Make Me a Woman? Help???

The other day, I saw a plea from one of my online contacts to help "make him a woman."

Number one, I do not possess such God or Goddess like qualities and number two, even asking such a question shows a complete misunderstanding of the situations the individual is going through.

Why?

A true gender transition must start on the inside and work it's way out, not vice versa. A great number of the most beautiful cross dressers and drag queens on the planet have no intention of ever being a woman. So I recommend living as much as you can in the feminine world and then deciding if you want to go further down a transgender path. If all goes well, your interior gender leanings will match your exterior and all will be well.

You will also have to learn the basic differences of living as the opposite gender as well. If you haven't noticed, cis women who can be the most nurturing, loving people on the planet, can also be the most clannish, vindictive and competitive too. When push comes to shove (and it might) men are basically more social like dogs and women more like cats.

Unidentified 

One example would be a divorce. Many times caused by the input of another woman on a man and healed by a group of women friends on the other.

Can you imagine how wealthy a person could be if she could wave her magic wand and "make" a man a woman?  Then change a person back when the change wasn't at all what he expected? The loss of male privilege alone can cause many to turn back.

Of course I journeyed to the feminine side, looked around, took my lumps and stayed. The reason I am so pessimistic is how traumatic the trip can be. However, once you reach the other side and you belong there, there is no better feeling in the world.

No, I can't make you a woman but I can help along the way. Perhaps better than most cis women because I have been there and done it.

OK Bitches

After some thought, I have decided to go ahead and re-post one of the most unexpected comments I have received maybe ever. And, I am not so sure he even had the right blog, but here goes:

"I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This (his) blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women."

In response, I can say a couple of things. First, transgender women may indeed want to agree with you because you present an idealized view of American women we may want to subscribe to.

Second, I agree with the number of video's around these days of girls/young women running in gangs or fighting is disgusting. I had (deceased) cis-friend of mine who always said being a women was a learned/taught trait. As the gender lines are becoming increasingly blurred, younger girls are not being taught the basics. Even my brother and I who were obviously raised male were expected to know how to do housework.

It's my understanding as more and more men are beginning to stand up for themselves in court, more and more equitable settlements are being made. Rather than the men just running away with their tails between their legs.

Finally, I can't/won't speak to having kids or getting fat although I have seen my share of cis women become overweight and work like hell to lose the pounds to "get another man."

Look, I believe sweeping generalizations of any kind are unfair and I know my share of proud American women who do and can hold their own with any others. 

Girl Glasses II

It doesn't seem possible but I just reached my two year point on my glasses and it was time yesterday to pick out another pair.

I receive vision care through the Veterans Administration since I am an Vietnam era transgender veteran. What that means is, I don't literally have walls of frames to chose from, but you can't beat the price.

As it turned out yesterday, the office was nearly empty and there was no pressure to hurry up and pick a new pair of frames. Plus, the optical person was cordial and non rushed too.

I positively loved my choice of essentially a new wire rimmed design in a neutral color the optician said matched my hair color. So I guess I will have to follow through with keeping my hair color close to or the same.

I also feel "girl glasses" along with wearing my own hair have had such a powerful effect on being able to present as well as I do. I am not saying I do it extremely well, I am saying I need every trick in the book to help where ever I can!

For all of you clamoring for a picture, I will not actually get the glasses for up to three to five weeks.

Bullying the Trans Girl

I wrote the other day about my long elevator ride with two rather sketchy men standing behind me on a tiny elevator. Fortunately, nothing happened...but it could have. Read on to a couple of Connie's experiences:

"I  can relate to your trepidation in the elevator. The fact that we are, as you said in your earlier post, low hanging fruit, there are those would find much delight in exercising power over us. This is true for both cis and transgender women, but more probable for us. I have been accosted a few times, but I was also assaulted once. It was in the form of a one-two slap to each side of my head from behind, and although the slaps weren't hard enough to really hurt me physically, I can still feel the pain of them just thinking about it now. Your description of being on the elevator brought it all back. 

My incident was that of a bully who hit me more as a provocation, to which I wisely decided to avoid retaliation. There were no witnesses to the assault, but I did make noise so as to draw enough attention to have a small crowd gather. Having had that experience, I would rather brave the elements than get on a parking garage elevator if I saw a sketchy looking character on it when the door opened. We need to be aware of the dangers, and not be lulled into a false sense of security because we've found a place of acceptance - whether that be one segment of society or in general. There are still bad people out there. In fact, I'm going straight to Groupon now to see if that nifty purse-size taser/flashlight/ alarm is still available."

You are so right! Maybe I should have added though, I thought they were getting off the elevator on the same floor I was getting on. I was not careful enough though.

Just "Ranting" Away

I'm sure most of you noticed I had my "panties in a bunch" when I wrote about Evangelicals, politicians and the Radical Right last week.

While I still stand behind the post, the fact still remains I was coming off of four plus days of two different sicknesses and I am the worst baby. And of course I received comments...

Firstly, I received a comment I won't repeat verbatim (because I couldn't verify it's source) viciously slamming American women as a whole. While most certainly I have met my share of the insecure, vicious women the writer described, I have also met my great majority of the most giving persons I have ever met are/were women. I shall defer again to my erstwhile "co blogger" Connie who commented a true transgender transition is never done. I agree because of the very few MtF transgender women I have ever met who truly carry a feminine inner soul-no matter how much money they spend to look the part.

Now, having said all of that, I have always written of my early lessons with other women in a feminine world. I learned early to beware of where the knives were hidden and to watch my back.

As far as Evangelicals go Paula, I think the definition has been distorted over here (Paula is from the UK.) Everyone needs a label and it is sad the Evangelical label has been slapped on so many radical right causes. Yes, it is sad too that somewhere along the line so many fine Christian teachings have been tossed aside in this latest barrage.

So, I am sorry if I ranted too much!

Giddy With Excitement?

Today I looked back on approximately a half century or so.  When I took my first tentative steps down a long hallway in girls clothes towards a mirror in my parents house. How giddy with excitement I was! Being a girl seemed to be all fun and games and it was in my own little world. Little did I know what the years would bring.

Then fast forward to yesterday in a parking garage. I needed to take the fastest route (elevator on a ten degree day) to the third floor of the garage. As the door slowly opened, I found myself face to face with two very sketchy characters staring back at me. Probably the worst part was they were standing behind me at the very back of the car so I was expecting almost anything as they were headed towards the third floor too. Finally, one of the longer elevator rides I have ever taken ended without incident as the three of us went our separate ways.

Little did I know then (like Connie's comments on a former blog post) how utterly strange it would feel to dance with or even kiss a man. Unlike Connie though, I didn't have to attempt to dance in heels as I was wearing flats and men went out of my "pre Liz" life almost as fast as they came in. As I was fortunate to happen upon a small group of lesbian cis-women friends who I blame for making me the person I am today :).

The experience of hanging with them was new and exciting as I could for the most part sit back and watch the genders interact without much of the normal sexual tension. I quickly gained so much respect from my friends I was invited to join them on lesbian get together's (although my presence wasn't universally accepted on occasion.) I even was picked as one of my friends fave "wing persons" when we went out since I was such a social critter.

Such is life, and we all know it is but a circle if we can live long enough. As I look back on the early days of the exciting strange feel of girls clothes and have known where the crazy journey would take me, would I have done it?

If I had truly had a choice - no.  But seeing as I didn't really have one (to turn a phrase) if life gives you nylons, wear them.

Finally, I have no idea why I was chosen to walk this transgender path I have tripped and fallen down so many years. I suppose when I end this existence and head to the other side, someone will explain-or slap me up the side of the head- for being so stubborn and dense most of my life. How could I  not realize who I really was?

Duh! It was right in front of me all of the time.

Low Hanging Fruit

Often when I hear or read about some off the wall-po dunk LGBTQ hating politician, I wonder what thought process led them to their conclusions.

While I have often not been accused off being the sharpest tack in the box, I used to think someday in the future I would read about some of the staunchest LGBT opponents coming out of their closets one at a time.

While that idea remains in my noggin though, another is taking it's place in my number one spot.

The problem with career politicians is just that-career.  Once some bumkin gets elected, he needs to keep getting reelected to put food on the table. In order to do it, why not go for the most clannish group to attract-the Evangelicals and the like. After all, you can pull almost anything out of the Bible you need to, to fit the occasion.

Just get a few bible thumper preachers on your side preaching the evils in today's world and there you have it. All of the sudden the LGBTQ community are the bad guys and the transgender folk in particular.

No offense to the gay and lesbian community, but you can hide where transgender women for the most part just can't.

So all these crazy redneck Republican politicians have an easy political base and aren't afraid to exploit it. Low hanging fruit indeed.

Mammogram III

If you have never gone through a mammogram, don't get too excited about missing something special.

Once I got the nursing staff to understand MR. Hart was not there for a mammogram, I got to sit in a semi cold room and strip to my waist wearing just one of those thin hospital gowns. Right now I can hear a chorus of "Welcome to our world" from all my cis women friends and readers.

Since this was my third mammogram, I did notice the machine seemed to be a little more high tech and something out of a Star Wars movie.  A cool beast until it puts its icy plastic grips on your breasts. All in all though just a pinch here and there which is definitely superior to the alternative (breast cancer).

At my age and family history, I know I am certainly at risk and I had myself halfway believing I would be pulled off HRT when the Doctor asked for a couple extra X-rays. But it turned out she was just looking closer because the VA had asked for a total exam instead of a screening.

And the best news of all came when the Doctor smiled and said "Everything was OK!"

We Got Mail

In response to a couple of recent posts, first from Jeni on transgender PTSD:

"Post Transitioning Stress Disorder
I don't see it as being merely post.
I see it as applying before, during, and after.
One only has to look at how the trash tabloids LOVE outing and demeaning post-op transsexuals, who have successfully transitioned and managed to make a career as a woman. 

Each time the smear campaign is carried out, it's sole intent is to sell news copy, and bash transsexuals for being different.
And what happens to most such women after being outed? There's extremely rarely any follow-up."

And most likely some of the effect undoubtedly carries through to the trans girl on the street and the public at large.

And Connie added : (From an interaction she had had previously with a man) "In the case I was describing, I would say it was as much his disorder as it was mine. I don't think he was trying to hit on me (I've had that experience many times before), but he was trying so hard to show me he was accepting of my gender expression that it left me with the feeling of being "less than". His intentions were good, but his ignorance made the whole thing condescending. I always reply with a polite "thank you" in such cases, but I often walk away thinking that I should have provided some education (not always a polite thing to do). 

The fact that I recognized his remarks as being condescending may well be PTSD, but anything that interrupts my feminine identity and reminds me of a self I have tried so desperately to leave behind would do that, as well. I have managed to at least ignore those obvious things, such as having male genitals or the necessity to shave my face, to the point that they are annoyances I must endure. I rarely allow these things to be a reminder of my male self because I have control over those feelings. I cannot, however, predict what and how someone else will say or do something. Try as I might to be prepared for someone else's reaction to me, being cognizant of that which may burst my bubble is a hindrance to my own self-identity, so I choose to ignore even the possibility of that happening...until it does. Maybe that is the PTSD you're referring to"

Yes, I do think it all plays in Connie because once we begin to face the world as trans women, we have to learn the "dance" all women have to face.