Back in the Day

Recently we encountered a cis-female acquaintance whose spouse was scared to death to come out of the closet and also the mother of a trans daughter.

Immediately my heart went out to both, knowing fair well what the feelings are like. In fact, I was pretty sure the first night I came out my best accessory was an oxygen tank.

I had cross dressed off and on sure, but on this special night, I was going to go into a place I had scouted out several times as a guy-and go in as a woman. Order a drink, appetizer, the whole deal by myself.

The evening imprinted me so much that I can still feel the smooth sliding of hose inside my black flats as if it was yesterday. Not 20 years ago. The funny thing that happened was I managed to blend, breathe and not get laughed out of the place.

I am sure the bar tenders knew because soon I became a regular.

These days, I consider it my biggest pleasure to help anyone out of the closet-anyway I can. At the least it's good karma and most certainly I have enough smart and stupid stories to fill part of the evening.

The nice thing is around here at least (Southwestern Ohio) there are several "layers" of groups from cross dressers to transgender women.

Hopefully some night we can meet for coffee!  Of course there are always intangibles but if your spouse or parent supports you, the big ones are out of the way!

Just Think of the Possibilities!

Thanks Connie!

DES

The controversy over the mothers of transgender children and the drug DES, is raging again.

If you recall, the drug (with enormously high levels of estrogen) was given to women with a history of mis-carriages beginning in the late 1940's and continuing through the 1970's. Not only is DES linked to cancer in women, some also believe it causes gender identity manipulation.

Of course there are as many believers as disbelievers in the scientific community, but one way or another, those of us who fit the age profile can find a semblance of peace with this.

My mother suffered two still births before me - so I fit the profile.

Maybe all those years of questioning wouldn't have done me any good anyhow.

I didn't have a choice.

Here's a link for more.   

The Rise and Fall of the "Beta" Male?

I was surfing along this morning looking for unique thoughts and or idea's to pass along to you all. Today I ran across a post about "Beta Males" from the T Central site.

Without giving you too much of a spoiler alert, a "Beta Male" could be a person who doesn't quite need to completely transition or is having transition regrets so to speak.

All of this comes from a blog called "Claire Flourish." and here is an excerpt to get you started on the post:

"Am I a beta male? Can I enjoy that, and not transition?” I am suffering transition Regret at the moment. But first, what is a beta male?

"Here’s Evan Marckatz, a man who explains men to women. A woman asks about the “total sweetheart” “beta-male” she’s dating. She wants to “take control” but resists the urge because the Guru has advised otherwise. The Guru tells her that advice only applies to alpha males. “He’ll be thrilled that you’re taking control”. If that’s what you want, have fun!"

I would only say Evan, it's easier said than done, because most of the Beta Males I have known I kept wanting more and more until the relationship became more or less so one sided it was unworkable. Some where along the way, the Beta Male still has to develop some sort of workable personality. 

All in all though it is an interesting concept. I live 24/7 as a woman and I don't consider myself anything but a woman and I have had no surgery. So, placing myself in the beta male category doesn't work for me.

I suggest you follow the links above for your own take.

What Is Courage?

Going back to my last post on the KKK in Alabama, it's worth noting how far the word courage has come and the potential it has to move forward past the hate and ignorance in any form. Sometimes though you have to look at the big picture.

An example is my Grandma who passed away in her 90's -in the 1970's- used to tell us stories about going to Klan meetings in horse drawn wagons. My Dad was the youngest of three brothers and one sister and even though he talked a good bigotry game, was one of the first bankers in the area to loan money to black businessmen.

Then there is my brother and I. As you regulars know, we had a blow out during the holidays last year, when he didn't have the guts to stand up for me to his wife's Southern Baptist family.

My daughter represents the total direct opposite in that she, her kids, husband and his family support me completely.

So as you can see, times do change, even if we transgender women and trans men have to step back and look and on occasion need less courage than we think to make it happen.

Freedom?

As much as we don't want to talk (or write) about it, last year from the Fourth of July to this year saw an increase in transgender awareness and how we are treated as we go forward.

Of course the Executive Order on restrooms from the President was huge as was the ruling on same sex marriage. Then there was the long awaited Pentagon's decision to allow open service from transgender members.

KKK Hate From Central Alabama

I knew for sure this morning how far we have come following the announcement from the KKK that they were boycotting transgender women and men. I look good in sheets?

 Then there were Jazz Jennings, Caitlin Jenner and Laverne Cox opening trans doors even further.

Fortunately, I know I have missed so many others just as involved, or as we have written here so often-those of you who help the cause by just going out and being yourself. Which at times is so difficult.

Hopefully by next year being transgender will be so blase I won't have to write about it at all. We will be free to finally join society as full citizens.

J.J's Sunday Edition

Kristin Beck

Ker Plunk! A Fourth of July Sunday Edition is hitting your virtual front porch!
Weather: A coolish gray day here in Southwestern Ohio, expecting a rain out tomorrow though for the fourth itself. A great morning for a iced "cup o joe" or Chai Tea. Grab a cup and lets get started.

Page One: The Week that Was-or Wasn't: Last week brought the return of Caitlyn Jenner to the transgender spotlight with a cover on Sports Illustrated and kind comments about the "Make America White" again candidate Donald Trump.  On the other hand there are many other true transgender roll models to celebrate on the birth place of our nation such as Kristin Beck, the retired Navy Seal.

Page Two: Yesterdays' Coffee-Opinion: First of all, we all should never forget that freedom is never free and my thanks go out to all the active and trans vets who gave up to and all of their lives to protect us in places which just seemed crazy-until the world spins into the hot mess it is today. Thanks to all and mostly, the active service transgender members who were finally legalized by the Pentagon.

Page Three: Junk Yard Dawgs? This week, yes I did whine and cry about my trip to a junk yard with Liz. She finally told me to quiet down and at the least I knew a little about cars and not be a pretty, pretty princess again-point taken (dammit). I suggest you go back to the post "Damn Bucket List" and read Connie's totally different spin on a similar subject!

Page Four: The Back Page: Well kids, it's time to go and enjoy the day. Where ever you may be, I hope you enjoy your weekend. Thanks for spending your precious time here at J.J's house. Luv ya all!!!

Old Friends

Yesterday I was looking for an old fright wig which Liz can trim down into a facsimile of a Rocky Horror Show "Frank-N-Furter" look.

Instead I was fascinated by all the old friends I found as I went through my long unused wigs.

In many ways, each seemed to represent a part of my past progression to where I am now. Some I had fond memories of, some not so much. But either way, each reached out to me. Especially this one which I wore for two years until I literally wore it out.

These are some of my earliest attempts at pictures as I was making my way from cross dresser into transgender woman.

Damn Bucket List

Yesterday I seemed destined to be back in the male dominated arenas I never wanted to be in again. One was an auto repair store which we take our Rolls Royce to a lot, so it's wasn't bad. In fact, one of the younger guys there takes good care of us.

Next up though, I went through what I thought I would never have to do again in my life, look for a mirror for Liz's car in a hot, dusty, oily junk yard with a bunch of dirty, oily guys. (Not my type)

Actually, I didn't have to do any of the talking and sort of blended into the wood work or old cars as Liz found a mirror for her Rolls.

What surprised me next was not a big surprise. Her 18 year old son who enjoys special citizen status did the "work" of calling around for the best price for the mirror. Well, he found it but didn't bother to find out if there was an extra charge to remove it yourself and how much that would be.

My problem is that auto mechanics and I have never been friends and many of the cars there looked like I worked on them-so I was the last one to even try to figure out how take a mirror off. Neither did Liz of course so we were stuck paying more. Even that wasn't so bad but the guy charged her twice what he was charging other men in the yard removing parts from cars because- you got it- she is a woman.

So all you peeps who want to jump out of perfectly good planes or the like for your bucket list, just go ahead and consider a good old hot dusty junk yard instead.