Legal Under the Law

Seemingly after what seemed like a half a decade since my first driver's license- I went out today and changed mine from male to female. And, of course while I was at it I changed my legal name too.

Well, actually it was fifty years ago!

How did it go? I was a puddle of goo :) but with Liz's help and a very helpful BMV clerk-we "got-er-done!"

Beauty and the Art

Recently a friend of mine has launched her "on line" beauty business and it got me thinking. (Scary) And her business is not the purpose of this post.

It's another cliche but a woman's true beauty does come from the inside out. But, after it's filtered through media and society etc- beauty becomes one hell of an external deal.

SIT on WHAT???

I'm sure if I had the money to buy products from my friend (or one of the upscale make up stores) life would be easier for this transgender woman-and yes-like many of you, I feel like some days I am trying to make a purse out of a sow's ear.

Then again why not? All I am really looking for is a break even beauty point. And, I am off point.

Women of all ages compete for attention of some sort. I remember distinctly years ago when my granddaughter invited a girl who just didn't fit the mold of the other kids. She was somehow prettier etc. Years later as I attended one of my first "transvestite" mixers (of all places) I saw the same thing with a group of three or four CD's who I called the "A" listers. They were the ones who made a big deal of looking you up and down when you tried to speak.

I am going to have to release my list again of reading women-reading you as it is changing quickly in many spots.

Another key beauty point is being able to try to apply it to make it look like you aren't trying and you are able to erase in your mind what ideals your old guy is screaming look good.

I'm lucky. No matter how I'm perceived on the outside, my friends see me from the inside out. It's like last night when Liz and I went to another of our "creative" Meetup get togethers. I approached (and was approached by) several cis-women I had never met. I am not naive enough to think some of that was trans curiosity. But these days I am more apt to seek out new acquaintances.

I know too, that beauty is a combination of hobby/fun and necessity for most all cis women. So I hope my friend does really well with her sales!!!!  

Well "Heeled?"

As the 'first class' winter snow storm of the year heads towards us, I decided to dig a little deeper into my boot wardrobe. We are going to be lucky by east coast standards - who are expecting to get pounded. However, most of the congressmen are never there anyhow and Washington (expecting over 2' of snow) has snowed us for decades anyhow.

I have had a pair of faux fir topped black boots with an approximate two inch wedge heel which come about half way up my calf.I have never really worn them but-

Liz and I are going out tonight and it may be the ideal evening to get "reacquainted" with the boots. I won't be walking far and not have to worry about going over my own "personal glass ceiling height." Without heels, I'm rarely the tallest women in many rooms. Plus, I know a height paranoia with me is my problem as there are more and more beautiful cis women of height. Who cares anymore?

So, we will see if the extra rear padding I'm beginning to add again from HRT, does me good if I fall on my can tonight!

It looks as if I am going to have to stock up on a little extra tissues for my Grandson's Bar Mitzfah  this coming Saturday night.

If you are like me, perhaps you don't/didn't know much about the Jewish 'coming of age" tradition. My grand daughter had her "Bah Mitzfah" not long ago. So I had a chance to learn a little bit more.

For no particular reason except for info - I'm not Jewish and my kid converted-so that is why I didn't know much.

I chose a couple to pass along to you ( paragraphs), including these which I will be reading Saturday.

Be Generous to those who need your help.
Be frugal with what you need yourself.
Be wise enough to know you do not know everything.
Be foolish enough to believe in miracles.

And the best (and final) paragraph:

Be loving to those that love you.
Be loving to those who do not love you, and they may change.
Above all...BE YOURSELF!

Plus, if you didn't know, the U.S. Reform Jews last November -Temples and synagogues affiliated with the nation's largest Jewish movement In a resounding voice vote, Reform Judaism embraced some of the most far-reaching policies for transgender people seen among any of the nation's mainstream religious organizations, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT advocates said.)

I can't say how proud I am of my daughter. Some say the apple didn't fall far from the tree.  

I think in my case, the apples fell and rolled and she went and picked them up!

Cyrsti's Condo "Silver Screen" Update

As I wrote in the Sunday Edition, Liz and I watched "The Danish Girl" Saturday and "Carol" on a rare weekend when we go out to see two movies. Carol stars Cate Blanchett who is at once a powerful/cold wealthy woman at love with Rooney Mara.

On the other hand, Blanchett is vulnerable in the role and goes from sort of a regal/imitator to the girl next door peaking out of the shower with no makeup,

As I said/wrote before, we were interested in watching Carol also since it was filmed here in the Cincinnati, Ohio area and we happened to be downtown when they were gathering the vintage cars for the movie.

Since Carol is a love story between two women-yes there is a very erotic love scene. Sort of icing on the cake (so to speak.)

Of course between the two movies, "The Danish Girl" meant more to me from a purely personal nature. Lili Elbe's life (even though years apart) were so similar-MAINLY the interactions between her and Gerta her wife. I think I walked into the movie thinking Gerta gave Lili the green light for a transition which went all the way to one of the first sex reassignment surgeries. I was wrong. Gerta was hurt and questioning-mad and hurt through out the experience. To the point she used the magic words most all of us hear if we are married crossdressers or transwomen from our wives.  A transition is all about us.

I don't want to go into any more spoiler alerts than I did. I did overviews. 

Finally, if you live in an older city the size of Cincinnati, you may look around for what I call "boutique" theaters. They are usually around big colleges or upscale suburbs in reclaimed movie theaters.  Plus, the theaters are more apt to hold on to movies a little longer than the big box places with all the kids!

Cyrsti's Condo "The Sound Track" Fades

In rapid fire this week we have lost David Bowie and Glenn Frey to death. Frey of course was with the Eagles.

I see more than a little humor when the news stories say Bowie died early at 69 and Frey at 67 - hell at 66 I have years to go...I thought?

Of course my particular age of Baby Boomers felt the sting of death with the Kennedy's, Martin Luther King, Jim Morrison, Joplin and Hendrix all suffering an early death at the hands of others or by their own hands.

I wonder if you could ask any of the musicians in particular if they would quote the "Indy" Jone's comment about their life, :"It's not the years-it's the mileage."

I began to feel that way when I celebrated the "double nickles" (55). I had spent nearly all of my life running from my gender issues on top of a pesky bi-polar deal.

Through it all though, I was able to do some heavy duty playing along with the running and working to glue a life together with mirrors.

Perhaps when I miss a Bowie or Frey, the hurt is a bit deeper for me. The soundtrack meant a lot.

So much so, I have picked a tune for when and if I am fortunate enough to leave this existence in peace- "Call Me the Breeze" by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Read the lyrics and you will understand and if you have ever heard it-turn it up REAL loud and listen for the keyboards!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Another Sunday edition is hitting your virtual front porch and if you live around this part of Ohio your porch is cold and getting colder by the hour-down into the zero degree range by tomorrow. Yikes! It's time to make a cup of Buckeye hot cocoa (with a tad of peanut butter) and maybe a little protein powder too. So, let's get started!

Page One-the Week that Was or Wasn't:  For Liz (my partner) and I, the weekend was the whole week essentially. Friday night we joined our friends for dinner which was cool as I wrote about and today we hope to make the early (old peeps) showing of the movie Carol  

The  film tells the story of a young aspiring photographer and her relationship with an older woman going through a difficult divorce. Highsmith based the character of Therese Belivet on herself, after an encounter she had in 1948 with a woman while she worked 

at Bloomingdales in New York City. Other than being an LGBT based film, the "movin' picture show" was actually filmed around the Cincinnati, Ohio area.

Page Two-Yesterdays' Coffee-Check Your Fluids-Opinion: Recently, I wrote more in depth of the dinner with a group of friends we went to Friday and the chance I had to sit close to a transgender man friend I have who I believe (like the majority of us) has struggled with gender fluidity. The reason I say that is, early on when I met him-I used the male pronoun and learned I may have been the only one that was. Of course I asked him and he said it didn't matter. So now I listen for what his partner calls him of course. 

Gender "Fluidity" may be more prevalent than we think, similar to transgender women and men. As Connie commented "As dazzled as you may be when you learn from someone that they know another trans person, it should give you pause to wonder just how that trans person is presenting herself or himself, and then how are you being viewed in the inevitable comparison." Good point! So many times it's NOT all about us. And, the more we realize it, the better chance we have to move on with our lives in our intended gender. A point which was made in the "Danish Girl" which we saw last night.

Page Three-The Back Page - Saving the Best for Last: I was literally shaken after viewing "The Danish Girl" I mean, how dare they rip chapters from my life and put them on the big screen? At the least the movie was lush in it's backgrounds and scenery, powerful in it's message and so sad. 

With that, it's time to go. Wherever you are remember I luv you all and thanks for making the Condo a regular stop! 

Trans Week?

Last night I went with Liz out with a group of friends.  It's normally always a great time. 

I'm always dazzled though how many people who are coming forward these days saying they know a transgender person. Every time, it makes me feel as if we aren't as rare as everyone thinks. The person last night said a 20 something person in her office just came out as a transgender man and (naturally) was confused and scared to death.

I passed along my knowledge of community resources.

Also last night (in a group of approx twenty) I met up with a very gender fluid trans guy. I have to be very careful  on my pronoun use with him. (I do know he was going by he last night.)

Our group is struggling mightily to put together a Halloween Ball this year and everyone was given a chance to "volunteer" for the area they are interested in. My trans guy friend was thinking of security and a "Joker" costume out of the Batman films. Of course he asked me in essence would I do something with him? Although a couple really off the wall "Joketress" ideas flew through my noggin-he was hinting more of a Batman and I thought "Hell No!" politely of course.

So the real learning experience from last night was, I need get finally get my personal cards updated to pass along info. 

It won't be hard now since I won a personal photo session at a local photographers salon. Part of the package is a digital image I could use in all my social media. (So I can tell her what I need.)

Plus I have to update all kinds of other particulars as my life changes to pass along a card to anyone who needs it!

Everything Starts With a Dream

Those of you who have been around business management training programs, or even sports to an extent, perhaps you have ran across the idea of visualizing a goal before you can achieve it.

For the briefest moment last night I was swept off to what if land when a commercial for a breast augmentation group of Doc's came on the "Boob Tube" (couldn't help it.) I began to wonder if all my excuses against having the procedure was hurting my dream.

My dream is to have a realistic size of breasts to fill out my fashions. Excuse #1-my HRT "interruptus" has also interrupted my breast growth again. I am nothing if not impatient! Who said that? Dick Nixon??? Sincerely, I don't really know where my breast journey will end up.
Excuse #2-Finances. An upgrade to "the girls" around here is about $4,000 - exactly four grand more than I have to spend. I didn't hit the lottery as you can tell.

Answers to the excuses are actually easy to explain. If the estrogen takes me to a full "c" cup-that's cool and I will be satisfied with no additions to my body. Plus, as far as finances go, if Obama and/or the Pentagon ever does the right thing and formally approves active transgender military service-the approval could filter over to the Veteran's Administration (where I get my health care). At that point, the VA might approve transgender plastic surgery as the natural next step from the HRT they approve now.

Until that time, my dreams are in a fertile setting. One never knows when one will hatch!!!