While my Blog Gently Weeps - Again.

This comes as no real surprise to we transgender women or men who have followed the "number" of transgender violence victims over the past year.

Then today, this story jumped out to me from my Yahoo news feed today:


Monday, Aug. 17, 2015 this photo provided by Randall Jenson, lead advocate of the Kansas City Anti-Violence Project, shows an altar made by the friends of Tamara Dominguez during a memorial service for her at her home. Dominguez was run over multiple times and left to die on a Kansas City street.

For a few transgender Americans, this has been a year of glamour and fame. For many others, 2015 has been fraught with danger, violence and mourning. (Randall Jenson/Kansas City Anti-Violence Project via AP)

Here is just part of the story: 

The toll compares with 12 last year and 13 in 2013, and is the highest since advocacy groups began such tallies a decade ago.

"Most Americans think it's been an amazing year for transgender rights," said Mara Keisling, executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality. "But for the transgender community, it's been one of the most traumatic years on record."

Death by death, the details are horrific. Kiesha Jenkins was beaten and shot dead by a cluster of assailants in Philadelphia. Tamara Dominguez was run over multiple times and left to die on a Kansas City street. Police said the most recent victim, Zella Ziona, was fatally shot in Gaithersburg, Maryland, last month by a boyfriend embarrassed that Ziona showed up in the presence of some of his other friends.

For another look go here. because I could have chosen many different pictures but chose this one for a reason I will discuss in a later post.

Putting Your Money Where Your Beliefs Are?

This story actually is from last summer but is still very current of course and maybe more so as time goes by.

There is one thing about being transgender, another thing about being wealthy and yet another to use your wealth to attempt to effect real  change. (Caitlin Jenner?)

One of the wealthy heirs of the Pritzker hotel fortune — a former lieutenant colonel in the Illinois Army National Guard — came out as transgender recently.

Jennifer Natalya Pritzker — formerly known as James Pritzker — is part of the prominent Chicago Pritzker family that founded the Marmon Group and owns the Hyatt hotel chain, the TransUnion credit agency and other businesses.

She (Jennifer) enlisted in the Army in 1974 and earned a commission as an infantry officer in 1979, serving with the 82nd and 101st Airborne divisions before moving to the Illinois Army National Guard. She retired from military service in 2001.

According to Buzz Feed :  in July  Pritzker’s Tawani Foundation — a charitable organization promoting citizen service through the support of ROTC programs and other grants — had funded a $1.35 million “launch grant” to the Palm Center, a research organization studying sexuality in the military.

Of course I am a transgender veteran myself and believe the active discrimination against military members is the height of hypocrisy. So, there is a special place for those in the transgender community out and trying to make a true change.  Thanks Jennifer!

And, thanks Bobbie for passing this along.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk!  Listen closely - another weekend edition is hitting your virtual front porch. The front porch here at is chilly, but all the snow went North and West of us. So, lets grab a hot "cup o joe" (coffee) and get started!

Page One-the Week that Was or Wasn't: November 20th marked the 16th "Transgender Day of Remembrance." A somber day to be sure and a chance to inform the world the trans culture is more than pretty heels, dresses and  makeup-it's depressing and dangerous. The stats lean heavily towards transgender women being the targets of violence and even more being of color.

Please take a moment to remember and consider what you can do to help this dire, tragic statistic in the future. 

Every little bit helps. Around here in the Cincinnati, Ohio area it's time for us to celebrate the very short misunderstood life of Leelah Alcorn who took her life about this time last year. As a point of reference, she (Lelia) was never understood by her parents-to the point of suicide.

Page Two-Eat, Drink and be Mary? I felt using this transphobic phrase was an excellent way to "usher" in the holiday season in the United States. On page one, we already addressed the dire need to address the violence against us. None of that though addressed the 41% suicide attempt rate within the transgender community-and have been rejected by their families They will face a very lonely holiday period. Fortunately, many LGBTQ communities step up this time of year to fill the void. Unfortunately, it's too little too late for many, especially in secluded areas.

Page Three- The Back Page: Somehow I need to apologize to all of you about writing such a negative post. But it is the time of year to look out of your closets and away from the mirror to make whatever effort you can to help-no matter how small!
In the meantime, as always thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo and just know I love you all!

Style?

I get many questions asking my opinion on how to pursue a mystical MtF gender transition. You regulars around here in Cyrsti's Condo know, I disagree with some and place appearance as the second or even third most important transition factor for a transgender person. Learning the lifestyle of one's non birth gender-better be a bigger priority. 

To get to appearance though, one has to wade through the complex and murky world of style. 

My definition of style is "understanding the direction you want to take at any certain occasion. Once you do, factor in budget and buying constraints to present the most consistent, attractive self  you can- without acting as if you are trying.


So, there you go, I'm sure when you look at the number of different styles the cis women of all ages in the world are consumed with-you can find your niche!

Good Luck!

The Worst Person

Last night I was turned loose to go a small party at one of our friends house - without Liz. It was a small group of about a dozen couples-mostly straight. 

One of the newer couples is positively fascinated with me. (So am I on a  good day.) She wants to know more about my upcoming legal name change, etc-but positively loves my choice of hair color. (Power Violet.) (See box to left.)

Even though my hair seriously looks as ratty as it has forever, the woman loves my hair color to the point of wanting me to recommend what color would look good on her.

Perhaps some of her "trust" in me comes from the fact I am transgender and may have "inherited" some of my style sense from my gay LGBT "brethren". Perhaps you have heard the comment "too much style for one gender?"

I'm certainly flattered, and it's true I arm wrestled Liz at the hair color store aisle for the chance to "go violet", I am the WORST person to ask about what color to die your hair and would it match your skin color. 

I'm lucky to have enough almost hard earned  style for myself!

We Got Mail

Well, maybe not mail-but comments on one of our fave transgender women, Caitlin Jenner. She continues (it seems) to be a lightening rod of opinion within the trans community. Perhaps more than the so called outside world. 

I agree with this comment from "Shelli Anne Mulka":

"I feel rather sad looking at those such as Caitlin who literally spends ten of thousands of dollars on cosmetic surgeries BEFORE starting HRT to create a "Barbie Doll" image of what they perceived being feminine is all about. Those of us who go the slower route of HRT naturally changing our bodies over many months are so very much more in tune with natal females maturation. 

I feel the Caitlins of the world are missing out on a large amount of the total female experience, never knowing the experience of a second adolescence and all it entails."Real" women are grown, not manufactured ."

In many ways too, this idea of "feminization" (over a space of time) is the only way to experience a gender transition. And yes, Caitlin just jumped from closet to closet.


Plus, Connie added::  Well, if being named a "Woman if the Year" by Glamour Magazine is on your wish list, you'll have to wait until next year. If you think that Caitlyn Jenner being chosen this year is of help in dispelling the evil thoughts of others, check out what Rose McGowan has said, and then read some of the comments made by trolls on the numerous sites that are reporting the story. I have to admit that I'm a bit pissed, myself. Not because Caitlyn is starting to live her "authentic life", but that the media is playing off of it. Without even having been out for a whole year yet, she's been awarded as many times as Bruce was in two Olympic games four decades ago. That doesn't keep her from being like you, though, because she tends to open her mouth and jabber something crazy, too. Crazy is not necessarily bad, but Caitlyn tends to also say stupid things. She needs a good sit-down with someone like Kate Bornstein (who often says some crazy things, herself).

Thanks Ladies! The only thing I can add is- as (I have written i the past) am I missing the Caitlin Jenner Foundation for troubled transgender kids-or we will have too wait for season two of her Kartrashian show to hear of it?

Wish List?

It's fairly obvious to me that I won't benefit from the "Caitin Jenner" no expense spared transition fund-  so, what would be mine?
Actually, it's a very simple "short list"

1. I want my HRT estrogen back. Maybe very possible. Soon.
2. .Breast augmentation-before next summer.
3. Facial feminization surgery in some form.

Truthfully, the only way I will be able to accomplish much of my "wish list" is if the VA rules change on approving any corrective transgender transitional surgeries at all. My wish list will remain just that. But that's cool too!

I think I can survive!!!

What You See is Not What you Get?

I have read people determine gender on others very quickly. Thus,most think it is/was incumbent for us as crossdressers/transgender women to look the part of our non birth gender-to the point of obsession with some.

For some reason, Connie's friend who claims to be a crossdresser on HRT fits into this post. First of all, let me point out-most assuredly Connie's CD friend is not the first to follow the hormonal route to look more feminine. In fact, I had an acquaintance years ago whom I am a firm believer followed the narcissistic feminine route all the way to the SRS table. 

Again, not a problem.To each her own. 

These days (and in this post!) I am even going to give the much maligned (by me) Caitlin Jenner some props. What she does for me is when I am out in the world and get read as a transgender woman, all of a sudden that is not such an evil thing. Not that Jenner deserves all the credit.

I have my personal theory of how people perceive me breaks down something like this: The greatest majority of no perception at all. Like most people, I could just as well be in another dimension. Then, there are those who see me as feminine, but at a different level. Which is where the fun starts -sometimes. Truthfully, these days, most are positively fascinated or entranced. I love eye contact these days!

They know they are getting what they see. A transgender woman. Plus they still think we are pretty rare. 

Finally, also very cool are the times I get to meet the same persons more than once-even if it is just to say hello. They begin to see me less as some sort of hologram and more of a person. It's all good until I open my mouth and jabber something crazy.

Having written all of that, my next post of course will center in on my selfish holiday wish gift list!

Rent a Gender?

One of the "fluff" stories on the evening news tonight was the new "trend" among millennial fashionistas was renting high end fashion accessories like glasses to complete outfits. I thought what if you could rent your gender?

If you could take the "magic" pill and transform yourself to the person you always perceived yourself to be-would you?  The base for many great stories, I am sure. The problem would be of course would be how the insiders (transgender individuals in particular) would perceive the option versus the civilians of the world. An idea for another post. A pill for the ultimate cross dresser perhaps? Or an idea for a "Twilight Zone" episode?

Also an idea would be to write a short speculative transgender piece for the "Topside Press":

"Topside Press is now accepting submissions for an anthology of short speculative fiction by self-identified transgender writers. Speculative fiction can include science fiction, horror, fantasy, alternate history or any fiction which envisions a world that is fundamentally different from our own.

Our goal for this anthology is to showcase the talent of a diverse range of authors and catalyze the next wave of meaningful, moving, and politically engaged speculative fiction."

If you are interested, you must hurry because the deadline for submission is December 1st. (Follow the links above.)

I received the info from my Veterans Administration psychologist! Via the Dayton, Ohio PFLAG newsletter.