The "Ripple Effect"

Unfortunately I drive past the exact spot Leelah Alcorn's life came to an end (and a truck driver's undoubtedly changed forever) - at least once a week and sometimes at night.  To say the least, it is a dark, desolate and busy stretch of road at night.  If it is possible though, the setting makes the whole story seem even more tragic and surreal.  But on the bright side, many are not forgetting the world's loss - as you will read in this article from Cincinnati.Com. It which recaps the events since Leelah's suicide:

The suicide nearly two months ago of Warren County (near Cincinnati) teenager Leelah Alcorn triggered a national soul-searching about gender identity, suicide, parent-child relationships and social progress.

Global attention to Alcorn's death came amid growing awareness of the transgender experience, particularly in the past three years with the shot to stardom of actress Laverne Cox. Less than a week before Alcorn's death, movie stars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie announced that their 8-year-old child, a girl named Shiloh at birth, preferred to be called John and to wear boy's clothes. Olympic gold medalist and reality-TV star Bruce Jenner isreportedly transitioning, at 65, from male to female.

The Internet ignited and fueled the conversation about Alcorn. She posted a wrenching suicide note on the social media site Tumblr that flashed across the world. (The Tumblr posting has since been taken down.) A friend also posted Alcorn's selfie posing in a dress, a photograph that artists adapted around the world. That was only the beginning:

• The #leelahalcorn Twitter hashtag continues to generate rolling traffic. A petition drew thousands of signatures urging Congress to ban therapy that aims to dissuade people with questions about gender identity or sexual expression.

• Vigils were held in Cincinnati, across Ohio and the nation in Alcorn's memory; demonstrations were held as far away as New Zealand.

And there is more.  Go here to check it out!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Another version of our Sunday Special.  Around the Condo at least - it's another morning for nice snuggy jammies and a hot cup o joe!

Page 1.- The Week that Was-or Wasn't.  Again this week, the ever evolving transgender story seemed to take a back seat to the "polar vortex" which froze the eastern part of the country.  My understanding is this one came from Siberia.  One of the positives I guess is I learned a little better how Siberian women dress. 

Page 2.- One Person at a Time. I am nearly to the point where I have lost track of my counts of how many civilians I have come to know now. As we have talked about around here, when the world sees you interacting as just another individual in their world, doors open with most. The nice part is some want to do more than just know or like you-they want to embrace you. Over the years I have chatted with countless individuals who really need friends to reach out to. I don't know how long these "meet up" groups have been going on but if you are interested in finding "friends" or acquaintances, Google "Meet Up.com". and see if there are any groups in your area. Plus it is possible for you to even start one.  It's an excellent way for people to see you as more than a transgender person.

Page 3.- Transgender Vets. Seemingly every week I discover others who's stories very closely follow mine.  By now, most all of you know I am a transgender veteran, but not many know my first wife was also in the military. In fact, we met in Germany in 1974.  This week I discovered another military/trans couple after I read Marcia's blog.  She is a naval vet and her husband Angel served in the Coast Guard.  With all the coming out stories flooding all the media's, I just have to believe we are on the cusp of more and more trans vets coming out of their closets.  After all, the military is a well known place to attempt to "solve"-unsolvable gender issues.

Page 4.- Leelah Remembered. Fortunately, at least in her hometown and beyond Leelah Alcorn's tragic suicide continues to reverberate. More coming up in our next post!

Burning Transgender Bridges

I considered naming this post after "Last Call" (I paraphrase), I don't care where you go-but you can't stay here. In my case at least, I haven't had anyone tell me to my face I had a choice in transitioning to a transgender woman's life. I used to think of the transitioning process as "jumping off a cliff".  Now burning bridges seems more appropriate. You have a chance to look back and see how well the fire is burning, how well is your bridge holding up and how fast can you run.

It's also important to not let others see you burning your bridges-or at least the fire. I had an experience last night at a dinner meetup (meetings) in one of Liz's groups.  Several members bring their kids on occasion.  For the most part, they are overwhelmingly girls. Interestingly, one of them is exceedingly androgynous and exceedingly shy.  After a little research Liz and I found she was a generic and even had a androgynous name.

Last night though, another 14 something? girl was there.  She, I presume hadn't seen much of me at other meetings.  As many other teen girls do, they sense a difference in me which I think goes past looks these days. HRT life changes are real feminine gender enablers. (More than I ever considered.) As it turned out, she and I were brought face to face a couple of times during the evening and as always with generics-the eyes say it all.  Hers had a mixture of curiosity and acceptance. The last thing I wanted to do was show her any of my gender bridges still on fire.  I smiled and softly said hello as she attacked the M&M's on the food bar.

 From then on I blended back into the fast moving world of a teen aged critter. After all, there was her cell phone to consider! I wondered briefly if I had any part of her conversation but then remembered my own advice. It doesn't have to be about me at all.

Transgender Vet Follow Up

Marcia was suggesting a trans vet roll call of sorts and I was sent one (thanks!). Here on Susan's Place. Or, you can find it on my list of links too!  Thanks J!

So Close and Yet So Far

I know you have read me write here in Cyrsti's Condo about how amazed I continue to be about those of us in the trans or cross dressing community share a commonality about life.  From Pat's examples of "spreading" the word in gay venues about her to Connie and I playing football in our youth (different teams) to cover our "girl-ness" -literally tons of stories are the same.  Now, I have another which goes back to Marcia and Angel (left) of the blog "A Cross Dressers Wife." 

It turns out Angel is a trans vet and Marcia is a vet (USN) too.  Of course most of you probably know by now and I am trans vet but maybe what you don't know is my first wife is a vet too.  We still get along and was actually one of the first people I came out to as a "transvestite" in Germany where we serving in 1974.  It's a small world.  Marcia finished her post with these words:

"My hope is with this new-found openness in our country, we are becoming more united as a country that embraces our differences, inspires our characters and promotes our people to new levels of understanding and tolerance where we truly know the extent of what it means to be free.   And Freedom isn't free.

Hey Cyrsti, Let's start a role call of our military trans* that will be counted."

Angel Harding - USCG
Maria Harding - USN (Wife)"

No freedom is not free, and it's tragic the transgender military members fighting on the front lines for freedom- are the first in line to be denied it!!!!

Going Back to My Roots

Before I get too far into this post, no I am not talking about my hair roots! I'm writing about my very dark years in the cross dressing closet and realizations how the past has effected my present.  First of all, I'm always surprised when peeps think I have magically arrived at this point in my life without a tremendous amount of stress and tension. Very simply, I almost didn't live through it. Connie said it best- we are survivors.  In most all transgender cases (to quote a movie line and twist it) "it's not the years-it's the mileage too."

Recently, I have been revisiting my past by reliving it through others.  On one side, there is Gena I'm chatting with.  She is in her 60's deeply closeted except for a semi understanding spouse and beginning to think she is trans. Then there is Maria with her Cross Dresser's Wife blog. And, finally last night there was Kadijah who by accident ended up sitting beside me at a Creative Society of Cincinnati meeting. 

All of these dots connect. All take me back to my roots.  Gena is self explanatory.  We share the same age and probably if not for certain extenuating circumstances she could be in a similar situation as I am. Maria on the other hand most likely shares much of the same problems/opportunities which my wives have had from loving a cross dresser or transgender woman. (And more I will mention in another post.) And then there is Kadijah who was a "civilian" until last night.  At these meetings, Liz primarily networks her beadwork, knitting etc. and I use them to "hawk" my book Stilettos on Thin Ice.  Of course, as I do, I automatically out myself as I did with her when she asked what my book is all about.  Anymore my simple answer is my sometimes painful story of living a lie as a cross dresser until I came out and transitioned as transgender.  It turned out Kadijah was a 30 something very talented artist from here in Cincinnati and we ended up having a fascinating conversation which went way past being trans.

Never a dull moment! Thank goodness!

It's Not All About Me

Yesterday, I was making my way through the grocery store on a decidedly snowy winter day, I was immersed in buying only a few items to get us by at  the house.  As I was stopped at the salad department finally fighting off the cold in my long wool coat, I heard this voice behind me say "can I help you sir?"

I briefly thought "Really??" until I turned around and saw the real sir the produce clerk was talking to-not me.  So I guess it's true, it's not all about me.

Lewis Carroll said it best.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

Over the years I think I have seen over a million on line pictures of anything from the most off the wall fetish cross dressers to the most beautiful transgender women.  For my own purposes I put together a checklist of sorts.  In a picture, I basically look for drastic photo shopping, where it was taken and who took it.  Was the picture taken outside, with a group etc...only then do I backtrack from appearance (or whatever initially drew me to it.)

Recently I found a set of pictures from Alex Cole on Pinterest.  I think she represents the joy and style of presenting herself as a woman and decided to pass along a picture here.  To see more, go to Pinterest and search for her!

Almost Equal Time?

Connie obviously didn't think kindly about my suggestion of any similarities between her and reality TV (not CD) person Mick Dodge and she even tossed the age card at me! 

Although I have visited the rain forest on the Kitsap Peninsula a few times in the past, and I actually do live on a peninsula on the Puget Sound in Seattle, I have, thus far, been able to dodge Mick. BTW, this peninsula is partially made up of Discovery Park, which was once Fort Lawton - where Cyrsti once was stationed. Of course, they hadn't change the name at that time, because Cyrsti had not come to really "discover" herself yet. Funny that my house overlooks the park, and I am still overlooking Cyrsti today. (Back to Mick) I even grew a beard one time at the ill-conceived advice of a therapist who thought he could "cure" me. While I'll admit to being a survivalist, I never was anything like Mick, nor was the Hoh Rain Forest named after me. I do wonder, though: If a tree fell on Cyrsti's Condo, would anyone hear it?


Hmmmn Connie, if I was techno advanced enough, I suppose I could add tree sound to the blog!  As far as Ft. Lawton goes, does having a drill sergeant at Ft. Knox by the name of Custer count? (True story!)  He tried to overlook me too Connie because he was about four inches shorter.

I have added a rather heavily (OK Really Photo Shopped) Pic from Connie's Facebook page above. Below is what she really looks like from her forest as she waits for a tree to fall. Or is looking for "magic mushrooms."