Connie and lived to write about it today!!!!

Transgender Resistance

As we all know by now, the winds of change are upon us and harsh winds they may be. Like it or not-Donald Trump will be the next President of the United States.

Now-I have no understanding of why anyone in the transgender family would have voted for him-I still know they did. Frankly I am scared to death of all strides we have made in the trans community getting reversed and in the gay/lesbian one too with a future Conservative Supreme Court Judge.

As with everything else in this country though, change can occur and let's not forget who won the popular vote. After all, Trump was right-the election was rigged-in his favor.

This morning Stana over at Femulate ran a post called "The First 100 Days of Resistance." Follow the link to check it out.

Make Me a Woman? Help???

The other day, I saw a plea from one of my online contacts to help "make him a woman."

Number one, I do not possess such God or Goddess like qualities and number two, even asking such a question shows a complete misunderstanding of the situations the individual is going through.

Why?

A true gender transition must start on the inside and work it's way out, not vice versa. A great number of the most beautiful cross dressers and drag queens on the planet have no intention of ever being a woman. So I recommend living as much as you can in the feminine world and then deciding if you want to go further down a transgender path. If all goes well, your interior gender leanings will match your exterior and all will be well.

You will also have to learn the basic differences of living as the opposite gender as well. If you haven't noticed, cis women who can be the most nurturing, loving people on the planet, can also be the most clannish, vindictive and competitive too. When push comes to shove (and it might) men are basically more social like dogs and women more like cats.

Unidentified 

One example would be a divorce. Many times caused by the input of another woman on a man and healed by a group of women friends on the other.

Can you imagine how wealthy a person could be if she could wave her magic wand and "make" a man a woman?  Then change a person back when the change wasn't at all what he expected? The loss of male privilege alone can cause many to turn back.

Of course I journeyed to the feminine side, looked around, took my lumps and stayed. The reason I am so pessimistic is how traumatic the trip can be. However, once you reach the other side and you belong there, there is no better feeling in the world.

No, I can't make you a woman but I can help along the way. Perhaps better than most cis women because I have been there and done it.

OK Bitches

After some thought, I have decided to go ahead and re-post one of the most unexpected comments I have received maybe ever. And, I am not so sure he even had the right blog, but here goes:

"I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This (his) blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women."

In response, I can say a couple of things. First, transgender women may indeed want to agree with you because you present an idealized view of American women we may want to subscribe to.

Second, I agree with the number of video's around these days of girls/young women running in gangs or fighting is disgusting. I had (deceased) cis-friend of mine who always said being a women was a learned/taught trait. As the gender lines are becoming increasingly blurred, younger girls are not being taught the basics. Even my brother and I who were obviously raised male were expected to know how to do housework.

It's my understanding as more and more men are beginning to stand up for themselves in court, more and more equitable settlements are being made. Rather than the men just running away with their tails between their legs.

Finally, I can't/won't speak to having kids or getting fat although I have seen my share of cis women become overweight and work like hell to lose the pounds to "get another man."

Look, I believe sweeping generalizations of any kind are unfair and I know my share of proud American women who do and can hold their own with any others. 

Girl Glasses II

It doesn't seem possible but I just reached my two year point on my glasses and it was time yesterday to pick out another pair.

I receive vision care through the Veterans Administration since I am an Vietnam era transgender veteran. What that means is, I don't literally have walls of frames to chose from, but you can't beat the price.

As it turned out yesterday, the office was nearly empty and there was no pressure to hurry up and pick a new pair of frames. Plus, the optical person was cordial and non rushed too.

I positively loved my choice of essentially a new wire rimmed design in a neutral color the optician said matched my hair color. So I guess I will have to follow through with keeping my hair color close to or the same.

I also feel "girl glasses" along with wearing my own hair have had such a powerful effect on being able to present as well as I do. I am not saying I do it extremely well, I am saying I need every trick in the book to help where ever I can!

For all of you clamoring for a picture, I will not actually get the glasses for up to three to five weeks.

Bullying the Trans Girl

I wrote the other day about my long elevator ride with two rather sketchy men standing behind me on a tiny elevator. Fortunately, nothing happened...but it could have. Read on to a couple of Connie's experiences:

"I  can relate to your trepidation in the elevator. The fact that we are, as you said in your earlier post, low hanging fruit, there are those would find much delight in exercising power over us. This is true for both cis and transgender women, but more probable for us. I have been accosted a few times, but I was also assaulted once. It was in the form of a one-two slap to each side of my head from behind, and although the slaps weren't hard enough to really hurt me physically, I can still feel the pain of them just thinking about it now. Your description of being on the elevator brought it all back. 

My incident was that of a bully who hit me more as a provocation, to which I wisely decided to avoid retaliation. There were no witnesses to the assault, but I did make noise so as to draw enough attention to have a small crowd gather. Having had that experience, I would rather brave the elements than get on a parking garage elevator if I saw a sketchy looking character on it when the door opened. We need to be aware of the dangers, and not be lulled into a false sense of security because we've found a place of acceptance - whether that be one segment of society or in general. There are still bad people out there. In fact, I'm going straight to Groupon now to see if that nifty purse-size taser/flashlight/ alarm is still available."

You are so right! Maybe I should have added though, I thought they were getting off the elevator on the same floor I was getting on. I was not careful enough though.

Just "Ranting" Away

I'm sure most of you noticed I had my "panties in a bunch" when I wrote about Evangelicals, politicians and the Radical Right last week.

While I still stand behind the post, the fact still remains I was coming off of four plus days of two different sicknesses and I am the worst baby. And of course I received comments...

Firstly, I received a comment I won't repeat verbatim (because I couldn't verify it's source) viciously slamming American women as a whole. While most certainly I have met my share of the insecure, vicious women the writer described, I have also met my great majority of the most giving persons I have ever met are/were women. I shall defer again to my erstwhile "co blogger" Connie who commented a true transgender transition is never done. I agree because of the very few MtF transgender women I have ever met who truly carry a feminine inner soul-no matter how much money they spend to look the part.

Now, having said all of that, I have always written of my early lessons with other women in a feminine world. I learned early to beware of where the knives were hidden and to watch my back.

As far as Evangelicals go Paula, I think the definition has been distorted over here (Paula is from the UK.) Everyone needs a label and it is sad the Evangelical label has been slapped on so many radical right causes. Yes, it is sad too that somewhere along the line so many fine Christian teachings have been tossed aside in this latest barrage.

So, I am sorry if I ranted too much!