Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"A transgender woman can spend countless hours alone in front of the mirror, but she can only see her true reflection by looking into the eyes of others. "  Connie I.

More Fourth of July!!!

Above, draped in all her glory is one my fave patriotic shots of Julian Bond.

Now (less dramatic) the second represents something I would have never considered-not so long ago. The picture to the right is of a friend and I in Thailand (circa 1973). I am closest to the truck and we were both in the Army. Not the truck.

Happy Fourth!!!! Boom-BOOM!

The Fourth of July holiday this year does mean more to the transgender population of the LBGT crew. The gays and lesbians of course have just fought a hard fought battle to win the nation wide right to same sex marriage. But, for the most part, we trans types were left out in the cold thinking "well that's the right thing to do-but what's in it for us?" 

Being a transgender U.S. Army veteran one of the heights of hypocrisy in our society comes from the military. Recently there have been some real change in the basic policy concerning active trans troops. Unlike gay or lesbian troops, transgender women and men were out. (Talk about uncertainty!)

Then slowly and ever so uncertainly bits and pieces of change were announced. With my very limited on hands knowledge of the military (three years) I knew the "chain of command" was an all important factor in how trans troops could possibly serve. The problem was, you could have one unit commander who supported your job and service-then get transferred to one who didn't and out you go. Discharged, "see ya!"

Now at least in two branches, (Marines and Navy) they have issued a directive to not follow the chain of command and go all the way to the top:

I'm far from the expert, but I see this as one giant step towards moving the Pentagon bureaucracy towards granting troops who fight for the nation-true equality.

Even another cause for celebration!!! 

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

Our feature cover today is the androgynous male model Kostantin Kudin:

Growing Up "Girlie?"

Somewhere between Ariel's comments about growing up as a "girlie boy" on the FrontLine PBS show and Connie's blog response: " I never was a "girly boy", myself. I was too busy overcompensating in order to hide any indication that I might be that way. If she can be strong through the bullying and teasing, she'll have broken through to a place that my coping mechanisms wouldn't allow for me." - Here we are.

One of my problems is: "It is what it is-isn't." In my "formative years, being a girlie boy was wanting a doll for Christmas instead of the BB Gun I got. Or not wanting to go hunting with my Dad or younger brother- a long way from anyone knowing about the dresses or makeup I was secretly wearing. 

I often wonder why (or if) what impact those years had on the transgender woman I am today? I have pretty much tried and failed miserably at being a "girly" woman and can best be described as a "boho-hippie." 

I guess I wasn't the "girlie girl" then or now and that's OK because women are allowed to come in more shapes, sizes and types. More so than the narrow stereotypes men are restricted to. I think as we transition we struggle with the idea. Plus, let's not forget how our parents factor in of course.  Thank the Goddess times seem to be changing a bit from the Mom's like mine who offered me "electro-shock therapy" to "help" me. She was simply ahead of her time and not religious enough. Today she would have offered some sort of transgender conversion therapy.

I love to use Connie as an example because: Like it or not, I am usually amazed at how our paths were so similar. In this case though I do think she might be more of a "girly" woman than I am. - The best example of all-just find happiness!

I Shaved my Legs for This?

Today was "supposed" to have been Catscan day at the VA. I say supposed to because I got about half way there and my car broke down. (Of course it did!)

I will be the first to say I have been fortunate in my health history over my 66 years and had never been through a "cat" before. So, I had no idea on how to "prep" for it. The only guidance I could get from my generic friends and memories from my wives was: shave your legs. So I did. 

I did think I had a good "middle of the road" outfit picked out for my medical "adventure."  I wore one of my long boho skirts with a tank top and flip flops and out the door I went. (Sigh!!!)

Now, several of my most insecure moments ever as a transgender woman or cross dresser have come during the "quality" time I spend with the tow truck drivers. This morning was a little more exciting as I had one of the "helper" safety trucks pull up to see if I needed assistance. I said no thanks, I am a AAA club member and they are on the way. I have to give them an A+ rating this morning. From the girl on the phone who got my name right and didn't question my voice to the driver who said I would be more comfortable waiting in his truck-they all did a great job. (That has not always been the case!)

Approximately a half hour later, I was back at sinister-in-laws waiting to take her to her doctor appointment. While she was in there, I took the time to go get me a cup of coffee. Before certain of you regular Cyrsti's Condo "coffee snobs" jump all over me-yes it was a convenience store. (Unless you are buying-get over it :)  ) At any rate, the store/fuel station was full of tree workers who had left their confederate flags at home. Great!!! - talk about over dressed.

As it turned out, no one gave me a second look and I went back to the Doctor's office parking lot to sip my "Joe" in piece and sulk about the morning's activities.

Of course, the irony of the morning was not long along I passed along some of my wonderful/inexpensive advice about truly testing the world as a woman. While this morning certainly wasn't the first time I had ventured into testosterone loaded environments, I wasn't expecting them-all at the same time-this morning.

I guess on the bright side, even though my long boho skirt had my legs covered for the most part-I knew I done the right thing by shaving them. 

Growing Up Trans on PBS

I missed the first episode of "Growing Up Trans" yesterday on PBS. But I am sure I will have the chance to see it later. 

It's an all too familiar story: "

 It was kind of like a double life,” young transgender girl Ariel  told  FRONTLINE in Growing Up Trans, a new documentary which premiered Tuesday, June 30, at 10 p.m. EST on PBS 

She went on to say:  “I think a lot of people are completely just comfortable and fluid, but for me, I was really scared.”

'Ariel is one of eight kids, ranging in age from nine to 19, who share their stories in Growing Up Trans. With children transitioning at younger and younger ages, and with more medical options available to them and their parents than ever before, the 90-minute documentary explores the complicated struggles and choices facing families as they navigate the changing and complex world of gender and identity.

For Ariel, who began living publicly as a girl at age 11, the process has not always been easy.

“It’s harder, teasing and bullying-wise, when you’re a girlie boy, when you’re in that in-between stage, than when you’ve fully transitioned,” Ariel says.'

For more, follow the link above!

"Sinister in Law?"

I'm sorry. Recently I have been mentioning my former Sister in Law more and more here in Cyrsti's Condo and not giving you all more info. The reason? At the present time she is passing back through my life again-like it or not. Why? She is the younger sister of my deceased wife and has absolutely no blood relation left. She is also single and I am it as a support person-it.

In a way, I feel life has come full circle again. She was always the more attractive sister (between my wife and her). With a good body, blond hair and blue eyes-many times she didn't have to go far to get her way. So Mom and my wife, who were very down to earth women didn't respect her lifestyle on occasion. Many occasions as sister in law was also a big time party person-until it all started to break her down. She is now 56.

My living arrangements are complex. I still have a fairly major property to get rid of here before I can move in with Liz full time down in Cincinnati. To save money and stay warmer, I shut down a bunch of things in my old house and moved in with "sis." 

To make this all so much more complicated, she had no idea I was transgender until I came out to her after Mother in Law passed nearly a year ago. And, to make it worse "Sis" recently lost her drivers license for a yet to be determined amount of time. No, she does not have the money for Uber, has a degenerative knee disease and lives a block away from the nearest bus stop. Thus, my Taxi service for her monthly Doctor's visits and food stops. 

I look at it all this way. I don't have a choice and just can't walk away-but-in the meantime, I have been known to extract a "pound of flesh" in the meantime. (Bitch!!!) Along with wife and Mom, (maybe more so) I resented her looks and the flaunting of them. So, here I am, when they are nearly all gone. I hate to say it, but there is more than a little poetic justice. (Bitch!!)

In all fairness to Sis, she does try to give me input on my girl self (blah!!!) but she does give me a wide range of purse and jewelry options. 

Perhaps the scariest part of this all is- I can't see the end of the road for any of this. I just know I am on it.

Cyrsti's Condo "From the Hart"