Hitting the Transitional Wall

Some say "You transition a little every day."  That's true, of course in everything. With or without HRT, my 65 year old body is radically different-in a radically different world.

In December here in Cyrsti's Condo, I wrote about the emotional turmoil I went through - right into what I call "hitting the walls." Plural, because it's all too complex to just call the process one wall. I'm fortunate enough to be with Liz- a person who in four plus years has been able to navigate the maze which has always been my noggin better than I can. As I wrote before, yesterday I asked the therapist if she and Liz had talked before I got there.

Although it's still a day to day process-my "passing privilege"  is more and more half full than half empty.  Of course with me, that presents another problem?  After my therapist was almost peeing down her leg telling me how presentable I looked yesterday - I said thanks of course-but....looking ahead at the final public transitional goal of just going stealth, where does that leave me?  If all of the sudden, I am not a trans person in the world-just one of everyone else? And that matters how?

About that time, I'm sure even though she couldn't say it, the therapist was thinking WTH? Isn't that the point? After discussion, the best I could come up with her and Liz is, all the years of being paranoiac about appearance being the only goal of going out-the vestiges are still with me. I have not transitioned past all of that yet.

Perhaps, I never will- I will let you know.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover today is the beautiful MtF transgender woman Kristen Taylor

Cyrsti's Condo "Woman of the Day"

Our feature over is feeling blue. She is  Ketrine Lakrine MtF transgender woman from Russia.

Loving Being Wrong for all the Right Reasons

I am rather "persistent" some would call it stubborn?  They are wrong-right?

Regardless of all the word play, there is a good reason for this Cyrsti's post.  Catching you all up on the latest news on my Veteran's Administration front-the last time I left you, I was discussing fighting with them again about not providing me outside endocrinologist care.  By VA doctrine they are supposed to. Knowing the system, I knew I should be able to win again by pounding on the system.  Pay for my outside care bill or provide me in house care.  Earlier this week, after only two months and two zillion calls, I was surprised with the news that not only were they paying for my Sept. outside Doc visit-they were making me an in house appointment next week.  Not bad, it only took me three years.

Now, on to the wrong/right subject.  Today, I had a second monthly appointment with a VA therapist to make sure my inner clock wasn't getting wound too tight.  I went to the first appointment as what is left of my boy self. For some unknown reason, I was going off the deep end agonizing about doing it again. (I am very good at making problems for myself where there aren't any.) Finally, I sat down with Liz and talked it out.  She told me beyond any shadow of a doubt to hitch up my big girl panties and don't go in male drag.  So I didn't and had a great session.  The therapist quite simply said if she never had a chance to meet the true me, how could she do her job.

By the time I was done with my session, I called Liz up and asked if she and the therapist had compared notes?  Plus maybe I may have told Liz she was right-kind of!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Cyrsti's Condo "Movie Trivia"

Darth Vader: "Luke I am your father and this is what I really wore under that robe!"

Professional Woman's Night Out

My partner Liz is a member of several "Meet Up" groups in Cincinnati.  Last night she took me along to her Professional Women's Meetup dinner last night. 

As always, I had very little idea of what to expect. 

At the least though, I should have expected the self introductions when everyone around the table introduced themselves.  Of course, where I was sitting, I was second to speak.  I am not new to introducing myself and anymore, not shy about doing it. I essentially said, "Hello I'm Cyrsti Hart, I am a transgender woman, blogger and writer. Needless to say, I was beginning to receive a little more attention by this time.  My biggest mistake was not bringing enough of my Stilettos on Thin Ice book promo cards as most everyone wanted one. 

As far as the rest of the meet up went, I was flattered to be among such a group of interesting accomplished women.  Accountants, Attorneys, Artisans and all.  My gender take on the evening was, women as a group tended not to talk about the success of their business's as much as giving them a gentle networking nudge.  All the time, they were mixing in tons of "soft" info about where they live, have lived or plan to live.  Of course. I didn't expect a male dominated "sledge hammer" networking approach either, so for the most part (for once) I was quiet and learned.

The most wonderful part of the evening when I walked away from the experience with yet more knowledge of the gender path I was taking.  I'm most appreciative to my partner Liz for taking me and  to the women around the table who welcomed me into their circle!

Cyrsti's Condo "House Keeping!"

As I wrote in my last post, there are tons of items to get caught up with here in the "Condo"-

First, let's not forget THE Ohio State Buckeyes won the first NCAA National College Football Championship!  Go BUX!!!!

Secondly, I don't know if all you regulars around here know that when she gets out of the rubber room she is confined to, The Fabulous Connie Dee's sarcastic sense of humor is far and beyond the best I have encountered.  A classic feminine- stick the stiletto heel in your back-while she runs as you are laughing. 

This comment was a reference to my radio interview with a teen therapist (who happened to be a Christian) who attends the same church with the Leelah Alcorn family:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEE

Is a trans fly one that dresses up like a butterfly? You could light on the cross in the church, which would make you cross dressing. You'd be all the buzz. No swats, but there could be moth balls involved. Tom (therapist) would surely break out with a "Him"......LOVE IT! I remember looking for cartoons like this in playboy's and trans magazines (all bought by me..lol) when i was younger. or maybe a "refrain", anyway. My mother always told me to be pun-ctual for church - Sorry!

 

Interestingly, Liz and I met another transgender entertainer from the Cincinnati area Saturday night by the name of Debi.

 

When the institution let Connie out again, she came up with this: " I have always thought that it would be fun to have a silk purse in the shape of a sow's ear. That, at least, goes toward attitude and confidence; maybe even friendliness as a conversation piece. Some rely on FFS to overcome physical detriments, but my FFS is a bit different in that it stands for "Fast and Friendly Smile". :-)"

 

I second the emotion about FFS- my greatest transgender "passing priviledge" comes from my smile.

 

And, as Pat added:  An old mentor told me that you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. That does not mean all is lost.
Attitude, confidence, friendliness and acceptance of others will overcome physical detriments.

 

Finally, Alicia responded to the classic "cartoon" we posted:  LOVE IT! I remember looking for cartoons like this in playboy's and trans magazines (all bought by me..lol) when I was younger.

 

As always, thanks so much!!!

 

 

: 

Bagging Saks?

Sorry for the delay in answering my mail! First of all- our Cyrsti's Condo post on the Sak's transgender discrimination debacle stirred up several great comments:


The first from Mandy Sherman who mentioned her trips as a youngest with her Mom to Saks and then commented:   Saks management apparently doesn't believe that we, as a group, have sufficient disposable income to patronize their stores. Thus they make it known of their scorn for us, and they can't see that they are suffering any harm from their actions.... If they treated us right, I (for one) would prefer shopping in the manner Mom did, with all the attention she got from clerks. (Obviously not as often as she did, but then, I'm not an executive's wife!) 


The second from Alana Jane:  I suspect that it's because of Texas and their neo-con far right evangelical beliefs. I say if you want a good shopping experience go to Nordstroms or Bloomingdales. You can get a personal shopper to assist you. That said, a judge needs to slap these Texas yahoo's with a sever damages penalty. 


And the "Fabulous Connie Dee" added:  Sure, Sak's can get by without making sales to transgender people, but they are really concerned about losing sales because of having a transgender employee. They should recognize that this negative publicity may cause them to lose much more than a transgender employee ever could. We, as a group, can boycott, but we really need to expose these people and their ideals [sic] for what they are - [SICK]


Last but far from least -Pat:  It would seem to me that they have the wrong team of high priced, white shoe, lawyers handling this case. From my experience there are some lawyers who will habitually 'over-lawyer' the case and throw every gauntlet down. A defense lawyer should keep in mind that he is a simple and humble defense lawyer. The job is to parry the thrust of the plaintiff's case, not to strike back and enrage the opposition.


I took excerpts from all the posts due to length constraints but you read them in their entirety here.  Good job ladies (and Connie) for providing every idea from geographical bias, to legal angles, to financial considerations on this story.  I'm a firm believer if you follow the money, you will discover the true basis of many decisions.  Like Mandy said, if you can indeed afford the Saks shopping experience-you can afford not to shop there.